Stupid Facebook!

I would just leave it alone. You know the truth about who has raised your daughter. If you give him any attention he is going to run with it.

He is her biological daughter so he does have a right to claim her as his child.
Just stay away from getting into it with him or anyone that communicates with him. Take the high road. Later I promise, your daughter will thank you.

6 moms found this helpful

When you say "biological" - does he have paternity rights he could exercise? My son's biological father has none. We did a closed adoption, my husband IS my son's father - legally.

So, to all the Moms that say he has a right because he's the bio father - I guess it depends. My son's BIO father has no rights to do any such thing, any more then he could take a total strangers kids and post their pictures. I would contact facebook and request the removal of MY childs pictures if he has no right to post them.

Now, if you're saying "bio" father because he is the paternal father but doesn't visit... that is different. If he is legally her father - he can post her pictures as he pleases.

3 moms found this helpful

I am wondering how you found out about this, since you are not in contact with him?
There is obviously some part of him that is proud of her, and loves her, although he doesn't act like it. Maybe one of the reason's he stays away is that with his problems, he knows that he is a lousy father and wouldn't be a good influence at all...I'm probably giving him too much credit---but don't worry about it.
Anyone who knows him will know that he doesn't see his kid, so he can't be thought of as a great Dad, but he is still her father and he has a right to show pictures of her, as long as there isn't anything inappropriate about the pictures. These are not pictures of "some random kid" they are his flesh and blood, even though he doesn't "know her".
Unless your home address or your full names, etc are posted with the photos, no one knows where you are, and there is nothing to be scared about.

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with the other posts.

That said, you can't control him or what he does. You can't change what he chooses to tell people or post on his FB account.

What you can do is not send pictures, protect any current e-pictures you have online so that he doesn't get copies and more material to post about your daughter anywhere.

It may be creepy that he posts these pics, but think about it, if he is (or was) as you say, then she may be the best he has to present to the world. And frankly, it may be the best thing he ever offers this world.

I think for your own sanity, you don't check out his FB page anymore. Focus on what you can control...yourself, who you share pictures with and the kind of daughter you raise.

3 moms found this helpful

R.,
I think I'm the only one here that actually likes facebook. Of course my facebook is private and only shared with family and friends. For my family and I it is a great tool of communication, since I have family in Florida, California, New York, and many friends in other different states. Having said that, I think that no matter how it hurts you the fact is that he is your daughter's father, and maybe, just maybe his mother is trying to help him have his daughter be a part of his life, even by means of photos.
I am very proud of you for raising your daughter without 'his' help, but remember that one day when she grows up a little older (and believe me it won't be too far from now) she is going to ask about her father; and you are going to have to explained how things didn't work out between both of you and you separated. Nonetheless, that still will be her father and she might want to meet him. So, just let him have as many pictures of her as he wants, you have the real thing! your daughter!!! and nothing can change that. Maybe I'm just a little to optimistic here, but he might change his life style, or might be trying and the only way to help his pain and guilt of not being there for her and being a part of her life.
So, take pride in what you have done with her and the beautiful relationship you have with her; and just let him be.
Blessings

2 moms found this helpful

I think Laurie has it right. He is her biological father , so no matter how you put it and no matter what he's done or how mentally ill he is, he does have a right to put pictures of his daughter on facebook. Maybe he's getting up dates from his mom on how she's doing. Putting pictures up doesn't mean he's claiming your hard work, it just means he's proud of her. And that should make you proud cause you're the one that's raised her well enough that her father that hasn't seen her much is proud of her.

2 moms found this helpful

R.:

I have my kids pictures on FB. Like you - they are with me and my husband.

My first impulse was to ask WHERE he's getting the pics- but I see that his mom showing him pics. Is she on FB too?

If you haven't contacted him in years AND want to keep it that way - my next question is WHY were you looking at his FB profile? If you don't care about him and are happy that he is NOT in your lives - WHY are you even there?

Your daughter is not some random child - he brought her into this world too - whether you like him NOW or not - drugs or no drugs. At one point in your life you loved this man - enough to create a child with him.

I don't understand how he is taking credit for your parenting - but maybe he wants to try to be a father. Maybe he's getting his life back together.

If you believe he's getting the pics via his mom - have a talk with her. She can share pics of her grandchild with ANYONE she chooses. You can state that you "do want your ex to post pics of our child on FB."

Bottom line - I don't think it's creepy that he has pictures of HIS daughter on his FB profile.

2 moms found this helpful

Contact Facebook. You are the parent with sole custody, it does not matter if he is the father biologically, you have custody. Facebook should remove them for you.

1 mom found this helpful

If he hasn't seen her in so long how does he have so many pictures of her? At best they must be very old. All you can probably do is block him from your photos so he can't "share" any recent ones.

1 mom found this helpful

My oldest sons father's gf posted on her MySpace that my son lived with them. I thought it was pretty funny because they would take him maybe once every 3 months. I let it go because anyone that knows them knows the truth.

1 mom found this helpful

This probably isn't the answer you're looking for but, even though you don't want your baby associated with him (for apparently very good reasons), he does have a right to feel some association with your daughter as she is his too. He obviously has problems and maybe this is the only way he can express pride in the only good thing he's done in his life. He probably thinks that he's doing you guys a favor by not coming around and tainting her with his issues. But he can still be proud of her, and he's showing that by posting the pictures of her. Now if he's saying things like "This is the weekend I took her to a ball game" or something like that, then yeah, I think you have a reason to be upset, but if he's just posting pictures of his little girl, I don't think that's bad at all. Maybe he's doing it so his family can see how she's growing. No matter how mad you are at him now, you obviously had feelings for him at one point in time, and she does two sides of a family. You didn't mention how he got the pics to post. Try to take a deep breath and remember that he is her biological father. He does have some rights also, even if he is a crummy one.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi R. I just wanted to respond to let you know that I am going threw the same thing. I completely understand how you feel. My daughter is 3 and I have raised her all by myself with no help from her so called biological father. Who knows nothing about her, but posts pictures on his facebook of my daughter like he knows her and it bothers me the comments people put like you a great daddy or she is lucky to have such a great daddy, and I just want to scream. His family only ask to see my daughter maybe once every 3 months if that. I don't really have any advice I just want you to know that you are not alone.

1 mom found this helpful

no, i don't think it's creepy. he may be a total schmuck, but he's still a dad, albeit a crappy one, and i guess this may be the only way he can feel connected. i certainly understand your pique, and it may be possible to get FB to remove them (although unlikely). i think your stance of keeping a big distance from him is a good one, and you should include checking out his FB page in that. check out what FB can do for you, and then go back to ignoring him completely.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Well, personally, I would not give it another thought. There is not much you can do. Someone always wants to take credit for someone else's work. Maybe he is just trying to make himself look good.

You should just have to report it to facebook, there is a link to do so on the pic. I agree, he isn't around so he shouldn't come off as a loving father.
He clearly is not.
Good luck!

Totally creepy. Call his mom and find out the 411. Ask her to not allow him to post or unfortunatly you will no longer be sending photos. He is trying to look good in the eyes of others and if he is bi-polar God knows what his intentions are. I hate FB for so many reaons and this is one of them. You are right to protect your daughter. Get to the bottom of this and then take a big breath and enjoy your stress free life without this guy.

No, you are not crazy! he doesn't have the right to post one picture of your daughter! How does he have the pictures?

when i read creepy i read that it is creepy that he has pics of you children with no privacy filters. which i totally agree with. think his mom would have a talk with him about making those pics private to 'friends' only? while this would totally freak me out and i would hate it, i might try to let him have the pictures but making sure the girls are safe.

I know that you are not happy with this, and if I was you I wouldn't
be happy with it either. BUT he is still and always will be her father - NOT DADDY - just father. He sounds like he is proud of her and that he wants the whole world to know.

I DO NOT do facebook, nor myspace, nor Twitter ~ and I never will.
But we can not stop someone from putting what they want on it.

I know that you said that you do not want to talk to him
but this is the only way. Call him and talk real nice and explain to him that
for her safety could he please remove her pictures from a public form.
See what he says. If you say it real nice and sweet he might say ok.

I wish you the best with this.

I'd send him a message on facebook saying, Daddy why do you have my pictures on your facebook page when you don't even know me. You don't call me, send me anything for special occasions, or support me in any way. Please don't act as if you're my Daddy with pictures. Or if he really has mental issues, you can be the bigger person and ignore it. Chances are no one knowing you and your daughter will ever have to view his page.

how did he get the pictures? if you dont want him to have them and to share them with his family then dont give them to him or anyone that would share them with him. aside from that try to look on the bright sde of things. he is acknowlaging his daugher and thinks about her and wants to show her off....far more than many "fathers" out there. unless he is saying or dong anythng that is false about your daugher i'd let it go. i know it hurts and is hard but there are more important things out there to worry about. if anything comment on the pictures saying where it was taken or how much she enjoyed what she was dong in the photo so that friends and family that see them can hopefully figure out that you are the person thats actually WITH your daughter caring for her and capturing these moments not him.

Hi R.,
I'm not sure what your custody arrangement is with your child's father, but if he has posted pics of her against your will I don't see how he could do that without your permission (but I'm also not a lawyer so I'm not sure). I would complain to facebook, I'm not sure if it will get you anywhere, but it's worth a try.