Stomach Troubles, Depression, Just Need a Listening Ear

3munchkins,

I remember your post from a week or so ago. You were pondering using antidepressants because of the extreme anxiety you are suffering from.

First, I'm going to give you hug, and then I'm going to do what a good friend would do and tell you-- it is time for you to get some real help in dealing with this. I hear a lot of fear in your posts-- fear about taking something 'not natural', fear of taking something which could help but may (unknown, right?)*may* exacerbate the stomach symptoms.

I'll say this as a woman who very much wanted 'all natural' in my life: there are limits to what can be done with supplements and herbs. I know this firsthand. When I tried treating some problems related to reproductive health naturally, I didn't get the response I needed. Before I hit my limit I was in pain 50% of the time, taking an immense amount of Advil and feeling horrible. I was ready to get a hysterectomy when a new gyn suggested a birth control pill. While I'd been opposed to this previously, all I could think at that point was 'why not? It can't be worse than this.'

Things got better. So improved, now that I rarely have symptoms.

I posted the last time about my own dealings with anxiety and my own aversion to going on medication. I was opposed to it for a long time, my husband really discouraged it. We were both afraid-- afraid I might change, I might be a 'zombie', afraid of side effects (which were slight and went away after a month-- and no, no zombie/shut down feelings). I have IBS myself; going on an antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication turned a lot of things around.

My concern for you is that your quality of life is being dramatically diminished at this point and yet you are letting your fear trap you into NOT taking a medication which, cognitively, you know could really help you. I'm NOT a big "woohoo! better living through chemistry" person, but when I read that you are afraid you won't be physically capable of working because of anxiety symptoms, it seems very clear that there is something deeper blocking you from helping yourself. What I hear you responding to with the St Johns Wort is purely anecdotal, right? I'm sure the person who told you this has an entirely different body than you do. In fact, most comments about medications online are anecdotal and NOT based in any sort of controlled study.

This may seem like tough love and please know, I am not wanting to hurt your feelings or beat up on you. That is not my intention. I just want you to really consider WHY you are so opposed to taking a medication which might be able to give you (as a whole person, body and soul and spirit) peace of mind, clarity and alleviate some awful suffering. IBS and digestive issues, I know firsthand, can be horrible. Years ago I was dealing with some of this stuff and had ultrasounds, bloodwork-- nothing showed up. It was my body responding to the chemical imbalance in my brain and it was hell. Years later, when it started up again, I got the treatment I needed and have felt so much better.

So, all this to say, I would strongly encourage you to look at what you are opposed to, afraid of, and to look critically at why you are choosing to only value 'natural' remedies. I've been in this same boat and it is miserable. While we do go for natural first (I still rely mostly on diet for dealing with my IBS), as someone once said, "you don't get a trophy for not taking medication". I know this is hard to hear, and I don't want to pressure you,-- honestly, though, my best friends were the ones willing enough to tell me what I didn't want to hear when I *did* need to hear it. I truly hope you can move forward and find some peace. You need to take action, today. Staying stuck in fear is not helping you. Again, I'm giving you a hug because I have been in the thick of it and I know it's hard-- seriously, examine your beliefs about medications and try to understand that your head is getting in the way of what you need to be doing, be it trying St Johns wort or a bonafide medication. Life is too short to stay stuck willingly.

H.

I have been in a similar place. I want to commend you right up front for doing all that you have been doing! You are awesome! One of the things many people don't understand about depression is that it can be paralyzing - it can keep you from doing anything. When I was suffering, I sat on the couch and, if I sorted the mail into bills/reycling/personal, and got a few dishes into the dishwasher, it was a great day. So you are caring for 3 kids, have made and attended a series of appointments, and have interviewed for and obtained a part time job. That is HUGE! So start with a pat on the back (or twelve).

You are open to a variety of avenues, which is a good thing. I know that so many of the choices before you offer pros and cons. The thought of a job is overwhelming, yet it would help the financial pressures. You want to pursue natural choices, yet you are pursuing medical possibilities. You have concerns about pharmaceuticals but you also have concerns about non-pharmaceutical remedies. You have a husband who loves you but who does not understand the ins and outs of a chemical imbalance that causes depression. (He's not alone - a lot of people think that a list of "what's good" should convince you not to be depressed. They don't understand that it's the same as telling someone to calm down and she won't have infertility anymore, or to just relax and her stomach will clear up.) But if you can't stop him from saying things, at least try to not feel guilty - that'a a punishment you are visiting on yourself and it's not justified.

I want to give you hope. I got away from medical things but I did use therapy and antidepressants short term so I could work on other things. I definitely used supplements and am healthier, have a completely healthy digestive system, and am off antidepressants and other medications. In fact I found that I was able to take care of all of those things with one regimen - restoring balance was key. I stayed away from all pills because of their effect on the stomach & intestines, so that's something you can consider. There's plenty of evidence that a non-pill formula can have better results.

If you need more support, please reach out. You are not alone, and there is hope. You will get a lot of conflicting advice and that can be hard to sort out especially when depression and anxiety are a factor in your brain. I have been where you are. Don't give up. But don't try to do everything alone or on someone else's timetable.

(((HUGS)))

Ok, you need some therapy ASAP. Find a good female therapist and get there once or twice a week. Start talking. It will help so much.

Next, forget going natural for a bit and just get on some Zoloft. It doesn't have to be forever, just until you are feeling better.

Once you chill your mind a bit, everything will fall back into place - really!! Remember, to be the best mom possible, you MUST take care of yourself. If you are not well, how can you be your best? You can't.

And don't be scared. There is no reason to b scared to take an antidepressant. So many more people than you realize take them. You will be FINE!!

Good luck!

BIG ((((HUGS))))!!! I want to second the vote that you try medication. I take issue with the idea floating around out there these days that vitamin supplements are "natural" and medication is all chemicals. Things are not that easily distinguishable. For example, the chemo used to treat cancer comes from a plant. Bottom line, you are suffering and need and deserve to feel better. Also, your baby needs you to feel better. Thankfully there are treatments out there that can be very effective: meds in combination with talk therapy gets the best results. I wish you the best and please keep us posted.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You can't just snap out of it. You have a chemical imbalance in your brain coupled with the hormonal changes from the pregnancy. You need some medication to get you through this right now. It may be something you will eventually not need but for right this minute you need help.Take the St John's Wort along with a probiotic because no one should continue to feel like you feel right this minute.

Have you noticed what you're eating when your stomach decides to turn on you? I have stomach woes, too, but mine are mostly spiritual. When I'm not at peace, my stomach takes a turn. Ginger is good to keep around. Just chew and swallow a pinch at a time. You can use it to make a tea if you like tea. I also have a sensitivity to gluten and corn, though that would never show up in any bloodwork. (I was first diagnosed with IBS.) Maybe you can start eliminating some of that stuff from your diet. Let me add that two of the symptoms of this gluten sensitivity are depression and lethargy. It's probably worth looking into; it certainly was for me.

These are some things that you can look into for immediate relief.

In addition to a gastroenterologist, get an endocrinologist. That doctor will look into how your hormones are working together and be able to speak more directly to your diet.

When our son was 1 1/2 yrs old I was running myself ragged trying to be Super Mom.
I was way short on sleep and had my days planned out in 15 min increments from 4:30am to 10pm at night.
My doctor was joking with me how I needed to be more organized when I almost bit her head off asking how I could do that since I already had.
I ended up on Zoloft for 6 months and it really helped me straighten myself out.
After 2 weeks it felt like the hair on the back of my neck could stop standing on end all time.
I could relax, get more sleep and let some things go.
I had no issues or recurrence of issues when I was finished with taking it when the 6 months was finished.
My brain chemistry was just stuck in a rut for a while and the medication helped me get back to normal.

If you can try to find someone to speak with that specailizes working with people with PPD and past depression/anxiety disorders. Also try to keep an open mind with regards to treatment, there is yoga, meditation, etc that would help you relax without medication. I used to be against medication however I take a very low dosage of medication on a daily basis. This has made all the difference in the world with my relatinoship with my husband and son. I am expecting a baby in the next couple of weeks and have been working with my therapist to tackle any PPD issues head on this time (also have been going to prenatal yoga). Of course I know there is going to be struggles but with the right mix of support from loved ones/theraplist, medicatins, and yoga/exercise I think it is going to be easier to tackle any depression, PPD, anxiety issues.

Make sure the doctors figure out what this is. Don't let them just pass it off as anxiety. Also, take the antidepressant. No need to be scared, it's not forever. You really need it; you need a mental break from feeling bad.

And be sure to get exercise.

Things will get better. Hugs and good luck.

What have you tried as far as diet changes? A family member of ours has IBS and had to cut out all grains and eat a paleo style diet and her symptoms all went away. I just found out that I can't eat soy or I get the stomach symptoms you describe. Also, I recently cut out all caffeine and sugar (grains aside from rice cut out too) and my anxiety was nonexistent. I have added limited caffeine back in, and am still so calm and relaxed when I'd normally be a mess. For me, I'm convinced it is tied to the sugar. Please try a diet shift before starting meds. I've been on antidepressants and they were helpful at the time, but had I known I could get even better results from a better diet...I would have done it in a heartbeat. The antidepressants had side effects. An elimination diet where you are strict about only eating veggies, chicken, fish, eggs and non-peanut nuts and seeds is a good way to start. I don't think people realize that a majority of their serotonin is manufactured in their gut. What you eat will have a direct effect on your mood, energy and focus.

Ditto all the great advice below....

I want you to think about when you learned to drive. When you took drivers ed? Were you nervous? Did practicing driving improve your skills? Do you drive with confidence now? And do you drive with out being nervous anymore?

You have been through a big change in your life. The first 3 years of a child's life are nothing but constant change. So please be a little kinder on yourself. Give yourself some time to figure things out, to learn new ways to cope and adapt and mother and role model. It doesn't happen with the wave of a magic wand.

Take each day at a time.

Start with the BRAT diet...Bananas, Rice Applesauce and Tea. Eliminate most foods to calm your tummy and then slowly reintroduce bland foods: chicken, oatmeal, fish, as your tummy starts to improve. Keep track if you can, mentally, on your phone what foods sit well, which ones don't.

Take a good Pre-Natal vitamin.

Sleep lots, sleep extra, practice good self care and hygiene at night so you sleep soundly.

Get outside every day with your little one...15 minutes anywhere that calms you, and restores you.

Do some gentle stretching every day. Think of the gentle stretching as a time to love on yourself.

Google positive affirmations, happy thoughts and read uplifting quotes.

Pray. Meditate. It takes times to retrain one's thoughts, just like it took time to learn to drive. You can overcome negativity, but it takes daily commitment.

St. John's is natural. Give it try. See how you feel after a few days.

Drink some caffeine early in they day to help lift your mood, and focus your thoughts.

Your little boy is looking up to you. Be there for him. Plan your day with something that will make him happy. You're the only mommy he has.

Sounds like you could be describing me in the right circumstances! Been there, done that. I have a history of digestive issues that I have learned to manage nicely...but mine were diagnosed at age 11 so I've figured out a lot over the last 45 years.....Probiotics are great but this doesn't sound bacteria. It sounds like pure stress with your history of IBS. I understand that getting rid of stress is stressful in and of itself, lol. BUT!!! Stress has a hard time breaking down your system if your body is getting the right nutrition. Most prenatals are worthless. There are only a few vitamins on the market that are worth taking but you need to be on an absorbable one. I take one guaranteed to absorb that doesn't cause free radical activity. Once your nutrition is balanced then the stress level will come down. In the meantime megadoses Vitamin A will stop the rumblings and keep it from getting worse, eventually healing everything. There are dangers of taking too much vitamin A but only over the long term. I take it when I suspect something is starting......make sure it is water-dispersable.....

As far as the anxiety, St. John's wart is not a bad option. Adrenal Health by Gaja is also an option because sometimes that is an issue. Also GABA helps too. If you want to go the natural route, which is my preference as well, the vitamin first to see how it improves along with the extra A, then I would try the GABA next, then the Adrenal Health, then the St Johns Wart if the others don't work well enough. None of these are going to hurt you and antidepressants are long term because once you start them, you can't just stop them. Also, one of the primary side effects of antidepressants are tendencies toward suicide.....read the inserts on the web....

I know you just wanted a listening ear...and I did listen but there are things you can do that can stop this.

PM me if you want more specifics. Like I said...been there, done that, and hate to see other things go through it!

Regards,
M.

Hi hon,
Just praying for you. You are not alone.
You will figure this out with help.
All my best.

Hi there, are you getting out of the house and getting a little exercise in? If you find that you can't, force yourself. The light of day will help a wee bit. Hopefully everyday will get better. You can start by sitting on the porch, listening the morning birds chirp (if they are still in Chicago this time of year), watering the plants, doing a little yard work, and eventually, strolling the neighborhood.

When is the last time you did something for you? Do you enjoy a mani or pedi, or getting a haircut? Go do it.

I don't enjoy the mani and pedi's, but I love the new look of a haircut.

Best wishes. I hope you feel better.

You are not alone. A lot of people can relate to what you describe. I'm positive of it. Sending you a virtual hug (((((((()))))))))). I know how hard it can be.

There are some natural alternatives to anti-depressants. Talk to your MD about what is out there. St. John's Wort is not the only one. I've taken magnesium before which has helped to ease anxiety and to relax my system. But, before you take anything, make sure that it's appropriate for your body.

Sometimes our brains don't produce enough of certain chemicals (serotonin) and we need some extra help with that. In my humble opinion, it's ok to go on medication if the benefit outweighs the cost. It isn't forever. It can be temporary, but can definitely help get you to a better place.

In the meantime, connect with friends, take walks, exercise, see a therapist. You are doing all of the right things.

Take care of yourself and feel free to PM if you want to chat more.

Have you looked into using essential oils to help minimize symptoms ? If you are more on the holistic an natural side, I would recommend using oils to help. I have always suffered from anxiety , as well as IBS. I use. Mix of lavender and other oils in a blend. I apply whenever , and have noticed great results these past two months. My Doctor was at the point of putting me on something for my anxiety, and now with using oils, I feel much better. I have found a site called DoTerra online, and have ordered from there, but you can make your own blend much cheaper just buying it at health stores in your area. Just a thought. I've also started taking Spirulina capsules, and have notice a dramatic change in my energy as well as stomach issues.

I'm glad you also have made a step to seeing a therapist. It always help to have an outside person to talk with about issues. I hope things get better for you. I certainly understand what you are goin through.

Didn't see you mention anything about taking a probiotic, and they are natural. Natren Probiotic and Florastor Probiotic are the two best known. In 2003, I was going through a 2-1/2 year divorce, and was having terrible stomach pains--thought I had an ulcer! Took probiotics, and in a short time, everything was normal. You should give it a try, before taking drugs.

I have been in a very similar situation. Along with the help of a doctor, I could tell you what is useful to me when My mind goes through those episodes. A good friend told me this. He is a smart wise older man, who was my mission president when I served as a mormon missionary in colombia. He told me among all things that
I must see myself as a strong woman everyday,
I should NOT see myself as a ill woman, never
I should think that this crisis will pass,
To give myself in prayer to God
To forgive and not keep any resentment towards anybody for wronging me.
to make peace with someone who I need it with
to repent of any wrong thing I may have ever done
Feel grateful for what I have, even for the illness cause it would help me to develop character
To never allow fear come to me, NEVER, for fear is the enemy of God and is used by satan to overcome us and make us loose focus and faith
To read D&C 76:60 ( i know you may not be a mormon so this is what the quote reads) and "They shall overcome all things"
you can overcome this crisis..have faith and be positive, Do not let fear overcome you and treat the fear " anxiety" as you will treat the worst drug, stay away of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!