Step-child Discipline

This is a very difficult situation to be in. You can avoid the "whatever, I don't remember" response by writing down a behavior contract which he, you, and your husband sign. He agrees to the rules of the house. In return, you agree to give him something he wants - TV or computer time, choice of dinner one night a week, a favorite activity. He loses privileges as he misbehaves. Negotiate, and give on the minor issues. Don't get upset; just calmly enforce the rules. Tell him how he behaves at his mother's is between her and him, but you are responsible for how he behaves under your watch, that you want the best for him. Build relationship, and try to get past the "evil side." This is a little kid whose mom is acting like a two-year-old. Try to rise above that.

Since you and your husband agree but he is not around much your next best is his family. Before you get with them, communicate with them what you and your husband are trying to do and what you are up against and request that they assist in your efforts of make this child easy to be around. If a grand-parent, aunt or uncle will correct/chastise him when he acts up maybe he will get the message that what he's doing is not acceptable.

You do have a situation on your hands - not only a step-son but a boy going into puberty.

The only advice I am able to give is to make sure your husbands family is on board with the discipline and respect factors. If you are around them and they support the decisions made within your home and family unit it may help.

Good luck.

I agree with Debra. Discuss what behavior is exceptable and expected and then write it all out in a contract and have him sign it so that he knows he is accountable. Also, be sure to give lots of reminders. It's going to be hard for him since he is not used to having rules, being respectful, etc. Also, I would most definitely work off a reward system that rewards him on a regular basis like every day: computer time, tv time, extra dessert, favorite soda drink, whatever you think he would work for. You might even ask him what rewards he would like for cooperating. Also, be sure to give him positive comments when he is doing well to show your appreciation. Positive reinforcements is MUCH more effective than negative so stay as positive and loving as possible. Prove his mother wrong. Good luck!!