Stay in the Big City or Quit My Job and Move to a Slower Pace of Life?

When my children were young, we moved to Show Low and then Snowflake, Az. I think it was great for the kids. We had acreage, horses, and dogs. There was so much for the kids to do outside. When they were teens, we moved back to the city due to my Mom's illness. They were happy to be back in the city, but I think city is not real healthy for kids. If you live in the city, you need to be a very involved parent to keep them out of trouble. Good luck!

the joneses live in the bunnies too.
yes, i did quit my job, left huge exciting life and career for the quietness and quality of a small place (in our case, small places).
i don't think my kids get anything more than they would have gotten if i had stayed put. but they do have to live with a lot of ignorant people, the dull life that a slower pace place has. i don't know about the place you're looking into moving but make sure you will be at peace with quitting your job and moving away for the sake of the kids. kids are happy when mom is happy. mom needs to be sure she is happy before and after she makes the move otherwise it will be difficult for all of you.
so per my experience, i regret the move.

I made both of those decision. I was an IT professional in the military and once I could get out, my husband and I decided that we would make the financial sacrifices in order to give a happy and wholesome childhood to our children (my oldest was 5 at the time and I was prego with #2). So I didn't seek a civilian job, although I probably could have commanded a six-figure income with the skills and training I had. He got out of the military too and went to work for the govt. as a civilian making pretty good money, so we're comfortable and rarely strapped for cash if we budget carefully. I'm a SAHM now and I homeschool too. We bought a house in a small, rural town in VA and my hubby commutes to work in DC every day. We have a half-hour drive to just about anything, our town doesn't even have a Wal-Mart, but you get used to that and it's gets easier if you're good at planning. The commute is a pain, but he's willing to put up with it, and I'm willing to put up with tight budgeting in order to give this life to our children. They are happy, healthy, well-educated and morally responsible (proportionate to age of course). Our home is on a large lot in a planned development out in the country (we have a view of a lake and a cow pasture! lol!) where we are surrounded by nature and by friends at the same time. I personally feel that it is so important for moms to be there with their kids, so I made my decision based on that primarily.

I couldn't be happier with the decision I made. I feel that I didn't have children just to hand them over to strangers for raising. I would have quit working when my first was born if I didn't have a military contract to complete. I also feel that the city is no place to raise children, but that's probably because I was raised in a medium sized suburb and have never liked the city.

I made this decision myself in 2007 :) I was self-employed with 3 offices around the Twin Cities (MN) and living right outside the Twin Cities. I made good money, but was away from my kids alot - I had to, there were alot of expenses associated with living that close to the city. In 2007, I just decided, out of the clear blue (really!), to move to Southern MN. I was sick of my kids being around the whole "keeping up with the Jones" thing! Every kid on our block over the age of 5 had their own cell phone (not knocking that, just wasn't my speed), and the high school kids drove to school in Lexus and Beemers (not kidding!). Median home prices where I was living was approached $500,000 - median home prices where I moved to about $75,000. I knew it would be tough, but somehow I knew I was making the right decision. I drove down here and looked at 4 homes (none of them over $50k), picked one, wrote a check for the entire thing and went back to the cities and told everyone that I was moving. I waited almost a year to make the actual move - I purchased the house in October and had one kid graduating that spring and wanted all the kids to finish out the school year where we were. Plus, I needed time to close down my offices and I did some renovations to the home before moving in.

Moving here was the best decision I ever made! I work from home now (I didn't plan that, I was able to keep 3 clients) and I walk my kids to and from school every day. We live in a town of 3500 people, but we have nearly everything I could want within walking distance - pool, post office, grocery store, Wal-Mart (very tiny one), pharmacy (even open on Sundays), tanning, hair salons, schools, hardware store, etc. I am ALWAYS here when my kids leave for and come home from school. It is tight some months, but I own my home free and clear and have no credit card debt now. I was most worried about the level of services my 2 special needs kids would get in such a small town - surprisingly, it is outstanding! We do have two larger towns, both just under an hour away, but honestly get most of what we need done right here in town and on-line shopping is only a click away for what isn't available. My kids participate in just about every sport under the sun and only occasionally have to drive to one of the bigger towns to play (home field is here but towns are more spread out so we have to sometimes travel for games). In addition to me being home all the time with the kids, we live in a place where the kids can come home when the street lights come on :)

You need to do what is best for you and your family, but I just wanted to share with you that it is possible :)

Good luck!

I notice you're not getting any really local responses. Goodyear is not a small town away from the "big city". It's a suburb of Phoenix, full of people who work in Phoenix and go to Phoenix all the time. My cousins live further out that that, and their area is completely developed and looks far more like suburbia, everything's identical, "keep up with the Jones" land than anything that's close to the children's museum and the science center. House values are probably great, but that's because they've fallen by half. If you're close to family now, you'll still be close enough to drive to see them all the time, except now it will take another 45 minutes (a similar fact has driven two of my friends to rethink moves). I would think about what you think you're getting and what kind of a contrast it will really be.

Hi JF,

I pray all is well with you today!

Go for it, change is good and nothing is set in stone!

I agree with the others, if you're going to move do it now while the kids are young. I moved from Florida to North Carolina 4 years ago and do not regret it! I wanted my children (then 15, 10, 5yrs) to grow up in a different environment, however my husband and I both worked full-time jobs and lived above our means. The only way for us to do this was to sale our home and move to a more "rural" area. We had to send our 15yr back in the middle of 10th grade because she was not adjusting well....she missed her boyfirend but she came back when school was out because he had moved on.... I have a Master's degree and walked away from a VERY good income to become a stay at home mom. It was difficult for me at first because I had worked since I was 16. As time went on (about 8 months), I started to enjoy it. I would do it over again......I wouldn't trade in getting up every morning seeing them off to school, being home in the afternoon when they come home (my son just walked in....), going to lunch (leftovers from dinner) with my husband, going to lunch with the kids, volunteering at school. I will homeschool my 5th & 9th grader next year, I could not do this in Florida or working fulltime. We do have to cut corners, we do alot of free stuff - museums, parks, movies, etc. My children particpants in cub scouts, sporting events, cheerleading (some offer scholarships). My husband and I have date night on the cheap...it keeps us creative. I work from home parttime(Ardyss International), however I wouldn't go back to two fulltime incomes. It has truly helped us live happily within our means. Our kids were upset at first when they had to "earn" and "save" for what they want instead of us just buying. But they got over it....We as a society can truly live off less!

May God bless whatever decision you make!

If you are going to move, I would do it sooner, rather than later. It would be easier on the kids. I don't know what I would do if I had it to do over. I am a divorced mom of 3 living in a small town. My income is alot less and I struggle financially, but the trade off of moving to a city scared me. I would make 3-4 times as much, but cost of living is more, and raising kids in a city scares me. Here, I know everyone, and I feel safer. One the flip side, there is more to do and conveniences in a city.

I think if you want to move, then now if the time. The kids are still young. It will be alot harder once they get older and have established more friendships.

I have been unemployed and away from a decent income for 18months now. I am looking to go back to work, however I would now prefer just a p/t job. I say go for it, you could always go back to work in a p/t capacity if the money gets to tight.

Life is to short to not enjoy it to the fullest.

We live in a small town and Ihave to say , as someone who was a total city girl, I love it. I didn't think I would, but it's fantastic. I find myself watching cop dramas and thinking " oh thank goodness that wouldn't happen here". Also the pace is just so nice. You go into the library( the only library) and the clerks all know you and your child and offer recommendations or help. When you go to a restaurant( one of 4) there are always friendly faces and people who know you. It's really nice. I have to say I'd go for it. Especially if it meant you could stay home

Tough decisions to make! I can only say that I've been a single mom working several jobs for many years, and now I"m a married stay at home Mom. I am blessed to be home with my youngest. My oldest did not get the benefit of having me home. In the blink of an eye, they are grown and gone. I only wish I could have been home with the first one. Life is short!
Good luck making your decision. Either way, you're kids will be fine, you'll make sure of that!

Hello!

Your children will learn from you. They will mirror you. If you feel the need to keep up with the Jones' then they will.

If you live within your means and show your children HOW to live within your means - they will. It doesn't matter WHERE you raise your children - it is HOW you raise your children.

I did walk away from a good job to raise my kids - I DO NOT regret my decision. We were NOT affected by this decision because all along we had planned on MY being a SAHM - my income was slush fund.

I clip coupons. I make meals and plan ahead. You can do this too. It's not where you live. You can do this in the city or in the 'burbs.

Make a list of pros and cons for YOUR FAMILY - not what extended family or friends think. THIS HAS TO WORK FOR YOU!! No one can make this decision for you. You need to find out what you want and what works for you.

I moved from Southern CA to a very rural area in Northern CA. I went from a full time working mom to a stay at home mom. It was hard at first to adjust to the new life, but I have no regrets. I have raised my child and spend tons of time with him. I just went back to LA to visit friends and was exhausted after a week. I have a much slower, easier life. If your children will benefit from the move, and you will enjoy your life more - MOVE!

Before having kids, my husband and I lived in Los Angeles. Not long before our son was born, we moved to Las Vegas because it was more family friendly and felt that you didn't necessarily have to be a 2-income family in order to live there. I do love LA and will always be an Angeleno at heart but realize that there is no way that my husband and I would be able to raise a healthy and happy family there unless we made a lot of money. Las Vegas doesn't have quite as much culture but it is more easier to live here. We do have to contend with the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality here also I'm hoping that I will be able to influence my children to celebrate their individuality rather than follow the masses (wish me luck).

Honestly, I never planned on being a SAHM because I did have a good career prior to having children but that's just how it worked out and, now that I am doing it, I realize how hard it is and just how important and worthwhile it is. We still have to cut corners and we don't have a lot of flexible income but I think it is like that for a lot of parents out there.

As for the 45-minute drive that you may have to face to participate in activities, being from LA where my daily 11-mile commute into work took me 45-minutes on a good day, I really don't think driving 45 minutes to get somewhere is all that big of a deal, but that's just me.

Hope this helps.

I used to teach and live in a big city, and now we live on a small farm, but I still teach in a city, so I sort of made that decision. My work life didn't change, but my home life, and the way my children are growing up changed dramatically. We do have to drive 30-45 minutes to go to museums, zoos, or other things like that, but it is quite worth it for us. I love the peace and quiet, and my children also love it. Some people love the big city, but small town life suits us. Good luck making your decision!

My husband and I decided to move from our small community to a huge community (MT to San Jose, CA) and regret the move almost every day. We are now looking to move to a smaller place that suits our lifestyle better. We can't go back to MT without a decent job so we are actually looking at going to AZ.

The younger the kids are, the easier it is for them to adapt to their new surroundings. Remember, what they never had, they can't miss. They will grow up not knowing that they are missing lots of museums/science centers/etc. But they will know that Mommy is a lot happier. And like the old song goes, if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Do what's right for your family.

And yeah, the grass is always greener on the other side. Right now you're thinking of all the great possibilities but once you do move, you will remember what you gave up. So it can feel like a no-win situation. Good luck.