My 4 year old son Alex is very shy and not very outgoing. However in the last few months he has made a strong friendship with another boy at daycare. They are glued to each other all day and Alex gets upset if his friend isn't at school for whatever reason. My husband and I recently found out that the friend's family is withdrawing him from this daycare and he will be going to another (I don't know why or even if they are moving). What can we do to make this transition easier for Alex? The family has NOT been interested in getting the kids together for a playdate before so I doubt that will change.
Have you ever invited the other boy to play at your house? Or asking the mother to go out to a park, movies, pizza. etc. Sometimes it's up to us to make the first move. Maybe the other mother is shy or has a lot of things on her life right now. Good luck
My son had that happen in kindergarten his friend moved and we shared our number but they never got in contact with us. The best advise I can give is be understanding it will pass but he will hurt a lot. I was more understanding and patient with his feelings and asked his teacher to be as well and she was. I took him to do extra things like the park or something he felt was fun. I also got the teacher to help him buddy with a new friend he did but it was never the same for him.
Sadly, it seems that you are just gonna have to watch and cry with him. I would catch the mom (usually a lil more understanding than dads...) and tell her about how close they are and that you just don't want your son to suffer on account of conflicting schedules and you wanted to know if its true at all?!
Then..I would try to let him see his friend as much as possible. This will probably be one of his first memories. All you have to do is hold his hand, he'll be ok.
Make sure you get him into a sport of some kind. This way he'll make friends (& enemies, so to speak...lol) in his group. He will be MUCH better off learning how to communicate with his friends after he joins a group that ALL have one thing in common right off the bat.
GOOD LUCK!! Alex sounds like a really sweet, great kid. Where do you live? in sc? if you don't mind me asking?
~~Nicole
This may sound really corny, however, you can have a "meeting" with this other child's family to let them know how your son's frienship may be affected by the move. There may be a chance that you could still keep in touch with each other for the children's sake. It doesn't have to be immediate disconnection. You can also make it fun and exchange addresses and have the children send each other hellos and how u doing via sending each other letters and cards.
Just some things I would try.....
Hi A.,
So sorry, I know how that is. Give him as much time and as many "special opportunites" together as possible. As a parent you will wish you waited and just gave him a few days, but trust me, he needs several weeks if you have it. Take time to have a special lunch a few times with the two boys if you can. Ask the daycare to work with you to plan short "before going home" games that honors the little boy on a couple of occasions. Have Alex bake special cookies and take one to school for his friend. Just keep it at the forefront for him so he can adjust. It will go along way at preparing your son, and who knows maybe it will not only help the other little boy adjust too, but get the parents to realize the need for the continued relationship - if possible.
J.
