Sleep Training - Ahoskie,NC

If you do not want opinions from both sides of the fence then you should not post on an open forum like this. You should reconsider CIO it really is an awful way to go for the child. When your 5 moth old cries it is because he needs you. For more information on why you should not use CIO you can visit www.drsears.org you can also read The no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. If you are set on letting your 5 month old infant CIO then Godspeed to your little one.

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A.,

If you thought this was the best choice for your son, then why would you be opposed to hearing suggestions from everyone?

You see, when I read your question, all I could 'hear' was that this is all about YOU and what is best for you and when will it get better for YOU. Especially since you do not want to hear from anyone who does not agree with YOUr choice to allow your son to cry when he needs you.

Having children is not easy A.. It is a big responsibility and commitment. They cry and poop and pee and spit up at the most inconvenient times. Schedules are great and I love them but allowing your son to cry just because you want to _____ (whatever your reason) just seems cruel and selfish.

Could it be that you don't want to hear from us because we may help you listen to your heart and help you to change your mind? It's worth you being mad at me to at least try.

I want to encourage you to rethink this decision through again. Is it really what is best for your son? Please enjoy him with all of your heart Ashely. Before you know it, he will be grown up, driving and dating etc. All you will have of his baby years are the memories. Be sure they are ones that you want to remember.

Take Care,
N.

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I just wanted to encourage you that letting your baby cio isn't terrible, selfish, or bad. We allowed our son to cio when he was 3 months old, and it was the hardest thing we've ever done! We decided to do it because we know our son, and knew it was what he needed. I'm sure you have tried other things and know what will work for your son and your family. Anyone who tries to say you're doing something wrong with your son needs to consider the fact that they don't know you, your husband, or your son so they have no right or place to judge you and your decision. I'm not a hostile or confrontational person, but it really made me mad how other commenters are judging you. Please ignore them, and do what you believe is best for your family.

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LOL... aren't you glad that everyone is respecting your decision and not talking to you about your decision but just about your method? JEEZ! We have a serious problem with a lack of respect for other people in our country. You have made a decision that MANY doctors respect and which is right for your child. It just so happens that I made the same one, but that doesn't mean that if I didn't your opinion doesn't deserve to be respected. I'm sorry that people are doing the opposite of what you have asked. ---- Anyway, I also taught my son healthy sleep habits and self soothing so that he had no sleep associations and that BOTH of us could get better and more continuous rest at night. I agree with the people that have said that schedules change, try earlier and it may be teeth or a growth spurt. The bad news is every time you've got it figured out and your little man sleeps through the night for a week or 2 something else will come along, you'll struggle through it and then have to do a little mini form of sleep training. Mine will be 2 in March, and after a vacation or an illness we still have to remind him with a little version of sleep training. We started with Kyle when he was 4 months old, (Dr. Ferber said 4 months is acceptable) however he still needed to be fed once in the night for the first week or two, so we fed him made sure he was awake and put him down just like at night. I truly believe that what you're doing will be rewarding and will improve your son's mental development which sleep is very important to. For now I would just say stick it out. Good luck and God bless, this too shall pass!!! **** Dr. Ferber's book "Solving your childs sleep problems" was very helpful. I got it at the library.

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I let my third child cry it out at night sometimes. He would sleep perfectly some nights, and not so well the other nights. It totally depended on the kind of day he had, if he was hungry, if he was teething, etc...just like us, their sleep will depend on how well rested they are before they go down to. Don't give up though. If you are set on this working for you, just comfort him and keep at it :).

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I totally have to agree with Norma's post. My question is: Why is it so important that he sleep through the night at 5 1/2 months?

I'm not sure why we are in such a hurry that our children sleep through the night.

I would really reconsider and read some of Dr. Sears stuff. I know you didn't want to hear from us on the other side, but I feel VERY strongly that CIO is cruel and totally unnatural.

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Some people forget that if you are doing cry it out, you still are supposed to be there to comfort them every 10 or so minutes (patting their back, letting them know you are still there, but not picking them up.) I would guess this is especially important when they wake in the middle of the night and may get hysterical.

Are you sure he isn't hungry? Some kids at that age still need a snack once a night. How about a pacifier or something to comfort him? Teeth could be an issue too. I get that you want him to fall asleep on his own at bedtime, but I would consider being a bit more sympathetic to his middle of the night needs- babies that age go through a lot of changes.

Good luck.

Good luck.

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A., I wanted to offer you support and wish you luck. My son is now a happy 22 month old. When he was 6 months old he was waking every 2 hours to nurse. I was miserable and flirting with depression. My ped suggested that I not rush to him for every whimper that he makes. It was a hard decision to make for me, so I completely support you. It took my little one 2 weeks to get to sleep on his own consistently. At the time, he would sleep 7p - 7a with a nursing session around 2am. THe middle of the night feeding lasting until about 10 months. I noticed a great improvement in the first week. The first few days his crying lasted about 45 minutes. It did get better, maybe to like 10 minutes. I do remember there being a regression in the second week. This did not catch me by surprise because I has read the book Health Sleep Habits Happy Child. That book has been a sleep bible for me and I highly recommend it.
I have to disagree with a previous poster that you "have" to check in with the child periodically. My son's tempermant would not have allowed that. He would have become frantic if I did that. When he cried, it helped me to tell myself that going into his room would do nothing besides get him wound up all over again. During the teething stages, I gave him motrin before bedtime. If he roused 6-8 hours later, I gave him the benefit of the doubt that something was wrong and went to him.
Good luck to you. Trust your insticts!!

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I'm also an anti-CIO but won't go there with you ... other than to say that even CIO experts don't recommend it until 6 months.

I'd like to add that I think it's funny that so many (usually first timers) are so concerned with babies sleeping through. You signed up for more than you're expecting, I think. Children will wake up at night for about anything well past baby stage. They have bad dreams, fall out of bed, wet the bed, need water, have coughing fits, throw up, the cat wakes them up, etc etc etc.

So sleeping through the night just doesn't exist anymore. Welcome to parenthood!

Christine... my point was that the 'many doctors' that respect this method don't recommend it until 6 months of age. I actually know of NONE that will recommend it BEFORE 6 months... JEEZ!

I respected her decision by telling her when is appropriate to institute this method (even though I personally don't respect it)

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I haven't read all the other answers, but then again I know that every mom thinks different when it comes to bedtime routine and how to do it.
Has it ever occured to yoiu, that your son might be hungry? He is still growing a lot at 5 1/2 months and hunger used to wake up my little one every night even after I weaned him.
Hope that helps!

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Might want to verify that he doesn't have an ear infection or some other latent illness. I went through pretty much the same scenario with my daughter around that age and it turned out she was waking up because of the ear infection (she didn't have other symptoms like a runny nose or coughing).

As an FYI, I think the method works wonderfully until something messes up their sleep schedule (illness, travel, developmental milestone, etc.). So, good luck with your progression. I will let you know however that my daughter still gets up about 2 times per night (she's over a year now). I blame my husband though - inconsistency kills the program. Good luck again!

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I'm just gonna say it's very normal for a child that young to wake up thru the night. I hope you are not letting your child cry for 30 mins. or more without loving on him. The DRS. say no more than 10-15mins. of crying at a time. Even at that age they still eat every two to three hrs. Are you just not wanting to get up with him thru the night? If so, that is part of being a mom is having to get up thru the night all the time. Most babies don't sleep thru the night the first year. Good Luck
S.H.

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Hi A.! Oooh sleep training is so hard and emotional, it brings out the "i know best" in everyone :) Anyhoo, here's my two cents. I did this with my daughter when she was about the same age as your son, and it took about 3 weeks for it to work, and since then we have not had any problems whatsoever (she is now 16 months). I kind of made up my own "rules" so to speak for her evening schedule, stuck to it, and as hard as it was, i just made myself not waver from it. My daughter figured out what was going on after about 4 nights, and for the next 10 or so it was really just making the message stick.
here's what i did:
5pm: dinner
5:30 bath
6pm: play quietly in her room, read a book
6:45: bedtime! (i know it's early, i moved it up from 7:30, and that extra 45 min made a HUGE difference. a lot of times when babies wake up a lot at night, it's bc they are just too tired, and they can't settle themselves long enough to sleep. it's weird, but it's TRUE. 8:30 might be too late for your little one to go to bed.)
- she would normally sleep for about 4 hours, and then wake up every few hours after that, when she went through a sleep cycle and coudln't resettle.
-i'd let her cry about 10-15 min, then go in, settle her down, cover her with kisses, and leave. i tried not to talk at all. I don't have anything against crying, but I wanted her to learn that yes, mommy will check on you, but that's it.
-if she was still crying, or started again, i'd let her go 20 min before going in. etc.
-I also started giving her a lovey and a pacifier (i know i know pacifiers are bad etc etc etc whatever, they work) at night, and that made a big difference right away. i'd sing her a song while she held her lovey and sucked on her paci, and tried to show her that when mommy isn't here, these things can help you. She now loves that lovey, and we use it and pacifier only for bedtime.
-i was nursing at the time, and i don't know if you are still nursing or bottlefeeding at night, but i cut that out at this time also (on the advice of my pediatrician, my daughter was at a very healthy size) and fed her a little extra at dinner.
-i learned that every night was going to be different, some were bigger fights than others, but I just held firm and stuck to my "rules". extended periods of crying didn't make a difference to my daughter, so I gave in and realized that she just needed to know that i was there, she was okay, and she could learn to do this. She definitely had nights where she regressed, and it got worse before it gets better.

Like i said, it took about 2-3 weeks to get the routine down and for her to sleep through the night. Babies that age should be sleeping about 12 hours each night. Any less than that and they are sleep-deprived and actually sleep worse (unlike adults). Try moving his bedtime earlier and stay consistent, and you'll be okay.

teething may also be a problem- Motrin helped a LOT for that. :)

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I just wanted to say DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR FIRST POSTER! I did a type of cio with both kids and it worked. It worked and, like with all things, as long as a parent doesn't use it in an abusive way it's all good. I was one who definitely could not have gone the better part of a year with little to no sleep!

Also, I wish someone would have told me that in the first 6 months or so babies' routines and schedules change SO much. Like another poster said, there are set backs mixed in there with the good nights. That doesn't mean your routine isn't working, so you have to play a little detective and see what other factors may have caused the disruption (bad day, teething, growth spurt, illness, etc.). No one ever told me those things, and I eventually figured it out, but I completely stressed myself out with my first daughter! I was much more relaxed with my second with this issue.

Hang in there!

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Hi A.~

I used the Ferber method on my boys as well. I would only suggest that your guy may still be a little young for this. If I remember correctly, he suggests starting at 6 months old. I might be wrong. check it out. Now I'm thinking it might be 4 months... shoot! I can't remember.

My best advice is to do the same thing when he wakes up in the night as you do when you put him to bed. Patience and perserverance. Of course, if he's not feeling well, all bets are off. I always had to start over after they were well again. It will get better. Hang in there.

Hi A.,
Sort of in the same boat as you, but I was dealing with a 12 month old who is now 13 months. I breastfeed my dd and so she would always wake up during the night, about 5-6 times at it's worst to nurse/pacify. I finally had to put an end to it, not only was I sleep deprived but also 15 weeks pg. I did cio with her. I had to do it, there was no other solution. I still nurse her to sleep which i will try to start weaning her from that soon, but when she falls asleep, I put her in her crib and leave her room. In the beginning, she would cry herself to sleep, about 20 minutes. She would wake up once or twice through out the night and cry for a few minutes and then go back to sleep. Fast forward to today, I lay her down in her crib and she continues to sleep, she'll wake up maybe once and cry for less than a minute and fall back to sleep. I'm loving it! I am getting the sleep that I've missed out on for the past year! She usually goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up between 6:30 and 7am. I suppose I don't have any advice for you and your lo, just my experience on getting my dd to sleep through the night. I just want to say that cry it out is working for us and if you feel it can work for you, stick with it, it will get better. Good Luck!

Are you sure your son isn't starting to teeth? He might be in discomfort.

Hi, I'm a mom of 2 boys, one who is 2.4 months and a 6 month old. We've been through the crying out with my older son and have used a modified version for our youngest.

A couple of resources helped me understand sleep cycles better : Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and Sleeping Through the Night by Dr. Jodi Mindell (writes in for Parents Magazine).

My husband and I struggled with cry out or not.... Tough decision but we felt informed after reading more about sleep cycles and understanding the role of sleep in overall health and development.

Best advice I can offer, find one way and be consistent and attend to the needs of your child's temperament to make adjustments along the way! It does get better and the temperament of your child and your consistency are big factors. Our son is very unsettled by changes to his sleep routine and does not recover quickly after family trips with different sleep times or sleeping situations (i.e. sleeping with mom and dad on vacation and then back to his bed afterwards...)

Bottom line, your child is unique and the timeline for better sleep may take more time or less than other kids. (Our son took several weeks, our youngest seems to be doing find in a much shorter time.)

Sleep well!

I know this is a little late, and I'm not sure if everything may be better now, but I thought posting wouldn't hurt. My daughter just refused to sleep until I started making her take a morning nap. She still doesn't sleep the whole night, but she's doing much better (she's 10 1/2mo). I'm not sure when we started this-I think it was only a month ago. I let her cry it out for her morning nap and afternoon one for 30 mins, usually she's asleep before then. If not, I'll give her a bottle or nurse her and she goes right to sleep. It helped her night schedule, and we do the same thing for that (which we had been doing for a while before without it getting better). You didnt' mention anything during the day, so I don't know hoe your baby does then, but I know my Lil didn't sleep well at any time: I really had to figure out the best nap times for her and then that helped. Hope you've gotten some good responses that will help. Good luck!

It will get better just hang in there and stick to the new routine. He will learn to go to sleep by himself. My daughter did and I am sure you little guy will too. However there will be times where he will cry longer like when the teeth come in or he is sick but then it is important to stick to the CIO method so all the progress isn't lost. You are doing fine.

Is your baby sick?

I am not a practitioner of CIO, but I have worked on night weaning my daughter. When she has had setbacks in her nightweaning, she was sick.

I don't know if you have introduced solids yet, but you should consider gas pains as a possible source of nighttime discomfort.

hi,

i agree with the weissbluth book- not organized very well- but all the info is in there. i say that because i found the book kind of difficult to read, yet the info is all good. i did cio too, and my son, now 10 and half moths is a good sleeper- naps and at night. you didn't mention naps in your post, and that is a huge factor. also, his bedtime seems late to me. it seems like the later you put them down, the later they'll sleep in the morning, but i haven't found that to be true at all. go early on the bedtimes. another poster said it as well, but 5.5 mos might be too early. i tried it around then and found he wasn't ready- i know because he'd wake, eatand then i'd put him right back- he wasn't waking to play or anything, and alwasywent right back to sleep.... being breastfed and no solids/ceral might have been a facotr there, but my son wasn't ready to go all thru the night til solids and a little older- i think it was about 8.5 mos. (but we only had one middle of nite feeding for a while.) anyway, if you want to talk about it anymore, feel free to message me. it's sometimes hard to find someone to talk to who's not judging you. good luck.
jen

A.,
that is the exact same age that I did the sleep training. I used a program called the Sleep Sense Program and had great results...plus it has info for older ages/naps etc. if you want you can email me and I can send you the program. It even has a workbook which I found very useful and it's now fun to look back and cringe and laugh at all the hard work we did! I am proud to say that my daughter is now 20 months old and sleeping in a big girl bed 12 hours a night and has some really GREAT habits and can put herself back to sleep! Peace at last!
____@____.com

Every family and child is different. If you've chosen cry it out, there's a reason and stick with it! We did a strict cry it out with our daughter (not as strict with our son--a different kind of kid!). It took a couple of weeks to really sort things out with her, so stick with it! It was hard at first, but the benefits for our family were great. My daughter went from an infant who rarely got as much sleep as she needed before we started cry it out to a baby and child (now 3 years old) who is very well rested.

I don't know if you've read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," but I found it to be a very helpful book for both of my children, even though they were both very different sleepers.

Hang in there. . .you're going to make it!
B.

You might seriously consider that he is having that 6 month growth spurt. He may just be hungry! Try feeding him at night and see what happens. If he takes a full feeding that night, the next day add an ounce to each of his bottles, or if you are nursing, just go with it until your body catches up with him. It also may be the time to start solid foods.

I taught my babies to go to sleep on their own to but I didn't do it the way you are as I feel that a baby cries to say I need Mama or Daddy. I would go in every 10-15 min. Right now a friend of mine is having the same problem as you she said that one night her husband put his hand in the crib for the baby to hold and she fell right off to sleep. The baby no longer felt forsaken. mine are now 4 years 3 years and 16 months and we still need to at times go over for a cry as they sometimes have a scary dream or the covers come off and they are cold it's all a part of being a Mama.
Maybe you need to lay off for cio for now and do a lot more comforting and then try it again in a couple of weeks after his trust is back I say that because he may feel forsaken and is now fearing that you will leave him to cry and you do just that and he needs someone with skin on and it's not there.

move his bed time up 15 minutes each night until you get to a time when he is sleeping better. also read the book healthy sleep habits by Weissbluth. It really helped me understand babies' sleep habits.

Hi
we did this too, are you ferberizing? (Using the ferber method?)

It worked for us pretty quickly- but I want to ask you- how are his eating habits? Does he spit up? Arch his back when he eats? Does he hiccup a lot? burp a lot?

The reason I ask is because I think your approach is fine but should be working a little faster...

My daughters both had pretty bad acid reflux and when the baby is lying down, the acid slowly leaks out of the stomach into the esophagus when the sphincter is not fully formed or working all the way.

The acid reaches the esophagus and can burn,and it wakes up the baby. IT is very uncomfortable for them, and does wake them up.
He should be able to stay asleep longer between feedings, so this is why i ask you if you have thought maybe about reflux?

Once we treated our daughters for the reflux, and got them comfortable, the cry it out/ferber method worked for us.

Also, maybe just get a check up= it could be an ear infection waking him up. (again, i only say this because babies usually do ok with the cry it out- in that each day the crying should DECREASE.)

But if there is actually something wrong (reflux, ear infection, etc) he will just cry and cry before he tires out... because he might be trying to tell you something.

See if you can maybe get a pediatrician to take a quick look in his throat and ears- and then maybe discuss reflux.

I am only worried since i think it should have been getting better for him/you.