Sleep Patterns in 8-Mth-old Twins

First - congrats on breastfeeding twins! Even tho you need to supplement with formula here and there you are giving them such a wonderful gift with the nursing!

Now on to teething...teething is one of those things that really does vary from one kid to another. I have 3 boys - each one started teething around 2-3 months of age. First got his first tooth in at 10 months...second son - 3 months...3rd son - 6 months. Lots of variation within the family...interestingly enough, when they got their teeth in also played a part in how old they were when they lost their first tooth!

So, teething discomfort is one of those things that you have seen can vary from day to day. Hyland's teething tablets/gel is a great help. I prefer baby ibuprofen over tylenol as it is an anti-inflammatory and seems to be a bit more effective at relieving the discomfort longer (anecdotal experience). I generally suggest to my mommies whose babies are having some discomfort to only give the ibuprofen at night time and use other means during the day to ease babies discomfort. I love the use of a big fat carrot to chew on... :) I advise against frozen toys or foods the baby must hold because it will make their poor little fingers VERY cold!

Now for the waking...NORMAL! But it seems you already have an idea that this might be the case. And you are correct that the waking varies from child to child. My three boys all had drastically different sleeping patterns. Sometimes they would sleep great and other times they would not. But I find that is the case with most humans in general regardless of age. :) As long as you are OK then I would simply 'go with the flow'. :) Wonderfully you are not a fan of the cry it out method - neither am I. I had never termed it a form child abuse but I believe you are VERY correct - it is. And I do suggest to my clients that the CIO method is one of the main reasons our society has so many abandonment and trust issues... And, in my personal opinion, separating them may or may not help. I don't personally like that idea and it certainly doesn't go along with co-sleeping unless you put on on dad's side and one on yours with you and dad sleeping in the middle...then you have to deal with the possibility of baby rolling off the bed if you aren't already using bed rails to prevent that. :) My recommendation would be continue to co-sleep and continue to give your babies that gift...because it is a wonderful gift you are giving them. :)

For your situation I think the best thing to focus on that will possibly help the sleep would be the teething. Find ways to make them more comfy at night.

If you are in the Sacramento area and would like to talk in person to other moms who are going through this too we'd love to have a twin mommy at our mom's group. :) Go to www.breastfeedingnetwork.net and find the Mom's Group page. It will give you all the info you need. It is a wonderful group of ladies...

Good luck and keep up the great work you are already doing...

Warmly,

J. Simpson, IBCLC, CIIM

Dear E.:

First off congratulations on your two little boys. What a gift to have two but also what a lot of hard work!

My son whent through being very wakeful around this age too.

I found the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child very helpful. They offer various types of sleep suggestions as to what might be effecting your child from sleeping. THere are also sections specific to your childs age. This Doctor believes that sometimes the time the boys go to bed and how much they are napping or more specifically if they are not napping enough can really effect their night time sleep.

My son was also in a great deal of pain when he was teething. We often gave he tylenol in the middle of the night to help him sleep. I know it is not good to over medicate but I would also think about what it is like when just one of my teeth would hurt and then how much it must hurt to have your whole mouth feel that way.

I would get the book and if they seem really uncomfortable give them some tylenol. This way they will get the rest they need which is the most important issue.

I also know a friend with twin girls and she said when she was trying to get them to sleep through the night she put them is seperate rooms so they would not disturb each other.

I hope all this helps.

N.

i think it is pretty brutal for you to accuse everyone that let's their kids "cry it out" child abusers. that is a little bit of a stretch, don't you think? your kids are waking up because you go to them, and who wouldn't want their mommy in their room all night. if you want to do that for the next several years, then go for it. if you want kids that actually sleep every night, understand how to soothe themselves to sleep on their own and can pretty much sleep in any situation....then you may have to try letting them cry a bit. good luck, and next time you might try a different tactic to get advice. i think a lot of mom's let their children cry, only to find 1 or 2 nights later, their kids sleep like perfect angels (the way they were meant to...peacefully, deep and sound and most of all....alone).

Hello E.~
My name is J. and I am the mother of identical twin boys who are now 6 years old. The first two years with twins are definitely the most difficult, especially when you are talking about sleep! ; ) First of all, whenever possilble, sleep when they sleep. I know for me that was hard sometimes, because when they slept was my only time to shower, clean house or watch a movie with my husband.
But sometimes you just have to go take a nap or you will not be taking care of yourself, or your family, properly.
The key with my boys was that they shared a crib until they were about 18 mths, they slept head to foot all that time, just like when they were in the womb. You could turn them around, adjust them all night, but they always ended up head to foot. It was most important to keep them on the same sleep schedule, even though you may feel a bit cruel at times, for about a week or two, I would wake one up so they would sleep at the same time. I also nursed, so this of course meant always nursing at the same time, football style. That seemed to help them stay on schedule.
If I occassionally nursed them one at a time, I fed them back to back, so they were again asleep at the same time.
For the teething? I don't think anything worked better than Hyland's teething tablets..any time that they ran a low grade temp or were in severe pain, I also gave them children't tylenol.
Please feel free to write anytime and ask questions. I was the mother of 3 before I had my boys, and it was still a whole new world experience. Twins are in a league all their own. It is a lot of work, I hope you have a really good support system. I promise you when they hit the 3-4 age...your whole body will relax a little. However, my boys are like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. They are mischevious from the word go...so they will still keep you hopping! The stories I could tell you! We had to put latches on all the doors up at the top of the door, we had 6 baby gates...and potty training? It is funny now, but it sure wasn't then! : ) They are such a joy to watch together, they have their own "talk" and their own little world. You will never see any siblings closer than twins!
Congradulations on your new adventure! God Bless...

J.

Hi E.--I am a 36 year old mom of 4 boys. My youngest just turned a year. I am not advocating "cry it out." My 1 year old has been an amazing, consistent sleeper who simply would lay down and go to sleep, but at 10 months (with teething) he started a phase where the moment I left the room after putting him to bed, he started crying really hard. From having the other three boys, I learned that it was up to me to teach him how to get through this. I knew that if my babies only fell asleep when I was holding him...that is the only way he would know how to fall asleep. So when my baby started this phase, I reminded myself that I had done what I could for the discomfort, I gave him loves, kind words and made sure he had his blankey, hoping to enable him to self-soothe and fall back asleep. I was relieved it took him only about one minute of settling down most nights (and sometimes I went in once again and did my loves, kind words, kiss) and he fell asleep every time. I wanted to avoid any crying and go right back in and pick him up, etc., but was so glad my past experience reminded me that I could help him know it would be ok and allow him the minute to settle down (even with some new discomfort), rather than learn a new way of "the back and forth with mom."

As I said, I am not advocating "cry it out," (this baby is so happy and any tears tug on my heart) but just wanted you to be mindful that your children are very bright and smart and will tune into all opportunity to have you be with them (which is priceless except for the 4th or 5th time in the night). They are so smart! Teething is uncomfortable and you probably have your preferred methods to deal with the discomfort, but some of this is simply their being awakened more often because of the pressure of their teeth and then they need to know they can soothe themselves and go back to sleep. If you have done what you can for the pain, most often, they can learn to do this pretty quickly on their own. You are doing a wonderful work with your beautiful boys.

E.,

My son, and almost every other kid I know does the exact same thing. They are learning so much right now, and new events in their lives, coupled with teething, colds and other things cause sleep disturbances. He used to sleep 6 hrs stretches at 3-4 months. He has eight teeth now!! We do a combination of co-sleeping and the crib. I'm up a lot at night with my son, but my husband gets up with him in the morning and that's when I get some rest. I founded a local attachment parenting group who practice many of the same things you do (don't cry it out and do co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, babywearing etc) because I wanted to connect with other parents who have the same philosophies about parenting and have some similar issues. Go to Meetup.com and search for Bay Area Attachment Parenting Group. There is also Attachment Parenting International groups that meet all over. My group meets here in Albany. Babies are very individual, and many need to just get to that milestone of sleeping through the night on their own timeline. Be patient and hang in there. I hear the range is 9 months to 2 years. There are many different co-sleeping arrangements that work for folks. There must be a support group for twins as well.

Anyway, food for thought, good luck,

B.

You go, girl! You are making amazing decisions! In the long run, you will be delighted with your results.

I have three sons (15, 12 and 10). The eldest slept through the night at 6 months. The middle slept thru at 13 months and my youngest still can get up and wander. The approach that worked for all three was the passage of time -- sometimes a short time and sometimes a long time.

Love your babies, girl. They'll be sleeping in another state before you know it.

Yikes, I do not know how you do it with twins.... anyway, my little 11 month old was a champ sleeper til about 5 months too. I also don't believe in crying it out. I don't have much to offer in the way of advice, so sorry about that, but I just wanted to say that my son did the same thing too, and I am wondering when this will change....

Hi E.,

I understand the whole sleep pattern thing. I felt like I got more sleep before my son (10 mo)started teething. Usually I let him gnaw on teething rings (hard ones because he does not like th soft ones)and if it really bothers him,I put orajel on his gums. At night I give him some tylenol for the pain. It was suggested that I give him the tylenol before he goes to sleep. That has seemed to work when the pain is real bad. I also co sleep with him when he is not feeling well or teething. The whole crying it out thing has always seemed too harsh for me.. I am glad to know that others share my feelings. As for the teething, I have also been told the teething tablets help (haven't used them though). Hope this helps..

Have you tried giving them tylenol before bed time? I have 3 kids and that always works for me. My 6 month old is teething and waking every 2 hours. And I am with you, I can't let the little guy cry and he's my 3rd! Tylenol helps some. Just call your Dr to get the right dosage. He always likes to chew on partly frozen washcloths too. It really helps soothe and they just rub the wash cloth all over their gums. Hope that helps!

LS

Hi E. ~

I wonder if by co-sleeping you could be waking each other up? Maybe try separating at night. I used to play a cd of ocean waves for my son at night and it seemed to work well when he was in his crib by himself. Good Luck.

I don't know how you work and go to school with 8-month-old twins! If you are concerned with 'child well being only' concentrate on them right now. Minimize school or work, but don't let go... there will be time later.
Babies are babies for such a short time. Be the one to be there, day or night.
The reward is not comparable to any degree or paycheck.

I have 9 mos old twins who are breastfed. In the early months, we fed on a schedule & on demand at night which set their days/nights. At 2 mos., they were sleeping from 11pm until 7:30, at about 6 mos, they started sleeping from 8pm until 7:30. During teething or illness, if one wakes up, I go to them & try to console them by rocking, walking or singing & put them back down again. If 15 min-30 min of this doesn't work, then I'll nurse them & put them back down. They sleep in the same nursery in separate cribs. We always put them down awake with either their mobiles playing or lullaby music.

Hi E.!

I think you're doing a fine job with your boys. And WOW..they are sure good sleepers! And, yes, sleep varies the first year, and there is no right or wrong, only the way you want it to be. As many moms will tell you, teething can be a challenge to satisfy your little one's. It seems like they teeth 'til their 4 years old! And after they finally get them all in, they start loosing them!
Anyway, I always noticed a few changes that would "clue me in to my kids teething". Runny nose, LOTS of drooling, some diarreah (usually leaving a rash), change in appetite, and ocassionally a fever. And basically, the kids are just plain 'ole miserable when they're teething!
I used Teething Tablets, by Hylonds ALL THE TIME, even starting at your boys age. I also used Motrin for the evening on really bad days, or if I sensed there was a bad night ahead.
During the day I used a wet washcloth. It's amazing how much they loved chewing on that! I always had apples in the fridge, and would cut them up and put them in one of those "Food nets" to chew on. There are so many tricks, and you will get plenty of advice from Mamsource.
I think your boys are just fine! I think they are starting to teeth, which yes, can take awhile for the first teeth to pop out.
Good luck to you E.!

:o) N.

I used Hyland's teething tablets because they are natural. Also, orajel and motrin before bed when I knew he was teething, before he even woke up one time really haleped.

Hi E.,
The first 3 months my twin girls slept well- then reality set in! They started sleeping shorter times, sometimes only 2 hours at a time. I tried to keep them on the same sleep & eat schedual. Eventually they started sleeping a good 6 hours a night about 11 months old. I used to wake them up after 3 hours of napping and that helped them sleep longer at night. Good luck! ~S.

You might want to think about letting your twins have separate beds, still in the same room of course! I found this really, really helped w/ mine. I am mother of 24 month old twins, boy and girl. Who sleep from 6:30pm to 6 am..and have since they were 3 months old. I found letting them be a little independent at night in their own crib, they seemed to enjoy it ALOT! :) Of course there are nights where they have a dream or tooth problem, but it usually goes away w/ a little rub to the back and a reminder that you are right there always. Of course mine are much different b/c of the boy and girl, but it might work.

My daugter's sleep schedule was ruined by teething too. We use a combination of the wholistic teething tablets, and when it's really bad we use infant motrin. She slept through the night most of the time with the motrin. I don't think it made her sleepy, I think the pain was really upsetting her and once it was gone-she crashed. Good luck!

I understand that you don't want to let your babies cry because I didn't want neither. You have 2 options still waking up and go and check them, since it doesn't bother you, but believe me they will still waking up because they know that you're coming, even when they are bigger they will still waking up and going to your bed. I talk of experience or let them cry.

My daughter was not a good sleeper for the first year. We were up all the time with her... several time a night and for hours sometimes. Exhausting! I also feel very strongly about not letting her cry it out, I choose not to abandon my child when she is in distress.

I read the book "The No-cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly. It has a lot of useful tools that really do work but they take time to establish. It is not an over night easy solution. It also helped to have my husband start going in more. Especially since I was breastfeeding and at times that was the cure all but not a good habit. Around the time my daughter was 9 months my husband started stepping up at night (he read the book as well.) The book helps you to teach your child to self soothe more and more but you very slowly and very gently teach them.

My baby girl is 16 months now and sleep pretty well (with the exception of teething.) When I know that she is really in pain from teething I will give her some Motrin at night. It helps her sleep so she feels a million times better in the morning.

Hope this helps :)