Sleep/Nap Routine....

Updated on January 13, 2009
J.G. asks from Bandera, TX
18 answers

Hi everyone. I'm having some issues with my 5 mth old. I've read thru all the other questions & responses, but am still lost. I would love to get my daughter into a real routine, but it's difficult. Here's the deal......We live in a 3 bedroom house - my hubby, 11-yr-old daughter, hubby's dad, and myself. My 11-yr-old has her own room, which is teeny-tiny, barely enough room for her own stuff, let alone her baby sister's too. My FIL has his room, with my hubby & I in the master bedroom, of course. Becuz of this living arrangement, our little one sleeps in the room with us. She has her crib, of course, but she only sleeps in it at night. Here are my biggests issues.......I can't seem to get a good routine going. She was going to bed by 11pm and sleeping for 6-8 hrs, waking up for a feeding, then back to sleep for a cpl more hours. She never sleeps during the day for longer than 15-20 minutes unless she's asleep on my chest. This of course makes house work impossible. My hubby & FIL work the same hours - Sun(6a-2p), Mon & Tues(2p-10p), Wed & Thurs(10a-6p) with Sat off. I've tried everything I can think of to get her to take naps in her crib during the day, and to sleep at night, but all has failed. I'm thinking that the CIO method is my last choice. My problem is this.....how do I get a decent routine going, when I can't put a crying infant in her crib on those days hubby is sleeping all day for preperations for working all night & when he has to go to bed at night after work so that he is rested for his next shift??? Plus, my FIL can hear little one in his room, if she's in the living room with me, fussing! (Man this all sounds confusing!!!!) Any ideas on how to get some routine & normalcy back into my life would be GREAT!!!! Thanks in advance!!!!

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E.C.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Hi, J.,
My daughter had to be held/rocked to sleep and still wasn't sleeping through the night at nine months old. I read and followed "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. It was hard at first to break my bad habits of holding her to sleep (it took about a month), but ever since she sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:30am and naps from Noon to three every day! She is almost 22 months old now. Good luck and hang in there! E.

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N.F.

answers from Albuquerque on

my baby's crib is in the bedroom too, I am trying to work out a routine too...

with my 1st son i got my husband noise reduction earphones for when he had to day-sleep

also, as far as napping for more than 15 min in you arms, the swing works for me. And my little one likes the hum of a fan to drown out background noises

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E.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Go to the public library and check out a video on how to deal with babies routine. We have T. kids 6 & 3 yrs old and we watch the video... I can't remember the title of it but it was great info! The speaker on the video is a Pediatrician.

Good luck,
Elisa

1 mom found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from Austin on

My son is still not consistent with his sleep habits yet but there are things that have helped us. We moved his bedtime to an earlier time. Books suggest between 7-8 P.M. My son also likes to be held during his naps and a baby sling helped with this. He sleeps in it while I do my housework. Also, if you are going to do the CIO method, you should start now. The earlier you start, the better because they don't cry as long as when they are older. If you do this, start during his naptime and when you do it at night, just tell everyone in the house so they can be supportive of it knowing that it might be the best for everyone in the long run. Good luck. Even though these things have made our son's sleep better, he still wakes up a couple of times a night and does not always take two hour naps. I think that's just what babies do. People who say their babies sleep like angels have rose colored glasses on.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Maybe ask hubby to sleep during the day in daughter's room and put baby in master bedroom or vice versa. Have you tried laying her on her stomach during the day? Mine always slept better that way, and they don't get into that deep sleep during the day - plus you're awake... Have you tried a swing? Mine also slept wonderfully in a swing. Also, if you're just worried about noise and sleep - my babies always slept fine and stayed quiet when in a front carrier (backpack type). I could do anything forever with both hands free while the baby is in it being rocked to sleep. I wouldn't normally recommend it for a regular at home basis - but in your case - I would try it.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi there J.:)
Seems like you have gotten lots of good advice but I thought of one more thing. I think CIO is just fine, part of life is learning to self comfort, within limits of your little one's emmotional abilities of course. But I see what you mean about not wanting to disturb your husband. We have gone through some kind of crazy seasons around here as well where scheduling was tough for various reasons. So on days that I know that getting him to sleep at home would be exceptionally hard I would plan my errands around his nap time that way on the way home he would crash out and I could just carry to his bed. Since your hubby has a set schedule maybe on those days that he needs his sleep you can plan grocery buying or whatever around the time your baby will get tired. That has worked awesome for me. Now I personally don't drive my boy around to get to sleep but if there is an errand to run I might plan it for that time. On the other days where your husband and FIL's sleep schedules are more normal I think you can use a bit of CIO in 10 minute incriments and that might help you establish some great sleep patterns. Also, consistency of what happens before bed is wonderful. Like dinner, playtime, bath, bottle/nursing then sleep. At that age I let my little guy nurse to sleep every night and now at 18 months he is a champ sleeper, off the bottle completly, and has perfectly healthy teeth. Best wishes figuring all this out!!:)

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M.M.

answers from Houston on

Maybe you could get your hubby and FIL some earplugs.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

Wow, that's rough. I would suggest an additional bedroom. Since your FIL is still working and caring for himself perhaps it would be worth it too look around? Maybe he could get a small place of his own? Or perhaps he can at least sleep with earplugs or something? I work nights and my daughter is cared for in my apt while I sleep but I don't hear a thing thanks to benadryl :) I am dead to the world for those 6 hrs.
Good luck in any case, wish I had something more useful to tell you...

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

I would try a sling or some other type of baby carrier. We don't let babies cry alone in our house, so that isn't an option.

Have you tried putting a heating pad on warm in her crib and then laying her down, tightly swaddled, after removing the heating pad? It leaves a warm spot and may trick her into sleeping.

It might get better when she starts rolling over and sleeping on her belly.

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D.M.

answers from Austin on

Sleep for babies makes more sleep, I had my 5 mo twins to bed at 7pm then wake at 10:30pm to give one more bottle of milk and then they slept until 6am. Feed small bottle 3 oz and they would go back to sleep until 8 or 9am. Then Feed 4-5 oz, then put down for a nap at 10:30am , Then tummy time, watch a baby einstein or play with toys, Do you have a vibrating bouncy? I used this as a short nap for an hour or so. Then vibrating bouncy time so I did housework in the mid morning and early afternoon naps. Nap at 12:30pm Some of these naps should be in her bed some in the vibrating bouncy or pack and play. The Key is you feed and lay down, they know if they are getting fed they are sleeping. And have playtime/tummy time in the morning when they wake up for the longest amount of sleep first thing and again late afternoon. after several naps.

Put her down at the same time everyday her body will adjust and crave the sleep she needs, if she isn't sleeping she is got to be cranky from the lack of sleep and thus not sleeping well the times she is sleeping. She needs deep sleep, the only way to acheive that is sleep cycles of rest that her body is used to . Eating then sleeping is telling your baby thats what you want her to do. You have to stick with it, and the vibrating bouncy, and shhhing with soft voices and rubbing their head instead of rocking/holding to sleep is key. Rocking/holding is sweet, but its the transfer to the bed from your soft arms that keeps it from being successful because they'd rather be with you. Soothing with music, rubbing head and in their bouncies was great for twins but also for their sleep as I couldnt coddle them to sleep and they learned self soothing much quicker. Do you use a paci? Only giving the paci for sleep times helps them understand its special for sleeping and a soother for them as well.

Good luck routine is key and sticking to it, children thrive on a schedule and routine its their safety and your sanity no matter how repititive it seems.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

You wrote that they are only off on Saturday, but unless they are working overtime, I would assume that they are off Friday too. Start CIO on Friday and stick to it, your problems will be solved by the tim your DH is back in his routine Sunday. If this is not the case, then the boys will have to suffere with you for a day or two in exchange for a peaceful happily-ever-after. Small trade off. What would they do if youw ere to fall ill? They would have to take care of the baby all day. This is only a couple of hours.
When she wakes after her 10 min catnap, comfort her and start the CIO routine. If you stick to it, it won't take more than a day or two. I've used this on 3 of the infants in my daycare at the parent's request during naptimes. It was hard the first day or two, but after that, none of them ever had another sleeping issue. We also used it on our daughter. Best thing that we ever did and all of these children are fine, well adjusted preschoolers now that sleep well and even put themselves to bed.
CIO is h*** o* all of you, but it solves probelms that I here many other mothers comaplain about for years. It is much quicker and easier before they can talk and before they can pull up.
It is the best gift that you will ever give your daughter and your family. Good luck.

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R.A.

answers from Odessa on

You might consider a small fold up bed to put in your daughter's room for day time naps. Most days your daughter will be at school, and the room is empty of people. You might also want to consider a swing since it seems the baby likes that 'movement' that comes from being on your chest... i.e., the rise and fall of your chest while breathing. Hope you find something that works soon! They are indeed blessings!

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

You mentioned your husband and fill sleeping to work all night but the hours you listed don't have any nights.

From the hours above it looks as though 1-3 might be a good time to put her in her crib to try to get her to sleep.

You might try playing with her a lot to get her tired, then give her a bottle before laying her down, maybe massaging her, putting her in pj's (as you do at night) and then lay her down. If she cries after leaving the room, go back in after a minute or two, give the pacifier and leave without saying anything. Try this a time or two with the pacifier and let her cry. If she is waling crying then figure out a time when you will go pick her up.

Don't let her sleep on you that day. Play hard again until she if finally ready to go down for a nap.

She will get the hang of it! Good luck!

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H.P.

answers from Corpus Christi on

When my husband was working nights and sleeping all day I used to put a pack n play in the living room so that my daughter wouldn't completely disturb my husband. I also made him put a towel or sheet under the door so that he wouldn't hear her through the cracks.

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G.F.

answers from McAllen on

I used to try soothing music for my little girl like an hour after her morning feedings , you need to get her in the routine of putting her on the crib to sleep. Not too much sensory stimuli and can become a habit for her latter.
-G.

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I would advise against the CIO method. New research shows this is ineffective and can cause mistrust issues. Have you checked out the book The Baby Whisperer? It has some great information to help you learn how to help your child sleep and get her into a routine. I believe you can check it out at the library. And remember this won't last forever. I'm sure you know that as you have older children. Hang in there!

Also, it may be that your feeling extra stress because you don't have a place of your own. Living with in-laws can't be easy. Do you have plans to get a place of your own soon? Check out DaveRamsey.com for ways to get out of debt and get financial peace.

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T.P.

answers from El Paso on

I have a 3 month old and a 4 yr old. I am trying to intergrate his routine with hers..not so easy either. But I just found a few books by the Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg. I really like her methods of getting baby on a routine. She talks about babies that take short naps and how to deal with it. Plus she has a message board on her website where you can get help from other parents that are trying the same things. I hate the CIO method and Tracy is not for it either. The other thing I was thinking, is maybe you should try to put a pack-n-play in your daughter's room while she is at school and make the baby take naps in there so she wont disturb the night workers. Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

When my husband stayed home with the baby for a month napping became a real issue. He found the baby swing his friend. For some reason Nathan would take a nap for me in his bed but not for his father. Do what you find works for your family.

I also would put Nathan on our bed with pillows and lay next to him. He new I was there and it helped.

Final note - the sh sh sh sound while you rub his back or walk with him to get him to sleep works. I would rock and sh. Once the baby was a sleep I would lay him down but continue to sh sh.

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