Getting My Daughter to Sleep in Her Crib

Updated on January 13, 2008
B.K. asks from Rapid City, SD
23 answers

I have a almost 4 month old daughter who has only slept in her swing since birth. I am trying to get her to sleep in her crib and it seems to be almost impossible. My husband and I take turns trying to calm her down and this seems to last for hours and finally my nerves are shot and she goes back in her swing, within minutes she is sleeping sound. What else can I do to get her to sleep in her crib at night?

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T.T.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I know exactly how you feel, though the problem with my newborn daughter (3wks) is that she only wants to sleep on my chest on her chest (get me? lol). She won't sleep in her bassinet or crib at all, though she will sleep on my bed right next to me. My mother is worried about me rolling over onto her in the middle of the night. I'm not a heavy sleeper (though I used to be when I was young), but honestly it does scare me a little...the thought of waking up and my daughter not breathing. But I can't stand to hear her cry very long and it frustrates me some. Maybe someone out there has some advice for me too?

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H.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

read "good night sleep tight" by the sleep lady. I just finished reading it and already my little boy is sleeping through the night by himself. (I bought it a week ago!)

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W.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Go out today and buy the book Babywise. I know several desperate moms who swore by this book.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.M.

answers from Lansing on

Hi B.,
I have found that if a baby can smell Mom's scent that it is soothing. Put a artical of clothing of yours in her crib. I hope that this is helpful.
Good Luck,
B.

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B.B.

answers from Fargo on

Oh my gosh I had the same problem!!!!! It's really frusterating and on top of that you are sleep deprived and cranky. I ended up, after trying to soothe my son all night just having to let him cry and soothe himself (my husband is deployed so it's been all me all the time). I also discovered his Ppaci was a huge problem, he would knock it out of his mouth and then search for it all night and cry because he thought he needed it. Once I took it away he was a lot better. I also established a strict nightime routine. He now knows that after bath time we have reading time or lulleby time and he about puts himself to sleep. Hang in there, it WILL get better!

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T.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi Britnee-
My son is 3 1/2 months old and for the first 2+ months, he slept on his tummy on my body for all naps and bedtime too! He now sleeps in his bed at night and has been for a few weeks. Initially, we had to swaddle him tight and put him on his side between those little foam things that keep babies in position. We would turn on his little rainforest soother, give him his pacifier, and stick our little baby burrito in the crib. He sometimes fussed initially for a few minutes, but ended up sleeping for 3-6 hours at a shot. Now, he doesn't like the swaddle anymore because he wants access to his hands, so he is having a harder time settling down without his swaddle. Actually, nap time is harder than night time at this point because he's teething already, but that's a whole separate story. I have heard "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" is a good book for helping babies get to sleep- but I think each baby is different. The trick is to teach your baby to sooth herself in the crib, and the swaddling helps make babies feel safe. Hope this helps a bit! Good luck!

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi B.,
I agree with one of the other moms that said to roll up some towels or small blankets and pin her between them. Both of my boys didn't like how big their crib was at this age. Also you could try swaddling her. My boys always loved to be comfy and cozy in their swaddle. Good luck.
Chris

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M.B.

answers from Boise on

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M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Hi B.,

My daughter is 9 months old and also slept in her swing for the first 6 months (in our bedroom). It was so easy to get her down for the night in her swing that I let it go on for far too long. We finally made the switch when she started to twist in her swing to lay on her side making it obvious that she needed some room to stretch out. It was a tough transition at first (our bedroom is on the main floor and her bedroom is upstairs) but after about two weeks of fighting it, she gave in. I think what helped us was that we had a definite routine at night. I would tell her that we were going to bed, we would go up and rock in her chair with music on for 10 or 15 minutes so that she could calm down and then I would lay her in the crib. Sometimes she would go right down, sometimes she would cry for up to 45 minutes (with us checking on her every once in a while). In my experience, whenever we have made a change, consistency has been key. It's hard at the beginning but if you remain consistent in your routine and don't give in to her, (I know it's excruciating to listen to her cry but she'll never learn if you keep rescuing her) she will eventually learn that this is her new routine. Good luck!

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J.Z.

answers from Provo on

It's always a major adjustment when a baby's sleeping habits are changed and it's very difficult on all. My babies were that way too but I got some really good advice. To do this, you will want to pick a couple nights that it's ok to be awake all night (not easy, I know) but by the third night it should work like a charm. I had to feed, comfort, change my baby and what ever else comes right before bedtime; then you put them down to sleep as comfortable as possible (i.e. with blanket, etc.) and just let them cry. I know this is VERY hard to do -- I've been through it. They will get tired of the crying and learn that this is ok. The big trick is to NOT pick them back up for comfort. Of course, if there is a problem, like a messy diaper or something, that needs to be addressed, but that is not likely since you did it all before putting baby down. Hope this helps

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L.S.

answers from Sheboygan on

Hello, I read your question and it made me remember how my kids never wanted to sleep at night -- at all. With the advice from my sister, I started to give my kids the long drawn out bath at night -- every night. My kids hated that bath and cried and fussed and kicked -- and got a lot of exercise. I did these baths around 9 at night, and let them get alot of good frustrations out. Then I would get them all dressed for bed, and feed them well. They would be so tired, they would sleep anywhere. I did this for about a week, with each of my three kids. Eventually, they slept in thier crib, and pretty much through the night. This worked wonders for me, because when I brought them home from the hospital, they wanted to sleep all day and be up all night. This made them tired at night and gave me a chance to stay caught up on my sleep -- and made me much happier with the rest of my family. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Des Moines on

I don't really have any advise for you, but am glad someone else is having this same problem! My five week old infant will sleep everywhere except her crib! she will be asleep and as soon as i lay her in her crib, she will wake back up, but she will stay asleep in the same position if i lay her in my bed next to me. I know they say your not suppose to co-sleep with an infant, at least my doctor has said so, but some nights I just don't have any other choice if I want to sleep too! she'll sleep in her bouncey seat, swing, in my arms, and in bed with me... but not in the crib!! so good luck to you, and I'm interested in any advise anyone has on the subject as well!

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I had this prob with my dd till she was about 6 months, I talked to the doc he said get rid of the swing and go cold turkey. We put the swing in a hard to get to spot in the basment. We ended up putting a boppy in her crib to hold her. Since she was old enough to roll over and hold her self up. She felt held in it, similar to the swing. It was a hard few nights but we did it, and you can to!

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H.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I don't want to bring up controversy, but....have you tried putting her on her belly to sleep. I know this goes against the SIDS recommedations, and it's something you and DH need to agree on, but 2 of my 4 children have slept on their bellies. We try the back first, of course, but some babies are just more comfortable and content on their bellies. Make sure her room is cool, no other things in the crib, etc... My son went from sleeping 20 minutes at a time to 7 hour nights when we flipped him. He is strong now and rolling from belly to back and back to belly...but we put him on his belly around 2 months. GOOD LUCK!

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C.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

I know this is hard. I have a 5 month old who is my 3rd kid. We use the Ferber method. Put them down slightly awake, let them cry, come back in 5, then 10, then 15 minutes... to comfort. You keep going back until they stop crying adding more time in between each visit. DON'T pick them up. I say shhhhh, stroke his head, maybe give a pacifier and turn on the mobile and leave. It does work although the first couple of times are hard. The keys are consistancy. Do it for naps and bedtime and make a regular schedule. Somewhat regular at this age. Some days you may be off by an hour, but generally you are probably doing naps and meals and bedtime around the same time. It gets better. Don't give into picking her up and putting her in the swing. She is only learning to cry and cry until she gets the swing. She's probably falling asleep with exhaustion. If you can't stand the sound of the crying (I know with my first it was torture) think about putting on some headphones and holding a watch in the other hand. Or putting on the tv. As long as they are safe, comfortable (not too hot), fed, and clean, crying is ok! The first time you do it will be the worst. The next time will be better. Within 2 days I promise you it won't be a challenge anymore. Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Milwaukee on

We too had what I like to call a "motion only sleeping baby". until he was too big to sleep in the swing. We did end up co-sleeping since that was the only way we would get sleep for the longest time. I do believe that you are reaching a crucial age to try to break this habit. At around 5 months we finally decided that we had to try to get our child to sleep without the motion of the swing. I have to say that I first worked really h*** o* the crib sleeping during the day, and praised myself for little steps. I found once I got him to sleep in the crib during the day then the night thing eventaully came on it's own.
THere will be some crying it out..something I really wasn't ready for but eventually he worked it out. I wan't to encourage you that the whole sleeping thing eventually gets better.
I found that the cry it out, at increasing intervals....7 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes finally resulted in our son getting use to being in his crib by himself.
Good luck.

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N.R.

answers from Boise on

I know this is going to sound harsh, but put the child in the crib, and let the baby cry. At first it is going to seem mean. This baby needs to know that this is where she sleeps now. I have a friend who went through this, and her son is now 6 and still in bed with her.
It will be so much easier to do this now, rather than later. She will learn to comfort herself eventualy. You have to be consistant. Keep puting her in the crib. It will take a few days of wanting to pull your hair out, but dont do it. You will be glad you did this for her.
Goo luck!

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M.M.

answers from Great Falls on

together with all the other attempts, put the crib right next to your own bed, side to side, and while she is falling asleep, hold her gently with your hand, so she feels your presence. Slowly, day by day, touch her less when she falls asleep, and she will start getting accustomed to just feeling your presence. there will come a day when she will get accustomed to the fact that the crib is as safe a place as your lap, and will fall asleep well. Much later, you will be able to remove the crib into her own room, and just stay with her there while she falls asleep.
It is a safety issue, she does not feel safe without your closest presence yet. Be patient, and do not leave her alone crying to sleep, please. She will get there, but it is 'a job' for you to help her be happy and safe in a 'new environment' of the crib. Happy sleep to all of you!!!
M.

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J.K.

answers from Jackson on

My 5-1/2 month old son was exactly the same way. Just before Christmas we were on vacation for a week without the cradle swing and since then he hasn't gone back in it. Prior to our vacation he primarily slept in his cradle swing (exact same situation as you described). Since our vacation I've still had to work with him to sleep in his crib but we're making progress. At this point our son is old enough that I feel comfortable letting him cry a little in his crib. I vary how quickly I go into his room depending on the sound of his cry. Also, if he isn't feeling good then I'll go in right away to soothe him. The longest I'll let him cry for is 20-minutes. I know it might sound like a long time but he is at the age now where he can learn cause and effect. So, if I go in too soon then he'll learn that I'll come if he cries. At 4-months I would only let him cry for 5 or 10-minutes. When I go into his room I try to soothe him without taking him out of the crib. I pat his side with and without singing. Sometimes if he hears my voice it makes it worse and he cries louder. I'll try the soothing in the crib for 5-minutes or so before taking him out. If I take him out of the crib, I'll get him in his favorite position, pat his back and walk with him until he settles down. Or if he'll let me, I'll sit in the rocking chair while I comfort him. Once he is settled down I'll usually hold him for 5-minutes more before putting him back in his crib. If he starts to cry when I put him back in his crib, then I start over with the soothing in the crib (i.e., I don't pick him up right away). This process can take a long time but the key is consistency and to get them through the transition period from wakefulness to sleeping. You might be in the same boat as I was though and might not be able to break her of the cradle swing for another month or so. Since Christmas I have no put him back in the cradle swing and he is now sleeping in his crib. Typically he only wakes up once during the night and when he wakes up I'm able to get him back to sleep in his crib. Good Luck!

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S.W.

answers from Sioux City on

Her liking of the swing might not just be the swinging motion, but the angle of her body. I had problems with my daughter. She slept in her carseat for the first month until I raised the head of her crib. At four months, she still sleeps much better and longer if her head is elevated.

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A.B.

answers from Fargo on

You have gotten some good advice! One thing we did with my son when he finally came home from the hospital (6 weeks early) was we swaddled him and he slept much better. Another thing we did after he didn't want to be completely swaddled was to use the sleep sack that you get from the hospital. The best thing for us to get him to sleep really well was to put him on his tummy. I know it's against the "rules" regarding SIDS, but that's how he slept well and the first night, he slept thru the night! Even in the NICU he preferred to sleep on his tummy. If she prefers to sleep on her tummy then do it. At 4 months she's old enough and I'm sure strong enough to turn her head or at least roll to her side if she needs to. Not that many years ago they were telling everyone to put the babies to sleep on their tummies anyways! :)

Good luck and remember that it takes time to break a habit! :)

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M.S.

answers from Cheyenne on

This may be a security issue, you know from being all snuggled in the womb for 9-months. I bought a "wedge" pillow at Wal-Mart, which has a wedge on either side & is adjustable. I would lay my son in between the two wedges on his side in the bassinet/play-pen combo & then cover him with a warm blanket (fluffed in the dryer for about 15 minutes). This way he felt secure & warm. No guarantees this will work, but it's worth a shot. Also, if your daughter is really liking the motion of the swing, you may check into a bassinet/playpen that rocks. I know they're out there. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Casper on

I am probably going to be running into the same problems with my 6th child, now 7 weeks old. She won't sleep anywhere but in her swing, bouncy seat or with mom and dad....but some things that you might try, elevating one end of the crib. It might be that the crib sits too flat for her and she needs to have her head elevated a little. It could also be that she feels more confined and comfortable in the swing, try using blankets rolled on either side of her to make the crib feel smaller and more confined like the swing. If her crib is in one room and the swing is in your room it could be that she feels the seperation. Try those couple of things and see if it works. Each child is different and it might even be that she needs something that smells like you in the crib with her for her to feel comfortable. Good luck and don't stress. She will feel the stress and it will make it all the more terrible for you.

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