Sleep Advice - Rosemount, MN

You are not alone. The best advice I got from other moms was to be consistent and whenever you attempt something (in terms of sleeping), to do it for 3 weeks before ruling it out. (I know, 3 weeks, yikes!)
Whenever your baby hits a "touchpoint" or milestone, there will be minor disruptions and night waking. The big thing to remember is to do the same thing, as always, unless he's really sick.
At around 13 months, my son started to not sleep through the night and started taking poor naps. I flip-flopped on different techniques (and got rid of his morning nap) and nothing worked. Finally I started being consistent, putting him down for his nap by noon. I do the same routine for his naps every day (a short read, some rocking and singing with his favorite toy bunny.) If he wakes early from his nap, unless he starts crying hysterically, I don't go in until 2 p.m. I start bath at 6 p.m. and put him down for bed at around 6:30 p.m. When I started doing this, after 2 weeks, he finally settled down and now sleeps from 7 p.m. (he chats with himself for ~30 min) until 6:30 a.m. Even when he has pathetic naps, I don't change anything. If he cries in the middle of the night, I wait 5 minutes and listen to his tone. If he is really upset, I go in quietly, check his diaper (even if I know he's fine) and change it, and then I rock him (no words) for 5-10 min until he relaxes against me. Then I put him back to bed. If he doesn't get upset when he wakes, I don't go in at all. (After the rocking, I do not go back in until morning.) It was rough the first week, but after 3 weeks of consistently doing this, he stopped waking at night. Good luck!
Make sure he has something he really likes in his crib (something soft -- I went through several things until he really bonded with this floppy bunny -- I think because it is easy to hold on to with one hand.)
Another advice my pediatrician gave me was not to do any major changes (like taking away things in his routine) whenever he hits a major milestone or when something major happens.
Also expect that he will be a bit disgruntled when #2 comes along (if your hubby can help, have him start doing more things with your son so that your son gets used to you not always being there.)

Good luck.

Hi Colleen - YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!! We have a 22 month old son who wakes up almost nightly at 3 or 4am and just wants to be "up". We have 3 month old too . . .(I think it it has a lot to do with the new baby). I think going to bed at 7:30/8 and waking up around 5am is fairly normal when they are that young or maybe we have just gotten use to it!! Just know that you are NOT alone! We have let our son sleep with us too and he has gotten use to it - but to us it's worth it when we can ALL get some sleep!! Hope this helps! Best of luck to you and Baby #2 . . it is SOO much easier the second time around! Feel free to email me if you need to "chat". HANG IN THERE!!!

I do not really have advice but wanted to let you know my 15 month old has slept throught the night only a few times since she has been born. I understand the lack of sleep, it is hard. We have tried just about everything too. So I guess I wanted to let you know it is not just you, but hang in there. If you get any good advice let me know. There is a book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, that I used with my older daughter and it worked. Good luck!

Not Alone -

My son is not 18 months, but at nearly 8 months still wakes every 2 hours most nights. I have tried the "No Cry Sleep Solution" which is a book by Elizabeth Pantley and have seen some improvement - some nights he will sleep 3 or 4 hours without waking. He has been teething, so I think that is contributing to the wakefulness. My husband keeps suggesting we start trying for baby #2, but I am so tired that the thought of being pregant and having a newborn is hard to imagine!

Good luck!
Jess

OK what seems to have worked for my oldest son was music!! I have a small bombox in his room and I just put on some light music before he goes to bed and before I know it he is sleeping then i just go and turn it off. Now my cousin does something else which might be a harder habit to get rid of in the long run but her son goes to bed with the T.V. on I personaly don't like that idea but it might just help. Also have you tried reading him a bed time story? that helps my second one, well sorry thats all I have I hope it can help you in some way.

Dear Colleen,

You are not alone! Our daughter is 22 months and had always been a poor sleeper. However, in January I bought a book called "Goodnight Sleep Tight" by a lady who is referred to as the "Sleep Lady". Her real name is Kim West. It changed our lives!

I would not let our daughter cry herself to sleep, and this approach really worked for us. She still is not sleeping as much as the book says she should, but ten hours a night is better than six or seven! We bought the book off Amazon, but I know that Barnes and Noble also stock it.

Kim also does consults, but they are very expensive. I would recommend trying the approach in her book. She also has a website: www.sleeplady.com which offers hints each month.

Our daughter was a year when we started the "shuffle" and it took about 6 weeks for her to adapt. Your son is older, so it will take longer.

Good Luck. There are a lot of us out there who do understand. Our daughter's doctor told us that very smart children need far less slepp than the ordinary child - so take heart. Maybe you have a Bill Gates on your hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
B..

That is very frustrating! My son is 19 mos. old and still wakes up from time to time, but it's not quite as extreme as what it sounds like you're going through. I definitely sympathize, though!
I'm guessing you would have already talked to your son's doctor when you take him in for check-ups. Did the doctor have any advice? Or have you ever called a 24-hour nurse line?

I would recommend cutting out the night light. As much as it seems like that might be soothing, I think the light is actually confusing when your son wakes up. His room should be bright during the day, when he's supposed to be awake, but dark at night and as dark as possible during nap time.
I'm sure you've already heard how important it is to establish a night-time routine for going to bed, so I won't go into that, but I agree that it seems to help. Bathing with the soothing bedtime bath seems to help my son sleep better.
One other thing we've tried is to have a sound machine in his room with the volume turned down pretty low. It makes white noise, which helps mask any noises from outside his room, but also lulls him back to sleep if he wakes up.
If all else fails, though, a sleep expert is not a bad idea. It could be that your son has a sleep apnea or even asthma or something that wakes him up.

Colleen,

I am sorry I have nothing helpful to offer. But I do want you to know you are not alone. We have a 2 1/2 year old who began sleeping through the night at 23 months - and then stopped after a month. And then started again after a month. Every 3-4 weeks he goes through a week or two of waking up several times a night. The 3-4 weeks in between are heaven. But they didn't start until after he turned two. I know it doesn't help solve your problem, but please know you are not alone. I won't go into detail about the dad at the playground that said his son didn't sleep through the night until he was 5!
Good luck!

D.

Assuming that your child has had enough to eat, I am wondering - Do you have a baby monitor?

Our boys (twins) are nearly 7 now, and did not sleep through the night until we got rid of the baby monitor.

It seems that the problem was really with us. They would stir, or give some half hearted cries and we woul go get one of them before he woke up his brother.

We were getting pretty frazled, and the Pediatrician told us to lose the monitor. Apparently, our attention to their immediate needs was depriving them of the skill of falling back to sleep.

The first couple of nights were rough, not becasue they were so fussy, but our ears were really listening for distress. After that there were no issues. I am not advoacting locking your child up and hiding the key - we would still check in on them quite regularly, but just not with the immediacy (sp?) that we had been employing.

Since then, they have slept like teenagers!

Hang in there!

Involved Dad,
M.

Maybe your child is hungry. I used to wake my infant son up at 11PM, after the 10:00 news, after Cheers...and give him a bottle. Then he could sleep until 6AM when I got up and fed him before work. This started to work for me when he was 3 weeks old.

Hi there,

I really feel for you. The only thing I can say is maybe you are trying too many different approaches and not sticking to one position. After my daughter was born, someone refered me to the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I read almost every section of it and it has worked! We did have to go through the cry it out method which works very well. I started this around 6 mo. We let our daughter cry and the first night it was 45 min. The second night it was 5 min., and the third night no crying. This worked very well until she learned to stand in her crib and then we had to go through the training again (around 11 mo). Since then our daughter has been pretty good..goes to sleep at 7:30-8 and wakes up around 7. All kids are not alike though. I have a friend in a similar situation to you who lives in NY. I think their big problem is they live on a very busy street and the noise level would keep a sane adult awake all night. Do you have any noise issues where you live? Hope this helps. I don't know if it is too late to use the advice for the 18 mo old but it certainly couldn't hurt reading it for the newborn. Goodluck!

HI Colleen,
I know we don't know each other but I wanted to let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! We have 2 boys ages 4 & 2 that are 18 months apart. I know I can count the nights both boys have slept thru the night. We too have tried everything and have now decided that sleep is highly over-rated (ha ha) and we know at some point they will stay in their own beds. Our 4 year old is doing better but more often than not still comes in and sleeps with us. Our 2 year old I can nearly set my clock by him, usually by midnight he has to come find me and he's one that has to have his hand on my neck to fall asleep and he has done this nearly every night of his life. I know the sleep deprivation you are feeling especially being pregnant!! It works for us to let the boys cuddle up with us in the middle of the night, and yes, even with us they wake up occasionally. At some point you just do anything you can for everyone to get some sleep. They're only little once and soon enough your baby will sleep through the night. I know I really didn't offer any advice but on those days you may feel discouraged or at 2 a.m and your baby is waking up, just know you are not alone! I would be happy to discuss this further if you want to e-mail me back.

T.

My neighbor's son was having similar problems with sleeplessness when he was younger, very restless, waking up often, etc., so they took him in for tests and he had sleep apnea. Maybe you should consult a sleep specialist.

Just wanted to respond to your request for sleep advice, and to let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I also have a poor sleeper..and although I love being a mother, it is definately a challenge. I have a book that I bought when my son was 9 months (too late to start using it) called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. for a new baby it has great ideas for shaping sleep habits...Like I said, the ideas didn't work for my son because he was too old HOWEVER Elizabeth Pantley came out with another book this summer called "The No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers and Preschoolers" and I just got it from the Library and it has some GREAT ideas that are more geared to over 18 months. Hope this is helpful! Good luck,
C.

I'm sure you have gotten tons of advice, including the pat answers from all the books, but i can promise you that you aren't alone in this struggle. while i have been fortunate enough to be blessed with VERY good sleepers in both of my children, i know of at least 5 different families that have all had the same troubles you are having. All of their children too are sleeping well now :) (of course, their children are much older than yours) the biggest thing for us, though, was to keep a routine-very simple, but exactly the same, to the same book each night (however, my downfall is i don't stick to one time....), put on some white noise-we use a space heater during the winter, and if they do happen to wake up during the night, we NEVER pick them up and share minimal words (unless something is obviously wrong) i hope you get some sleep soon!

Hi,
I have soon to be 2 yr old twin boys.
Sorry to say I don't have much advice but have tried everything too.
Mine sleep through the night some nights some night not.
I know how exhausting this can be.
We even broke all the rules and put ours to bed with sippy cups.
One thing that wakes the boys up at night is a full wet diaper. We went up a size in diapers and it helped.
Also making sure they get enough run around time. I started taking the boys to the indoor playground at Edinborough. After they run around for a couple hours they sleep better at night.
We also have have let the boys sleep with us. I can't stand to let them cry too long. Altough sometimes you can tell if they are just wining and will settle down or not.
Usually I will lay beside their bed and pat their back until they fall asleep. Or wait till they fall asleep in our bed and carry them back to theirs.
The other thing that has been a life saver is a TV VCR combo.
We play baby einstein videos as a night time ritual usually they drift right to sleep in about 15 minutes. Now sometimes they go right into their rooms and lay down to watch their videos. Maybe not the most PC thing to do but when you are desperate you will try what ever works.
Hope this helps we feel for you!!

There's a book called the "no cry sleep solution" that a friend of mine thought worked really well and was also recommended my our pediatrician. You could get it from the library. Good luck!

I'm sorry you having such problems with your toddler sleeping. Both of my kids seem to require little sleep. It may never get better. This is just the way your toddler is. It will be easier if you accept this as part of their personality, and hope the next child sleeps a little more. That's the best advice I can give. When you accept that the way it's going to be, it gets easier. My six year old still gets up in the middle of the night.

Colleen, you are not alone. My 16 month old wakes up all the time. I find that what works best for us is keeping with a routine at night... bath...read books...it is getting better.
I wouldn't cut back on the naps...I've heard it doesn't help them with sleeping through the night. In fact it can be a reason why their not.

My daughter wakes up a lot because she has crept up into the corner of the crib and we have to readjust her. It could be something as simple as that.

Good luck,
M.

My daughter was the same way at 18 months. She did not sleep through the night until she 2 years old. I also tried everything, background noise seemed to work the best- a fan. I always made sure she knew I was going to checking on her throughout the night.

Nothing I have tried has ever been 100% successful- even suggestions from the experts.

She is now 5 and still does not sleep through the night every night. She usually crawls into my bed around 2 am. My thought on the subject is I need my sleep too and it does not bother me to have her sleep in my bed, as long as she starts out the night in her own bed.

I have talked to numerous moms( two who are co-workers) who have let their children crawl in bed with them during the night and they have turned out just fine-regardless of what the doctors and experts may say.
The children eventually grow out if it, make sure you are not making bedtime feel like a punishment. Reassure your child that he is safe and comfortable, and bedtime is fun, and if he needs anything you will be there right away.

If you find anything that works please let me know!

Sounds familiar....I have a 20 month old who has never been a good sleeper. We fell into the same traps of having her sleep with us because then we got some sleep. It did get a little better though a few months ago when we started putting her to sleep awake in her crib. She would cry a lot at first, but now she just sqwaks a little bit. With that being said, there are very few nights where she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night and cry. Sometimes she will put herself back to sleep, sometimes she will scream forever if we don't go see what is wrong. I think that like adults, some babies don't sleep well, not sure if any of my tidbits will help, but you definitely are not alone.

Hello Colleen,
I can understand your frustration/desparation at trying to get your child to sleep thru the night. I'm not sure how big your bed is, but I would suggest just letting him sleep with you. A lot of people will say "don't do it, they'll never want to leave!" which is true to a certain extent, but they will leave your bed eventually and at least in the meantine you can get some sleep. My 3 year old slept with us up until about 6 months ago, I NEVER thought she'd sleep in her own bed, but if you make it cute enough and emphasize how it's their special bed, they get to the point where they WON'T sleep with you! Not even if you ask! I have an 18 month old that is still sleeping with us and I know it's only a matter of time (probably less than a year now) before she'll sleep in her own bed, it's OK. The only negative of letting them sleep with you is not having "alone" time with my husband, although if you have a new baby on the way, that may not be an issue. Good luck with whatever you decide! (my 18 month old just started sleeping thru the night a month ago!).

Sincerely,
A.