Single Mom Advice

I am a 39 year old single new mom of a 4 month old. I was abandoned and kicked out of my house when I was 7 months pregnant with my son.
I don't care what anyone says, unless you are in the exact situation as we are, no one can relate.
I invite you to contact me directly ____@____.com is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Hi Meghan - I'm a single mom, too- even when i was married to the kids' dad; he doesn't give a penney for childsupport - even when married; i had to pay for 85% of everything (he paid rent).

I have a fantastic group of friends that I met at church; I can lean on them, have their kids over for play dates & my kids there. I recommend ASKING FOR HELP (like you just did)- if you live in Cotati, let me know, you're welcome to come over!

4 1/2 months is a wonderful age, yet can be so demanding as well! My emotions were all over the place as my body was adjusting to hormone levels changing, lack of sleep, baby demands, nursing, etc. Please encourage yourself, get connected with a playgroup, ask for tangible help! Couragous moms do that! Hope to hear back...take care, you'll be in my prayers.

Hi Meghan! I can relate to your post, and feel for you, even though I am married to a wonderful man...being a mom can be overwhelming for all of us, so I can only IMAGINE how much more so when you feel like you are alone! I agree with the other moms who said to hang in there, and know that everything we go through will pass, and it will get better - hope is the best thing in life! I agree also with those that said ask for help....you did that even with this site, and how wonderful to hear from all these different moms offering their support! It helps to know that there are others who are going through the same things.

In terms of making ends meet, we were struggling as well (my husband is a teacher but had massive school loans and other debt, and I chose to stay home with our 3 children) and I started my own home based business, which was the best decision I ever made. I love being able to set my own hours and be there to volunteer at my daughter's school (private, which I am grateful to be able to pay for myself!) and just be there for my little ones, while now matching my husband's salary! There are SO many alternatives to the 9-5 daycare routine, just be open to them. You're welcome to check out my website if you want to learn more, and feel free to contact me directly through the site: www.maureenmonaco.myarbonne.com.

I wish you the best, Meghan, and I applaud you for caring so much to reach out and try to better yourself. It's awesome that you are attachment parenting too - it's the best! :) Please let me know if you need anything at all!
Love, M. Monaco

Meghan,
I make & sell homemade soy candles. They are natural & wholesome & not paraffin which is toxic & carcinogenic. I make a killing doing this & it is always instant cash. I wanted something part-time & supplemental that I can do at home where I don't have to go drive someplace in snow or after-hours be at mercy of all the working drama. I love this. My home always smells soooo nice too so it's like aromatherapy. If you want to know more, contact me & you can sign on as a free associate like I originally did.
C.

Hello Meghan I know how you feel, I am a single mother too. My daughter is 6 yrs. old I work and go to school every day. It is hard raising a child on your own but sometimes we have to be very strong and keep our heads up. I had a dog and my daughter and I were very attached to him but unfortunately we had to give him away, because we did not have time for him. Try to keep your self busy with your child, do things that will be relaxing for you and your baby. Life is hard and sometimes you feel like crying but those moments should make you stronger and stronger. Have faith in yourself and in god, and remember to always keep your head up, every thing will pay off one day! Good luck, and sometimes we do have to make some sacrifices.If you feel that you can't keep your cat do what is right. Don't feel guilty you have your hands full with your baby. Maybe when your baby gets older you can get another cat, but I know you can never replace the one you have already, I feel the same way after I gave up my doggy. :(
I hope everything works out for you, you are not alone I bet you there are a lot of women going through the same things as we are. Strength and determination will make us stronger and happy. Take care!

Meghan,
I know what you are going thru, I am a single mother of a 13 month-old. His father is also financially responsible, he does spend time with his son, but only 1 day per week most of the time. I call on my mother to relieve me when possible, even if it's just for me to head to the store for an hour. Now that he's over a year, he should start going to his dad's overnight once in awhile, but it's still hard when you are the primary caregiver. It sure would be nice to have an extra pair of hands, wouldn't it? I actually have to work full-time and take him to daycare, which is difficult. It's nice to have a break from him everyday, but it's exhausting to work long hours and care for a child alone. I don't know what advice to give you other than it will be okay and it will get harder at times and it will get it easier as well. I am not super religious, but I have faith and it has grown since my pregnancy and I will tell you that I have put all of my trust in God and I am sure that he will give me the proper guidance -- sometimes it seems like a cruel test, but I know there are lessons in all that I am going through. Just love that little angel and PLEASE find a way to make time for yourself or you will eventually snap! Good luck to you.

Meghan,

Your are a very smart mom to reach out and ask for help, good job mom! I also want to say the responses you received already seemed to be great. One in particular Jennifer H. some people may think you have to be a bible thumper to join a church group. But I promise if your not welcomed by warm loving people turn around and leave, find a place that embraces you and your son. Not only look for other mom's to swap break time with, but tap into the senior moms at the church. More often then not there are an abundance of women who have raised their kids and have a huge heart and would love an opportunity to feel useful, while giving love to a sweet little boy. Trust me once a mom always a mom, the first time they hold and smell that sweet baby they will be hooked.

Plus most older moms (especially retired stay at home moms)miss having someone to take care of , not to mention you may find a few wonderful friends to share your life with. So often young women think they can only be pals with someone their own age, not true in fact the more seasoned a woman the better. How many catty, back stabbing, jealous grandmas do you know? I hope you find some wonderful ladies to be a part of your life, please keep looking if you do not find someone right away, I feel strongly that there are loads of great ladies to be your friend and help you with time and encouragement and wisdom.

Good luck!

Hi Meghan,

I'm a single mom of a wonderful 6 year old girl. Like some of the mom's said, even when I was married to her father I was a single mom. My sanity was saved by a wonderful group called the MOMS club. They are a great international organizaion just for stay at home moms. All you have to do is go to the site and look on the left side and it will give you a link so you can find a group in your area. It's great because you get adult time and still get to be with your baby.
http://momsclub.org/welcome.html
Please check them out, they are a huge help.
God Bless and it really does get better!

Meghan, you've gotten lots of good responses so far! You're in a tough place, no matter what. But you can do it if you rely on God's grace and work hard.

I'm been a single mom of three for three years now, and practiced attachment parenting when mine were small. It does indeed put more pressure on you when they are little, but it helps them grow up to be so much more secure! So how do you get to that point?

I would say to get rid of the animals. They just aren't a priority right now. Maybe you can have some again in the future.

Some churches have single moms' ministries that are really helpful. It's worth looking around in your area.

What about your living and working situation? It would be great if you could move in with a family member or find another single mom to share space with. It can be really helpful to divide the housework, childcare, and expenses. What if you could find an older person who needs someone to care for him/her, and would give you room and board and a little income in return for that care? This is the time to think outside the box. And that kind of work is not a business that requires time to build up.

Is there a branch of Angel Food Ministries in your area? You can get most of the food you would need for a month for about $30.

What about health care? Are there state or local resources in your area? In Houston, you could be on the Gold Card and the baby could be on CHIPS.

Best wishes to you.

Yes please spill the beans about your artwork...what kind? You can also sell artwork and other hand crafted things on the website especially designed for that: Etsy. You can open up a "store" on Etsy and feature your schtuff! I keep meaning to create batches of cards and open one up, so I can make my small biz/hobby profitable. Selling the supplies for stamping and scrapbooking is one thing, but we are able to sell finished product too.
Have Fun!
and p.s.-get kitty to the vet, sounds like uti or bladder infection....do not just put the cat outside to roam the neighborhood, especially if it's not spayed or neutered. that is not responsible cat ownership! jmho. it could get hit by a car, or in a fight w/another animal and need medical emergency attention. Only if you are in a rural area on a farm or something-where it could be a mouser would I advocate something such as putting it outside unsupervised. We have neighbor cats pooping in our yard and harrassing our cat. that's not very neighborly. sorry but that is my view.

okay, first: it will get easier. I am a single mom with 8-year-old twins. They were a mess and I too had dogs to walk, fish to feed and myself to care for with no help. If you are getting to stay home with him, that's the first step in the right direction.

I am assuming you live in an apartment. First thing I would do is, as long as the cat would be safe (i.e. has its claws) put it outside. It's bored. Without your undivided attention, it needs more things to do. It can still come in at night, or to eat, but put that poor thing out in the world. It will find a hobby, probably the neighbor's cat.

Depending on how big the dog is, put the baby in the stroller and strap up the dog and go for a walk. Yes, this takes more time than you will actually be out of the house, but it helps. Walk that bag of garbage out to the can. That will help. I promise.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, put the baby in the crib, close the door to the animals, don't worry if he is crying, walk outside and count to 100. Go check the mail. Go walk for 5 minutes. It doesn't hurt the baby for you to leave him for 5 minutes when he is safe in his crib. I PROMISE! THis saved my sanity and my children.

Don't worry about that load of dishes to be washed. Go outside, take a breath and count 20 things you love about life. Then go in, pick up the baby, sit him in the booster seat or bouncy seat on the floor next to you (as long as the dog can't get to him) and do those dishes. Sing the silliest song even Christmas at the top of your lungs! It will make the baby laugh and you too.

It will get better. I promise. Being single with a baby isn't easy, but if it were easy then everyone would want to do it! :) cheers, S.

Hi Meghan, I too am a single mom. My son is 3 and his father offers little to no finacial support and absolutly no other kind of support. I remember the days when my son was 4 moths old, 6 months old etc and I also remember crying a lot too. I heard a quote once something like this...

"I lay under my covers and cry. Thinking to myself that this is it.. Im going crazy but then I realize I don't have time for that either. I get up and keep going."

Matter of fact I read what you wrote and instantly knew where you were. I still cry but now my son is 3 and he has taught me to laugh and smile again.

I gave up a great career to start selling Real Estate (fortunatly I live in Seattle) just so I could be with my sone. We seem to always be broke....but we truley live now. Keep your head up! Let people help. Most importantly know that in time the gift of being a Single mom far outweighs everything else.

As I said I live in Seattle... if you're close let me know.

What a blessing to receive so many encouraging responses!!
I am also a single mom - 3 daughters: 13, 10, 6 - and like most of the responses said, it does get better! You still have days where you want to crawl back to bed but, you are strong and keep moving forward.
I was married for 7 years and my husband left weeks after I found out I was prgenant with my 3rd daughter - I went through the entire pregnancy without any help from him. I stayed at home for almost 5 years and at 7 months I went back to work out of necessity. It was the hardest thing to do but, you learn so many wonderful things about yourself when you go through these trials - we choose whether we become better because of them.
I have a shop at Etsy and even though my shop has only been "open" for about a month, I love the ability to share my talents...and I so need the creative outlet!!
Find a support system - most of my family lives FAR away from me so I turned to my church and to friends at work and got to know other moms where I lived. We are women and we know that sometimes we just need to let it out and don't need anything back - just a shoulder to cry on. Other times we need advice and help form those who have been through similar trials.
I haven't posted much here but, I never cease to be amazed by the countless women here who are so willing to reach out to others! "Ask and ye shall receive..." The first step is asking and you have been given a lot of valuable feedback from new friends who support you - I wish you only the best!!

Hi Meghan,
This is a great site for you and I am so pleased to see others responding. I, too, was a single Mom with a 2.5 yr old son and no financial help, it was difficult. I, too, relied on God and prayers lots of times, and almost 40 years later my son and I turned out well and fine. You do need to block out some time for yourself, which is difficult to do, but do it! Your son will reep rewards from your more relaxed state of mind.

Hi,

First off you are not alone. I am a single mother of a 14month old and I remember how it was at 4 months. Remember this is still brand new for the both of you. But I promise it will get better once your Baby is a little older. No doubt it is really hard to raise a Baby alone. But hey, you are doing it and will do it. Do you have a community of friends or family that might be able to help out a little bit?

You will continue to be overwhelmed. why? because it is overwhelming but once again you can do it. You have to make the time for you. I know when he is sleeping you probly want to take a nap too. But try and take a bath or have some tea. Just something nice for you. As he gets older you will find ways to make it easier for you. Stand strong and know that this is the best gift the universe could ever give you.

Good Luck and Single Mommy Power!!!

Being a single mom, especially of a baby, is a really tough job - I know, I'm right there with you, and I practiced attachment parenting with my daughter too. Taking care of a baby can be difficult and exhausting for anyone - especially someone who has little or no support from others. This is sometimes even more true when you're practicing attachment parenting, which requires a great deal of patience and sometimes makes you feel like your baby is overwhelming you with his needs - but the bond you'll develop with your child because of this parenting style will pay off, and I assure you, it will get easier!

Regarding your cat: I understand that you love her, and that it's difficult to imagine giving her up, but right now your baby, and your own emotional health, have to be the priority in your life. You can't be the best mother you can be when you're overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed. Right now is the time to do anything and everything that will make your life easier, and if that means giving up a pet that is making messes all over the house - thereby causing you extra work - and not getting along with your child, then it's probably time to let the cat go. If you don't want to give her to a shelter because you fear she might not be adopted, look around for no-kill shelters in the area - I know there's one somewhere in the Bloomington area (not sure where you live).

Do you have any friends you trust enough to leave your baby with them for a couple of hours, so you can get out and go see a movie, or even just have a couple of hours to yourself at home where you can take a nap or a bath, or just sit and relax? It would help you greatly to be able to just have a little break once in while, believe me! I would also say that if you are really feeling like it's becoming impossible for you to cope, you might want to seek counseling, just so you can have someone to talk with, where you can unburden yourself of your worries and maybe get some advice on ways to relieve your stress and cope better. Look up social services in your town/county, they usually can either provide inexpensive counseling or recommend places where you can seek help. Best of luck to you!

I can see how hard it is for you to be alone. All the advice to get help from those close to you is great! They will get a chance to love your baby too. As far as making ends meet, a lot of other home-based businesses are too time consuming and you lose all your friends while you try to sell them something. Inventories and parties are money and time consuming. Then you have to find more people to sell to when those people are done with you. I have a fantastic business that will get you what you need without alienating your friends and family, no inventory, and very little investment. I have found positive, healthy, and happy people to be with in my business and it always lifts me up. Plus I get residual (time and time again every month) money without it invading my family time. Email me and I would love to see if I can help you with my awesome business. (My own mother was a single mom with a 3 and 1 year old and within 6 months she was making well over $6,000/month. It's much easier now to make that kind of money in my business.)
Having your own thing is important, but making sure it doesn't take you away from your baby is most important! It can be done to stay at home and have everything you want and need! I know you can do it given the proper opportunity. How great would it be if you had all that you needed?
I hope you contact me, because I would love to help!

Hi, Meghan. I want to encourage you that it DOES get better. I think you're overwhelmed now because your son is still a baby, and he is dependent upon you for everything. In addition, you are adjusting to being a parent and you're doing it alone.

You have a big job, but what you have to remember is to stay true to who you are and raise your son knowing that you run the show. He will grow to respect you and your authority, and you will be so glad you were involved and a strong force in his life.

Money is usually an issue for most single moms because there never seems to be enough of it. Remember that children need their parents more than things, so don't let the pressure of not giving him enough things get you down. I know you're doing a great job and remember that it DOES get better!

Meghan,

It does get easier first of all. I am a single parent of a now nine year old little girl and have been since before she was born finacially and personally. First,you may want to weigh the pros and cons of keeping the cat and if you find it a good home what is there to feel bad about? It will probably be a happier cat as well with attention or other cats?

When my daughter was little I slept when she slept, even naps, made bottles the night before, when I did chores where I could not hold her she was in a swing or somethign stimulating for her, alot of times she was in her carrier strapped on my belly seeing things from my view which allowed her and I to be close as well as get things around the house done.

If you have any family or friends take a break even if it is for an hour to go for a walk or take a bath basically some time for just you! If you don't have any family or friends look for Moms in your same situation where you can exchange babysitting. You may build some great friendships as well as your baby and some Moms to reflect, vent, and laugh with!!

Crying is ok. It is those times you come to solutions when you are out or feel out of options. Writing, reading, praying and loving my baby even though she is nine now she is still my baby helped me through those rough times.

Making money at home...look online, I have heard of companies that pay for jobs to even do research online or possibly a job that allows you to be independent therefore allowing your son to come along.

Hope this helps and again remember it does get easier and you are not alone. Just keep loving that little boy with all your heart!!!

God's Blessing's
A.

Meghan,
The only advice I can give you is to hang in there!
I am also a single mom from day one. My son is heading towards 8... going on 35!!!
Some days it's really tough. Especially when he was little like that. The best thing I can tell you is that when someone offers to take him off your hands for a night, let them!!!! Don't feel guilty about taking "you time". You are going to need it.
And I always try to make some special time for just us.
As your son gets older, you will start to balance the scale.
It is not an easy task, but it is do-able.
Keep your head up!
R.
One Woman Spa
###-###-####

I am a single mom too of a 6 year old, but have been a single mom since he was two. It does get easier. I promise you that and the love of a boy and his mom is amazing. Lean on your friends and let them help you. I was in a .."I can do this all by myself..mode for a bit. Do not do that. Your friends want to help so let them. Get in to some group activites like Little Gym etc. I have met some great friends through Little Gym or programs like that. Hang in there and you can do it! I am living proof it gets easier and you can survive!

K., single mom in Dallas

Try the ergo baby carrier.
www.ergo.com

or www.ergobaby.com

I tried all of the slings wraps,carriers ,this one saved my life as a single mother with no father in the picture.
before it I did everything with her in my arms ( i learned to do just about everything ,except the dishes!)My back was breaking and I was miserable most of the time.
after,ahhhhh,my life became ten times easier.She is 2 and I still use it ALOT!!

Take time for yourself,take time for yourself,take time for yourself, even if it is a walk around the block it will do wonders.
I know this is almost impossible ,but do take the opportunity whenever you get a chance.

the thing I earned about lack of sleep is your body actually adjusts itself, our body is an amazing machine.The first 6 months really are the hardest,after a while you will find that 3 hours sleep feels like a good nights rest!

It gets easier, it really does. this is the hardest time, embrace it and be in the moment with it.
trying to think about being in another situation or wishing it could be different will only make it worse!!!

be present with that beautiful child,the most precious gift you will ever recieve and Enjoy!!!
This will not last forever.

love and light,
S.

I wish you all the best. I know more about cats than being a single-mom. She is obviously peeing out of jealousy- a few things you can try-
1. If she normally sleeps with you, go and get her and still take her to bed when you finally lay down (even for naps). It may take a few nights for her to stay there, but she will realize that is her time.
2. Buy her some new toys and cat treats. My cats will play with cat-nip stuffed toys and fake mice for hours.
3. If nothing else- contain her in one room for a few days. Pick a room she likes, so its not torture, but one that can be easily cleaned. Give her a litter box, food and water, a toy, make her a comfy bed and visit her when you can. Get the room ready, then put her in it immediately after she pees- or as soon as you can. Put her nose in the pee, tell her NO, then into the room.
The first 2 days visit her without the baby, then start bringing the baby with you in her room, so she gets used to him. Begin letting her out of the room for small periods of time, once she pees immedialtely put her back in.
This may seem like a lot of effort given all you have to deal with, but having her out of the way for a few days will give you a break, hopefully will break her habit, and you won't have to give her away.
Please ask me any more pet questions- especially if you try #3.
Good luck!

It does get easier - for me it was actually easier to be a single mom. I have a 5 year old daughter, he daughter left when she was 3 - prior to that he worked 80 hours a week and went to school full-time. So I was pretty much a single mom, but still had to deal with him. It does get easier, but you will still have dark times. (see pic, this is not to scare you - more to make you laugh - which after the fact I have done, after all the crying...http://www.flickr.com/photos/daisiemai/2278177720/)
Find friends, take time for you, take time to cry, when people offer to help, take them up on it. Sometimes it is nice to just go to friends house with the baby and have grown up talk. I am in a relationship, so my daughter has a stepdad and they get a long great - but in my mind I will always be a single mom.

She is mine, all mine - I was raised by a single mom, honestly I am better for it. I am accomplished in my career, I am a strong, independant woman. I look at my half sister at the age of 18 and wonder is she really ready to step out into the world, she had a "perfect" childhood. My dad and stepmom have been married 26 1/2 years, they don't fight, they love eachother more today then the day they got married. While I would love that, I wonder if it does our children justice for the world that waits for them...

Meghan,

I know it is very difficult with you making ends meet.

However, there is a very very simple way that you could
"pull" yourself out of this situation.

Have you ever considered a "home-based business"?

It is so easy. If you are interested in finding out how
this can be done, and I WOULD HELP YOU LEARN HOW TO DO IT,
then please call me at ###-###-####, and ask me to return
the call to you. I also have an 800 number, but you can
just call me and I will call you back.

My email is ____@____.com

Sincerely,

G.

Hey there. My hubby travels every week so I get a taste 50% of the time at being a single parent. But, I do get a break so I feel your pain. I have two boys 4 1/2 and 22 months. Hang in there! Just make sure you take care of yourself and accept help anytime someone offers!

I did want to share this site where you can sell your artwork www.etsy.com. I sell some on there myself. The fees are much cheaper than ebay and you can keep the items up longer until they sell. If you have ?'s, let me know. Good luck. Let me know if you try it out!
-MB

We'd like to hear more about your ART

Hey, I know you have a lot of suggestions for looking into a home based business opportunity as a way to try and alleviate some stress. I have ventured into that avenue myself and can only echo what others have said. It's great to be your own boss and set your own hours, but make sure you are realistic about it. If you need the income, you have to work at it. There are some people that think you can just make millions doing 4 hours of work a week! That isn't true. Having said that, you do have the flexibility to set hours around your (and your baby's) schedule. That has been a hug blessing for me. I am a mother of three.
You mentioned being an artist and I thought I would suggest then, if you are looking into the direct sales market, that you check out www.StoriesULove.com I think it might be along similar lines of what you already enjoy.
Best of luck to you and Congrats on the positive news!

Hey Meghan!!

I'm there with you!! I am the single mother of 3 beautiful kids (8, 7 and 6 months). My older two have the same father who provides no child support or any other type of assistance. My baby's father does help somewhat financially and on occasion takes the kids off my hands. Yes, it starts off very difficult, but you know what, stressing yourself doesn't make it any better. What I had to force myself to remember is that my children have grandparents, they have aunts, they have cousins, etc.

You need, for the sake of your sanity, to start asking for their help to take your son off your hands a couple of evenings a week, a weekend or two a month, or even just for a few hours. It does wonders!

In reference to his father, even though he helps you financially, he needs to help you in this aspect as well. I am kind of going through something similar with my baby's father where he wants "ad hoc" visitation instead of a schedule. That doesn't work for me, because it is hard for me to schedule skincare classes, etc., so you need to demand a commitment. If he doesn't want it, take it to court. You have to. It is your right. That way you will be able to plan things to work around your financial concerns.

Pray. Pray. Pray. I did and do a LOT of it! God always comes through!

Good luck momma!

Love - D.

PS: if you lived in the Maryland area, I'd watch your son for you so you can have some "you time."

Hopefully things are getting a little easier for you. I myself have been having a lot of trouble. I just celebrated my 30th birthday. I have a 10 year old, 4 year old, and 9 month old and a full tim job. When I had my first son I was 19. Him and I got our own place when he was 2 so I feel your pain. It was hard. The best thing I can say is to set goals for yourself. A good thing is to find another mom that has one child and set up a swap where you babysit one night and then she does the next night. This will give you sometime by yourself with no kids to keep your sanity, possibly a date night, or work on becming happier. I posted an add trying to find someone to help me as well. Good luck with everything.

Meghan,
I am a single mom of a 6 1/2 year old.
You can do it!
Some days are harder than others, but it gets easier.

Take it all into persepctive, these days are the easiest. Feed them, bath them, etc....
All kids become teenages one day, that is the true test of being a good parent.

Good Luck!

Hi Meghan,
My name is M. & I'm a single mom as well. Yes I'll admit it is very hard. I too got little help from the dad other than the every other week. Luckily I had alot of support from friends & family which I hope you have as well. It's alot to take on when you have kids, household to run & any pets(I have 2 cats). At times I thought I would have a nervous breakdown cause I also work full time and someone has to pay the bills. We all have our moments but I can also promise you that it will get better. My son is now 15 years old. I look at him & think of everything I've had to go through at times to make ends meet & try to provide for him but I do it & keep doing it cause there's nothing more important in life than your kids:)

I feel your pain and exhaustion. Things will get better.It might help to continue the prenatal vitamins and let your vet know that you need a new home for the cat. When my kids were born, I had to become an expert in simplifying life. I went to the closest grocery store, the closest gas station, the closest everything. I cooked only the easiest meals and gave up on my hair for a few months. After a while things fall into place. Don't be afraid to call on family and friends to help out. Most friends are happy to help.

Find the cat a new home. I think the best thing is to simplify your life as much as possible so you have energy for your new life as a mom. I am blessed to have a lot of help from my folks but my son's father is totally out of the picture. Some nights I'd give anything to have someone there just to handle his late night cry's so I could get some good sleep! It helps to know there are other women out there doing it on their own as well. And don't be afraid to cry... sometimes a good cry is the best thing for a sleep deprived new mother. Finding other mom's to talk about tips, stresses, and the exciting developments of your son is wonderful too...let me know if you ever just need to talk. : )

Meaghan-
I feel your pain, and YES it gets easier, i promise. I am a single mom of a 5 year old and very soon to be 4 year old. I work full time and do get child support from my ex husband. I too get no help from him, except a break every other weekend and a night during the week, which is extremly helpful. If you dont get breaks like this, i suggest you ask friends and family to committ a night a week or every other week. You will be surprised how much family and friends will help you out. I am one to not ask for help, and you just need to learn to do this. I think it flatters people if you just ask.
Yes it will get easier once your little one gets older, believe me i was a wreck almost every day and did not think i could make it. Both kids screaming and through tantrums in the morning and trying to get them ready for school almost through me over the edge. I also would clean and cook when the kids were either gone or in bed, that way you will have food ready and you dont have to worry about cooking when they kids are having meltdowns.
If you need to get rid of the cat to make your life easier, then do this. You can always get another one when the time is right. Dont stress yourself out because of the cat, it is not worth it. You and your child i would hope be more of a priority.
My biggest saving grace was swaping babysitting with friends and or family. They watch your child and you watch theirs. Try and find a friend or family memeber who will designate time to watch your child, and maybe you can swap with them, plus your kid will have fun playing with other kids!
Good luck and yes it gets easier hang in there

I can sympathize with you in the department of overwhelming. I was a single mother until 6 months ago with 3 sons and ZERO support from their dad. It is mind boggling how i made it through caring for my kids working part time and carrying 22 Units per semester, while still getting them to day care and all boy scout events.

I know pets are important but if they are too much you can give them up to help relieve stress on yourself. You czan't howerver give up on your child.

Once things are settled and you find your groove you can get pets again or just loan them out on vation and after you get settled they can come home.

Good luck- it will all work out.

I dont know how one can make ends meet without working. You are very lucky to get any financial support from the father. There are many moms, like my own that had to do it all on their own.
You definitely need to take a break every once in a while and have someone watch your son that way you can have your own mommy time to keep from going crazy.

To all you single moms or otherwise moms struggling financially:

I also have small children and was in need of extra money. But like many moms, did not want to trade my kid time for money. I have since started my a home based business and I have changed my life. I have met so many other SAHM's through this company and have found not only financial support but also big girl (me) support. Please contact me if you would like to hear more. I love to share this with other moms. we are all in the same boat, wanting to be with our kids, but money can become an issue.

If your cat is peeing all over the place, take it to the vet. My cat was doing that and the vet said that it was a bladder infection. After she started the meds, she quit doing that.

Meghan,
Hang in there! It takes a lot of energy being a mom. We all feel overwhelmed sometimes.

What do you do? What are your interests? Have you ever considered owning your own business?

I find much support and positive energy from my home based- business. It might be something for you to take a peek at to look at options, in order for you to have the time to devote to your son. If you are interested in hearing more about my health and wellness business which has products for mom and baby, please feel free to contact me for samples and more information.

Best Regards,
L. McDonald

Meghan - I can completely relate to your story! I left my child's father while I was still pregnant with my son. He was so livid towards me, he wouldn't have anything to do with his son, just to spite me. I've raised my child physically, emotionally and financially 100% on my own since he was born. He's now almost 15 and I'm already worrying about how much I'm going to miss him when he goes off to college in 4 years!!

Trading babysitting with friends is a great idea! It's free, and the time off from being a mom is incredible. If you can, try to give yourself a break at least once a month.

One thing I truly believe in (and sadly, don't see enough of)is teaching kids manners and responsibility early on. It really makes it easier on you as well. Teach your child behavior that is expected early on. Also, even toddlers can assume some responsibility, even if it's something as simple as getting their own diaper out of the bag, or throwing an empty can in the trash for you. It's small things, but as they grow older, the responsibility can increase. My son has always been well-mannered and willing to help me out, even into the crazy selfish teen years. I may have to ask him for help more than I used to, but he still does help when asked. :)

I'm also a pet owner. My cat was also very jealous and peed everywhere too!! I wouldn't give her up though. That's a personal decision. And if you need to do it, you should. I just couldn't do it myself though. I would also set aside 1/2 hour before I went to bed to watch TV or read and just unwind. During this time, I'd put her in my lap and gave her attention. Sometimes I'd fall asleep in the chair and the attention wasn't mcuh, but even a little time with her exclusively helped curb the jealousy. She learned to patiently wait for me at the end of the day to sit down and give her some attention. My cat is still around, 19 years old, and still waits for me at the end of the day to sit down. She still climbs in my lap and expects her attention at the end of the day.

I know it's hard. Really hard at times. But it does get easier. Hang in there. Find a parent group, or a support system through friends, family, and even online. You're not alone.