*Sigh* :( I Feel like a Horrible Momma...

Updated on May 24, 2011
A.R. asks from Rocky Face, GA
25 answers

Today while I was getting groceries out of my trunk, I had several bags in both hands and a gallon of milk as well. As I was about to shut my trunk my daughter (3.5 yrs) came running up to the trunk and started to reach something in it but I had already started to shut it, so I went to push it back up before it slammed so her little fingers wouldn't get shut and I turned and bumped her forehead with the gallon of milk :( She was so mad at me...She said MAMA!!!! YOU HURT ME!!! and I kept saying Mama is sorry, baby, it was an accident :( I asked her if it hurt a few minutes after and she said no...I still feel horrible. I was just worried because the milk is so heavy, but she seems to be ok. Ughhh, my nerves get the best of me.

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M.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

If this is the first time you've slammed her head (accidentally) into something then you should just be happy with that! haha! kids are resilient she must have seen how upset you were and played on that! trust me, she's FINE!

5 moms found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Relax... it happens.
She would have been REALLY mad if you got her fingers caught in the trunk... And you would have felt far worse.
You are a good mom.
Hang in there.
LBC

5 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

It happens to the best of us. She's fine and she'll forgive you and be over it before dinner. Although, if she is any sort of "comedian", you will hear about it for ages.... LOL
Just think if you hadn't hit her with the milk.... she'd have smushed fingers!

4 moms found this helpful

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

So which is worse, smashing her fingers in the trunk or getting bumped in the head with a milk jug?

You know you did not hurt her and you know it was an accident - so don't it let it bother you. My daughter is the same age and they can be such "drama mamas"! I could be helping my daughter get dressed or something and accidentally scratch her with a fingernail or whatever - it doesn't even leave a mark but she will yell "Ow! You hurt me!" and give me a major pouty face. I don't let it phase me or even give it any thought - I tell her, you're fine, now cut it out. And that's the end of it.

Let it go, she's fine.

9 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Why would you feel bad about that? We don't need to protect our kids from EVERY bump and scrape. That is so unrealistic. You saved her from a possible broken wrist or fingers, which is pretty serious and very painful! Your daughter is old enough for you to be honest with her and let her know that had she made a more thoughtful choice than rushing you while your hands were full, she wouldn't have gotten bumped on the head!

7 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ugh, I squashed our childs fingers in the car door one time.. I felt terrible.. She was crying so hard, I knew it hurt terribly.. It was right before a Christmas show was to sing in for daycare.. She did not sing a word, she just stood up there holding ice on her hand.

I apologized so many times that night, but I was also so mad at her, because I had told her every time, I was about to close the door "hands in your lap".. She every once in a while would still wave her hand at the door..

Then I felt guilty for blaming her.

Good news? She never waved her hands at the door and she learned to remind herself, "hands in my lap".

I also learned to say, take 2 steps back so you do not get hurt. Or, do not run , it is slippery and you will get hurt. She learned I was not kidding.

5 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

LOL--sorry, but you will always remember this. And eventually, you will laugh about it.
We still howl about the tie my mom was making toast for my son...she was "in the fridge", grabbed a (glass) jar of jelly, sung around saying "want some jelly on that..." WHACK! Hit him right in the noggin.
Now the joke is "HERE's your jar of jelly!"

4 moms found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Wow, sorry I can't be more sympathetic but you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of trouble if you don't get a more realistic perspective. Your daughter was not hurt by the milk, just startled. Apologizing once is fine but anything more just plays into your daughter's perception. She is looking to you to explain things rationally, not giving in to her fears. This is the same thing when a child falls down, isn't really hurt, but looks to the parent for a reaction. If you just dust them off and say, "you're okay", they'll go on about their business. If you make a huge scene, they'll think something is really wrong and start crying. Please look up the definition of horrible in the dictionary. I think you'll find your actions don't even come close. Stop creating mountains out of molehills now or be prepared for a lifetime of uphill climbs.

3 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

You should have been honest with your child that a bump on the head from a plastic jug feels a WHOLE lot better than broken fingers or wrist.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Ah, the first of many guilt trips. Glad her little fingers are okay, and move on. Of course you feel horrible, but now give yourself permission to stop.

3 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Here's a better one for you so you won't feel so bad. My friend was shoveling snow this year with her little one on the driveway. She didn't realize he was so close to her, and she shoveled up some snow and went to throw it and hit him in the head with the shovel. I don't remember how many stitches he had in his face, but it was quite a few. And bruises too. AND a trip to the ER.

Really, slamming her fingers in the trunk would have been worse. Good for you that you stopped her!

3 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Don't feel bad! Today, my daughter jumped out of the hotel pool and needed to go potty, so we went into the adjoining bathroom and I pulled her suit down and set her on the potty. Well, soon I realized that I hadn't pulled her suit down far enough and gave it a tug, and she went flying! I forgot how hard it is to get a wet suit off of wet skin!!!!! :)
She pinched her finger in the toilet seat in the process and bawled her head off. I felt horrible!

Accidents happen! Thank goodness children don't often hold grudges!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

my son in law did basicaly the same thing when my grandson was 5. he had the groceries in his hands and the milk etc. turned out of the truck and bumped the door shut with his hip. my grandson was in his blindspot and standing right there. 3 hours and 5 stitches in his head later he was telling everyone that daddy closed his head in the car door. so nope your not a bad mama. she will get over it lol. and be glad you bumped her with something cold and rounded as opposed to say a sharp box corner or soup cans.

2 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

No use crying over bumped milk?
From hence forth, your name shall be quick-as-lightning-klutzy-with-milk Mama. You're kid's fingers are not broken, thanks to your fast reflexed.

Wish I was that fast. I am not. Yesterday I slammed my daughter's hand in the door. A little ice, and a chance to tell the story of how, "Mama REALLY really hurt me. She hu't me BAD, seeeeee, look at my fingahs, looooook, they really hu'ting me. Oh mama, that really hu't me bad. Don't do that again Mama. Don't hu't my finguhs." and she was back out on her bike (riding and falling).

Sometimes life hurts. When we're little, we (hopefully) get to deal with the manageable stuff - a scrapped knee, a bruised ego, you know, the "easy" stuff. It prepares us for later, when we still get hurt, and still have to keep on living.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

when my son was little, I was trying to use one of those over the counter remedies to "burn" warts off. Well, I left the thingy on his hand for too long, and I burned a hole right in his skin, and he still has a burn scar today, and he is 15. He still reminds me of it, but he kind of laughs about it now, saying "wow mom, didn't you know...." haha

2 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Wow, and you didn't even drop the milk? ;-)

We took our daughter to get pictures taken at a studio when she was two and we changed her into the cute dress in their dressing room. They had a mirror with light bulbs all around it and she wanted to see herself. I lifted her up there so she could see. Of course the first thing she did was reach out and touch the really hot light bulb and burn her fingers. We thought the photo shoot was over... So in a couple minutes she stopped crying and went out and posed for the cutest pictures. The minute the pictures were done, she started crying again while holding her burned hand...

2 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I hit my 8 yr old son right in the eye with a badmitten birdie on Saturday. It was very red and watey but he is ok. I said I was sorry at least 5 times. He still reminded me about it today. Good thing he has a good sense of humor because he knew I was VERY sorry, but I still joked about using it for future punishment :)

2 moms found this helpful
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P.S.

answers from Houston on

oh, she'll be alright. unless the jug was made out of glass? :)

Don't feel bad. There is no way anyone can be graceful when it comes to bringing in the groceries, kids or no kids.

Kiss her and hug her extra long tonight if you still feel guilty!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.J.

answers from Louisville on

Yeah kids have a way of making us feel guilty sometimes. LOL But think of the alternative, she could have had her hand shut in the trunk and that definitely would have hurt for real. So a good mommy you are as you saved your little one from some sore smashed fingers and/or hand. Way to go supper Mommy!! :-)

2 moms found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Providence on

All I have to say is-good reflex! My mother had her finger slammed in a car door by her little sister, and her nail never was the same..If it were me, I would have gone with the gallon of milk..I have bumped my son in the forehead with my elbow countless times now that he is taller, and walks right up to me..It happens to all of us!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well, I was at a store looking around trying to get things on my list.... I twirl around to look back at something, I 'bump' into my son rather hard, and he fell down. He then said LOUDLY "MOMMY YOU HURT ME!" In the store.
Oh my.
I explained it was an accident, I did NOT know he was RIGHT behind me, and I am sorry.
He then says "that's okay Mommy."
But I felt so stupid.

I can be a clumsy, Mom.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

oooh man!! takes me back 9 years.....I had taken my then 2 year old out of the minivan for pre-school (he went part time) and he reached in the door and grabbed for a toy - as I was CLOSING the door - his little fingers were caught! OH MY GOD!! I don't panic but I started crying...took him inside and the Director got ice for him. He had cried, but not too much - he was upset that I was upset!!

She will get over it. Mistakes and accidents happen! YOU DID NOT mean to do this!!!

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

I agree with what everybody else has to say, but I think it might also be a good idea to learn from this experience and perhaps unload the groceries and then go back to close the trunk when your hands are empty. Take care!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

It sounds like you are a very good mama! Those little things happen. I know how you feel though! I had my son in a bathtub seat once and tried to get him out quickly because his leg was stuck, but I ended up hurting him more in my haste. He got a nice bruise on the leg :-(

Don't worry, you are still the world to her!
D.

1 mom found this helpful
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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

Milk is heavy but soft and bouncy. I am sure it didn't hurt her and it surely did not hurt her as much as if her fingers had been closed in the trunk. Don't feel bad, but I would use it as a teaching moment while also taking the guilt off of you. I would reinact it happening tomm and show her if you had not seen her little fingers and reacted the way you did so quickly, how her fingers would have been smashed and possibly broken in the trunk. Then explain how you had no choice. Don't feel guilty, the milk is nothing....you saved her little fingers. :o)

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