Siblings Fighting During Bedtime, What Should I Do?

OH Wow. Did I write this???? LOL. I sure could have except my son is the 4 year old and my daughter is the 2 year old. They just started fighting like cats and dogs right before the baby came 4 months ago. Maybe that is part of it. But our solution was to give the oldest his own room and the youngest sleeps in our room. So all three are seperated. I would not put a 2 year old in the same room as a tiny baby. Not at all a safe move. Not saying the 2 year old would purposely hurt the baby but 2 year olds don't know how to handle a baby if it should cry and my son when he was 2 tried to pull his sisters arm and leg through the bars of the crib. He was trying to HOLD her cuz she was crying. She had bruises from that. Ever since we have just had the baby in our room. To be safe. LOL. He didn't mean it and loved his sissa but it was something we had to do. She did go in his room when she was about 6-7 months old. but she was also sleeping in a playpen at that point. the crib we had at the time as just a small one from the 50's (family)
I hope you get some good advice as to what to do. I myself should write in and see what advice I can get to get them to quit fighting. They just seem like they can't stand each other. Must be the age! Its funny one second they are hugging and then the next they are screaming and hitting. crazy. Talk laterz. J.

I don't know that this will help the fighting or not, but maybe the playing. We let our girls (now 4 & 5) have 2-3 books in bed that they can "read" at bedtime. They can't get up, but they can sit in bed and "read" until they are ready to sleep. Sometimes they just aren't ready for sleep or need some "downtime" to relax. Maybe if they have something to occupy them they won't get up and play or focus on picking on each other. Worth a try!

We have had our oldest fall asleep in our bed when situations like this come up. My husband usually takes him to the bathroom before we go to bed, so he just puts him in his own bed after that.

I would tell them that it's night night time and to shut their eyes, be quiet and go to sleep. Tell them that they can play together tomorrow but for right now it's time to sleep. The quicker they go to sleep the faster morning will come and they can play then. Tell them that you are giving them a warning and the next time they play, talk, fight or leave the room you will come back and take their toy away (assuming they go to bed with a favorite item).

Are their naps too late in the day where they're not tired or are they going to bed too soon? Maybe they need to run around more during the day to tire them out?

I run into this issue all the time and we nap late in the day at 3pm and wake at 5:30pm and my husband wants them in bed by 8pm but they're not ready by then. They go in bed around 9-9:30pm if we nap that late.

I found that our youngest is the one causing the grief and I have threatened to take her toy away if she comes out of the room and when I see her I take it away. She fusses and I give her another warning that if she comes out again I will start taking her pillow then her blanket until she's sleeping on the wood under her mattress. I tell her to stay in her bed and go night night or I will keep taking things away from her. I got it to the point where I had her toy, pillow and blankets. She was throwing the biggest fit but that's the consequence to her choice. I told her it was her choice because she knew what I'd do if she didn't stay in bed and go night night. I then talked to her and asked that she lay down in bed and she said okay. I told her that I will give her stuff back if she stays in her room and asked her if she'll stay in her bed now and she said yes. I gave it all back and things were great.

As hard as it is if she didn't stay in bed after that I would have to hold my ground and keep it until morning but that's so darn hard to do.

Good luck to you.

You could try a chart for each of them and then tell them that if they go 5 or 7 days without goofing around or fighting, they will earn something they want.

I find that this works better than taking stuff away when I'm trying to get my kids to do something.

Good luck.

Welcome to parent hood of toddlers and preschoolers. There is different things you can try. Your son doesn't like being alone in his room and is frightened, so he does cry, your daughter needs her space and her own room. If you have baby monitors you may change them around so he will hear your talking and moving around, letting him know he isn't alone in his own room, you didn't just go away. This is also a time of learning to be scared of the unknown. You could let him pick out a cd of calming childerns music and let him go to sleep to that. It would be giving his mind something to occupy it. You could even buy a cheap pair of walkie talkies and let him and his sister talk quietly to each other with those until he is more comfortable. When the baby is a little older and your oldest son is sleeping well on his own in his room, put the baby in with him if room is tight. There was a time I had my daughter and son who were 17 months apart shared a room while their little baby brother who is 4 years younger then the middle child had his own but then when he was about 6 months old I moved his crib in with the bunkbeds and made the 3rd bedroom into a play room until the kids were a little older then I moved my daughter into her own room again. One thing about children, they are pretty easy to adjust after just a few nights.

Whatever you choose to do always remember "This too shall pass" when they are fighting, crying, and even when they are angels so keep your cool and give them loads of hugs and cuddles while they still allow it.

Put a cd player in their room and let them listen to a fun cd as long as they stay in bed. If they get out of bed they lose the music. I had to take the night light out of my boys' room because they were just screwing around.
Another thing you could do is tell them that if it takes an hour/half hour for them to get settled down that they'll go to bed an hour/half hour earlier the next night.
Good luck, consistency is the best thing.
J.
Mom to 4, ages 6, 5, 4, and 2 :o)