Should We Have a Third Child--me, over the Age of 35. - Plano,TX

I had my first at 32 and second at 37. They are 4 1/2 years apart and get along great but the oldest is a girl and the youngest a boy and she thinks of him as 'hers'. So far there hasn't been much 'he's playing with my toys' but I'm waiting for the preteen years.
I've heard the 3rd really changes things because you've run out of hands and there's not one parent per child but if your kids are 6 and 4 when the baby arrives they don't need as much of your undivided attention and can help you out so they can be involved. You'll have a 'middle' child which seems to get lost in the shuffle, too.
This is a big decision for your family. What's hubby say? What about the kids? 35 isn't that old so don't rush if you aren't sure. Good luck on deciding.

Hi L.! From a medical point of view, having a kid after 35 is not that risky unless you have any complications on your previous pregnancies. To minimize the risk of complications during pregnancy and on the baby, there are tests to confirm some problems, like amniocenthesis. Related to your uterus, it's been three years after the birth of your son, so your uterus has healed because after 18-24 months is less risk for the uterus. As a mom, having kids is the most wonderful blessing God gives us. If you and your husband have the desire, the economic advantage of having another child, you should go ahead. The age difference is no problem. I have two kids, my daughter is 14 and my son is 5, and they get along very good. My daughter loves her brother and my son adores his sister. I hope this helps.

it is very normal to have two close and the third later. if you think you want it, do it. Otherwise, 5 years from now you will be sad that you didn't do it.

My brothers are 5 and 6 years older than me and I also have a half brother that is 8 yrs old and a half sister which is 7 yrs old. I was ALWAYS spoiled by my parents and my brothers and my sister was always mean to me and jealous of me but other than that I had a GREAT and CLOSE relationship with ALL my brothers.
I had my 1st son when I was 20 and had my 2nd(last) son when I was 35. I was high risk with both of them and In my heart I really want another baby but unfortunately I am single and divorced and have no one in my life so I doubt it will happen.

My advice to you, If your doctor okayed it then I would say GO FOR IT! The more the merrier.

By the way 35 is NOT old, I heard of women having children over the age of 40 and were completely healthy.

Good Luck and God Bless!

I don't have 3 kids, I have 2. So my opinion may not be worth much to you. I've thought about this subject long and hard for my own personal reasons. But all the reasons you have listed above wouldn't stop me from having a 3rd child if my husband and I really wanted one. I don't think your age is that much of a problem personally. Both of my kids were born at an older age than 35 and they're fine and I'm fine. The risks are there of course so take them into consideration. But I would be more worried if I were closer to 40.

The family dynamic will be harder in some ways because there's more people to accommodate. But like someone else said, the older children will probably love having a baby around and you'd be amazed at how much a 6 year old can help you. In fact, I think having 3 kids spaced this way would be easier than having them all under the age of 4 or something like that. Mainly because your oldest child will be in school during the day and when they are home, they won't need to be held or helped to go to the bathroom or anything like that. They're more self-sufficient than a preschooler. However, they will have homework which you'll have to fit into the routine.

I only have 2 children because I know without a doubt that a 3rd child would overwhelm me. And I definitely don't agree that 2 children is the same as having 1. But that's just me. What I think is hard may not be hard to you. If you really want another child, then I think that the added work to have it is not going to bother you so much because of the reward and blessing of having another child in your family.

I'm rambling. Good luck with your decision.

Hi L.,
1st of all You are NOT old.....more and more women are just starting their families at your age.
I have 6 children...24yrs down to 1yr old....I am almost 43 years old. My 5th pregnancy, I had some problems with my placenta coming away from the uterus....I had to be careful with that pregnancy, but I got along fine. I was 36yrs old at that time. With my last baby...age 41 at delivery....I went to a OBGYN that specialized in "high risk" births just to be safe because of my age and my previous baby.
If your Doc gave you the OK...then GO FOR IT!!! Just take it easy and take care of yourself!
As for the family dynamics...the more the merrier! Your kids will welcome and love a new baby just as you will. It will be an adjustment for everyone....but then so is any change in life. It will be easier at this point in your life than 3-4 years down the road.
Now for the difference in ages....my 8 year old is SOOOOOO wonderful with the baby...She has 2 mommys some days. It is a great way for the older kiddos to become responsible learn to be selfless.
It is such a wonderful thing to see the love that older children have for little ones, expecially with a big age gap.

My (other)older children are just as crazy about her. They don't live at home so they don't get to interact as much.

Big families are a blast. I have 7 brothers and 1 sister and the holidays are a BLAST. Nothing beats big family.

My advise....Pray about it, talk about it, then Pray about it some more, then if you feel it is right, GOD BLESS!!!
Don't let anyone tell you you are to old to have a child at the age of 35. You will be amazed at howd much more pacience you will have.

Hi L.,

My sisters are 5 and 7 years older than I am and I never liked it. They always had each other, I was "alone". (I always have shared a bedroom with one of my sisters till I was 12, and they were really nice to me, but still...) esp. when I was 10 - 15 years old, and they had left the house for college and I was alone with my parents...

My mother in law got pregnant when she was 39, and my 'little brother" has Down syndrome. So: never under estimate the risks when you're getting older. (I love my little brother though)

So far the negative part.

About family dynamic. In my opinion going from 2 to 3 children is "easy". But going from 1 to 2 is such a difference. One child you can take everywhere with you. You can let him sleep on a sofa or on the floor wherever you are, never a problem. But with 2 you can not do that anymore, so you have to go home for naptime. With one I was never on a schedule, he was just on my schedule. With 2 I was always on a schedule, always planning. When nr.3 came, we were already on a schedule, so it was "easy" to fit his schedule in the big family schedule. (don't know about when they will be 9,7 and 6 and they all play soccer at different times... must be hard to have a schedule then. I hope i will have learned it by that time)

So if you think 2 is easy, 3 will be easy for you too. And 3 kids still fit in one car. (With 4 you have a problem with that.)

You have to figuere it out for yourself (succes!), these are just a couple of thoughts...

Don't know about the thin uterus.

Take care, I.
(3 boys, 4,5 year, 2,5 year, 1 year)