Hey there and happy Friday!
If you can stand yet another potty training question, here goes.
I mentioned a few weeks ago that we dove headfirst into potty training my nearly 3 year old daughter. When I say dove in, I went straight for the undies with diapers at bedtime/quiet time.
It didn't go well because she would just hold her pee and prance around the house, begging us to hold her. She would initially sit on the potty but after a few days was dead-set against it. Then she constipated herself for over a week.
Back to diapers we went, at least until she unconstipated herself.
She recently started preschool, and on the first day, the teacher said she went on the potty! Yay!
We reintroduced it at home with a brand new potty which she seems to be OK with. OK, in the sense that she is more open to sitting on it but still wont' go.
We also put her in pull-ups, which to me are still useless because she still won't go in the potty. She will even ask, when bottomless, for me to put a pull-up on, meaning she has to go. I will ask her to try the potty before I put a pull-up on and she will, but still won't go.
Should I just take away the pull-ups? She obviously does not want to use the potty, even though she knows she has to go.
Appreciate the diverse thoughts on here!
x0
yep, eliminate the pullups. She's "using" them....all pun intended!
I firmly believe you should pick one method & stick to it....right down to the potty chair. The more you buy, the more choices you offer....the longer you are allowing her to delay.
& I firmly believe this also applies to the constipation issues. Diarrhea, yes, use a diaper. Constipation, no. Good Luck!
She's not ready, I would go back to diapers and just let the whole thing go. I think pull-ups are a pain because you have to take the pants OFF to change them. I've never been a fan of them. If potty training becomes a struggle, then it's time to back off.
You might get a number of replies that say to take away the pull-ups, but I have another suggestion. I had one child that was doing the withholding thing for poop, not pee, so it might be different, but I started off letting him have the pull-up when he asked for it. I was happy that he was recognizing when he needed to go and worked on that before pushing where he needed to go.
So you could put her in underwear and have her ask for the pull-up when she has to go. But also put her in the bathroom so she learns that it is the place to go potty and then put the pull-up on her in the bathroom. You can make it an extra long effort to clean her up afterwards if you want and calmly say, "When you are ready, we can go in the potty and then it will go much faster."
As a second step, you can also have her sit on the potty in the pull-up. So she still has the comfort of (or control over) the pull-up, but is learning that she sits on the potty to go.
Lastly you can cut a hole in the pull-up and have her sit on the potty if necessary as a last step before ditching the pull-ups.
Also, if she doesn't see you go, have her go with you to the bathroom so she sees that it's normal. Have her hand you the toilet paper if possible and let her flush.
It took us a while to get through this stage, but it was less stressful all around.
Pull-ups are really no different than diapers. If you want her to be potty trained, you'll have to take them away. (She may still need them at night, but wait and see how that goes.)
If it makes you feel any better, most kids do go through the phase of really not wanting to go on the potty. Think of it this way - up until now, she has ALWAYS gone in a diaper, so the toilet feels really weird! Sometimes a little potty chair is the way to go at first, as it's not so intimidating, and there's not that feeling of fresh air and splashy water underneath them as they go.
She can't hold it forever - just take away the Pull-Ups and keep trying with the potty. :)
What ever you decide.. be consistant. Either go back to diapers, use the pull ups for a while, or jump into under pants (except at night, my 4 year old still has pullups for night time).
Do not make a fuss about her going. Get a sticker/smile chart and just give her one when she does. Starting out with postive reinforecment. Work towards something 5 sitckers/smiles .. she picks the meal, or what ever "special" thing works for you and her. Could be she gets to pick out the next box of cereal. But if she does not go, just reminder her that she could have gotten a smile/sticker which leads to bigger and better things. Once she sees that you are not making a big deal, she might be more willing to go in the potty. She migth just not be ready? Find out what they do at school if they do go.. try to implement the same thing.
I know once you start this trek, keep going.. dont go back to diapers tomorrow and then back to undies the next day.. keep it consistant.
Good Luck
I took them away when it wasn't going well, waited about a month and he wanted to try so we did pull ups again for a few days and it was easy and now he is three days in underwear, even overnight and no accidents. I say you are super close, I would back off and try in a month or so. Both my oldest two have trained in a matter of days when they were truly ready both right around 3, my middle guy turned three about a month ago and is just now trained. Good luck!
Yep get rid of pull ups. Use only at night.
I would take away the pull ups. To go forward... Is there any leverage you could use to get her to sit on the potty? I know it sounds crazy, but here's what I did and it worked. My kids love the Wii but I don't let them play much. Well, I put the little potty in front of the Wii, and told my son he could play Wii if he sat on it. He did, and eventually starting peeing on it, if only by accident, because it takes a good 10 min to play a Wii game and he had to sit on the potty the entire time he played or I turned it off. Once he got the hang of that. I changed the rule to "you can play Wii after there is pee in the potty". From that point, it only took a week or so before he was fully trained, and he doesn't associate it with the Wii anymore.
I'm not saying that you have to use the Wii. But is there something else she LOVES to do? Maybe a favorite TV show that you will only turn on if she's sitting on the potty. I think the trick is finding something she really likes that keeps her sitting on the potty for more than 30 seconds so there is really a chance for something to happen.
Good luck!
If she needs them at night, I'd make them into "nighttime only" garments and otherwise take them away. Friend of mine had a daughter that would cry for a diaper and finally they just did away with them and to their astonishment she got over it pretty quickly. Since she is going on the potty, she CAN go and knows what do to and you're not trying to train a very young child. Something you might consider is reading a story or talking to her while she's on the potty to get her mind off going and get her used to doing it. If you read her a short book and she hasn't gone, then get up and try again later.
Absolutely take them away. Pull-ups are the diaper company's evil trick to keep kids in diapers. I would just use them at sleep times. Also, Target has these great super-thick underwear that are awesome for potty training. The kids think they're wearing undies, and you have a much less disgusting mess.
Good luck!
The honest answer to this question for every mother out there is this.
Take away pull ups or not. How much time do you have to clean up pee and poop off the floors and furniture? They do not get potty trained in a minute so they will stand there and just pee and poop their little hearts out.
That is why pull ups were invented. While you are in the process of potty training the child gets the idea of pushing their pants down and pulling them up to sit on the potty. That's the purpose of a pull up. You still have to take them to the bathroom every 15 minutes or so to train them. You have to give rewards when they go. You don't have to mess up your washing machine, you don't have to sanitize the washer or multiple floor surfaces. You have less work to do. Don't you already have enough work to do? Why do you want to add to it.
She's only 2, she's starting potty training in the middle of winter, it appears she has no interest in it, it seems she's not ready in so many ways.
Yes, take them away and use cloth trainers with a cover for nights. She's proved she's a big girl by using the potty at school, run with that! Pullups are diapers and little ones use them as such, like your daughter is. Tell her she's big enough to not use pullips anymore, and use the potty at home, too.
I don't understand why the new potty, though. Unless it's like the ones at her preschool to make everything consistent for her, that I get. Otherwise, try to keep things consistent. Maybe it's time to use a smaller seat on the toilet with a step stool, some kids don't like potties, period.
She's at the point she just needs the extra push towards independence, you won't be harming her, you're helping her. And if she keeps having potty problems of any sort take a look at this site for potty training refusers:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm
I don't think the pull ups helps because there just like diapers cotton diapers would be better or underwear and rubber pants so it will not be as messy. People told me summer time is a better time to train because they can wet themselves outside and feel it more with the warm weather. I'm having the same problem myself my son was better but he was in preschool at this age and saw the other kids going potty so he was influenced by them. Mine will be 3 in may I've been going through this since she was 18 months the only thing good about starting that early is that i have saved a few diapers but she seems to be rebellious against it not sure if she understands yet holding it, etc.
I haven't read the other answers but I say take away the pull-ups except for bedtime/quiet time. They are just like a diaper. And go with nothing on at all when at home. That is how my daughter learned. Good luck-its a process and a journey.....
