38 answers

Should I Pin Back My Sons Ears

My son is 6 and is finishing up his first year in kindergarten. I was looking at the yearbook and noticed his ears stick out more than anyone else in his class and possibly the school. He has a big head too so he is proportioned. Im sooo scared that this will lead to teasing. Do I go ahead and pin his ears back now or wait til he ask for it if his ears do become a teasing point. He is gorgeous with his ears and we love them but i dont want him to go through his childhood being teased over something that is fixable like ears. I know ill get a lot of responses that you should teach him to love him for who he is but im sure you all have had braces to fix your not so perfect teeth and if you havent you probably wish you would have. He is a green eyed dimpled handsome fella I just want what is best for him.

What can I do next?

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All kids get picked on. If you fix his ears, kids will just find something else. I'd wait until he's older and it becomes and issue for him.

2 moms found this helpful

I have big ears. I know it is different because I am a girl with long hair but I do wear it up often. When I was younger kids were really cruel to me. Actually one in particular and I have still have not forgiven her.

It is not a big deal at all anymore and I wouldn't have wanted them corrected.

1 mom found this helpful

People still pin kids ears? Wow, I thought that stopped back in the 1950's. Let his hair grow a little longer to cover his ears a bit more.

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S., don't ask others this question. YOU are his mother. No one here even knows what your son looks like, so no one here is qualified to give you an appropriate opinion. YOU do what feels right to you.

My own son was born with big ears. If he hadn't have "grown into them" by the time he was in school, I would have done it. I didn't need to because he looked normal by that time. But I wouldn't have asked people who have never seen him if I should or shouldn't have.

D.

3 moms found this helpful

my sister went to school with a boy who had big ears that stuck out. his parents never did anything about them, and he was popular. by the time he graduated high school, he had grown into his ears, and you never would have known they were big when he was little.

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If he isn't teased, and he has no ill thoughts about his ears, then the answer would be no.
When I was young, my mom wanted to pin back my ears. I was never teased about them from my friends so I didn't have a problem with them. I was however, hurt that my mom would think about changing that physical aspect of my body. I kept wondering why she didn't think my ears were good enough for her when everyone else thought they were fine. Luckly it did not scar me and I embrace my monkey ears still to this day. ;)

Now my daughter has the same ears and her doctor suggested that I pin them back. I said no. I want her to be happy with herself and not feel that she has to change herself to look good in someone elses eyes. If she gets teased in school and is so miserable that she wants to have her ears pinned back then we'll talk about it. But only if that happens.

Updated...

He is very cute!! Just to clairify what I wrote. My mom never told me herself that my ears were ugly or too big. But just her action of telling me that she was thinking of making a doctor appointment, gave me the impression that my ears weren't good enough for her. She told me that she didn't want me to be tease.... but I wasn't being teased in the first place. I saw it as a vanity issue in HER mind.. not mine. I was 7 at the time and this is how I saw it. Again... if he does not have a problem with it, neither should you.

I just don't want you to have the same outcome as I did with my mother. After this incident I carried a little resentment towards my mom for years. We had a good relationship, but that little voice in my head still nagged at me for a long time that my mom thought my ears were ugly. Even though she NEVER said that.

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I'm gonna need to see a picture before I can answer this.

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Your son is absolutely perfect just the way God made him. No need to alter any part of him. Don't live in fear, just teach your child how to handle children that bully others and what being a true friend is all about. That would serve him far better than trying to make his looks conform to anyone else's idea of handsome.

2 moms found this helpful

All kids get picked on. If you fix his ears, kids will just find something else. I'd wait until he's older and it becomes and issue for him.

2 moms found this helpful

I agree with you that he is a cutie! I would not worry about his ears. They do not stick out unnaturally that it would cause him to be teased....Yes there are instances where kids need to have that surgical procedure done but your son does not look like a candidate.... :)

Take care of your cutie pie. Makes me miss my kids right now sigh....

2 moms found this helpful

oh my!! If you pin his ears back I think he will lose some self confidence. You need to reassure him he is gorgeous no matter what. My boys both had huge ears, and they "grew" into them if you know what I mean. They did not get teased either. Only family members remarked "wow, so and so has grandpa's ears!!" Maybe you are worrying more about it than everyone else.

1 mom found this helpful

He is soooo cute! From what I can see in that picture, his ears don't stick out that much. I've seen much worse than that, and I doubt that he'll get any teasing for his ears. I would just wait and see. Take care, and thanks for sharing the picture of your handsome fella :-)

1 mom found this helpful

I have big ears. I know it is different because I am a girl with long hair but I do wear it up often. When I was younger kids were really cruel to me. Actually one in particular and I have still have not forgiven her.

It is not a big deal at all anymore and I wouldn't have wanted them corrected.

1 mom found this helpful

Ears like that are so cute! I wouldn't personally do anything unless he tells you he's worried about it. I also would be VERY careful in how you talk to him about it so that YOU aren't the one making him feel insecure about it.

1 mom found this helpful

You have to do what you and your son feel is best.

With that said, I think if you do something to make him think it's a problem, you enforce that it's a problem. Who knows what he'll look like when he grows into himself? My child has a mark that I could have removed for cosmetic reasons, but I will not do that. It is part of what makes her her. If it becomes a medical issue, we'll do what we need to do, but otherwise, I tell her it's something that makes her special!

AND - even if he was ABSOLUTELY perfect in EVERY imaginable way, some day, some time, some place, someone is going to tease him about something. When that happens to my child, I negate it as a mean thing to do and tell her that's why I hope you never do X or say X, it hurts peoples feelings and isn't nice, is it. (And occasionally, if it's happened too much or too mean, I say, well, imagine saying X about you when so-and-so isn't so perfect themselves - and point out their issue. I know, I know, but hey, I am a childs mom!!!!)!

1 mom found this helpful

People still pin kids ears? Wow, I thought that stopped back in the 1950's. Let his hair grow a little longer to cover his ears a bit more.

1 mom found this helpful

Ok, short answer -- No.
Longer answer -- My father wanted to do a procedure to stunt my growth when I was younger because I was taller than everyone else. I am now happily 6'2" and I think I would be heartbroken any other way. Do not mess with his physical charactaristics until he is much older
Additional Comment -- Braces are not always for cosmetic reasons.
•Speech impediments
•Jaw or TMJ pain
•Difficulty chewing and eating
•Sleep apnea caused by mouth breathing and snoring
•Grinding or clenching of the teeth
•Gum disease and tooth decay

1 mom found this helpful

My husband was born without the hard cartilage that forms the top part of the ear, so my in laws had this type of surgery for him(back in the 70's) He was awake and very clearly remembers the shots going in both ears. Very, very, painful. He screamed through the whole procedure. My mother in law cried the entire time.
I would definitely consider HOW it's done. Maybe think about waiting until he's old enough to ask (if he decides it's an issue)?

1 mom found this helpful

I personally think he'll grow into them. So I wouldn't do it. You never know how his growing will affect where his ears were pinned so he could end up looking worse. Who knows.

1 mom found this helpful

He's just in kindergarten. He still has alot of room to grow. may just grow into them, best wishes

I would wait and see what happens with the other kids. I fyour child is easy to get along with and the other kids like him he may never get teased. There'a child that grew up with my DD - they'r ein HS now - and he has enormous ears. But he's a confident kids - all around athlete, good in school, and a likeable kid. I have never heard of anyone teasing him - or if they did maybe he was able to shrug it off becuase he was well-grounded.

But, if you find tha tyour kid tends to be on the shy side, not overly confident (and much of this is jsut the way the kid is born - and has so very little to do with how they're raised) he may benefit form getting them done. keep and eye and ear out and see waht happens in the years to come.

I didn't read all the responses but I too have a son with ears that stick out. At his 6 month appointment his pediatrician advised me to talk with specialists about the possibility of taping them back. We tried it for a few months and unfortunately he was already to old so it didn't work. I thought I would get a lot of unfavorable remarks from friends and strangers but not so. So many people said they were teased or felt self conscience growing up. Many women said they never wear there hair up (even as adults) to cover there ears. The majority agreed that they wished their parents would have done something when they were little. We will definitely be looking into the surgery once he is of age. Kids can be so ruthless this is an easy (but expensive) fix.

I am only answering because my DH and I had this conversation before we even had kids.

My Hubby had ears that stuck straight out like 90 degrees from his head. I have pictures to prove it...as he matured and he grew into manhood finally his head caught up with his ears and they look fine.

HOWEVER...all during his school years, particularly on the bus kids would flick him on the ears to tease him...along with verbal teasing. But a lot of ear flicking. Kindergarten through 11th grade (when he sprung up to 6'5" and joined the basketball team). Once he became a jock he was the one doing the teasing, but I digress.

He told me before we conceived that if any of our children ended up with his ears they would be at a plastic surgeon before they started school. He was dead serious and I was already planning the plastic surgery fund.

I maybe in the minority that says get them fixed and save that torment...they will find something else but it won't be his ears.

Don't do anything until he does more growing. He very well may proportion out. When my little cousin was born, she honestly looked like she had Downs. EVERYONE asked us if she had it; even her parents questioned the Drs. She's now a GORGEOUS tween and you'd never even guess that she'd had "that" look as a baby. We change. Your son very well may too.

I didn't read one response so far. I wanted to give you my honest opinion without my decision being shifted.. If YOU feel your son's ears are too big and if YOU think he's DEFINITELY going to be teased, then I say do it. And do it now before he gets older and REALLY understands or gets teased by his friends for doing it... ONLY if his ears are REALLY noticeable though!!!!!!!

This is a question only you can answer, but I just wanted to say that I looked at his pic and he is just adorable!!!! If it helps, my cousin has huge ears and he was one of the most popular kids in our high school!

No way!! Dont pin back his ears! It's part of his character I think. And to be honest I think he is darn cute with them ears! Let it be, he will grow into them.

Your son is the cutest little lovie! I know that you want what's best for him and that you want to shield him from the cruelty of stupid people.
Only you know what's best for your child. The surgery can be difficult. My friend's son chose to have this done at age 9, and it was hard on him but he adamant about wanting it done. My friends supported their son's decision.
Good luck in what you decide!

Talk to him and see how he feels about it. I had a breast reduction and I was teased. I understand about that. You could get it done this summer so he does not have to miss school. I understand you want the best for him. Good luck

Just another option, my son has prominant ears (though he is growing into them) so we just keep his hair longer and it covers them :)

I had the worlds biggest ears growing up. Many, many people told my mother to pin my ears back. Others including grandmothers wanted my mom to put me through some surgery. I am so thankful she never pinned them back or had some surgery.

Getting made fun for my ears only made me stronger, if you do your job correctly your child with have enough self esteem to not need to have to pin his ears back. His ears are apart of who he is. As my ears were apart of who I was. Yes, sometimes people were cruel, and called me "dumbo", "big ears" and even other names I can't even write here. But did it change the fact that my mom did other things to encourage and grow my self esteem? No...I knew they were big, I could see them. But I was also told just as many times that I was so adorable because of them. It made me different, made me understand that people are not the same. Keep encouraging him to have self esteem in other ways.

With that said...let your son make a choice as he's older.

Updated: I grew into them by my late teens!

My BF has a big head and ears that stick out (his head and ears are proportioned). His brother, sister and dad all have the same thing. When he was young, his mom (who does not have a big head or ears that stick out) taped his ears back....she took the tape off, ripped his skin a little bit and he bled. She decided after that she didn't care, and would just leave him alone and let him look the way he was intended to look. He said he got teased a little bit for them, but he didn't really care. He was into bmx, football, cars, etc and was pretty popular. So the little bit of teasing didn't even phase him.
Did I notice his ears stuck out when we started dating...yeah, was I still attracted to him...yes. He has dark features, big eyes, a great smile, perfect teeth, he was funny and easy going...so the fact that he has ears that stick out never bothered me, and to be honest...I think it's kind of cute.
I think your son looks adorable, and I would just leave it. He might grow into them later on, or he might like the way he looks. If he does get teased address it and how to handle it, but if he really doesn't like the way he looks later on then cross that bridge when you get to it (discussing pinning them back/plastic surgery, etc).
Hope this helps. =)

My dad has ears that stick out and wears his hair long because of it.
My brother used to have ears that stick out. When he was in middle school he asked to have his ears pinned back, my parents let him.
He was very happy after doing it.

I have no issue with a child doing this, and I understand wanting to protect your kid, but I would say Kindergarten is too young (in my opinion), you never know what his ears will be like later, and if it is a problem for him later, let him choose to fix it.

Just my opinion.

My daughter who is 7 has ears that stick out a little more... but she also has long hair.

I think those that DO "pin" the ears back did so when they were infants- they gave their kids a special hat or headband that kept the ears close to the head for a couple years and then they grew closer to the head naturally. I would say at this point there's nothing to do about it just cause he's grown so much already. Also, he will know what you are doing and think there's something wrong with him- that he POSSIBLY couldn't fix.

My daughter doesn't notice AT ALL that her ears are different, Really! That should really say something. I love that. ...and her ears are just fine to me! Some mom said that those ears are cute- they are!

...and people get braces more so for health reasons more than for cosmetic. All about the jaw alignment/ correct bite/wearing down your teeth the wrong way, etc.

Definitely not. If later in life he is bothered by this, let it be his decision.
They cannot be that bad if you just noticed they were bigger than the other
kids.

It's not like you'd be getting him liposuction or anything.

I don't see the difference between pinning ears back and straightening teeth. It's a relatively minor surgery.

I think you should wait until he's a few years older so you can have his consent. I don't think you should do it unless he wants to.

It sounds like you're considering surgery to avoid your child getting teased. Let me assure you, pinning back your child's ears will not protect him from getting teased. All kids experience poor treatment from other kids, just like all adults experience poor treatment from other adults. I don't see how pinning back ears will change this reality.

As a former ugly duckling and now professional model, I encourage you to follow in the steps of my own parents (which served me well growing up) - Love your child, enforce his beautifully proportioned head :) and his other great qualities and don't give any weight to the mocks of strangers. And at the end of the day, many of the most attractive people are those with unusual physical characteristics.

I have seen kids that have had their ears pinned and they look a lot more silly then oversize ears. Boys can get away with little things like this more then girls. Girls are very sensitive to this kind of teasing and boys are more happy go lucky.

I'd wait it out a bit. He looks fine right now

I don't know, it depends on the severity. My cousin's ears stick out extremely bad, and it does look a bit disfiguring (he's about 18 now). If he were my child, I would have pinned them when he was younger. If you just observed this from looking at the yearbook, it doesn't sound like it's bad enough to warrant a procedure though.

Things that I would correct are teeth and acne. Everything else I would let slide unless it was very disfiguring and made my child depressed.

I would not pin his ears back.
That sounds terrible and painful.
We all have our flaws. And they're not necessarily flaws.
I was unable to get braces when I was younger and was also afraid of the pain. I'm glad I never did so no I don't wish I did. As an adult however, I can do whatever I want and I still don't choose to.
I say don't and not to worry. He will be fine. Your son sounds beautiful just the way he is!!!! :) And since you want the best for him, I say that's it: leaving him just as he was born. Handsome! Love to you and your son!

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