18 answers

Ears That Stick Out

So I feel kind of foolish asking this question...my 5 month old ears started to stick out about 2 or 3 months ago. Ive been totally self conscious of it, since I must have passed the trait on to him as Ive always been really self conscious of my own ears. However, as a girl, I just wear my hair down and its not too big of a deal. So today, an uncle that had never met my son before says (and the first thing he says) "oh he has big ears!" I was kinda irratated since it wasnt congratulations or anything, just a rude comment! So now its been bugging me even more. Of course I am so thankful he is a healthy, happy baby and I know that is the most important thing of all!!!!!!!!!!!! Like I said im sooooo thankful just to have a healthy baby when so many other people deal with "real" issues. But, this world is so cruel and so I just dont want him to go through life with people making fun of his ears, as a mom we just want to protect our kids. Now my sons ears are not big at all, just stick out which makes them seem big i guess. So, this leads me to my question...has anyone ever had cosmetic surgery to fix ears..ie..pin them back maybe? seems simple, but of course I dont know anything. And of course I would never do anything like this to the baby...just thinking years down the road if this is possible? safe? expensive? etc...Hope this question is not too trivial but if anyone has any knowledge on this matter..just curious. Thanks!

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you sound like a first time mom wait until he roows up alittle then he can desides if he dosnt like his ears now adays gus wear their hair long no body will eve see it iraised 4 kids andi cant tell if thier ears stick out or not 8 grandchildren A. no hills

There's a cute toddler book called "What I Like About Me" that describes ears that stick out and embracing those unique characteristics that we all have.

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My son has BIG ears that stick out :) and he got them from me, but I have hair to hide them! He is so handsome and charming,I've learned to embrace "them", because it's a part of him and he certainly is not the only one! There are lots of not so cute kids with perfect ears :) I had our drycleaning guy get out his measure stick once and measure his ears and said "wow, his ears are big for such a little guy"! As shocked as I was, I smiled and said "he can hear better than you can, that's for sure!". Ya know, it's a fact that his ears stick out, but he is very cute, and I get him a cool surfer hairdo that mostly hides them.

He's 5 now, and there are plenty of other things to focus on around here :)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,
Yes, there is a plastic surgery that can "tack" ears down a bit. My husband's boss' daughter had it done; I believe she was in junior high school.

But really, we all have our character traits, no? Odd nose, jagged hairline, drooopier eye than the other, crooked smile... I know it's so hard thinking he may have a hard time with it and you not wanting him to be teased. But a bit of adversity truly never hurt anyone and I actually just read that some childhood adversity can work in our benefit, making us stronger and able to cope with the REAL and unpleasant challenges and set backs later in life. Don't worry ... we moms have enough to worry about as it is. Focus on his health and well-being and let him develop the way he was meant to be.

1 mom found this helpful

a friend of mine had that done to her ears...i don't think the surgery is a big deal...i had a lazy eyelid..my parents had it fixed when i was in the 3rd grade...my son now has a slight one but its cute..it was worse when he was a baby and has gotten better..so now its barely noticeable ...i met a model saturday night at an Xmas party ..her little 5 year old son's ears stick out..his hair is longish..i thought it looked cute..like a little elf..i sometimes have my ear stick out of my hair and get called elf..i wouldn't fret too much about it...my son also has longish hair..like Little Lord Fauntleroy...let your son's hair grow out and it will help cover them up and then see if he wants them fixed..i wouldn't do something to him cosmetically w/out his opinion..and choice...i didn't even circumcise and i'm not a fan of piercing ears...so of course i would think that about a cosmetic surgery...just relax..enjoy your babe...put some hats on him...and b/c his ears stick out doesn't mean he's not absolutely gorgeous! I love quirks like that.

God made your son exactly as he is supposed to be. I believe in the importance of teaching our sons and daughters to value themselves, the way God made them, just as they are. So, if somebody makes a rude comment, just teach your child that some people don't always say the right things.

It's your uncle that has the problem, not your kid!

So, next time, say "Thank you!" and "We think our son is perfectly handsome just as he is!"

Hi M.,

Not sure if you are superstitious or not, but in our Asian culture, having big ears mean prosperity. Your little one will be able to catch all the wealth with his "big ears". In our culture, after a baby is born, that is the first thing they look for in the baby's features.

I had a good friend in High-school who had her ears pinned back when she was 8. It made a huge difference in the way kids treated her and she never had any problems from the surgery. It's considered a deformity where there is too much cartilage in the ear, so they simply remove some of the excess cartilage, sew it up and it heals without visible scars. Good luck, I bet your son is adorable anyway. :)

Hi M.,

my son who is 12 1/2 has very large ears, and they stick out as well. He is the 4th generation of this situation.
As a mom, I was very concerned about my son getting teased in the worst way, once he starts school. My fears were totally needless! He had from the beginning the total understanding, that ears come in different sizes, and that the looks and size has nothing to do with what kind of person he is. As he was about 10 years old, I asked him if he ever had trouble because of his ears? and if he is interested, we could have a procedure done to lay the ears closer to his head. His answer was pure and simpe:"Mom, who cares about big ears? They don't change a thing about me, and I'm totally fine with them". And he truly is. Sometimes he and his dad even make fun about my small ears "poor mom, look at her small ears", and all of us chuckle about it.
So for you as a concerned mom, please don't fret too much about a little quirk of nature. It will not impact the quality of your sons life, unless you start making a big deal out of it. If anything, it will help your son to firsthand learn and accept the differences of people's looks, and that looks have nothing to do with a persons qualities.

Sincerely,

T.

I think it can be ok either way. My boss jsut had his daughter's done ( 3 yo) and they are very happy. It is a simple procedure. While you can teach your kid to deal with it you could avoid the situation all together. I would think if the future. In 10 years will you regret the surgery? probably not. But worst case scenario will you regret not getting it if your son is tormented and has a hard time dealing with it? Also, yes your son is too young now, but you will probably not want to wait until the teasing starts and then his friends notice he did something about it.

Hi M., I have known a couple people that have had their kids ears pinned back, it is a pretty simple procedure, and I think since you have a son it is something you should consider when he is a little older. Like you said this world is cruel and if a simple surgery can keep him from being teased and so on I would do it. Just look into getting the right doctor so they do it right. Good Luck and have a Merry Christmas.

I know you are just concerned for your son's feelings, but AT THIS TIME, you don't need to worry about it. It will be years before he starts to notice and if you stop focusing on it, you will probably forget it, too. People often make comments about babies that they would never make in front of an older child, so hopefully such comments will lessen as he gets older. If they don't, come up with a few witty comebacks, like, "We think he will become a musician someday because he'll have a really good ear for music," or something like that. Seriously, though, the biggest thing for you right now is where you allow yourself to focus. If you spend any time looking at his ears, plotting ways to pay for the surgery, wondering how you can hide them with a hair style, ANYTHING along those lines, then you are focusing on them. Focus on something else or just decide that you aren't going to worry about it right now (remember, it will be a long time before he'll notice).

That being said...yes, there is a surgery where they cut out the excess cartilage so the ears can lay back. I knew a boy in middle school who had this done and unfortunately the keloid scars he developed over the incisions was probably worse than if he had just had protruding ears. As for your boy, it's an option, though, for HIM to decide upon LATER. He is way too little to be worrying about this now. They may lay back on their own and you will have wasted all that time worrying about it. Plus, you'll have to wait and see if HE has a problem with it. He may like them! Ha ha!

Kick back and enjoy your healthy baby!

Well I am sorry you got that rude comment, that is just uncalled for. I would wait a while to see if he grows into his ears as he gets older. But, yes, my husband and almost all of his siblings did have their ears pinned back, all at elementary school age. I think my hubby was the youngest of the bunch and he was about 5 or so. I think he looked ADORABLE before they were pinned but his oldest sister was getting teased and his parents just decided to do all of them at once (can you imagine!?). The only thing I thing that was bad about it was that it sent him a very clear message at a very young age that something was "wrong" with him. He's still REALLY weird and self conscious about his ears even though they don't stick out at all. I guess my suggestion would be to wait until he's older and let the decision be his instead of you telling him that is what he needs to do to be "normal" or "accepted". Does that make sense?

But, the surgery itself I don't think is a big deal at all and it worked really well, my hubby has great ears! Our son is 2 and when he was born his ears were a little weird but he seems to have grown into them.

We all want our kids to be perfect... guess what?? they are! They are perfect the way they are. We ALL have something to be teased about. Embrace his difference and remember that we women are often judged more harshly and have learned to care more about what isn't right than what is.

He may "grow into" his ears, just give it time and try not to worry to much! my son has a small birthmark on his cheek, and it was very pronounced and people would always ask/comment about it, some not so nicely. It has really faded as he has grown (he is 5) but he's at that age where i'm sure kids will tease him about it. as far as your question about surgery, there was a guy in my high school who did have surgery exactly as you had mentioned, by having them pinned back (somewhow?) so the surgery does exist, but i think you are getting way ahead of yourself at this point. i have no idea about cost but i know it was a pretty basic procedure and he was back at school soon after. he is the only person i've ever know to have this done but i'm sure it's an option down the road if it really becomes a serious issue.

There's a cute toddler book called "What I Like About Me" that describes ears that stick out and embracing those unique characteristics that we all have.

a friend of mine had the same problem with her little boy, when she was at home, she would put headbands on his head. the pediatician suggested it

I think the best thing you can do for your son is to arm him with a good dose of self confidence. People will always find some reasons to make fun of other people about but the less he's affected the less interest people will have in teasing..
Hope this helps!

Hi M.,
you know, I was a teacher. And of course a student as well. Kids can be HORRIBLE to each other. Sure, they do all the protective behaviours in the world, but - kids notice difference and peck at difference, and this can be so damaging to one's self-esteem (as you mentioned yourself).

Knowing that kids are no different now, in fact may be even more sophisticated in this area, would you like to prevent him having some of those experiences? Then look into the procedure - it is a procedure.

I've always said if my kids have teeth issues or big ears or a mole on their face, I would have it removed, fixed or repaired so they are not as easy a target for bullies - yes, they will still get bullied, as all kids experience, but not about something that is obvious.

I'm sure you know the way you want to go - your son is beautiful, but you want to protect him from something you *know* will impact him in a negative way. Look into it.

- C.

you sound like a first time mom wait until he roows up alittle then he can desides if he dosnt like his ears now adays gus wear their hair long no body will eve see it iraised 4 kids andi cant tell if thier ears stick out or not 8 grandchildren A. no hills

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