T.P. asks from Houston, TX on July 19, 2010
She Won't Sleep!
So my now four week old has a new issue. She won't go to sleep alone again. I'm frustrated mainly because I have not had decent sleep in two nights and I have no help. Husband is not home because he works two jobs to make ends meet. I am to return to work in the next couple of weeks and I'm starting to get very frustrated. She will fall asleep on my chest but the moment I try to put her in her bassinet she will wake up and it takes another 30 minutes to get her back to sleep. Right now we are sitting in the living room with her in her bouncy seat. No she isn't showing signs of falling asleep either. She has been up and fussy for nearly 16 hrs now. Her naps have been very brief all day. Any suggestions?
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A.N. answers from Austin on July 20, 2010
Hire a postpartum doula or get a lactation consultant to come out. They could give you either some much needed rest or give you some feeding/awake/nap advice.
My child was pretty colicky and didn't seem to need to sleep to much. The only thing that seemed to help was...don't freak out when I say this...sleeping her on her tummy. It's something my husband and I did a lot of research on and made that decision together.
I hope I don't get a lot of flack for posting that....:)
A.
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K.D. answers from Dallas on July 19, 2010
That sounds like gas to me!! If she is okay in her bouncy seat chances are she will be okay in her carseat too. The upright position helps with that. You will NOT be a horrible mother if baby sleeps in her carseat for a night :-)
Talk to your ped about switching formulas, or if you are nursing, talk to a lactation consultant about what gassy foods to avoid.
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L.G. answers from Austin on July 20, 2010
She is still so young, so it is rare for her to have a regular sleeping pattern. Do you have a mom or aunt close by who could help you out once in a while so you can get some sleep? Your daughter just needs you to be calm so turn on some music that you like that will make you smile or will get you feeling relaxed. Keep certain songs around just for that. Music can really change our mood. Singing to her will be soothing as well.
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T.S. answers from Austin on July 20, 2010
I agree with Julie V., welcome to motherhood. Your baby is only 4 weeks old and it is going to take a while to get a sleep pattern down. Please please don't let your infant cry it out as some others have suggested. A four week old newborn needs her mother to nurture not to leave alone to cry alone in a crib. I read the book Healthy Sleep Habits by Dr. Sears. I found this book to be very helpful in many ways. Please check it out before you follow some of the other advice posted. Also, I went back to work when my son was 8 weeks old and it was very hard because I was so tired but your body learns how to function on lets say 3 hours of sleep. Stay strong and you will make it.
1 mom found this helpful
A.N. answers from Austin on July 20, 2010
Hire a postpartum doula or get a lactation consultant to come out. They could give you either some much needed rest or give you some feeding/awake/nap advice.
My child was pretty colicky and didn't seem to need to sleep to much. The only thing that seemed to help was...don't freak out when I say this...sleeping her on her tummy. It's something my husband and I did a lot of research on and made that decision together.
I hope I don't get a lot of flack for posting that....:)
A.
1 mom found this helpful
M.P. answers from Portland on July 19, 2010
The longer she's awake, the more tired she'll get and the harder it will be for her to go to sleep. And the more tired you get the less likely you'll be able to think straight. It's a vicious circle. I suggest that you lie down with her and both of you get some sleep. Then start over.
Put her down in her bassinet and stay with her until she falls asleep. At four weeks she should still be doing more sleeping than staying awake. (I think. It's been 7 years since I took care of a baby.) At any rate she should be doing a whole lot of sleeping. I suggest that she could stay in her bassinet or her bouncy seat whenever you're not feeding her, changing her diaper, or quietly playing with her.
My grandson slept best in his bouncy seat until he outgrew it. He also liked sleeping, buckled in his car seat. He was diagnosed with GERD early on. My granddaughter slept in her car seat for several months. She had asthma. Being more upright was more comfortable for them.
Have you tried bundling her up tightly in a blanket? Some babies need to be swaddled to sleep.
I also suggest that you take the bassinet or her bouncy chair into your room so that if she continues to wake up you can reach over and gently pat her without picking her up and without having to completely wake yourself up. Once she's trained to sleep for a few hours she'll be able to do that in her own space.
I'm retired and took care of both of my grandchildren the first months of their lives. I sometimes took naps with my granddaughter cuddled in my arms while I lay on the couch. The couch is to narrow to roll over on if that's your concern. And having her in my arms felt wonderfully cozy. You could try that so that you both can get some sleep.
A.S. answers from Minneapolis on July 19, 2010
my son would do the same thing. Try to lay her down in her bassinet next to your bed so you both can laydown but you can still touch her. it may take longer for her to fall asleep but she will eventually get so tired she falls asleep. and if your having problems gettin her to sleep at night try to keep her up more during the day. try eliminating the last nap befor bed. play with her, read to her, just try to keep her alert. but if she shows sings of being over tired let her nap. Aslo keep in mind she is very young and her habbits and patterns are still changing on a daily basis.Try to get a schedule set up now that is closest to the schedule you will have when you go back to work, even if it doesnt seem to be working just keep at it and eventually she will learn when its is time to sleep and when it is time to play. this will help you greatly when you go back to work. And also if shes in her bassinet fussing and you feel you can wake up if she has a real need dont be afraid to cat nap and doze. Sometimes these things have to work themselves out. and if your gettin frustrated make sure shes in a safe area and has no real needs and take ten mins to sit in a different room and read a chapter in a book, or call a friend. it is ok to let them cry, it is healthy for them. just make sure all her needs are met first.
Hang in there it WILL get better.
T.C. answers from Minneapolis on July 20, 2010
I went through this same thing with my daughter. I to have no help due to my husbands work scheduale and went back to work when she was 7 weeks old. I was exhausted and have a 3 year old to so i am always on the go. I started reading healthy sleep habits happy child. I started putting my daughter down earlier letting her cry for like 5-10 min, going in calming her down, etc. It took a good 2 weeks of sticking with the same routine every night but she got a lot better. She was also put on medicine for reflux which helped her fussiness at night tremedously. She is now 4 months old and doesnt' need the medicine. She eats a 6-7 oz bottle with cereal in it at 6:30 and is usually sleeping by 7 and usually wakes up between midnight and 3 to eat. Sometimes i can get her back in her pack and play, but most nights i just sleep by her after that. I like this scheduale a lot because i have time with my older baby before he goes to bed and time to get things done after they are both in bet. You will still be tired but you get used to it. As long as i get between 5-6 hours of sleep total a night im good to go. It will get better. Just stick with a routine and maybe try putting her down earlier. Once a baby is over tired it is impossible to get them to sleep good. Good luck!
J.V. answers from Chicago on July 20, 2010
OK, for starters, welcome to mommyhood. Second, not getting any sleep is part of the deal with a newborn. I know you are going back to work and you want sleep, but babies are not able to self-sooth for many, many months. What this means is that you need to help her learn how to sleep. Newborns will pop awake until they are in a deep sleep. So, get a bassinet, if you aren't using one, and when she wakes, feed her, and then let her fall asleep laying on your chest. After she's been asleep for a while, then move her to the bassinet. Around week 8 or so, you should be doing less and less of this, and she could move to her own room, etc.
Babies should not be up for longer than 2 hours between naps. This means, literally, that they fall asleep in two hours, not that you start putting them down in 2 hours. If you go longer, then they get over tired and won't sleep.
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