Babywise Parent-Directed Feeding

Oh no! I am so sorry for those who read this before you and misread the books to believe you don't feed your baby on demand. You do! The beauty of this system is that you incorporate both on-demand feeding and scheduling to make one beautiful scheduling system that your baby will end up thanking you for and you'll have a good sleeper because of it! Your baby never goes hungry on this system! And for those who are not feeding until the appointed scheduled time are reading the books incorrectly and not being 'BabyWise'. The system is so great because it is so practical, is totally common sense and everyone stays happy! Instead of waiting for the scheduled time if baby is hungry, you feed twice. You feed when baby is hungry and again feed baby at the scheduled time. You double feed instead of not feed. And your baby will let you know whether or not they're hungry. Plus it helps keep up milk production as well. I can't express enough how great this system is and how carefully you need to understand the concept. I am truly sorry for those who did not read correctly but instead read to their already formed beliefs. The other thing I want to put out there is that I am in no way fond of religious conservatism where this book is supposedly based. I do not value Baby Wise as a belief system but I do very much value it as a great approach and the best I've ever seen or heard in raising a great sleeper and a well-fed baby! Enjoy your new baby!

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I used 'Babywise' for my 3rd and loved it. Babies do get a sense of security from scheduling and predictability. She was a very content baby. A lot of the controversy arose when some people were very rigid, and did not consider individual situations such as growth spurts. Yes, the goal is to get Baby on a schedule. It also says in the book to feed your baby when it's hungry, don't force it to go for 2 hours when it's screaming with hunger just to stick with the schedule. If you use it sensibly and nudge your baby into the direction of this schedule, their hunger and sleep patterns gradually adjust. It is a wonderful tool, and added to your 'mom instincts' it can make life easier and more peaceful for the baby AND you. Good luck!

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Nope. Feed him when he's hungry. Stop when he's full. That's the best way to ensure that your milk supply keeps up with his growth. Babies hit growth spurts several times in the first year, and when they happens they want to feed more often and for longer. Then your body realized it needs to make more milk and catches up, and baby goes back to a longer wait between feedings.

Some babies/kids work well with a very consistant schedule, and those are the kids that tend to respond well to something like parent-directed feeding. But they would probably setttle into a schedule on their own. Other kids don't do well with schedules and trying to force them into an arbitrary by-the-clock schedule just frustrated everyone. (Almost all kids do tend to get into a somewhat regular sleep and eat schedule before they enter school - as a mom you can gently guide them into what works best.)

A newborn's #1 priority physically is to grow - gain weight, length, and build muscle and brain mass (synapses, etc). Their #1 developmental task is to learn that mom is there to take care of them and keep them safe and see to their needs. For both, on-demand feeding is by far the best way. May not be so convenient for mom, but then parenting is not about convenient for mom, it's about raising a healthy child. I'm sure you know that already though :)

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I also read the book. Not a fan of it. I guess there have been babies that have died beecause of the "schedule". I personally know a baby that was very small and malnurished because os the schedule. Babies need to eat when they want, it also keeps your milk supply well established. Babies need to be held when they cry, its a basic human need. Dr. Brazleton even says that letting your child "cry it out" does nothing but harm. I have let my child co sleep with us, feed when he wants, and I hold him when he cries. He is so head strong and independent. Good luck, its a decision you have to make and its tough. I would say, do more reading.

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Sorry for my bold and direct response but forget about it. This book and author have been denounced by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The clock doesn't tell you when you're hungry and it doesn't tell your baby when he's hungry. Babies tell you when they're hungry.

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Pediatricians and hospitals do not recommend this. Babies were dehydrated and ending up in the hospital. I have never used it because of this.

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No on Babywise and yes on Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Its a similar concept without being so rigid, and frankly, unhealthy.

My pediatrician would flip. Babies bodies know when they need more nutrients, their bodies digest what they eat faster than we do. So... if you don't feed your baby when he's hungry he isn't getting all the nutrients he's needing. He might still be eating but that doesn't necessarily mean you're giving him enough of what he needs.

Yes! (But use your head and your instinct, of course). The important things (for me anyway) were the feeding at about the same time every day, and the waking up at the same exact time every morning. This will help set your baby's biorythyms. As I understand Dr. Sears, his theory is pretty much the opposite of babywise, so you have to pick. I picked sleeping through the night. My babies did, too. My dd slept through the night (i.e. no 3 am feed) by 12 weeks, my ds (who, btw was a 35 week preemie) by 15 weeks. Within a month of that, both were sleeping 12 hours.

You can give it a try. I found it more stressful trying to force a schedule and once I relaxed they found their own schedule. I think it gives some great pointers and advice, but as will all "parenting" books not all kids fit the mold and not everything will go as the book planned.

As a mother of 4 young children, I have found that baby led feeding works best. Growth spurts cause higher intake of food and more sleep as well as a schedule change for all of these. Just my opinion.

Make it a GREAT week!

S.

Hi, A..
Parent-directed feeding can be safe and effective for bottle-feeding. This is not always the case for breastfeeding, though. A couple of breastfed babies have died following the Baby-wise program, which is why the original publisher stopped publishing the book.
If you are breastfeeding *and* you have a very large storage capacity, coupled with a baby with a large stomach capacity, it may work. Storage capacity is based on your milk ducts, not your breast size; there is no way to alter the type of storage capacity you have, nor can this be predicted.
If your storage capacity is of a "normal" range, you will need to breastfeed every 2 hours or so for the first few weeks. Otherwise, your baby may not get enough milk, and your supply will decrease over time, and your baby will grow slowly or you'll need to switch to formula.
Not an easy answer. If you prefer parent-directed feeding and you wish to breastfeed, perhaps you can hold off on that portion of the ezzo program until your baby is 6 months old or so.
A.

I would highly recommend the book. Know that it is difficult though, and if you need any help or support, feel free to email me, or there is also an online support page too, that connects you with advisors I would say the hardest part was the letting them cry it out, and wondering if I was doing the right thing...after 3 days, I knew that I was.

My son thrived on a schedule, right from the start. It helped us to get him to understand night from day, and made going back to work more predictable for pumping. He has been sleeping through the night since 10 weeks old, too.

Make sure that you use common sense when you follow any "method". If you are feeding a baby every 2.5 to 3 hours (yes, I breastfeed, and did the schedule from birth - actually he did), the baby won't starve, unless there is a medical situation. My son had/has the chubby arms and legs of any health baby. The rumors and accusations against Babywise are always mentioned whenever someone mentions this method. The common sense comes in when you know that your baby wakes up when they are hungry, and for a few days, seems to be waking more often - growth spurt. The goal is not to withhold from your child something that they need, it is to learn what it is that they need while maintaining your marriage and sanity.

A lot of it is the principle and getting the baby to be predictable so that you know why they are upset (tired, hungry, wet, etc.), rather than sticking a boob/bottle in their mouth whenever they cry.

Just because you like the principles of any method doesn’t mean that you have to follow it EXACTLY. Take what you like, ignore the rest. For me, I loved the eat, wake, sleep. I thought that was key. I also happened to like the cry it out method, as it was quick, and his sleeping wasn’t dependent upon my actions. This way, once he learned it, anyone could put him down for a nap/bed. It was VERY hard on me to get there, but like I said, the effort in the short term has had great benefits for the long term.

Note - This was written to give A. feedback on the method, not to start a debate on Babywise. While Babywise worked for me, I think that everyone should pick what works for them. You may not like this method, but everyone has that right to choose.

Hi A.,
My husband and I used Babywise on both our kids and we were never so grateful to have such a wonderful source. It seemed to make so much more sense. And it took a lot of the guess work out of the crying baby. Life with our newcomers was so much easier as we pretty well knew what to do and when to do it. I have heard some say they didn't like it but I've never quite figured out why. We had our little ones sleeping through the night in 8 weeks so that made it well worth it to us. It also helped down the road tons as they got older. Because we had been consistent in our schedule both our kids would take naps at the same time everyday. That was a huge blessing to me to actually have a little bit of me time. Life just seemed to "normalize" with the schedule. God bless, L.

For me, putting my children on a schedule was the best thing because it made my life more sane because I knew about what time I needed to be available to nurse but I wasn't just a pacifier anytime the baby cried. That said, Babywise can be a little strict on scheduling, so if you want to go that direction, take the principles in there and make it fit your lifestyle. I found that the book The Baby Whisperer had a nice balanced approach to scheduling. She talks about a flexible schedule and different parenting styles and how to make it fit who you are as a parent and what the child needs.

Also, I did find that scheduling just wasn't possible for the first couple months, so don't stress about it if it doesn't seem to be working, it will.

I liked what Erin S had to say about the pros of Babywise, but Amy P had good points about its shortcomings, too.

We used what I call a modified Babywise with our now 2-year-old daughter. Some of the theory worked for us, but when our own parental instincts told us to change something temporarily (such as for a growth spurt) or permanently (such as having to breastfeed more often than Babywise recommends), we didn't hesitate to modify our actions and the schedule as we saw fit. I also often chose not to wake the baby when she was sleeping, simply adjusting the schedule for the day to match what my daughter was showing me she needed.

Good luck!

I thought I would do that with my new baby, but I didn't like it. Now I'm a believer of on-demand feedings. Although I know some people follow baby-wise to a T. Didn't work for me. But you will figure out what is best for you and your baby. It could work for you...

I would recommend it. It took us a while to get the whole eat, play and then sleep thing down, but we just kept at it. Sometimes it would work and others it wouldn't. But I didn't stress because my daughter was so good about going to bed. Having a schedule has so paid off. My daughter goes to bed every single night without a fight (except if she is sick or something). She is generally really good about her naps too. I had to get some type of routine going because i teach music lessons from my home and I had to be able to schedule lessons and be reliable. I found this method very helpful.
The thing I found to be of the best benefit from this book was to listen to my daughters different cries, and respond accordingly.
Now I will tell you that we definitely did more of the flexible schedule and that worked for us. I am not a nazi about waking my daughter from her nap at exactly three hours. If she seems really tired I will let her sleep a bit more. I never let her cry for more than fifteen minutes straight. I will let her sort of fuss for a bit longer, but I never let her all out cry for longer than fifteen. And of course there are days that are off-schedule, But the basic ideas from Babywise I found helpful.
My daughter is happy and good natured and thriving nine months later! I will definitely be using this method (my way:) with number two who is on the way.
I also wanted to add that some people don't seem to get that this method is NOT about making your baby go hungry. Its about guiding them into a schedule. If your baby is hungry feed him/or her!! they always say that. But don't always automatically assume that is the reason your baby is crying.
I also want to say that some people criticize the method for not being loving enough. My daughter gets plenty of love and attention. I shower her with it.
Babies ARE good at letting you know what they need, but they also need consistency and guidance from you as their parent. I am very glad that my daughter can fall asleep on her own and she is so much happier when she has naps, even when she doesn't seem to want them sometimes. It's about finding a balance and about problem solving. Good luck.

Hi A., we did Parent Directed Feeding with both of our children (Bella 22 months and Joey 12 weeks). Bella slept through through the night right at 8 weeks old and Joey between 6 and 7 weeks old. Needless to say, I would highly recommend it! It is a little difficult to stay on the routine in the beginning, but ultimately the kids respond well to routine and we did too. Plus the outcome is exactly what we wanted- the ultimate goal being sleeping through the night on their own. Everyone says we were lucky to have 2 really good babies...I say its PDF. We tell everyone we know about it. Some people may poke fun of you sticking so close to a schedule or discourage you from doing it saying that you should just feed them when they cry. But the reality is, babies cry for lots of different reasons, not just when they're hungry. As a result of PDF, I think, neither of our children cried because they were hungry (unless we strayed from the routine or they were having a growth spurt). Because of the routine and scheduled feedings, their body learns that it will be fed so they don't have to cry to let us know. Waking up to smiling-hungry babies is so much better than waking up to crying-hungry babies! So, I definitely recommend this program and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! Good Luck! ~A.

I think it would be a great idea if you also read Attachment Parenting by Dr William Sears before you set yourself to try Babywise. And after you read both ends of the spectrum you can see what works best for your family. I think it would be important to read Sears book so that you can see some of the down points of babywise prior to trying it.

I just read your "So What Happened" and I completely agree with you. It's great that you've been willing to try different things to find out what works best for your child and your family. I, like you, gave the Babywise thing a chance and found that it stressed me out to do everything in the book, but I agree that the eat, wake, sleep cycle is the best thing ever. I have 3 amazing sleepers and got there quicker with each child. I just thought I'd share my method with you as it's a conglomeration of several different sleep books rolled into one method. From Babywise, I definitely kept the eat, wake, sleep cycle. I would also make sure they went at least a couple of hours between nursing to discourage grazing. After wake time, I would watch for the first sign of sleepiness - rubbing eyes, yawns, thousand mile stare, etc. At the very first sign I would lay the baby in the bassinette/crib (in a swaddle) and encourage them to sleep. I would let them fuss, but not cry. If they cried, I'd pick them up, reswaddle, comfort & then put them down again...awake. Once they were about 5-6 months old, I would use the Ferber method (let them cry for increasing intervals, coming in to check on them & comfort them in between intervals, but not picking them up). It worked like a charm! And by the 3rd kid, he was sleeping 10 hours at night by about 4 months old. If you have any questions for me please feel free to message me. Good luck & congrats!

I think getting on a schedule is a good idea. It isn't possible at first, but eventually it works out fine. As the baby grows into a toddler, the feedings are replaced by snacks, and the child always knows what's next/when to expect a snack or meal. I am big on schedules. I would have gone crazy without it.

I know that Babywise had gotten a lot of criticism from people who thought it was too harsh for babies. I did it 10 years ago with my son, never found it cruel at all, and shortly thereafter they pulled it from the shelves and later released a new adjusted version. All that being said, that book saved my sanity!!! I was lost on what to do about routines and just handling babies in general and this was the only book that was specific with direction.

I loved it! Good luck to you!

We loved it! I did it with all three of my kids, as well as most of my friends have done it and love it. I have three great sleepers, too! One, not so much naturally. Definitely went back to the book many times. The other two, it's harder to tell why they are so good. Anyway, I highly recommend it. Congratulations!

I used babywise with both of mine- started at 6 weeks with my son and 2 weeks with my daughter. Loved the concept, worked great with both of my kids. I even had my daughter sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I buy this book for baby shower gifts all the time. Good luck to you!!!

I read the book when my son was about three months old...up until that point, his eating and sleeping habits were so sporadic. I was desperate to do something to help him sleep better. It was good to schedule his feedings especially because I was working full-time, so I knew that, when I was pumping, my son was eating at the same time. It is possible to do scheduled feedings while breastfeeding--you just need to be willing to tweak the schedule as needed, especially when growth spurts come and whatnot. Good luck with whatever you do!

I used this approach 3 yrs ago and it worked well. About to use it again with my 4 wk old...studying up to remember. good luck

I want to reiterate what Lindsey said. Please read Dr. Sears' Attachment Parenting Book and/or The Baby Book before you make a final decision. I read Babywise when I had my first, and something about just didn't seem right. I read The Baby Book and was reassured that there was a better way. Most especially if you are breastfeeding, Babywise is a bad idea.

I would highly recommend scheduling your baby. All kids enjoy having predictability in what is going to happen and it also allows you to know when you can get out of the house, run errands, etc. I would give babywise a go...I have used it for all three of my kids and while each one took to it differently I was able to predict when they were going to get hungry, when they needed a nap and when they were just fussy. One thing that I did change with my third though was instead of eat, wake, sleep cycle, her's was more eat, sleep, wake cycle. She was a bit colicky and that worked best with her. However she became predictable! I guess the biggest thing is I would ever be afraid of waking your little one up when they have been sleeping for a long time. Keeping the baby on a good feeding cycle, they will eventually just start waking up on their own at the time you wake them. Worked with all three of mine!

I love the book On Becoming Babywise and how it taught me to feed the baby. I recommend it to everybody. By two weeks old my baby had a great schedule and he was sleeping eight hours a night. By 2 months 12 hours. I know each baby is different but I think it is a great program and will do it again with my next baby!!! Good luck finding the program that works for you.