This is really hard for me to talk about. I feel that I may have been molested when I was very young but I don't know for sure. It feels like maybe I am just blocking it out of my brain. I always had that feeling growing up. I remember being in a hospital when I was young and a Dr told had me cross my hands over my chest then over my privates and said no one is allowed to touch you here. When I got older, I mentioned it to my mom and she said that didn't happen, it must have been a dream. Also, when I was a teenager my boyfriend would force me to give him oral sex. After that, I have always felt worthless sexually and very insecure. I have no sex drive. I hate it. My husband is a very sexual person. We've been together 5 years and our sexual relationship has always been up and down. I don't want to be this way. I want to make him happy in that way. Besides this, our relationship is great. I know it's really getting to him and I don't know what to do. I know this is an important part of marriage. He feels like something is wrong w/ him. It's not him at all. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to help get over my past?
I wanted to thank everyone for their advice and a special thanks to the ones who shared their story w/ me. I made an appointment to speak with someone this month. I'm nervous about going but excited to hopefully move on and to improve myself, my happiness and my marriage. Thanks again ladies. I love this site :)
I agree to see a therapist, but I think an important thing to recognize is that you need to do this for you, not for him. You write "I want to make him happy in that way." What about you? Sexual gratification is a good thing. I think he'd like to make you happy in that way too. Just like anything else, hoping to change yourself for someone else is very hard; changing yourself for yourself is much more long lasting.
Good luck.
I completely understand where you are coming from, not going to go in details but private message me if you need someone to relate with... therapy or counseling may be helpful, I am still trying to figure this out too.
I can relate very much to your situation. Because of this, I am seeking the council of a female sexual addiction therapist who I found to have the best skills at helping me through my trauma and doubt. I can't see any way I can heal from this alone by myself nor do I think you can. Talk to some SA therapists and see if they can help.
I was touched the wrong way by a family member nobody knows that I was it is my deepest darkest secret.Do they remember I don 't know was it intential I don't know I was in 1st grade & remember it like it were yesterday not only that but was taken advantge of in H.S.It has effected me so badly that I have emotional issues depression sexual issues(I don't like to have sex)my brain is on overdrive my marriage is suffering in so many way's but I can't let myself speak of it.I have seen a therapist in the past for many yrs. I do need to go back I would highly suggest that you speak to your husband about going.
It only takes 1 time to hurt somebody phyiscally or emotionally to harm them for the rest of their life.Our brains store information sometimes a different scent will trigger something that I haven't thought of for yrs.Anyway help yourself it is hard I know i'm going through it everday i'm now 30 yrs old with 3 wonderful kids a husabnd who wants to leave me.
A sex positive therapist could do a world of good for you. The therapist may be able to help you delve into the memories that you have and help determine with some investigation if they are real or a combination of things.
It is wonderful that you want to make this change in your life. Best to you.
I agree with Donna B about seeing someone who specializes in this. I also wanted to add I would investigate and find out if you were in that hospital. Knowing may actually open your mind to what happened and deal with it. I wish you good luck, I know, personally, how difficult this is to deal with.
