Seeking Suggestions Re: 5Yrs Not Staying Sleep

Updated on September 15, 2008
J.B. asks from Chicago, IL
14 answers

My 5 yr. old daughter wakes up every night at 1:30 and comes in our bed, oftentimes not going back to sleep for at least an hour. She is generally seeking comfort and wants her back scratched or rubbed. Any suggestions on breaking her of this habit -- I am sleep deprived and looking to get back in the workforce soon so I really need her to sleep all night !!!

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K.N.

answers from Chicago on

you might want to look at a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. it was written by sleep disorder specialists at children's memorial.

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Juile,
My son has sensory integration issues and while he doesn't have problems staying asleep, I've heard that a nice weighted blanket (www.affordableweightedblankets.com/product.sc?productId=4...) will help in these situations. You can purchase one yourself (they're a bit pricey), or you can make one by purchasing curtain weights and sewing them into the blanket. Some kids (and myself included), feel safer and more secure with some pressure on them while they sleep. It probably sounds kind of odd, but it will work. I hope that helps.
Blessings,
J.

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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

If nothing else works, ask your pediatrician if you can give her melatonin. My twins are on it, they are 3 1/2 yrs old but have major sleeping issues. One baby is on 3mg and the other on 9mg. It works, its natural and wont damage them. U can buy it at any pharmacy or health food store. We buy the liquid(without alcohol) and mix in their juice at nite. My kids went to a sleep doctor at childrens. Dr. Sheldon. He is one of the top guys in the midwest. I like him, cuz he tries other methods before dosing kids up with sleep meds. He ran all the test to make sure nothing was wrong. Your daughter might also be having growing pains, it sometimes happens at that age. Kids sleep cycles are set around the age of 1. Anything after that has a large possiblity of being something else. Ask her why she is waking up..and if her legs hurt. Hang in there. after going 3 years with only 4 hours of sleep a day. My kids are finally sleeping through the nite. Hang in there and ask u're pediatrician questions. I took our doctor 2 years to finally to refer us to a specialist. hope the info works

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

My sister's daughter use to wake up at night and be exhausted during the day. My sister had always noticed that her daughter's tonsils were really large. It ended up that her daughter had kissing tonsils which caused her to have a type of sleep apnea. Her daughter just had them removed and sleeps like a log now and has a better disposition during the day. Her eyes are not droopy with dark circles anymore and she does not sound as nasally. Maybe check your daughter and see if she is waking up for a particular reason. I don't think kids just wake up out of the blue every night without a reason.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

My 11 year old did that from 2 years till about 6 years. And sometimes now still. My Doctor said it was his sleep pattern to wake up every three hours and i needed to redirect him back to bed. Eventually he would break the habit. It did take some time but worked. Letter her get in your bed or giving her what she is looking for (i.e. back rubs) is confirming to her that it is okay to continue waking up. Little by little just go to her bed with her and rub for a few minutes- less time each time until she gets it that its not going to continue. Good luck.
Now my son just gets up and wanders, goes to bathroom and returns to his bed on his own.

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B.G.

answers from Chicago on

we had the same issue going with our 3 and 5 yr olds and 2 in the bed was way too much, we started offering a reward, (chocolate milk with breakfast vs regular) and it has done nothing for our 3 yr old but worked like a charm with our 5 yr old...

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D.J.

answers from Chicago on

Talk to your pediatrician to make sure she does not have a medical problem. If he states she is ok she will continue to do this as long as you allow it to happen. You really need to direct her back to bed and tell her that she needs to stay in her own bed, but you need to be consistant every time or she will test you until you break. If you are considering going back to work you do need your sleep and so does she. She will probably throw a fit but tears never hurt anyone. This will work if you want it to.

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A.G.

answers from Rockford on

You know what I've been doing... granted my son is only two years old, but before bed, I give him a warm bath (everynight) and use that lavendar bath wash, go to bath and body works in the mall and they have this lavendar and vanilla bath oil and lotion.. buy those. After her bath, rub the lotion on her body, and the oil on her feet. Then some chamomile tea before bed time. (knocks my son out for the whole night!) ... I hope this works for you!!! I remember how it feels to be sleep deprived. GOOOD LUCK!!! ~A.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

J., we wnet through a very similar situation with our oldest (now 9yrs) and our youngest (now 3yrs). For us the only that worked was putting them back into their own every time it happened. With our youngest it was about 5 months before he finally broke the habit. We made sure that there was no conversation, very little light, and no drinks. By doing this we made it clear that night was for sleeping not talking, playing or anything else. With our oldest it took a little longer but he eventually got the message. He still occasionally wakes up at night but has learned to just stay in bed and fall back asleep. I can remember being very sleep deprived as I was working when my pldest had the problem but my ped told me that he would outgrow it and I had to be as consistent as possible. Good Luck!

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

take her back to her bed and rub her back there. Let her know this is her big girl space and your bed is mommy and daddys space.

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E.G.

answers from Chicago on

Our 4-year-old started doing this. We did what one of the moms did below - we explained that when she got up at night, we weren't going to talk, but were just going to put her back into bed. We prepared ourselves to be quiet and consistent and keep doing it over and over if we needed to. We also instituted a sticker system for staying in bed all night, 12 stickers = prize. We also made sure we were consistent with bedtime and didn't let her talk us into staying up there longer/later for more stories, talking, etc. There were some tough nights -- sometimes she screamed and cried and woke up her sister when we put her back to bed, there were lots of relapses and times when she DIDN'T get her sticker, but eventually, I'd say in about 2 months, it's much more rare for her to get out of bed at night. I also used "healthy sleep habits, happy child" to help us develop a plan, even though the way this book is written drives me a little crazy!!

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K.O.

answers from Chicago on

have you tried giving her a reward for staying in her bed?

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B.N.

answers from Chicago on

J.- Could she be having night terrors? My daughter was experiencing the same thing and the dr told us that it is probably night terrors. We leave a night light on for her and have a cd player by her bed to put relaxing music on to put her back to sleep. We have the baby mozart cd from when she was born (familiar soothing music).

Hope this helps!

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J., I've got 7 year old twins and sometimes had the issue with my son. you need to break the cycle. as long as she's not in pain or experiencing night terrors--(severe nightmares, etc.) then walk her back to her bed--rub her back for a few minutes and go back to sleep. keep directing her back to her own bed. it may take a couple of weeks, but should do the trick.

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