20 answers

13 Month Old Still Not Sleeping Through the Night

i have a 13 month old daughter that does not sleep through the night she never has since birth. sometimes she is up two and three time throughout the night. fussing and tossing and turning not fully waking up. my husband and i both have full time jobs and sometime the only way we get any rest is to bring her into our bed with us. and she still fusses, tosses, and turns. i am open to any type of advice that i can get. i pick her up from daycare by 3pm ans she is awake until bedtime around 8:30 to 9:00pm.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

It just sounds to me as if she is in a stage of sleep. Just let her get through it and don't bother her (I know it is hard to ignore, some babies are just louder than others). I also STRONGLY suggest Babywise. My 8.5 mo. son is a great sleeper because of it!

Do you have a nite time routine,it can be as simple as eating dinner at the same time bath time give her a massage with lotion to help soothe her every nite even if she doesn't have a bath wipe her down with a wipe after a diaper change and give her a massage then hold her for comfort she may be squirmy my daughter was at this age.Is she warm enough at nite?

More Answers

Don't know what others will say but your bedtime is WAY too late. A 13 month old should be going to bed at 6:00 to 7:00pm and getting 2 naps per day. The more rested a child is, the better they tend to sleep. When they are chronically sleep deprived, the adrenaline system gets kicked up a notch and they are too wired to sleep appropriately. So, if you try an earlier bedtime it will probably help. Also, you may just need to ignore her for 2-3 nights until she figures out how to quiet herself. It is 4am and my 15 month old has been cooing and tossing in her crib for the last 30 minutes which I am only aware of because I am up. She will go back to sleep in a few minutes and wake at 7:00 or 7:30. I recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child as an awesome reference for sleep questions in children of all ages. I am a physician and a mother to a 3 year old and 15 month old. Hope that helps.

1 mom found this helpful

I have a 16 month old and when she was about 6-12 months, she didn't sleep through the night. I read the Babywise book before my daughter was born, but wasn't completely sure I wanted to do it. Then, my daughter slept through the night from three to six months so I thought I didn't need it (although I am a FIRM believer in sleeping schedules). So, from 6 to 12 months, I suffered with getting up two and sometimes three times a night. In desperation, I decided to take the Babywise advice and the advice of my nanny and let my daughter "cry it out" at night. It was the hardest thing I've had to do because I so desperately wanted to go in and get her when she cried. But, my husband wouldn't let me. (You will need support). It only took two nights, and I am proud to say that from 12 and a half months through 16 months, my daughter sleeps about 11.5 to 12 hours at night. This is IN ADDITION TO the two naps a day that she takes when I am at work. I don't think cutting out naps is the way to go. That just gets your baby even more tired and irritable. I think the way to go is to let your child learn to fall asleep on her own. It is one of the greatest things you can do for her, even if it is hard for you to do. I wish that I had followed this advice a little earlier. I am also a FIRM believer that co-sleeping is not a good idea. I know people do it and love it, but I need some alone time with my husband. I've seen people who do this and have to continue to do this until their children are 8 or so years old because the child doesn't know any differently. That's not something I was willing to do. Start now while you can still have some peace (and room) in your bed because it just gets harder when the babies get older. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I would recommend reading "On Becoming Babywise". It's a great book that talks about setting a schedule for babies. Babies thrive on structure, according to this book. If you already have her on a schedule, you might just try letting her fuss it out for a while. My 7 month old also wakes up a few times throughout the night and she soothes herself back to sleep within 5 minutes or so if I just leave her alone. Sometimes I will go in and give her a pacifier if it's over 5 minutes, but she always drifts back off to sleep within a few minutes. Also, maybe the stretch between 3pm and bedtime is too much? Maybe if you tried giving her a nap around 4:30 or 5, just for about 45 minutes, it would help regulate her sleeping a little more and result in more peaceful nighttime sleep. If babies are over tired sometimes they have trouble calming down and sleeping. Just a few thoughts. I am by no means an expert! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I am a mother of two and I did a lot of research with my first on sleeping and trying to get him to sleep etc... I think one problem might be her bedtime - for a 13 month old 8:30-9pm is relatively late. Everything that I have read recommends a bedtime of 7-7:30 for a child that age. By putting her to bed earlier you might find that some of these problems are eliviated. Also, if she is not waking fully during the night maybe you can try for several nights and just leave her in the crib - you might have a few days of being sleepy but it should work out in the end. Good luck!

It just sounds to me as if she is in a stage of sleep. Just let her get through it and don't bother her (I know it is hard to ignore, some babies are just louder than others). I also STRONGLY suggest Babywise. My 8.5 mo. son is a great sleeper because of it!

Have you tried an earlier bedtime? I have a feeling that might help. Kids actually sleep WORSE when they are chronically sleep-deprived.

Try going earlier by about 15 minutes a night and see what happens. We found out that 8:30 was too late for our daughter (now 20-mos) and 7:30 was too early, but 8:00 was right on the money. We've had an 8pm bedtime for almost a year now, and she started sleeping through the night consistently at about 18mos.

Our daughter has also had issues with sleep apnea when she was about a year old-- her tonsils are big and don't grow at the same rate as her throat. So if her tonsils were larger in proportion to her throat, she'd go through a couple weeks of not sleeping well at all (waking several times a night, starting sometimes just an hour after I put her to bed). We could always tell this was the problem because she would have very noisy breathing while she was asleep and would gasp for air sometimes. So imagine you're sleeping and all of a sudden you can't breathe! You'd wake up and be upset too!

So you might try to figure out WHY your baby is waking-- go in there after she's been asleep for a few minutes and see if you can figure out what causes her to stir-- is she cold, breathing well, etc. Good luck! It DOES get easier!

Do you have a nite time routine,it can be as simple as eating dinner at the same time bath time give her a massage with lotion to help soothe her every nite even if she doesn't have a bath wipe her down with a wipe after a diaper change and give her a massage then hold her for comfort she may be squirmy my daughter was at this age.Is she warm enough at nite?

M.,
I have a daughter who is almost 4 now and we had the same problem with her. The only time she'd sleep all night was when she stayed the night at my in-laws, otherwise she was either up 3 or 4 times or sleeping with us. Our first daughter to this day has never slept with my husband and I both in the bed, so it was very strange for us. We tried letting her sleep with her big sister and that helped a bit but not much. Things have happened that have caused us to move in with my in-laws for the last 6 months and she's slept all night nearly every night since.....so strange! She has a toddler bed at home she never wanted to sleep in. She sleeps in a queen sized bed now all by herself and sprawls herself across it every night. Soo......now that I've given you my life story:-) maybe try different scenarios like a bigger bed, sleeping with big brother for a bit, something different so you can hopefully get some sleep! Even if my suggestions don't work, know that there are others who've lived through it and there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Good luck!
S.
Columbia, MO

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