Seeking Some Family Advice

HI M.,
I have SOOO been there! I got married at 18 and had my first baby 7mos later. Yeah you do the math LOL! Those first couple of years after the baby was born were SO hard. We were in the same boat you're in, working hard, not enough money to go around much less get some new clothes and take care of yourself. That's when my husband and I sat down and seriously talked things out and that's what you need to do. First of all that's one hefty daycare bill, how much of your paycheck do you have left after paying that? Would it be more affordable to just stay home? You're in a different state than I am but I'm sure that if you chose to stay home then your family would qualify for foodstamps, medicaid, WIC and other programs designed to help families with low incomes. That's the route my husband I chose for 5 yrs and now we don't have to be in that system anymore, we got our debt paid off and my husband has an outstanding job, so it really does get better! Sit down, really look at your income and budget and make some choices about your spending and bills, what can you live without and should you just stay home and quit paying that much to a daycare center? Look up your states human services dept/social services dept and get the info you need to get some assistance, they're not all about foster care. You can do this and it may take some time but things will get better, I'm living proof!

If you're still feeling down and stressed try talking to your doctor about depression, its crazy how bad depression can hurt us and how much better we feel when its treated! Again living proof to that!

C. C.

This time of year is always hard, stresses about money.
The difference between depression and just feeling overwhelmed is finding solutions.
Your sister was cruel and it was inappropriate for her to put you down, period. Stick up for yourself.
Go to consignment stores or thrift stores, you would be blown away at the designer, brand name and nice clothes you can find for a few bucks.
You can get a bottle of hair color for $7, get a haircut at Great Clips for $10, you can go buy inexpensive nail polish if need be. Taking a shower and brushing your hair and teeth are free...hee hee.
As for daycare, if you meet the salary requirements there are a lot of assitance programs in helping working families with daycare costs. Paying that much money a month can be slashed in half if you go to the Human Services branch of your local city and county. Also ask them about scholarship programs.
As a single mom, my son could not have gone to PreK this year without him qualifying for the scholarship it was a God send.
You are young, have a lot on your plate early, but it is life and it is YOUR CHOICE to deal with it and go in for fixing the problems or just dwelling on them.
If you feel you cannot get beyond solutions and feel like you want to stay in bed and do nothing, go to your Dr and talk to him or her about symptoms of depression. There are many great medications out there to lift you out of the fog. They are temporary and you will need to readjust your thought process to be ongoing in feeling better.
It is up toyou.
You need to decide that you are fortunate to have a loving husband and beautiful son. All I have to do is see the news to cherish every single moment I have with my children and what we have. We don't have much, I am struggling, I have bills piling up, the house needs repairs and I just have to take a deep breath, put it back to God and pray.
Seriously, God is a huge being in life and if you give your stress to him, decide you will do your best to help yourself, miracles do and will happen.
Figure out what is going to help you overcome and go for it!!!
Life ain't fair, it ain't easy, but it is a gift.

ok. so real quick is the real dad helping you at all. and second do you have any state assistance like childcare.. getting help from these while your down can help you dearly. consider finding out.. remember if your not happy your child knows and obviously your husband also.

I think in order to be a good mom and wife you have to have some you time. I know how tight money can be but even if you go meet a friend for coffee by yourself to get away is good for you. Also, you can take $10.00 for yourself and go to Forever 21 and get yourself a shirt or accessory. You have to do that sometimes. Than you won't feel down and resentful. I know it is hard to be in debt. Live for today and go buy yourself a little something it is totally worth it. You deserve it MOM! Good luck

M.,

You made a choice that is very hard to make and I commend you for sticking with it and doing your best.

Here are my thoughts - I know you've probably heard this before - but it will get better!! I promise. Stop listening to other people who are only bringing you down (like your sister!). I'm not suggesting you her off, but just don't take it to heart and when she starts being negative, stop the conversation.

You have a wonderful man you love who is helping take care of you and your son, you have a beautiful 2 yr old little boy who I'm sure you love more than life and he, no doubt, adores his Mommy!

Find support - family in the area, Teen MOPS groups (I have info on that if you are interested) which have other young moms in your same situation and a support/friends system for you and your son.

It will not always be so hard!! Being a mom is challenging and being a mom before you are done being a kid is even harder - but you will get through it - and it will be worth it!

God Bless you and have a Very Merry Christmas-
C.