Seeking Parents That Have Dealt with Bullies 7Th Grade

Hello J.,

Although my son (10 yo)does not have Tourette's he does have ADHD. His problem is that he doesn't instictively know how to interact with other kids and they seize that as a weakness and give him a rough time. Like your son, my son comes home sad and depressed over the fact that he has no friends and that the kids were mean. We recently found "Theraplay". There is a location in Limerick - not sure where there are others. Look them up on the internet. They offer classes and group sessions to help kids "learn" social interaction. In addition, there is a speach therapist at school that is assisting him with social interaction skills. This might be something you can find at your school.

It's rough and I feel for you. One other thought is the local CHADD group. They can be a huge resource for you.

Good luck!

Hi J.:
I read your posting and I cant give you advice as I only have a 14 month old little girl but when I read your email my heart broke for you and your son! I am so sorry that your son has to experience this (and you too)! I just remember being in school and being overweight at the time and being picked on so even though they are totally different situtations, I still remember how awful it was!
I wish you and your family only best and whatever decision you make, it will work out in the end!
K.

J.,

Hi...I feel so bad for your son...I hate that the kids today are so damn mean. I don't have a 12 year old but I do have a 2 year old boy and it hurts to hear that your son is being bullied. You do what is BEST for your son...and what you feel is right. What school does he attend? Maybe you could put him into another school? I don't know... but I hope everything works out for you...I will keep you in my prayers and heart.

L.

Hi J.,

As a parent and now a grandparent, I've been there done that. In addition, I teach personal development, leadership and life skills at our school, The Training Academy in Elkton (formerly I.'s Self Defense Academy). We teach why kids are bullies and how to handle their attacks. A large part of being bullied is due to low or lack of self-esteem and the bullies just make it worse with their constant insults. I'm sure you know this already, find the things he is good at and give him sincere and constant praise when he does a good job, no matter how small a job.

There are a couple books out by Dr. Terrence Webster Doyle that deal with bullies and they are for parents and kids to read together and have role playing exercises that the kids love. We do this in camps and I let the kids read to each other. We even give them choice of books and they usually pick "Why is everyone always picking on me?". It really explains the bully process in an easy to follow manner. We lend his books to students or parents who want a better understanding.

You will never fail your child if you are loving, caring, encouraging and supportive, you have these qualities or you wouldn't be asking for help.

If you'd like to try our program, for him or as a family activity, give us a call to set up an appointment for 2 free weeks ###-###-####.

B.

I am going through something similar with my 12 year old son. He also has ADD and Tourette's. We are dealing with anger issues, behavior problems, the list goes on. I can empathize. We are sending him to Gloucester County Christian, and are not having trouble with bullies. In our case, it's me who is crying every day! Everything is a battle. Good luck with your situation. --D.

Hi J.,
My heart goes out to you. My son is only two, so I'm not in your situation, but I dread the thought of my son coming home crying. Perhaps changing schools is a good idea. Also, is your son involved in any activities that will build his confidence? Maybe enroll him in a class outside of school that interests him, that may help him build confidence and meet other people who have similar interests. I'm a martial artist and I have seen kids who get so much out of it. Of course, that's not the answer for everything, but it sounds too as if a little confidence could help him out. I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you and your son.

Poor thing!! My prayers are with you guys. Is there a "special" school you could transfer him to? This is a tough situation...maybe you could speak with the bullies parents? - That would be a good start. I'm so sorry you both have to go through this....maybe he could have some "special" friends over for playdates...some of the other moms had good advice too. Hang in there - I'm sure your already giving him lots of extra love. XOXO K.

I can certainly sympathize with some of what you're going through-at least the being picked on part and the bullies. I remember my own experiences at that age. Middle school seems very hard-at least it was for me, for that reason. My parents (mom, mainly) took me out of public school and put me in a Christian school. The atmosphere was much different. I was picked on a bit by some practical jokers, but the school staff confronted the class about it, and I think some of the kids were better. A Christian school may or may not be an option for you financially, but if it isn't try homeschooling. Have you read any books on it-the social aspects of it. There is so much more flexibility with it, so I've been hearing. Since I feel so much for your son, I would say to look into it. After I got taken out of public school, my grades went up, and the stress started to go down. You may not have to quit your job, I don't know. Talk with some homeschoolers--there are lots of them out there,(not me though) and some from the same situation you are in! My heart really goes out to your son! Listen to him--you are his best advocate and he'll love you for it. Stress is not healthy for him.

After I wrote this I didn't realize you had so many responses already. Just consider mine as another option and another hand of compassion for your family.