Seeking Moms Advice for Sleeping Issues with My 7 Month Old

I have always see my mother as a good example. She raised 7 children so I trust her. Plus that I was always and I still do it all the information that I can use with my 2 girls (now 10 and 7). Of course all the children are different. But still you can use the same tecnic in many things.
My two girls slept in my bedroom until they were 2. and for me it was the time when they were ready to have they own room. They felt then older and to have her own room for the older, was super. My second girl thought then it was great to share the room with her older sister.
I never thought it was a problem for them to sleep in my bedroom until late. It was important for me that they felt happy. My second girl in the begining used to cry in the middle of the night. But once we realize that she was hungry. So we gave her an extra bottle and that was it. from then she slept throught the night without any problem.
I believe that is very important for babies to sleep good at night. Makes them happy and relaxed. If there is need to put them in the parents bed to make them happy...then do it. We changed our bed into a bigger one after our first girl was born. Becouse she liked to stay with us until she felt asleep and then in the morning she liked to come into it with us. we enjoyed that time very much. We knew then that she was going to grow and that time would have been gone forever. We just gave her time until she was ready for her own room. I believe once again I said it...the most important is to make the children happy when they are little. Becouse that will bring later on, happy and healthy people into our world.
Italia Ponk

W.,

Let me just start by saying, there is nothing wrong with meeting the needs of your baby and if she needed to be hugged and loved and sleep with you, then no big deal. Why are there even Mommys if not to take care and nuture our kids?

Okay with that being said, if YOU don't feel that something is right with certain methods or your not sure about them, then follow your instincts. Before my son was born, I read ALL kinds of books about sleeping and methods and then when he was born, it all flew out the window! Instantly, I was an attachment parent of my own kind and followed my heart. My son and I co-sleep in a way that works for him, and its about him not me.

My best advice is think about what you really think will work, and talk to your hubby to get him on board. If sleeping in bed with your baby isn't working, then that's okay. If you want to keep her close, you could consider a sidecar type co-sleeper or just putting her crib in your room or getting a mattress for the floor...there are so many alternatives that it's hard to see them when you are in the thick of it.

Now, as for the sleeping/waking up in a strange place. If it's your choice to get her to sleep on her own in her own bed, then I think it might make sense to start doing that. So, cuddle, rock, sing and love her to almost asleep and then put her down in her bassient or crib and gently soothe her by rubbing her back (or something that lets her know Mommy is there)so she doses off in her sleep place and wakes there. Be consistent, no matter what you choose. With my son he would sleep in his bassinet or co-sleeper for most of the night when I did this, but would eventually end up in my bed and I honestly don't mind. While you transition to whatever you choose, it WILL mean sleepless night. There is no quick fix and trust me, sleepless night come whether the kiddo is in a crib or your bed.

You could also try a transitional object, like a blanket or stuffed toy...my son has a dino that we used when he started having sleep issues do to teething, night terrors and other stuff. It slowly replaces you and allow you to move away from being the point of comfort by making that the object your baby reaches for when discomfort occurs.

Oh, and for teething I use Clove Oil. It reduces swelling and eases pain without meds. Just food for thought.

Please don't beat yourself up! You're doing a wonderful thing by trying to meet your child's needs and following your heart...it will never guide you wrong when it comes to your kids!

I'm not a fan of CIO, and have found much research that shows it's not healthy for kids at any age...but, if it works for some it works! I could just never bring myself to do it.

Good Luck! And, remember sleep patterns are ever-changing and this too will pass.

You say you feel bad for allowing this to happen, but do you know that in most places around the world this is what they expect to happen? Babies belong with mommies, that's why they cry for you in the night, that's why they sleep squished up so close all night. My boy slept with us until he was about 18mo and then he was in a bed bumped right up next to ours. At 2 he decided on his own he wanted to be in his own room - I slept on an air mattress on the floor of his room for a while, first all night, then half the night, then I would just sit next to his bed until he was asleep. He was sleeping through the night every night, without issues by his third birthday. Now at four he goes to bed on his own, sleeps all night, and even stays in bed in the morning after he wakes up to just snuggle with his blankets and take his time waking up. Our daughter is nine months and sleeps with us now, but I know that eventually she'll be out in her own room in her own bed. The first few years of parenting are sure tiring, but they'll be over before you know it and you can't go back and do it again. If you don't want to make her CIO, don't. Is that the memory you want to have of nighttime with your baby, or the sweet smell of her next to you, her waking up and patting your face, cooing quietly in the morning to say "hello mommy"? Obviously I like sleeping next to my babies :) Yes, it's a little crowded, yes, there are nights when I think it would be easier for her to just be in her own crib... but again, it's only a very few short years out of my entire life, so I choose to make it special. Do what's in your heart, not what's on the cover of every "baby sleep training" book - there's a reason those books are so popular, because babies don't naturally sleep on their own all night! They aren't designed that way. By the way, I tried every method known to man on my son and NOTHING worked - crying it out lasted for weeks, not days, and he never did sleep through the night until he was back with mommy and daddy - it was so not worth the stress it was causing him and me, not to mention my poor husband having to hear me complain all the time! If no one is getting any sleep with her IN your bed, try putting a bed right next to yours with a bed rail on it so she doesn't roll off, likely she'll probably stay right up next to you anyway - so you can just put your hand on her back at night but you both have space to move. Good luck and good nights:)

Hi W., I'm going to give you the same advice that i have given manty moms sinse mamasourse has been around, and I feel I can give this advice because as a mom of 3 (now grown) mjy husband and I didn't have sleep issues with our kids. Give her cereal at bed time, rock and sing her to sleep and yes put her in her crib in her own room, I'm surorised she has not grown out of her bassenet yet, mi grew out of there after several weeks. Put a fish tank/aqerieum in her yoom with a blue light that will also serve as a night lite the movement of the water and fish under this soft blue light is very relaxing and soothing, and it should help her fall back to sleep, if you give her attention in the middle of the night, she will continue to wake up because is has now became a habit. W. you and you husband need your room and the marriage bed to yourselves, for reasons i'm sure I don't have o write. I know itwill be hard for you, but your little sweetheart is going to be in the next room not the next block. Let me tell you it is so much fun fixing up a room for a baby, especially a girl cause there is so much more to choose from. You can do, and I'm sure your husband will appreciate sharing the bed with you and only you. J. L.

i didn't want to do cry out loud..so i waited til my son was 9 months old..we decided to wait30 minutes..he cried for 27 minutes then fell asleep..the next night he cried for 5 minutes..i think i did go in sometimes w/ a bottle..i would just hand it to him and leave..and he'd go back to sleep.
I later wished i had done the CIO method sooner...i know it's hard but in the long run everyone benefits..my son is a super sleeper now..he's 3..
he still takes a nap..and he goes off to bed at night easily..sometimes there's a hassle but for the most part he's great..
he even sleeps in late sometimes..like til 10am!
He sometimes wants to sleep with me but then after about 5 minutes he asks to go back to his own bed b/c i stopped co sleeping at 5 months.
you just have to "sleep train" and not keep giving in..it just doesn't work if you keep bringing her into bed..she doesn't know that u don't want that..she thinks that's the way it should be since you allow it.
i'm actually looking forward to my son coming in and sleeping in my bed when he's older and doesn't want to talk all night..he had his first night terror the other night..got into my bed and started gabbing really loud.."mom..do you remember grandma judy? well she has a brand new dvd!" i was like..GO TO SLEEP!
he's still in his crib..and is just now starting to want to sleep in a normal bed. So i'm about to go through that phase...but good luck..you just have to turn that monitor off and try it slowly at first..let her cry for 10 minutes the first night before going in..and each night take a little longer..it SUCKS big time..but then you might get lucky like we did..first night was long..2nd night 5 minutes...and then he never cried again ..just says.."i need a kiss and a hug and a wish"

Questions I would ask if I was doing a consult:
-how often do you feed?
-what is her sleep schedule like? day and night?

Some tips/thoughts:
-Notice how quickly a new habit forms- even if it forms from a legitimate reason (sick, teething...) it seems to stick.
-2 things that are key to being a good sleeper as a baby/child/adult: (1) Being able to soothe yourself to sleep (2) Consistent sleep and enough sleep
*If there is something that you are doing that is inhibiting these things from taking place you should probably alter them.

Where to proceed from this point:
-Get noise makers/sound spas for all your childrens' rooms (http://astore.amazon.com/lullluna-20?_encoding=UTF8&n... you won't have to worry about your step-daughter waking up
-Move your sweet baby into her crib
-Develop a simple sleep routine that you can use every night at bedtime- use it! (Example: Bath, PJs, Book, Feed, put in bed) *Lights off!
-Know that your daughter needs to figure out how to soothe herself- you cannot do this for her (or you will be doing it for her for a long time)- crying will be her way of protesting the change... she is fine... just complaining about change- I'm sure you can relate.
-Hang in there it will take a few days- but you will all be rested and happy in the morning.
-Make sure she is getting the appropriate amount of sleep, taking naps, etc.
Check out this post for more helpful tips on some of these areas: http://www.lullabyluna.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.html

You can do it!!

C., sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com, mother of 3