March 13, 2008,
Y.C. asks from Chicago, IL on March 11, 2008
Seeking Moms Advice for Children with over Exaggerate Fear.
My 6 year old boy is afraid of almost everything. He is afraid of going to the bathroom by himself, afraid of being by himself in his room with the door close, afraid of being by himself without immediate reach of someone. For Example: If he is in the dining table, and I am in the living room where I can clearly be seen by him - he is still afraid and asks me to accompany him. He starts yelling out and consistly calls out for me. Has anyone heard of this? Any ideas to try to get him out of this over exaggerating fear? I will be taking my son to the doctor for suggestions, however, anyone out there that can relate to this?
2 moms found this helpful
J.E. answers from Chicago on March 12, 2008
S.O. answers from Champaign on March 12, 2008
Baby steps. Start by being there for him, finding out how he feels comfortable then slowly take small steps getting him comfortable with the situation more like you'd prefer it.
"The Anxiety Cure For Kids" is great. Goes into much more detail.
1 mom found this helpful
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K.M. answers from Chicago on March 13, 2008
I think this is a very normal thing that is probably being exaggerated due to your separation with your husband. My 6 and 8 year olds still don't like to go upstairs by themselves or have the door closed to their rooms. Your son is just feeling extra needy because of the family situation. I say go ahead and give him the closeness he needs, it will probably lessen as he gets more used to your family situation. Good luck!
M.H. answers from Springfield on March 12, 2008
Did your son's behavor start before or after you and your husband were separated? It sounds like he is feeling the loss (or absence )of his Father and fears that somehow you will also disappear or be taken away from him. Constant reasurance from you that you are always going to be there for him will help calm his fears.
L.P. answers from Chicago on March 12, 2008
Talk to him-let him express his feelings; this is probably "separation anxiety". He is probably afraid that you,too,will be gone.
It's good not to be negative about your husband-but your son
It is a difficult time now, but for your son the issue should be fsced now-so it won't have residual effects.
Good Luck, and this too shall pass-
G.H. answers from Chicago on March 12, 2008
Trying to keep his mind occupied is great. He may be afraid that you're going to leave, like daddy did...Reassure him that you are not going anywhere. It's probably very scary when you leave for work. You're in a very difficult position honey. Show them "all the love you can" when you are together and when you get home from work, tell them, SEE, MOMMYS HOME. Then huggs and kisses. Good luck mommy
W.M. answers from Chicago on March 12, 2008
It sounds like he is seeking your attention, one on one attention. Maybe try spending time with only him for 10 minutes an hour, I know it will be hard with four kids but it can be done. It can be as simple as reading a book, have him help pack lunches, make dinner, anything. My son was acting out being naughty and I tried this and it worked the more I called on him the better he is. I don't know if it builds confidence or just makes them feel safe but it did work for me. I am sorry about your situation and I hope it works out.
L.W. answers from Chicago on March 11, 2008
I feel for you . . . I know this has to be hard. Has your son acted this way all along, or is this something new? I ask because I'm sure some will say that it has to do with your seperation. But my 4.5 yr. old acts the exact same way. And my husband & I are not separated, and have no plans on being separated. We've done everything under the sun to try and reassure him, and we have come to the conclusion (along with several doctors) that this is something he just has to outgrow on his own.
One thing that may be different in our situation is that my husband was the same way when he was this age. So we're believing that some of it may be hereditary. My son also has night terrors and talks in his sleep (so did my husband).
I can't really offer any advice other than what you already know, and that is to just try and be very reassuring. But I understand completely how you feel, and I hope that it gets better. Please let us know how it goes. And if you need an ear, just send me a message and we can talk.
M.G. answers from Chicago on March 12, 2008
I am guessing your separation might have something to do with his fear but that's normal. Both of my daughters, ages 5 1/2 and almost 8, have fear of being left alone. I think it is very normal, though frustrating at times! I try to encourage them about being big girls and sneaking away for a moment so they don't even know I'm gone then pointing out I WAS gone. They are afraid of the dark, leaving the closet door open, being left on a floor of the house if no one else is there, going to the bathroom by them selves, especially when it's dark outside, etc. Just try to encourage him and reassure him you are still there, just not right next to him. It can be exhausting, can't it? Hope this makes you feel a little better.