I need a low cost or free counselor to work with both my husband and I in the philadelphia area. (northeast philly)
I am very thankful for the wonderful suggestions everyone has made; however, I do not believe in going to the church for help. In my opinion, priests & nuns have no experience in marriage and therefore have no right to give me advice. However, I will look into the counseling at my University where I attend. I do agree with some of you who said he did not cheat but he did cheat me out of a good life. It has been extremely painful & heartbreaking for me through this entire experience and I have been the only one who has tried to keep my family together. He has not apologized but he has also not changed for the better. The only + actions he does is go to his meetings. Other then that, he is ignorant and believes he does everything right. It is extremely hard for me to hold on to our family with someone who doesn't seem to care & is self-absorbed. He turned to gambling because finances were really tough! (Really tough) So I get that & I do forgive him for the bad choices he made but I will never forget the hurt I felt. And he continues his lies. He lies about the dumbest things & still does crooked stuff. He won't admit it, but I have caught him. I just feel like it's hopeless. I fell in love w/ him because he made me feel safe & loved, and now I feel abandoned and betrayed. I don't see how it will ever get better. I just don't see how.
Like others, I would suggest your local church. My church offers free counseling and if they can't help you they will help you locate someone who can. You guys definitely need to talk openly about it. Something like that makes it hard to trust the person again, I know, but it can happen.
You can try local universities. My huband and I went to PCOM (on City Ave) before we were married. The therapists are grad students and charge a fraction of the price. Good Luck.
go to a local chruch the pastors/ministers are trained in marriage counsling and can help at no cost or call social services there will be a waiting list but it can help....if you both want to heal it will happen it will take time...my husband and i had a very difficult time 2 and half years ago (he was unfaithful) and we are still rebuilding the trust but in the last two years are marriage has been getting stronger then it was before we were married and counsling has helped big time.....
Hi H., I feel for you. I am very conservative when it comes to money and my husband likes to gamble. I say he has a problem but of course as you probably know he will only admit to a problem when he has just lost big money. I think it's awesome that you had the strength to stand up for yourself. I can't suggest a counselor but have you tried talking to him about how it made you feel. I don't think addicts really think about how their actions affect others. My husband doesn't think what he does affects me or my son but it does. I live with anxiety about money, bills, mortgage, etc. everyday as I am sure you know. Maybe now that he is "clean" he will be able to understand what he did to you and your family and he will regret it. I hope for your children's sake that you can work things out and that he stays strong but getting the trust back is going to be difficult, I'm sure. Good luck with everything.
Awww ....sweetie....I have to agree with another response.He didnt cheat, he gambled. You may feel cheated, but from your marriage. You both can work this out.I dont have any advice other than going to a local church or as another lady stated, an univeristy. You have to do this for your family, not just for you and your husband.In times like this a marriage is not 50/50...it is 100/100.
You had gotton married for better or worse....He didn't cheat on you....he had this gambling issue only. There had to be some marriage problems with him to turn to this. I am not saying that this is your fault, but it takes two to make a divorce. Talk to him and you may come up with what lead to this. Communication is so important in a marriage. Most marriages have little or no communication. He doesn't have to appolgize, as long as he's actions say it. Does he look and act truly sorry? Do you love him enough to forgive him? And you have to remember the children, can they live with no father figure in the home? Divorce is a big step, If you think it's hard now....Going through divorce can be double the trouble. He did truly do a bad thing when he gambled...But he wasn't a bad person, just his actions were.
It is very upsetting to lose everything....although you can build it back by working hard together. Remember it is only things, your children are healthy and so are you and your husband. When you lose your health...It can be alot harder too build back. God bless and good luck in your furture together.
