Seeking Help and Advice on Grandson That Isn't Interested in Eating

Updated on March 11, 2009
M.T. asks from Creedmoor, NC
18 answers

My grandson who is 10 1/2 yrs. old has stopped eating. He has never been a big eater but has lost interest in food and barely eats ANYTHING. He is on a med. that depresses his appetite a little but the doc says he should be starving by the time the meds wear off. Example of his daily intake: Maybe a piece of toast or bowl of grits for breakfast a lot of times just a bite or spoonful, for lunch he drinks 1 bottle of ensure, supper a bite of whatever is served and sometimes nothing. He is skin and bones. Now the dentist has suggested braces - and I know that will keep him from eating at least for awhile and his dad is pushing him to play football and go to football camp. His calorie intake is so little and with the high calorie burning activities he is losing weight. He had gained 6 lbs but most in height he is about 5'5" tall. He is also very irritable at times and can become very manicky at times.

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R.A.

answers from Memphis on

hi
This sounds absolutely terrifying and you need to have another doctor IMMEDIATELY. This condition is serious and will cause malnutrition, undernutrition and sounds life threatening to me.

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M.C.

answers from Knoxville on

you should try juicing vegetables and fruits. you can add tofu to the drinks and its not necessary that he eats meats. Im not a nutritionist, but this could help.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

This may not have anything to do with your grandson but a friend of mine's grandson had the same problem and for him it turned out to be depression. He went to months of counseling and then he ended up having to go to a camp/school for a month where they monitored him and made sure he ate. Over a year later he still has to be told to eat but is doing much better and has gained enough weight to be safe. If they would have intervened sooner he could have gotten better sooner. You really should talk to his doctor and then if the doc says nothing, get a second opinion before it is too late. Good luck

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T.G.

answers from Lexington on

What a great Grandma you are. I'll add that depression can also suppress the appetite. It happened to me back in 2001. So, I eat cause I know I have to, not cause I feel hungry. I concur with Becky L.

A good Natural Path is well worth it. Also research and see if you can find a Quantum Biofeedback Specialist. Either are healthier complements to a physician. I see a physician, but only for diagnostic reasons. I now primarily see a QBS or Natural Path for healing and wellness. It's been more beneficial overall than any MD. MD's made me sicker and worse for 3 1/2 years. MD's can only treat how they have been trained to treat. Which is primarily with Meds, which only treat symptoms, not correct imbalances at the core problem.

I wish you Grandson all the best. I hope his family can get him well and off meds soon.

Here is the site for my QBS: http://www.aquantumoasis.com/?page_id=17 She may be able to refer you to someone, or work remotely. Yes, this type work can be done from a distance. She has clients send in a hair sample and some specific info and can consult and scan clients for issues while on the phone with them. It's remarkable futuristic technology, and it works wonderfully.

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L.J.

answers from Lexington on

One of my sons was around this age, or maybe a little younger, when he simply lost interest in eating. We couldn't persuade him. There was no physical problem. Even now, years later, I'm not sure what caused this.

What I did was to buy a diet supplement drink (something like Ensure--they have them for kids now) so that at least he would be getting his vitamins and minerals. His brothers complained, actually, because they saw that as a special treat. Anyway, my son did drink that regularly and, with time, his appetite returned.

Now he's 19 and can eat three sandwiches in a single meal. (Or an entire pizza.) He's still thin because he burns it off easily, but I no longer have to worry about him not eating.

That would be my advice. Give him a special supplement drink to make sure he's getting the basic nutrition. And let him eat whatever he wants, within reason, without insisting that he get a balanced diet right now. Also, try not to talk about it too much with him. It might actually make him feel more self-concious and less willing to eat. Act normally, and not like he has a problem.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would take him to a Naturopathic Physician, and get him off the meds. NDs have a whole world of real cures that help the body to heal itself and normalize, so that we aren't as dependent on drugs, that often do as much or more harm than good. They would probably change his diet (not that he has much of one to begin with) and perhaps run some tests, and figure out what the real problem is. They would likely spend 60-90 minutes with him on the first visit (rather than 3-5 minutes with an MD). You can find one at www.naturopathic.org. Insurance often doesn't cover them, but I found it to be well worth the cost for myself - and got more help in 7 months of seeing one than in a life time of seeing MDs (whom I still have great respect for and now see for obstetrics, as the ND helped me get pregnant). Their prices are reasonable for what you're getting. Best wishes to you all.

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M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

My son was on meds that suppressed his appetite for 3 years but they took him off during the summer time. I finally took him off completely at 4th grade and said no more. I was tired of him being a zombie or on the verge of killing/breaking everything in sight. Off the meds he caught up and now is 5'11" and 160 lbs and 20.
Also there are other meds for ADHD and is he really that crazed or is it that teachers just don't want to deal with his behavior? Check with his doctor.
I fed my guy lots of milkshakes and fruit smoothies.

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L.C.

answers from Charlotte on

I've had it happen with two of my kids that they weren't getting enough fiber and their bowels were all bound up. They didn't feel hungry I guess because there was nowhere for the waste to go. It might be worth trying an enema and then making sure what he eats in both nutritious and high in fiber.

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T.L.

answers from Charlotte on

I also have ADD as an adult and take the same medication. I can tell you from personal experience that you don't get hungry once the meds wear off. He is not going to eat at the end of the day once the meds wear off. I also lost a lot of weight on these meds, and not intentionally. I can go all day and not eat and then not be hungry. You literally forget about food and forget to eat. I never eat anything, because I am not hungry. The meds pump you up and make you feel good, just like if you had eaten something. You can go all day, feel normal and never eat. You actually feel good. I would suggest taking a break from the meds on the weekends to give him a break and a chance to get hungry and eat. The meds have killed his appetite and he literally doesn't want to eat. I hope he is not on a long acting drug and is just on the regular acting one. This way, once it wears off at the end of the school day, he will be hungry and he will eat. The long acting XR and XL versions last for 12 hours and you never get hungry with them.

You can also try giving him milkshakes and doughnuts to keep up the calories. I know junk food isn't good, but he needs the calories, since he is growing. You should try to give him LOTS of the foods he loves and maybe he'll eat then. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Chattanooga on

M.,
It sounds like you have a lot of advice. I just wanted to add another idea. If his stomach hurts, it could be lactose intolerance- where you cannot digest the sugar in milk any more. It is often acquired with time, and I developed it when I was in high school. My stomach burned a lot, and I felt like food was hurting it and didn't feel like eating much. In the meanwhile, I drank extra milk because it made my stomach feel better in the short time- cooled the burning sensation temporarily. My pediatrician was no help- he suggested that "all teenagers think that they have cancer and are dying"- I never once thought I had cancer so I didn't know where he came up with that. It seemed to me that he was implying that I didn't really have a problem and it was all in my mind which was really frustrating. My mother finally got the lactose idea from someone in her Sunday School class when she was asking for prayers for me, and when she told me she wanted me to give up milk to see if that was what it was, I actually cried. But after a week or so, I was better and felt like eating again. Then I added in the acidophilus type of milk- Lactaid is popular, but I thought it tasted bad; most stores carry at least one type of a local dairy brand or store brand with acidophilus added. The acidophilus makes the milk so that you can digest it. Also I get the Lactaid pills in a store brand generic and use them when I eat cheese, ice cream, or any milk product, and they work really well. If I forget my "milk medicine" as I call it and eat or drink milk products, I am in for a tummy ache, but otherwise, it is easy to deal with. I sure hope that your grandson is lucky enough to have something as simple to fix. I am thinking that Ensure is milk based, but I really don't know. But regardless, I hope that you keep an open mind to the possibility that it may be something else and not necessarily what you expect or something psychological. I am not doubting that those things can be to blame. I just wanted to suggest this possibility too. I pray that he will be back to eating enough really soon. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to message me. I wish you the best. Take care, M.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

does he want to go to football camp? if so tell him he cant go until he starts eating well. in the mean time ask his ped for a referral to a therapist. this sounds like the start of an eating disorder. yes boys can become victims of eating disorders too. good luck

D.B.

answers from Memphis on

Is he sick or complain of tummy aches often? Does he have diarrhea or even problems with constipation? It may be that food makes him feel bad. That's how we found out our daughter had celiac disease. She was 17 and told me she'd stopped eating at school because she would get sick & the teachers wouldn't let her go to the bathroom. Sure enough she has CD. You can get a blood test to find out if he does have it, but often they are not accurate. Gold standard test for celiac is a endoscopy of the small intestine.

If you've not heard of it you can look here http://www.celiac.org/ for information.

Best of luck for you and him as well.

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

not eating is a side effect of ADD meds. but if he is not gaining weight or at least maintaining, the meds should be reconsidered. There are different ADD meds, sometimes switching them up helps. I would also put him on a multi-vitamin. Keep a log of his caloric intake. www.everydayhealth.com has a FREE calorie counter on it. If you send him to football camp, I would stop the meds so he can get the caloric intake he needs.

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K.P.

answers from Fayetteville on

Well, based on your description of him (not eating, irritable, manicky), I am wondering if he is taking an ADHD drug? Those types of meds are stimulants, and contain the same ingredient as diet pills and methamphetime (!). While it may be beneficial for some, it should be closely monitored by his doctor. The dose may be too high, or maybe the side effects are worse than the symptoms it's trying to correct. They are also often over-prescribed. Can his mom take him to another doctor?

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C.D.

answers from Nashville on

M. -
God bless you for your deep love of your family, and your concern for this little boy.
I have read the responses and they all are great. I'd encourage you to try what the others are suggesting.
From a logistical perspective, I wanted to share something with you about what this boy will be dealing with if he stays on these meds long term:
I was talking with my insurance agent awhile back, and she was expressing concern about a child she knows who is on meds, and is approaching his twelfth birthday. She said that a child who is medicated for behavior issues at-or-beyond the age of twelve cannot get health insurance as an adult "unless" they are employed by a company that offers group coverage. They are considered 'uninsurable.'
Unfortunately, doctors do not inform the parents of this, but it is a piece of the file of information that parents need. I would strongly encourage a trip to the homeopathic or naturalist doctor and see if this boy can be weaned off these terribly strong and addictive drugs. You say he has "mild" ADD. He seems - at the age of 10 1/2, and given his physical description - to be seriously over medicated.

God Bless -
CeceD

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M.P.

answers from Asheville on

You had better get him on some quality liquid supplementation to make sure he gets all the minerals his body needs for his brain and his heart! Vemma is one we use and recommend highly. You can Google it or look for my Mamasource business but I don't care if you buy anything from me or not. Kids drop dead on the football fields from cardiomyopathy heart attacks that come from a selinium deficiency. That's the ONLY cause for that death! Once you sweat out all your minerals, the symptom is death. So it's not only an appetite problem but chances are the med he's on is for ADD or ADHD which can be helped with the Vemma too. Psychotrophic drugs are not good for children(or anyone else for that matter) but they were not adequately tested on children and I think it's a travesty that they are being put on them so young. Minerals are critical for the neurotransmitters in the brain to fire correctly. I hope you will do some homework on this or send me an email address where I can send you some documentation on it. ;-) I wish you the best.

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S.C.

answers from Memphis on

Dear M.,

I am glad to hear that you care so much for your grandson that you will seek advice on his health. You are a great grandma!

The first thing that should be done is that with his parents, you should all go to his pediatrician. It is important to do this together so that everyone is working with the same information. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the "so and so said..." and "I know someone who..." things that you forget about the resources you do have. If you do not like what the ped has to say, seek out a second opinion.

Kids grow at different rates and have very different needs. That said, I am an adult on ADD meds. I can only say that as an adult I wish I had been medicated as a child. Not having the "right" balance made life very difficult and interefered with relationships and school/work. I often wonder how different my life would be now, if I had been treated earlier.

Many people will suggest that the boy be taken off his medication. And that is fair if he does not really need it. However, he may actually need it. ADD is real and "disease" (disorder) like any other. And should be treated just like if he had any other disorder or disease.

There are cognitive training skills that can be mastered to treat/overcome mild ADD, while more untractable ADD/ADHD may require medication. With the parents, the doctor, and the child: the diagnosis and treatment can be revisited. Perhaps the dosing can be changed. Or make sure he is not on an extended release formula (SR, XR, XL etc): those last all day. Maybe try the normal release (about 4h) 2X/day.

I do know, however, that the drugs do depress your appetite. I can also get "manic-y" if I forget to eat while on the medication and drink too much caffeine. Food will change that manic feeling almost immediately. Ensure helps, as do vitamins, but Ensure can be very filling, and not leave room for "real" food. Another option is consulting a nutritionist. They can help you come up with a high calorie/less filling but nutritious diet for a growing boy.

I wish you all the best. You are a wonderful Nana to care so much. Work with your daughters and best wishes to you all!

S.

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K.K.

answers from Nashville on

Has he become secretive about his eating, weighs himself often, reads labels a lot to avoid high fat foods? If so, he could be suffering from an eating disorder. While most anorexics are female, more and more boys are getting diagnosed with it. It is especially common for those in sports, such as wrestling. Too low of a body weight can cause a multitude of serious health issues, including heart arrhythmias and death. I don't mean to scare you, but I would take him in for a complete physical. There are definite biological signs -- such as abnormally low heart rate and blood pressure -- that a dr. will look for. Those with eating disorders are also very protective of their eating habits and will not likely be honest with you about how little they are eating. Good luck

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