Seeking for Advice on 14 Month Old Being Around Kids with Bad Habits

there are always going to be kids around our kids that do things we don't approve of. Speak with your niece and explain your concerns and tell her that your rules are to be strictly enforced with your son. My kids will ask(and so will yours as he ages)"Mommy why is that kid...(breaking one of our rules)..." and my response is different families have different rules, his mommy is in charge of him and I am in charge of you...I have explained to my kids what I feel my job as their mother is...to keep them safe and healthy, hopefully happy and to help them become strong boys/men who will hopefully make good choices as they get older...this isn't a sit down conversation that we have it's bits and pieces of each day...the answer to "why I have to go to bed now" is "so you can grow and be well rested for tomorrow"...and your son will come home with things/words that you don't like...just take a deep breath and don't over react to it....keep it simple while he's young with a "we don't do that" but as he gets older tell him why we don't do that....good luck!

Unfortunately you are most likely going to have trouble with this. You are going to have reinforce your values in the evenings before he goes to bed and the weekends. Unfortunately the reality is he will spending the majority of his day five days a week with these girls. Children pick up what they learn from their environment. I would let your niece know what you expect from him and make sure she follows through. Be vigilant about finding out if she does as I have seen trusted family members break rules about foods and drinks they feed children, what is on TV, etc.

I see a difference in my own 14 month old now. Before school let out last year, he had somewhat of a schedule. Once his older brothers were home for the summer (ages 5 and 8), regular naps went out the window and he played differently because he wanted to play with them. You aren't going to be able to keep them separated all day as I couldn't with my boys. It wasn't until school started again that I have been able to try to retrain his schedule. Thankfully that is all that was affected as my older boys are very good boys but it has still been a struggle.

Unfortunately the only other thing I might suggest is if there is another family member or friend available that could watch him, you might want to ask them. BTW, Christina's right. I have had that discussion with my children on many occasions usually after my 5 year old "corrects" someone for doing or saying something we don't allow. LOL

L.

I tend to think what children learn at an early age in terms of behaviors, they take with them as they get older. Bad behaviors need to be corrected early on. You might want to start with your own children when you are with them and talk to your niece so she can follow through with your children when she is with them.

Is your niece old enough to be taking care of your baby and a 3 and 5 year old who have some issues? I know if the baby were in daycare he'd be with all kinds of kids, but with one sitter and two other kids to contend with, I don't think when he's 22 months old he will be getting the attention he is entitled to and certainly will need from your niece. I think you should work something else out that would benefit your little one, and give him every opportunity to grow and develop in a suitable environment.These are the formative years. Good luck. Grandma in Westchester

This is a problem for most of us! There are always - always going to be children around your children who you don't care for...You have to do your job at home...if you are unable to be a stay at home mom, your time frame becomes a lot smaller on a daily basis to correct the behavior(s) you don't like...but start now with what you want him to know...and lead by example...I try to look at every situation, good or bad, as a learning lesson.

It's hard to deal with, I know...we all want the best for our children...he'll be fine...and if you aren't happy, you'll have to look into switching sitters...but then again...once he starts pre-school - it's the same thing all over again...only lots more kids!

Best wishes,
J.

Dear M.,

I agree with Christina completely. I have a childcare center where the children are all raised differently. As parents you are the role models and teachers of your own children. Children may see something inappropriate an try to test the waters but when it comes down to it they will know the difference. Just make sure that your niece knows what your expectations are and is consistent with your discipline practices.

If at all possible, take your child out of the environment immediately. My children are ages 11, almost 10 and 5. I watch who they play with like a hawk. They pick up bad habits at the drop of a hat. On the positive side, if you are an involved parent and model positive behaviors at home, your child will know right from wrong. I try to stay on the move with my children at all times, getting them involved in after school activities and keeping them away from the TV by going to the library or playing outside. Let's face it... you can't live in a bubble. But don't be afraid to monitor your children's friends, especially when they are older.
Hope this helps.