Seeking Advice on Sleep

My son went through the same thing. Right around his first birthday he started walking and it definately effected his sleep patterns. After a few weeks he was fine and sleeping well again.

I would also agree with the time he is going to bed. We used the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book. It is great and gives easy suggestions on small changes you can make that will make a HUGE difference in his sleep patters.

Hi R.,
I would put him to bed much earlier, say 6:30-7pm. He should be averaging about 12 hours each night. A great book for age appropriate sleep needs and schedules is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He does talk alot about the CIO method and not much on the family bed, but the info on natural sleep rhythms is right on. Many times if adjustments are made in the sleep schedule to sync with a child's natural sleep rhythms, sleep problems disappear. Email me if you have questions.
Sincerely,
L.

How about you sleeping in a different room for a while? This is what we did when our son was 13 months. My husband would comfort our son when we woke up, and he cried, but not inconsolably. After about a week, he slept through the night, and with just some exceptions, he has for the past year.

I know its tiring to nurse on demand and have them sleeping with you. I did the same thing but didnt night wean til he was 18 mos and id it with the help of my hubby.
I would go in and nurse him for 10 min. or so, then I would say now daddy is coming in to put you night night. He cryed a little for the 1st few nights and when he would wake up- daddy consoled him( I even slept on the couch a few times). It was pretty fast actually and then I totally weaned him at 2 with daddy help again. Now his dad and he really love their book reading time and going to sleep- and I get to relax a bit. It may be tough and early to wean at 1- have you tryed a BPA free pacifier? Hes probably not hungry, just wanting nurturing. Good luck
Also remember when they hit milestones or are teething- it affects their sleep and routine.

He is old enough to sleep all night without food. So, if it's comfort he needs and he is teething then perhaps try a little pain relief for his gums or a dose of
Baby Tylenol and lots of cuddles - maybe a rock in the the rocker and some lullabies. Does a paci help? Maybe the kind you chill to numb the gums??
If he still wants to eat - try pushing back his last solid meal and nurse session a bit. He is at the age where the baby teeth start coming in bunches and it can be really rough.
Also there is the concern that you are teaching him to soothe with food....maybe. Who knows.
You sound like a loving mommy and I'm sure you aren't causing him to feel abandoned!! Stop feeling guilty!
Unfortunately - these little guys don't come with an operater's manual OR a translation book!

Can't say we're experts as we still struggle with sleep and our daughter is 16 months old, but The No Cry Sleep Solution was a big help to us too. Getting her to take a love seems to have made the most impact as that paved the way to putting herself down for bed and naps by herself. Not transferring her to her crib in her sleep made a big difference in the amount of time she slept there before coming to bed with us. Still teething rounds seem to undo the progress we make all too often. Sigh.

A little more on the love: http://lilialately.wordpress.com/2009/03/23/lilia-has-a-l...

Basically we had to lavish love on her lovey before she really began to. Think of it as a cup you fill with love so your little one can drink from it when you're away.

Hi R.,

I'm sure others have said these things, and maybe this is just reinforcement...

My now 3-year-old was a TERRIBLE sleeper until he was about 19 months old and I was a month away from giving birth to baby #2. We finally had to let him cry and scream and it was awful, but now he sleeps through the night. He too, slept in our bed most of the time and we just had to cut him off, mainly because I was pregnant and couldn't handle the thought of having two little guys waking up all night long. (When would I sleep???) I know it is hard, trust me. But it feels really good to get a full night sleep - for weeks or months in a row. You'll be able to give him more of you during the day because you'll be more rested, not to mention you won't be bitter that he kept you up all night (like I started to be).

If you are feeling really guilty at first, I did too. We started by giving him no milk/bottle/nursing during the night, just like you did. If he cried we'd hold him or snuggle with him. After a few weeks of no milk and all that, we changed to no holding, just a kiss or a rub on the back or something to assure him that we are here and we love him and then back to our own beds. After a few weeks of that, it was no response at all...I truly think if you give them no reason to wake up at night (nothing to look forward too like a snuggle or a bottle or nursing) then they'll realize that sleeping is the most favorable option.

Good luck!!!

There's a great book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley that I believe addresses this. She's definitely supportive of cosleeping, so perhaps that might help you out. The Sears book on Nightime Parenting might as well. This is really hard. Good luck! I think that at a year I was still nursing several times a night.

One other thought--perhaps you could start working on putting him to sleep without nursing being the last thing that happens. Then he could begin to accustom himself to getting to sleep without nursing.

We went through this with my daughter around that age. She was (and always has been) a great sleeper, but just before her first birthday (reaching a big independence milestone: walking), she woke up crying to nurse at night. I knew I couldn't handle it so I sent my husband to her. She still got comfort, learned that night time is NOT nursing time, and after three hellish nights returned to sleeping straight through and has woken up since only a handful of times (she'll be 4 in September). When I say hellish, here's what happened: my husband spent 45 minutes comforting her back to sleep the first night, 20 the second, 5 minutes the third, and that was IT! Not so bad. That first night nearly killed us all but 45 minutes really isn't so long in hindsight.

Long story short, I think it's time to send in your loving husband and teach your little one that mommy sleeps at night and he might as well too, since while daddy may be comforting, he just ain't quite worth waking up for.

Good luck!

K. in EC

We are in the exact same place (literally and figuratively). We live in the woods in the Sierras and my 18 month old is nursed to sleep and sleeps till 5am. She sleeps in a toddler bed next to me. We've been on the sleep to 5am schedule since she was one and most nights it works great, but there are those nights that she's really upset. If I give in and nurse her then I have to start all over again. So, I offer her water now instead and cuddle and sing so she knows she's supported. I also have a clock I put at the foot of her bed and I will light it up and tell her the clock says its night-night time. She seems to be able to accept that the clock is the authority. If she wakes up she'll crawl into my bed with the clock for me to check. The nights that she was teething were rough! But I truly believe that if I let her nurse they still would have been rough. At this point with her I am trying to push 5am back to 7am, and I can tell I'm going to have to start all over again with the tears just like before, but its worth it for the better sleep most nights (also she sleeps better now too and thats good for her). Good luck!! Enjoy!! The teething only lasts a few nights.

My daughter is also one and sleeps in the bed with us. I have found that it works well if we if we nurse more during the day, give her a good dinner and a snack about an hour before putting her to bed, and an hour later go back and nurse her again.
Unless he is sick or in pain, he should sleep pretty good for at least 6 hours, when he will want to nurse again.
During growth spurts and illnesses, she will still nurse all night, because she needs to. After her normal 6 hours, she still nurses and sleeps for a few hours before she wakes up and has breakfast.
We're definitely not perfect, but we both get plenty of sleep this way.
My key again: Nurse a few times before the 'night' starts. Give him 2 hours of available breast, and he should be okay for another 6. If this still doesn't work, and he's eating lots during the day, consider seeing a lactation consultant. Most local hospitals have them. They know everything related to nursing, and can be very helpful.

You are doing the right thing. This screaming sounds like an ear infection. Have the doctor check him out. My son went through the same adjustment that you are making and is ok. Keep it up!

don't beat yourself up for nursing once... but try not to make it a habit. this is probably teething or an illness. for us it was really important to quit nursing to sleep - your baby may protest the change a bit at first but i found it led to better sleep. also, thinking ahead, you want to break that nursing to sleep association before you start weaning, whenever you choose to do that. good luck.

Hi R.,
I did the same thing for 13 months, nurse to sleep and then nurse all night, and then a very modified CIO, with only my fiance going to him occasionally the first three nights. And occasionally he'll wake once and its usually when he's teething. Unfortunately, its most painful and wakes the baby when the teeth are first coming in so you can't tell that it's teething. Try to put your finger in his mouth and see if you can feel them coming in. And if you aren't opposed (or ask your pediatrician) give him a dose of infant motrin before bedtime. This helps my little guy when he's teething.
I would continue to go to him at night, but don't nurse him back to sleep if you don't want to start that habit again. Just hold him awhile until he calms down, and then put him back in his cosleeper.
We have our baby in his own room now, which helps because he doesn't hear/smell us now. You may want to try that if you have the extra room.
Good luck, let us know what happens!
A.

i don't know if any other mom's had a comment re: the warmer weather we've been having -
is little one getting extra fluids in the day for the warmer weather? even i had a large glass of water by my bed last night, it was so warm! even keeping cool in AC or a fan dehydrates us -
just a thought to consider along with all the great advice you're getting!
lotsa love,
S.