Seeking Advice from Experienced Moms Regarding Sleeping

My babies always woke up as soon as I laid them down too. 2 of my kids had refulx so they needed to sleep in a more upright posistion so they slept in their bouncy seat for the first 3 months. My other 2 liked the feeling of being snug so I would swaddle them and then they slept in their carseat. During the day when I didn't need my sleep as much, I would put them in their bassinet and then I would work with them on sleeping laying down flat. Eventually (around 3 months) they were fully sleeping in their own bed.

Both of my babies did that in the first few months. It was exhausting until I learned out of complete desperation and accident to cosleep with them. I would breastfeed them lying on my side in bed and then we would fall asleep in that position. At the next feeding, we would switch to the other side.

We were very stressed out by this with my first - worried we were creating a bad habit. Worried about safety, etc. But, we bought a bed rail and then never worried about him rolling out. My husband just slept a little further over on his side so there was never a concern of him rolling on the baby. Both were easy to wean from our bed. I think we started around 5 months ish for both. After a feeding and they were good and asleep, we would just transfer them to the crib. Each and every day, they get more used to it until they stay in there and never come into our bed. It has never been an issue with either of them. I think infants just need to be close to their moms as they have never been apart from you before then. Every other culture cosleeps and there are many pro-cosleeping websites/articles, etc. Dr. Sears (famous pediatrician - see his website and books) is big on co-sleeping. I agree that it reinforces mother/infant bonding and helps your infant feel safe and secure - good ways to start their life.

Hope this helps if you find yourself desperate for sleep. Good luck!

Is your baby swaddled? Very helpful. In addition while baby is swaddled, use the rock/shhhhh method. Basically hold her in your arms are move your arms up and down to create a little rocking motion and create a shhhh shhhh shhhh sound. Like the sounds the womb makes. Sounds kind of like rain or the ocean. When baby is heavy in arms and fast asleep. Hold her close to your body all the way down into the bassinet . There was a lot of motion and sound in the womb. Try to recreate that sensation. If she waked up after lying her down , gently Rick her body from side to side and continue with the shhhhhhh, shhhhhh method. Hope this helps.

I would suggest swaddling her if you are not already. It will make her feel safe. Also, lay her on something with your scent. A nightgown, shirt, etc. Hope this helps!! Good luck!

Hi! I apologize if someone already suggested this, but my first thought was that maybe the matress/sheets are cold, especially with the colder weather these last couple of days. With both of my kiddos, I had to get creative to help them sleep. I found that it was alot easier for them to stay asleep from my arms to their bed it is was warm. So, my mom suggested trying a heating pad to warm up the area and it worked like a charm!(Of course I moved the heating pad before I laid her down). Just an idea! Good Luck and blessings to you and your new baby girl!

What I do is probably not preferred by other moms that have responded, but you know what, I'm not sleepy all day! I nurse my newborn, born 10/8. My next youngest child was treated the same way. Anyways, I usually fall asleep while nursing. I sleep on the recliner, with my boppy positioned in such a way that he will not slip off. Also, he falls asleep while nursing too, and he'll wake me up when he's ready to eat again. At the beginning of the night, or if I am awake enough after he's done eating, I'll lay him on the couch. My 2 youngest children did/do not like the playpen bassinet or most other beds in our house. But, they like the couch! I get sleep and so do they! That's my advice. Couch, or your arms in the recliner. Works for me.

I have three daughters (19, 17, 8), and I breastfed all three. I always nursed my babies to sleep, I never just simply laid them down for bed.

It was difficult with all of my girls to move them from the nursing position to their crib. My youngest never slept in her crib. Looking back, I don't even know why I had one?! I don't recommend letting your baby sleep with you. We did let our daughter sleep with us because it was easy and everyone got sleep. However, as she got older and was no longer nursing, it wasn't good and nobody got (good) sleep!! If I had it to do over again, I would make her a nice comfy pallet on the floor in my room. I'd lay down on the pallet to nurse her to sleep, then get up and in my bed. If she wakes up, I'd do the same with the other breast -- you can sleep right there, or get in your bed. Your baby sleeps well, you get some good sleep, and your hubby gets a good night's sleep too!! It sure beats you being totally uncomfortable and fatigued. Good luck to you and your family, and congratulations on your success with breastfeeding!!

Don't have much advice on how to fix this but it is normal. I don't think I put my daughter down literally for the first 3 months. I would sleep at night with her on my chest. (not recommending that) She was colicky. Could finally get her to sleep in a swing. She did sleep in a bassinet her first few days like your daughter, but I think she figured out it is best being held. She is almost 11 months n has yet to sleep through the night. Pacifier and learning to nurse laying down has helped me a lot. Have you tried swaddling? Just remember all babies are different and you have to find what works for you.

Sorry if I am a repeat, I haven't read your other posts! Do you swaddle her? Swaddling really helps a lot of babies feel secure and sleep well. If you have trouble and she is getting an arm loose and flailing about, they have blankets at Walmart, I think called Swaddle Me blanket, that you can use. If she is having some other issues, like getting stuffy or something when you lay her down you can always put her to sleep in her swing or bouncer. Some babies have tummy trouble as well and have a hard time being laid flat. Is she spitting up every time she eats? Is it a good amount of spit up? My son had reflux and was put on prevacid at about a month old, so that can contribute as well. If it isn't something like reflux, gas can be a little troubling and you can give her mylicon which can be purchased at any pharmacy OTC, this may help her sleep as well. Good luck!! You will get to the bottom of it and get it sorted out:) Congratulations on your new little one!!

Goodmorning L.,

Are you laying your baby on that cold plastic mattress with just a sheet over it? In my experience, put her on a sheeps skin or something soft & warm, then she will sleep better. Hope that helps you. God bless you & your sweet baby girl. W.

Feed her and ut her down. If it's still daytime when she wakes up, let her play, but if it's night and time for bed, check to see if she need a change of diaper. Also offer more food. Some babies matabolism is such that they require more feedings. If she's not wet or hungry, leave her in the crib If she cries, let her cry. It won't hurt her and she will learn that when it's bedtime, it's bedtime and she might as well get used to it. It will upset you at first to hear her cry, but get over it, she will.

We had the same problem...with our first, she slept with us, on us, a lot...with #2, she slept with me (dh was done with sleeping with babies at that stage!). By the time #3 came along, I was older and exhausted, so I got a little portable swing which saved my life. It had music and lights as well, so if she started to stir I could put the music on and usually get a few more precious moments of sleep from her. Then, when she woke up, I could put the lights on and she would sit and watch them for awhile before she would get cranky. That swing saved my life! I think it was made by fisher price and we took it EVERYWHERE (#3 was colicky). Good luck!

Congratulations! We experienced the same but worse, we used warm cammomile tea. Also, are you drinking caffeine? If so it may affect your baby. I hope that helps.

This is perfectly normal. How long will the sleepless nights continue? It depends... Our daughter was sleeping about 5-6 hours by the time she was about 9 weeks old. For others it is much longer. We found co-sleeping to be very beneficial for us. I would recommend reading Dr. Sears' books on this subject (there are several to choose from), but the Baby Book was what was most helpful to me. I read several sleep books, but his made the most sense to me. Several others mentioned swaddling. Our baby hated to be swaddled. I say try it and if it works, go for it. If not, though, you'll need to try other alternatives. Our daughter liked sleeping in her infant carrier. The sleepless nights are no fun, but remind yourself that it's only temporary and try to catch up on sleep when the baby is sleeping. Also remember that infants under 6-8 weeks should NOT sleep longer than 4 hours... you will need to wake her to be fed. Best wishes to you!

If you are not swaddling, I would definitely recommend that, it will definitely help baby feel comfy and cozy!

www.babycenter.com has some great info:

http://www.babycenter.com/baby

Every baby is different, you just have to get to know your own baby and their patterns, likes, dislikes, etc.!

Congratulations!

You need to try and get her on a cycle that looks like: eat, wake, sleep- eat, wake, sleep- instead of falling asleep when she is eating or just after, try changing her diaper after she nurses and keeping her awake just a little bit (even 15 min) then wrap her tight and put her in one of those positioners that keeps her from moving to much- helps to mimic the womb. She should be able to sleep that way- you can't spoil a newborn so you could also get you a sling or a wrap and let her sleep on you during the day- I have even slept in my recliner wearing mine for the first few weeks. Whatever it took until I could get them to the eat, wake, sleep cycle. I have 4 and they have all been happy babies and great sleepers because of that cycle. It is taken from the On Becoming Babywise - but without the cry it out thing. Once on the cycle I knew from their cues what they needed and it worked out well! Good luck sweet mommy!

Does she spit up a lot? Or burp well? Sometimes her tummy could hurt from eating and laying her down flat doesn't feel well. Try putting her to sleep in her swing or try during the day putting hee down on her tummy while watching her and see if she sleeps better that way! I know, you are not suppose to do that but I needed sleep and so did my kids so tummy it was!!! But she also needs to learn to self soothe. If she is not in pain, has burped and is clean, then lay her down and let her go to sleep on her own. Don't make the mistake of always putting her to sleep when she is asleep otherwise it will hard when she is older putting her downwhile awake. If she sleeps 1-2 hours that is normal for this age!!! My doc. Told me that at about 4 months old they can sleep 6-8 hours at night. Hang in there! The first month or two is always the hardest! It gets better!! Just sleep when she sleeps right now.

Hello L.!

I am also a firtst time mom and my son just turned 8 months. A friend recommended "Healthly Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth when my son was 6 weeks old. It has helped us tremendously. It is gives a good details about the sleep needs of children at various stages of development from weeks old to teenagers. It also provides multiple ways on how to help your child sleep better by working with their natural processes and the comfort level of their parents. My son has been sleeping consistently throught the night and since 3.5 months (6:30 to 7:30) and from 6weeks to 3.5 mo. was only waking up 1-2x from 6:30pm to 8:30am. I am not saying the book will solve your problems but it will give you good information for making the right decisions for you and your daughter. You both need sleep! Good Luck!

Oh, L.- you have the exact questions I had with my newborn son (now 18 months). Where is the baby sleeping in the bassinet on the formula commercial???? The reality is that most babies want to be held about 20 hours/day for the first 6-12 weeks. For about 2 weeks, they will can be lain down, but after they "wake up" at about 2 weeks, they want to be held.

Here is what worked for me:
1. Sit in rocker with pillows under my arms, then I can relax my arms and lean back so that I can sleep while the baby sleeps in my arms.
2. I used a Maya Wrap baby sling so that he could be on my shoulder(preferred position) or in cradle position and sleep. Then I could get something done (like eat) or rest in the aforementioned rocker.
3. I used a curved changing table pad covered with a soft microfiber cover IN OUR BED for him to sleep on. I could ease him onto it, while keeping my arm "around" him, and sleep on the bed next to him. I was less worried about SIDS b/c he wasn't on my mattress, and I couldn't roll onto him. However, i don't think this worked until about 6 weeks.
4. SWADDLE, swaddle, swaddle- get a swaddle wrap.

Only one of my friends told me, "the first six weeks are hell", and she was right. It is really tough at first as they get used to being born, but the rewards are so great.

I recommend you read "happiest baby on the block" and "healthy sleep habits, happy child". These were my 2 best resources.

Congratulations on your beautiful new girl! Don't be afraid to call your pediatrician even if you feel dumb- that's what they are for!

her origional pattern sounded normal. once our son started wakeing even after being swaddled we started using the swing durring the day. once he fell asleep in it we left him there. we also have a chair that converts to a rocking chair which we loved. rocked him to sleep then we could pick it up and move him to a quiter location. also white noise, black out shades, and very little light in there room helps a ton. i didnt get any sleep ( 30 min naps ) for the first three months. after that the naps got longer. it was one yr before i sleept all night long.

This is somewhat normal being that all babies are very different. You can get the book "Babywise" and it will direct you better than anyone else can. Especially since you're nursing.
I have three kids. The first two I just figured it out, but mostly all wrong. The third one came 10 years after the next oldest and I used Babywise. What a difference in the infant stage and throughout. She's very well adjusted and has always maintained good sleeping patterns. She knows how to put herself to sleep without help. She's now 11, but she's always been good in that area. When she was a toddler, she knew when she was tired and she'd put herself down for a nap! Amazing book. You just need consistency and the knowledge that you need to be somewhat tough skinned while doing this. Being a softy does not help you or the baby. Be tough from day one because they'll catch on by day two how to push your buttons.
If she wakes when you put her down, just say something soothing (that's for you really :) and then walk away. Don't hold her in order for her to go to sleep. You'll be sorry later. Let her learn to put herself to sleep.
The book tells you how to feed the baby and why this pattern makes them sleep better and in a healthier way.
Best of luck and God bless your new family.
D.

There are lots of good suggestions here, you'll have to find a way to make them all work together for you...one more thing though: Make sure that you have baby exposed to a variety of noises while both awake & sleeping...you will want her to be able to sleep if she's tired while you're shopping/visiting/eating out, etc rather than just fussing because she doesn't have perfect silence to sleep in. Please be careful to condition her to embrace the noises rather than startle at the tinest sound...imagine not being able to wash dishes, vacuum, or have someone come to the door because your toddler is napping. (Yes, I realize that's a ways out & you're just trying to sleep now, but thinking about it now will save you TONS of heartache over the years!) Thumbs up to the swaddle recommendations, and a heartbeat bear in combination might help too. When my 1 wk old nephew quit sleeping at night, I encouraged my SIL & brother to only swaddle at night, & leave him "loose" during the day. He quickly changed his patterns to sleep at night & to be a little more awake during the day. You will just have to try different things...and each of your kids will be different! Mine were. Good luck & sweet dreams :)

Have you tried swaddling? That's the only way my girls would sleep up to about 2 or 3 mo old! Also if your bassinet has the vibrating option try that or gently rock or shake it very softly. Also try a sleep positioner to keep her from moving around and waking herself up. Make sure she's not dressed to warmly under the blanket you swaddle her with. And you could try a pacifier too. Hope this helps and congrats!

It seems that your beautiful gift has become comfortable with falling asleep in your arms. Next time place her in her bassinet/pac n play before she falls asleep. Try at nap time first. She may cry at first but don't let her cry for too long. Remember, our precious ones know the rhythm of our hearts which is the way they first identify us (Mom and Dad). Try it and let me know what happens, I may have more advice. My dtr was a night owl (10p-2a, no sleep) at birth so my husband and I have not forgotten her still now sleeping habits. Well it has improved by 2-3 hours. This was almost 7 yrs ago. Of course, every child is different. God bless, no stress!!!

Hi there,

All babies cry alot for the first couple of weeks, it is their only way of communicating.

Ok so I was given ALOT of advice when my son wouldn't stay asleep when I put him in his bassinet, but I thought I knew better.... lol 3 years later I am still paying the price, he still needs me to cuddle with before he can fall asleep and then he wakes up multiple times at night.

This is going to sound very hard but babies do not go to sleep easily or naturally. You have to teach then how to sleep. I have been listening to moms who have successfully gotten their babies to sleep 4+ hours in a row at night.

The first thing to do is during the day maske sure you feed your baby when she wakes up. Do not let her fall asleep at the breast. So that she doesn't build the association of feeding means go to sleep afterwards. Generally if you can get this right during the day you can teach her not to rely on you for a sleep aid at night. My Aunt is a Doula and has assisted 100's of new moms get their babies on a routine so that they eat and sleep well and mommy can get her rest too.

At the beginning of breast feeding you need o make sure that she gets used to eating until she is full, not just snacking as my son used to do. Eventually he was nursing every 2 hours which meant neither of us got enough sleep.. makes for a cranky baby and a cranky mommy.

Make sure she is fed, dry diaper and comfy put her swaddled in her bassinet and let her go to sleep, I know it is hard to hear her cry but it will only get worse as she gets older unless you show her how to sleep now. This is a very contraversial subject and everyone has their own opinion but you need to decide early on, how important is sleep to you and how important is it not to have to get up at all hours of the night for the next 2-3 years.

My #2 is due in 8 weeks and this time I am not going to be making the same mistakes again. I will be listening to the advice of my aunt and other mom's who have successfully gotten their babies to sleep for decent quantities of time at night. I don't expect a baby to sleep 10 hours in a row, just 4 at a time are good.

I was a preemie baby and weighed 6lbs at birth, 6 weeks early.. in the olden days they had nursing babies on the same schedule as breastfed babies, I was only fed every 4 hours and I thrived.

It is all a matter of priority, you can decide baby comes first no matter what or you can decide to limit the night time play/snuggle and rather enjoy your daytime together and get some sleep at night.

I read every book available on the market when my son was 1 years old... however sad to say it was too late....

The book that made the most sense was Healthy Sleep habits, happy child.

I hope this helps even a little.

Blessed Mom to a beautiful, demanding 3 year old and expecting # 2 shortly :)Been married to the man of my dreams for 9 years.