So I had to go to my sons middle school to meet with one of his counselors this morning. He was not in trouble we are just switching his schedule around. Anyway I was told the new VP would like to talk to me so the counselor called her in. Honest to god moms when I saw this woman walking down the hall I just about died. WAY to much fake baking, way to much makeup, skin tight (white)pants, 6 inch heels, a low cut shirt way too much cleavage. You know those women you see walking out of biker bars yep that is the look. Anyway she sits down and proceeds to tell me that my son-( honor roll student) is a ring leader and a trouble maker and that if he does not respect her authority. Really I said maybe just Maybe a woman that is a vice principal in a Middle School that is surrounded by hundreds of boys ages 12-15 should at least try to dress like an adult, there is a dress code for students is there not one for faculty? She didn't like my response and said the way she dresses is not the issue.
Don't get me wrong I am not a prude and I have no problem with women expressing themselves but I think it is different if you are supposed to be leading kids. And I did tell my son to watch himself that she is the VP and he needs to respect that.
Here is my question would you or your 14 year old child automatically respect a woman like this?
And if a woman is a position of authority over teenage boys shouldn't she be aware of her sexuality?
Okay just to Clarify- I did talk to my son about respect he knows to respect anyone in authority and I am sure he has said smart mouthed things all teenagers do and yes I do expect him to be reprimanded for it.
I'm just gonna refer to something my Mom told all three of us girls growing up - "You dress and act like a lady people will tread you like a lady. You dress or act like trash, people will treat you like trash. Respect is not a given, it is earned."
I would call the main office and complain about her dressing too risqué. She needs to be reigned in by a supervisor.
LOL-I can't believe you told her that! Good for you-she definitely needed to hear it!
Oooh...I do not think you should have confused the issue. The issue you were to discuss was your son's behavior not the way you saw the VP dressed one particular day. I think you were way out of line. It is besides the point that your son is also an honor roll student.
To answer your question would I or my child respect a woman like this? YES! Until she gave me a real reason not to I would and a child of 14 should simply respect her because she is the VP. I hope your son does not hear you talking about this. It would send a terrible message.
I totally feel that any person in a position of authority has a duty to conduct themselves in such a manner. As far as the fake bake... nothing you can do. Cothing, I agree with you 100% that she should not be walking around like that in front of any of her students. It doesn't matter if they are male or female students. She should be dressing appropriately for school. The kids are expected to now-a-days, and if they don't, they are either given a slip or sent home. Would a girl at that school be allowed to dress that way? I can't believe that anyone would hire her if dressed that way for an interview. I would talk to the principal and if that doesn't work, go to the Superintendent. There is a dress code for staff, at all schools. Ask to see it. We, as parents, should be holding our teachers and others in positions of authority, to higher standards. BS that she should be able to dress the way she wishes...What is she trying to do? Get some teenage boy in to her car? And really does anyone that conveys that type of message deserve respect? I don't think so. I am no prude either but I am sick and tired of seeing woman/men, moms/dads, teachers, staff, in school either wearing pajama pants to school or dressing like they should be at a night club. If the teenage girls at the school have a dress code, she should be following that. I can only imagin what the kids say about her behind her back. Would you have any respect for a dentist that had nasty teeth and breath? No. Would you have any respect for a Dr that was obese and tried to tell you how to obtain good health and eat healthy? No. Would you have any respect for a boss that dressed liked he just got out of bed and was late every day? No. Appearance is everything, like it or not. If she's not respected in school, maybe she should look in the mirror. You can only gain respect, if you respect yourself. I can't believe more kids aren't in trouble for being smart mouths (not saying it makes it right). Back when we were in school......she would not have been allowed to be in a classroom if she dressed like that. That's whats wrong with this country,people with no self respect or morals are allowed to be in control. Bottom line, EVERYONE must earn respect, it should not be automatic just because of a title.
I agree that you missed the point of the conversation with the VP. It is quite normal to go on the offensive when we are told that our children are not meeting expectations. I think it would have been better to wait for a later date to bring up her appearance. I'm sure you are not the only one who feels her attire is not appropriate for the situation, but that has nothing to do with your son's behavior.
Should your son automatically respect her? Yes. She is his assistant principal. She is in a position of authority over him. And, this one should be obvious...She is an adult! He needs to respect her simply because of that fact!
I agree that she was probably dressed less than what she should have been for her position. However, I feel that you were out of line in what you said to her. She was trying to talk to you about an issue she is having with your child and you blamed it on her because her pants are too tight? Seriously?
Seems like the staff would have the same dress code as students or at least similar to me. If students are not respecting her authority then maybe she might want to consider why that is. Good for you for saying something! I might have started laughing :) Yes, we teach our kids to respect adults regardless, but still, that is a little funny!
If my teenaged son didn't automatically respect an authority figure then he would be in huge trouble! We teach our kids to show respect, even when not deserved you still show the person respect. I'm not so sure this woman was neccesarily out of line. What is wrong with wearing heels and pants that aren't sagging in the butt and crotch? And too much makeup for whom? Why do you think it is wrong to wear a lot of make up and what does fake baking have to with anything? Your son being disrespectful is the issue here, not her wardrobe choice.
I think it's GREAT you said something. She sounds hypocritical to me and nothing worse than a hypocrite. Does she actually sit down w/ some of the female students in an outfit like that if they're not meeting the dress code? It's really pretty funny. I think obey and respect are two different things. A 14 year old boy has to follow the rules and respect her position but I don't think you can order respect of the actual person... I was always super well behaved but some teachers etc I respected, others I obeyed bc that's how I was brought up but I didn't necessarily respect them...
The way many of the teachers dress in our school system is disgusting, however, this has been brought up many times by many parents and the bottom line is they have no dress code.
No your son does not and should not respect her. However, he does need to respect authority. Which means in your house you he can agree that she looks like she should be standing on the street corner, but in school he needs to keep his mouth shut and smile alot.
while I agree with you that she should dress more conservatively/professionally, I also beleive this is a great opportunity to teach your son and other boys not to treat someone a certain way based on what they are wearing. Girls wearing short skirts and revealing tops are not necessarily more willing or wanting to be sexual than their conservative counter parts. I remember in high school I was in track, and ran in running tights. Today, that is nothing - do this anywhere - even the grocery store, but that the time, I was told I was soliciting bad behavior from boys to do that. No, I wasn't. I was exercising, in appropriate (not see-through in any way) athletic apparel.
it wasn't my BEHAVIOR that was eliciting the comments from my family and neighbors - it was my clothes. And as ridiculous as this sounds today... at the time, it was a problem.
So I think it's good to teach him that the clothes do not matter as much as the behavior, and authoitative position.
Good luck!!
HAHAHA You are my hero.
And yes she should dress like a middle school principal. She won' have her job long.
I like the way Theresa put it. Hope you don't mind if I use that one.
I think the real lesson here is that sometimes you have to play the game. It won't be the first time in your son's life he has to be nice or respectful to someone who does not deserve it.
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with a couple of the other posters.
Yes, absolutely, your son needs to respect certain authority figures! And yes, you need to be careful how you maybe talking about certain adults, this woman in particular, so your opinions don't transfer over to him.
BUT, I do completely agree, that to a certain degree respect is earned. And it certainly sounds like she does not present an image that the kids are going to take serious, especially in a middle school! Been there, done that!
When our son was in 5th grade, we showed up to parent teacher conferences, with our son by teachers request. She had on leggings, a button down shirt with just 2-3 buttons, buttoned and her belly ring hanging out! I'm sorry, you are my son's teacher, not working at Spencer's in the mall. AND these are boys who are starting to notice things like that. Now granted, there was A LOT more to our decision, but that was the final straw where we did put him into a private school with similar values to ours like one of the posters suggested.
Good Luck!
You might be able to download the teacher's handbook from the school website. I would bet there is a teacher dress code. I agree, it should have been kept separate from your boy's issue, but now that that is past, you can deal with the other if you wish. You might stop in again and see if it was a one time thing or ongoing.
I have worked in the schools for 20 years and have 2 kids in schools and have never seen anything like that! It is not the norm and yes, she should present herself better.
j
It does not sound like she was dressed in a respectable manner. I would have a hard time myself having respect for someone who dressed in such a sexual manner even if they were my boss or the VP or CEO of a bank.
I think that if a person wants to be respected she should dress in conduct herself in a respectful manner. It is no wonder why the students don't respect her. I sounds like she is trying to dress to attract a teenage boy. Is she conducting her self the same way?
