SAHM Feeling Blue About Youngest Going to Kindergarten

The first day for my youngest last year was tough for me. It was even worse when we entered tge classroom! She was the only child that gave me a hug and said bye! The rest of the kids were crying and clinging on to parents. I signed her in, tucked a copy of a poem the teacher had out in my bag and slipped out.
I was really teary eyed-until I read the poem and then I fell apart. Within a week I had a new routine going and she was loving school. The next month I started volunteering in the class two days a week (I'm also I full time student) I was glad to be able to do it since few parents could. The other volunteers had problems with their child being clingy or wanting their attention-mine was just excited that I came and proud to share me.

Awww, I know how you feel, I was right where you are when my youngest started K last year. Now she's in first, started school today with her sister (third grade). I remember dusting and thinking, man, I must be bored (dusting is my lowest priority). On the upside, the house will be a little cleaner and I can get some exercise in. It'll take a week or two to get used to the new routine. Good luck!

It took me a long time to really get used to the new routine. I have one child --now going into second grade-- and sort of didn't know what to do with myself once he started kindergarten. (In retrospect, we signed him up for half days for K, which really had me hopping-- I had three hours in the morning to shop, get housework done, get dinner prepped, then go pick him up!)

I found that when I started volunteering at his school, this gave my week a sense of structure and I've continued that throughout his first grade year. Made friends with another mom volunteer who is also a SAHM, which was really wonderful support. Got to meet lots of neat parents as well.

My guess is that once your girl starts going, once you get your school schedule settled you will build your housework schedule around that and your children's needs. It's just getting these layers settled into place that will take some time, some trial and error.

Making the shift can be hard. Honestly, with the half-day kindergarten, it really took me into January of his first grade year to relax into being a SAHM. Likely, we have different reasons for this unsettled feeling. (I was working since I was 16, didn't know what to do with myself at 43 and not working at least even part time. I still sub at a preschool, but not the same.My work ethic/"support yourself" internal messages needed some tweaking to accept that this is okay for right now.) My hope is it won't take nearly so long for you, but my guess is that by the time you are all returning back to school from winter break, you'll feel you've made the transition.

Good luck and please! enjoy your classes! :)

I have 1 daughter and she will be 20 in Dec. A rising Sophomore in college.

Of course I was a little saddened when I first dropped her off for K. Back when she was in K, it was either 1/2 day morning or 1/2 day afternoon. She was in an afternoon class.

My sadness was largely reduced when I saw how excited she was to go into that room, set up her desk and be involved. She LOVED school and still does. She did well in preschool so I wasn't too worried about her being tearful. I saw many parents and children who were tearful and children clinging onto the parent. In my case, my daughter just looked at me and said "bye mom and gave me a kiss" because she was so excited.

My routine did change and I did a LOT of volunteering in the school, became active in the PTA and I ended up being asked by the principal to apply as a substitute because they were short of substitutes. The hours were perfect since I was at the same school with daughter. That was in 2000. I am still a regular sub at that school and will be because I love that school and the children so much.

My hubby was in sales at the time and on the road a lot. I was also his customer service rep because his customers always knew that I knew what mile marker or plane he would be on. They called me instead of calling the HQ in NY. The experience of learning his business helped greatly because about 6 yrs ago, we started our own business in the same industry and we are now running a very successful company.

You never know how things will turn out. I hope you manage your sadness by seeing how excited your daughter is to be in school. Good luck with your routine.. it will fall into place.

Let's see, my baby is almost twenty four. So, subtract his entrance into kindergarten at age five-hmm....nineteen years maybe? Wait a minute. I still haven't gotten over it. In my mind my boys were supposed to stay little forever. waaa

My youngest of 3 is about to start kindergarten too. Although I can't say the change will be as dramatic, because the older two kids are homeschooled.
But it is a little strange for me to be sending the littlest off to school 5 days a week. (But necessary, because the oldest has a health issue, and needs the extra attention so he can graduate from high school on time.)

I think though because you will be so busy with all the stuff that comes with having kids in school, and your own classes, that it will seem a bit surreal at times, but you be focused on everything else.

I think it's good that you are feeling out of sorts, that is human and means you love your kids. I can't understand these parents that say how happy they are to have their kids back in school. I enjoy having my kids around. God gave kids parents to raise them, not schools. It's hard to have kids in school all day! We are supposed to miss them! Thats a good thing!

But I think within a couple weeks, you will find by necessity you are getting used to a new routine :)

hell, i'm STILL blue when i think about my precious little guys, in their first-day-of-school clothes and their little backpacks full of supplies and cool lunchboxes!
:D
but i worked, so didn't get to indulge for long.
give yourself a few weeks for all of you to settle into the new routine. once YOUR class starts and you're busy again, and you've got a nice after-school groove going, it'll be awesome. you'll still feel a little blue at times, but it's a nice nostalgic sort of blue.
:) khairete
S.

I feel your pain!

My youngest 2 (twins) started their senior years in HS last week. I cannot fathom that this has happened.

I am trying to decide exactly what I want to be when I 'grow up'!

I will continue to sub teach...and my 'window treatment/alteration/craft' business is moving forward. I am also involved with costumes for our local regional theatre. This happened as a result of one of the twins being cast in their production of "The Wizard of Oz" this summer...

Things will happen as they should. "A plan WILL emerge..."

A plan always does. Sometimes just NOT in the way you expect it will!

Be flexible. Enjoy. Do not sweat the small stuff!!

Best

I felt the same way when my youngest went to kindergarten. I really thought I wanted another baby. Then she went and by day 2 I realized how great it was! I was able to fill my days easily. ( I had a hobby (mosaic art work) though that turned into my passion and now I actually make money from it)

I think you'll get over it pretty quickly as soon as you discover that you still see your daughter plenty, and you will have volunteer opportunities at her school.

Good that you are getting your certification now -- I wish I'd started on *me* sooner, and not focused on my kids so much. Now they are doing great, but I'm just starting on my career in my mid-fifties, still experiencing some empty-nest blues, and worrying about having enough money for retirement.

It goes fast, enjoy it. You've still got lots of time with your little one.

Change is tough because you have to grieve the loss of what was before embracing when you will have. It'll take a couple weeks to get your feet on the new schedule.

I loved being a stay at home mama and was so upset when I had to go back to work after 8 yrs. Like any other working mom I was certain my children would suffer because I wasn't there 24/7 for them but it worked out ok.

I am right there with you! I have been a stay at home mom for 8 years and now my DD (our last baby) starts pre-k tomorrow (where I live it's a full day 8-3) and I am feeling all the same things you are!..

I am also a full time student. I have 2 more semesters and I will have my degree so I know I will be busy but it will be a weird feeling to be at home by myself. I volunteer at my sons school 2x a week and will probably start doing 1 day at his school 1 day at hers.

I can already feel myself getting choked up and will probably have a small breakdown after the kiddos are in bed, lol. I still cry every time my son starts another year of school but when he started kinder, if I remember right, it took a couple weeks to get used to it. It will help with you being in school and volunteering tho! You will be busy and won't focus on it as much.

Maybe I will actually start using my gym membership now that I will have more free time:)
Good Luck!!

I felt the same way. It was a hard realization. I cried.
However, I tried to find new ways to keep me busy & take my mind off of
things.
I treated myself to something the first few days (a coffee at the local
coffee house, sushi takeout, a long walk by myself, went to the gym a
few mornings).
I volunteered in their classrooms. You should do this.
Can you meet up with a friend for coffee?
Go for a walk.
Grocery shop slowly. Really peruse the aisles.
Take a deep breath. Take care of yourself so you can be there for
your kids.

It's a pretty big life change so your feelings are only natural. You are taking all the healthy steps to move forward so just be patient with the process. Remember that there are tons of things to volunteer for in the elementary schools. That should keep you busy as well. Good luck Mama!

Just like everything else, something else will kick in to occupy your mind and you will not longer think about this. Before you know it, she will receiver her first project, reward, or report card. You will move on just fine.

I am in the same boat. I've been home for 9 years. My youngest is starting Kindergarten next week.

I have mixed feelings. I think I'll feel lost, but will also be glad for a break. He's only going mornings. I'll have 3 hours to work out, walk our newly adopted 8 month old chocolate lab, run errands and do housework.

The timing of getting the dog is good. He has tons of energy and will keep me very busy!

Good for you for your plans! It is very normal! Change is hard. Hugs to you. Try and plan something special with a friend for the first day of school, like mani-pedis and a massage or something. Good luck on school!

I am in college working on my degree too :-)

I was exactly the same way, and also a SAHM for 7+ years. To make it worse, I had multiple friends who were so thrilled about their kids going off to school all day. It does pass. Try to get yourself into a routine or do something for you in the morning. Organize your weeks if you can...grocery shop, clean, coffee with a friend, etc. I started reading during lunchtime. I found that to be the hardest time of day. Reading gave me something to do that I feel guilty doing when the kids are home and it helps with the deafening silence. I still have a bit of a hard time when the kids go back after summer break but I start making lists of the things I want to accomplish which gives me a sense of purpose and motivation. You're doing all the right things. It just takes time. Once your classes start, you will likely be wishing you had more time. haha

I don't remember how long the feeling actually lasted but it does eventually get easier. I'm dreading college!!! Ugh.

I am sure she'll do great!

I love watching the kids grow up and every milestone is a happy time! I cannot wait for them all to be in at least grade K.

Good Luck...that will be me next fall:(