Putting 4 Month Old to Sleep

My pediatrician wants me to put my 4 month old to sleep awake. I have a 3.5 year old who could go to sleep on his own when he was little. However, this little one simply will not go to sleep on his own. I have to nurse him. The cry it out method DOES NOT WORK with him. Usually, he does not get any nap in from 4 PM until 10 PM, because I do not have the time to nurse him to sleep. I am busy with the dinner/after dinner/bedtime routine with my 3 year old. He does get nursed, but I can't spend quiet time with him until he falls asleep. Consequently, he will often cry VERY LOUDLY from 4 PM to 10 PM NON-STOP unless I pick him up briefly (which means about 5-10 minutes), so we only get breaks in the loud crying when I pick him up. he doesn't ever fall asleep no matter how exhausted he may be from crying or from not napping. He is a stubborn little fellow. Because he sleeps in the same room as my 3 year old, letting him cry himself to sleep, also just keeps everyone up in the house, because he is SO loud and our house is pretty small. So, for now, I have to nurse him to sleep. On the rare occasion that he falls asleep on his own, he usually wakes up about five minutes later. I don't have any issue with it for now, but would love some strategies in the future on how to get him to sleep without nursing. My older boy took a pacifier when he was this age to go to sleep, but this baby refuses the pacifier totally. He is a mellow, sweet little baby, except once or twice a week when he does the 6-8 hour crying marathon.

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K.K. answers from San Francisco on June 29, 2008

Hi A..

I don't think I like your pediatrician's advice! It seems too inflexible and one-size-fits-all, and we know all kids are NOT the same. Maybe the important things are that everyone gets enough sleep and whatever routine the family chooses works for everyone. We are fortunate that our son's pediatrician believes parents usually know best and didn't try to impose arbitrary rules. I hope you listen to your own feelings about this and do what works for your baby, his brother and his parents.

Good luck.
K.

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R.D. answers from San Francisco on June 29, 2008

I put my baby to sleep between 7:30-8:30, most nights she goes to bed at 8:00 and sleeps through. I started this when she was 3 months and now at almost 6 months she knows that I when I put her down that it's bed time. She only wakes up to eat and then goes right back to sleep. Some nights she's tired and other nights she's energetic, but she still goes to sleep at the same time every night. If you son is staying awake it may be because he's teething. My daughter had some trouble staying asleep when her gums were bothering her.

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J.F. answers from San Francisco on June 29, 2008

Sounds like your little guy might be over-tired. Supposedly babies at this age should not be awake more than 2 hours at a time. I had the EXACT same issue and my daugher went to sleep between 10pm - midnight, which I found odd and frustrated. Once I followed Dr. Weissbluth's method, it did the trick after a week!

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N.K. answers from San Francisco on June 29, 2008

If you can stand it, you might want to try just wearing him in the Baby Bjorn or in a sling. It may not be as much the nursing that he wants as the wanting to be close to you. I know this is not ideal while trying to cook dinner and dealing with your other child but at least it might buy you some peace to get what you need to done.

Good luck,

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