Pregnancy Scare Turns My Hubby into a Cheater?

Updated on September 01, 2014
M.G. asks from Bostwick, FL
15 answers

2 months ago I had my fourth child, my husband was upset enough but now that I think I might be pregnant, I think he's cheating on me. Our computers Internet tends to crash and when he was leaving for work about an hour ago my computer said that it had unexpectedly crashed and asked if I want to restore my last session. I clicked yes and it was an online dating website. Do you think he might be cheating on me? It was logged out and all the history was deleted so I don't have any proof. What should I do?
Thanks, M.

Edit* he does know that I may be pregnant and we have never had marital problems, my children are in a happy safe family so don't feel bad for them.he is coming home at 6 tonight and I am going to confront him about it. Thanks for all your love and sopport.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Tell him to get a vasectomy and cut it out with the dating sites (and or messing around) or you'll rip his nads off.

6 moms found this helpful

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S.L.

answers from New York on

nothing you did turns a man into a cheater. he is either a responsible honorable man or a d**k. You either have a good marriage, or you dont. I cant tell from reading this.

8 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

We don't have a lot of info to go on here... Does he know you think you are pregnant again? It sounds like #4 was pushing it with him. Do you practice birth control?

If he does not want more children, he should get himself fixed or stop having sex.

Just because a site had been pulled up online does not confirm that he is a cheater. It does confirm a lack of trust on your part.

If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. There are many reasons they make that choice but I would not think he is cheating because he thinks you are pregnant. He is probably scared shi..less about financing ANOTHER unplanned pregnancy.

Are you planning these pregnancies without his knowledge? If so, he has every right to be angry with you. At the same time, he should keep his pants zipped.

I feel sorry for your children.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I get a lot of email notes from girls overseas who have big butts and are willing to give me some fun. I bet if my husband ever saw this he'd think I was cheating too. He doesn't bother though.I suggest you don't worry about it, tell your husband to learn how to keep his pants up a little more often and enjoy your children that you have. How would he have time for internet dating? He's got four children and it sounds like he spends plenty of time with you.And how do you have time to worry about all of this? Relax. You're fine.

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Well sure, if you keep having kids your husband doesn't want then he may start looking for someone else.
Of course if he keeps sticking it in you then he's going to have to pay the price.
Poor children :-(

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

So you claim to NOT be a troll - however - this post SCREAMS of troll...I'm sorry. I really am but if you have FOUR children - you KNOW how pregnancy happens, right?

You DO know you are supposed to wait 6 to 8 WEEKS before you have sex after birth of a baby, right?

So on the off-chance this is real?

* Review your family cell phone bills and call the numbers you don't recognize.
* Review your family credit cards and bank statements to find out where your husband is spending money.
* COMMUNICATE with your husband.

Is it possible that your hormones from your LAST child are STILL high and active which MIGHT be causing postpartum depression??? Have you HAD your check up since the baby was born??? If not - schedule it this week!!

IF he is cheating? It's NOT your fault. He is a grown 'man' (using that word loosely) who is in control of unzipping his pants and slipping his junk out....so if he tries to blame you? DO NOT allow it. Squash that bug REAL fast and remind him NO ONE forced him to do anything...HE asked YOU to marry him...he VOLUNTARILY had sex with you and made babies...no one forced him - there are things that can be used to stop pregnancy...

Confront him. Talk to him about it. Don't live a lie.

Also - it could be a fluke. If your computer has a virus on it? It will pull up random sites. Mine pulls up "ourtime" dating - never been to the site - my husband and I laugh over it...sh*t happens.

GO to the doctor. Get checked out. Get on the pill or use some form of birth control.

Good luck!

6 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I work online a lot and I can't tell you how many times I get the forbidden site message. I alternate between a mouse and pen in my right hand, sometimes I click on an ad when I grab the mouse.

So I would take that retrieved message as a warning. Keep an eye open and if he is cheating, another sign will come up. You can't tell by one website, unless it left you a message with "John" your session has been logged off. So you know what you saw and determine if you really believe he is cheating based on the message you saw.

Pregnancy cannot make a man cheat. You didn't do anything wrong. He knows what happens.

5 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

Ouch. Sorry about all those jerky answers. Some women actually have empathy....
Anyways, from personal experience I have found that many men do have affairs while a wife is pregnant. My theory was statistically proven in the book "Why Men Stay and Why Men Stray" (*excellent read btw).
Your husband as NO reason to clear the history on the computer every time he uses it. It does not slow down the computer, internet, or effect it's use.
Once a week a "cache" clearing is fine. But if the "drop down" on the URL bar is empty after ever use...... he is hiding something..... sorry :(
It would be like cleaning the toilet after every use, it's just not necessary to do that.......

5 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

Trust your gut instinct...

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

confront him and ask, see how he reacts.

2 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

I don't believe this post either. And Julie S is correct in what she's talking about regarding the computer.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Stop having unprotected sex. Reading your post was somewhat "painful." Just being honest. 2 months ago you had your 4th child and you are having unprotected sex? Talk about taking on a lot of extra stress on your relationship. I'm in NO way suggesting that a man should cheat for ANY reason, but come on.

I hope he's NOT cheating on you. And, why are you talking about your children being in a happy safe family? What does that have to do with him cheating on you? Just strange.

Make an appt to see a therapist. Talk to them and get some support. Sounds like there is more going on here for sure.

2 moms found this helpful
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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

There's ALWAYS the possibility of cheating... 50/50. I think many women on here are insecure about their marriage and tend to snap at posters because they don't want to think about the possibility. Be safe if you "confront" him.

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M.G.

answers from Phoenix on

All I can say is TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Do not rationalize all the reasons why he would not do it, but be true to yourself. Listen to the knowledge you have within and trust that inner voice. We don't know. You do. And if the signs continue to show up don't lie to yourself, you will drive yourself crazy and make yourself ill. Your kids need all of you, to be whole, happy and vital. Be true to you! Check out this free online event: http://www.amotherstimeoutglobalgathering.com/

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Who knows?
Doesn't look good though.

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