Potty Training Toddler While Nursing Baby and Going to School

Just so you know, our Pediatrician said most boys don't potty train until closer to 3.5 years. It isn't something you can rush really. It won't be successful until their bodies are ready for it. If they don't have the necessary control yet, they won't be able to learn how to go on the potty. I would suggest getting the book "Everybody Poops" and read it with him. Also, for your reading purposes I'd get the book "Potty Training in One Day." It has a section on assessing if your child is ready which is very helpful and informative. I can completely sympathize with your desire to proceed in order to get him into the childcare you are looking at, but this really isn't something you can rush along for your timeline purposes. If he isn't ready, he just isn't. You'll create more lasting issues for him if you try to push it before he's ready. Once he is ready, it will click and go very smoothly.

Best of luck to you!

Hi Lynne,
Gosh, what memories - I was in the same boat, my husband touring and crewing while I was chasing toddlers, pregnant/nursing and trying to keep my career on track from home. He had glamour and celebrities, I had spit-up and strained plums down my back... Ah, the good old days! tee hee ;-)

Listen, I don't miss the chaos, but in some ways they were the best days of my life. I had kids the same ages and had the added bonus of being pregnant again by the ages you're talking about. And I know what you mean about the kids missing Dad... it's agonizing from so many angles. Throw in 'potty training in autumn' and it's too much to attempt - especially on your own. I can't tell you how to do it now. I can only tell you from experience to wait, just till spring. Here's what I suggest.

Hot weather potty-training is a breeze, seriously. I tried to train a two of my kids in cool weather -- failed miserably. Spring came and they were each 90% trained within three months, no joke.

The 'naked/half-naked kid' approach worked so fast and so easily for me, with each of my four kids. No diaper = no options & even if your son's peeing on a tree now and then, he's getting the idea to pee with control. That's a good thing. (Honest!) But overall, I think you'll be happy to see how often he uses the toilet or potty chair. Here are strategies that worked for me, while I wrestled with doing it alone:

Use games to entice him to use the regular toilet (see below). Carry a potty chair from room to room the rest of the time. TV shows, handheld games and lollipops all work well for keeping him happy while sitting on the potty chair every hour. (Yes, lollipops are sugar, but moms with only half as many arms as duties need to make concessions. And that's why we have toothbrushes! Lollipops last so long that you're bound to get a little pee-in-the-potty out of it, so it's worth the sacrifice.) Make sure he knows that the idea is to get a little pee in the potty and you're guaranteed results within a few days.

For the real toilet, play games. Target practice: Boys love to pee on things. So make targets! Make ice cubes with food coloring, three different colors. Every time you can take him to the 'big potty', plop a couple of ice cubes in the toilet and let him aim his pee at them. Give points: 5 points for melting the red one, 10 points for melting the green one. If you have ice-cube trays that make shapes, use those too. Toilet-paper shapes do well for sinkability - sink a ship, a shark, etc. Go all out, make a score sheet that hangs on the wall (my son LOVED that) and let him earn prizes. (It works with poo, too, but he has to 'sink' the T.P. ship... 'nuff said. One daughter actually liked to score the "plop" sound - gross, but hey, it worked.) Target practice was my best friend while potty training.

When you do start again, relax. Take a deep breath and go 15, 20 minutes at a time if you have to. Don't let yourself think about how overwhelmed you are, what's ahead or what just happened. Being "present" is your best bet while doing all this solo.

The good news is, you WILL get through, you WILL succeed and when your kids have all turned 5 you will look back on these days as the tempering of your spirit, the forge on which all your future indomitability was created. And believe me, YOU WILL BE INDOMITABLE. The sense of strength and self-reliance you'll get from this process will stay with you forever. I'm 200% better for it and you will be, too. It's no picnic, but it's one heck of a worthwhile adventure.

Meanwhile: Each day, jot down the funniest thing that happened with your kids. Keep your notes in a book or in a box, doesn't matter. It's 2 minutes carved from time you don't have, but make it happen. These notes will form your lifeline when you least expect needing one. Mine still make me laugh.

Best of luck! :-)

Please don't wait until he is 4 I started at a little over 2 /12 and it worked until we wnet on a long 2 week cruise vacation. But as soon as we got back we started again and he got it. so maybe you need to wait a couple of monthes and then try. I explained to my son the he was a BIG BOY and daipers were for the baby. hE TOTALLY GOT IT AND GAVE UP HIS DAIPERS FOR OTHER BABY"S. Take your time. Take a break and start again after the holidays.

Dear Lynne,
You've got a lot on your plate and I empathize with your need to have your son potty trained. Unfortunately, the grandparents maybe right on this one. Some children take well to potty training and being only two is no problem for them. However, you can usually tell that right away. I tried for at least two years to potty train my son and I did not have the distraction of a baby and my husband was around to help. I was told by fellow parents that some boys just don’t fall in line in this area until around four. I think my son and I would have done better to have put it off until it was his idea. I think my pressuring him made it take even longer, though at the time I didn’t think I was pressuring him. I finally found a video tape (my son was born in 1988) called once upon a potty that helped a lot. The whole thing was about kids going to the potty. They were at a birthday party with clowns and there was a lot of singing involved. Anyway, in order to watch TV he had to sit on the potty while he watched. Often by the end of the video we had success and I praised him and sang the potty song from the video. I don’t remember this time fondly, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I wish you the best of luck and have a plan B in mind incase you just can’t get him to adjust in time for preschool.

I wish I had a solution for you, but it sounds like you kind of answered your own question. The inconsistency of his schedule and lack of support on various sides, is making potty training hard.

My son is now 28 months, and is not potty trained. We attempted it a few months ago, but he isn't displaying the correct signs for interest in training. So, we wait. Most boys don't potty train until closer to 3 years old, and I'm content to wait it out. His preschool, has also agreed to help with that, even though they understand he isn't trained yet and they don't require it but recommend it... I just sat down, and talked with the owner and explained it to her and she said well, give it a go when he's ready and if he isn't there yet when he starts in July we'll help out.

Just stick to your routine, and ask the Grandparents to help out. But, don't stress yourself or your son out with this process.

Good luck

So, maybe try talking to your school.

not to be the negative Sally, but realistically, until and everyone that will be participating in the potty training are ready to be consistent, it wont happen. Consistency is the key. If he wants nothing to do with big kid underwear and is fighting it, then he is likely not ready himself, though this could be due to the lack of consistency so far. I would encourage you to try to get him to sit on the potty consistently at least once a day...say right before bath as he can be naked and hearing the water flow might help him go. Once he does go in the potty and is not affraid of it, and you are ready to be consistent (this is key!) then remove the diapers completely. Dress him in big-boy underwear, not pull-ups. When he wets himself and his clothes are wet, he will not like this , then take him to the potty and show him where to put his pee/poop. Consistently do this and a short while later he will "get it" and will go in the potty regularly. Pull-ups at night are necessary until they will wake themselves up to go or can hold it all night, but that should be the only time he wears a pull-up. A pull-up is still a diaper and they can go in it without making a mess so they are actually counter-productive to potty training.

I wish you the best of luck!