Potty Training Tips Needed Desperately!!!

I have two boys, 4 years apart. I began "training" my oldest when he was 18 months by having him sit on his big boy potty seat before bath time, giving him rewards, heaping praise (never scolding) and it took FOREVER to potty train him. He wasn't fully potty trained til 3 1/2, and even then, he had regular accidents through his first year of preschool. So with my second, I didn't do a darn thing until after he hit 3 years old and guess what? He started talking about going to the potty on his own. I bought him underwear, asked if he wanted to try the potty and not only was he trained in less than a weekend (no kidding), after about two weeks, he didn't want to have anything to do with the potty seat you put on top of the toilet. He also became able to stay dry through the night in about three weeks - enormously faster than my older son.

Based on my experience, I can tell you that it was unbelievably easier training my second than my first and frankly, I my second son had a healthier outlook on potty training than my first because there was no pressure. I highly recommend dealing with 2 in diapers for another year.

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In my estimation and experience, it is better to let the child decide when it is best to be completely off diapers. Don't push. My boys are 18 months apart. I had both of them in diapers at once. It was so much easier actually because the oldest saw that the youngest was in diapers and he was going to be the big brother and show his brother how to go potty. So....he potty trained to show his brother how to do it. My oldest was completely potty trained at 3 years and not an accident once (he is now almost 8). Never had to worry about wetting at night. Since he was the big brother, my youngest was completely potty trained at 2.5 give or take a month. He and his brother went to the potty together. They felt it was a brother thing I guess to get trained almost at the same time. The youngest never had an accident either. So, letting them go at their own pace worked well. I never stressed and I never once yelled that they didn't go potty when and where they were "supposed to." Because of that I think is why we had a painless transition to the potty.

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If I were you I would wait. If you haven't done any preliminary(sp?) potty training then you are going to end up getting frustrated, discouraged and so will she. Especially if you want her to be done by the time baby #2 comes. I would suggest keeping her in a diaper or pull-up (I think they are the same you can just pull the pull-ups down more readily). Then I would give her every opportunity to use the big potty (with one of those patted seats for kids that you place on top of the big one.) And a a training potty that is portable. I would place her on it before bath times and as many times as you can during a diaper change. So you take the soiled diaper off, place her on the potty(that's why I suggest the portable training potty so it could be near the changing table) and then put a new diaper on. Then when she starts telling you she has peed or pooped in her diaper and she can hop up into the air with both feet and can follow direction along with communicate to you what she needs she is ready. If she can hop in the are with both her feet at the same time she is physically able to control her bladder and BM's. Otherwise it will be an uphill climb that never seems to end. And then one day you will know that she is ready probably a little closer to her 3rd birthday. Then you have her pack the diapers away for the baby, you go buy her fabulous panties, you buy a lot of stickers and 8 small prizes that you know she'll love (my son's loved match box cars and girls loved the princess figurines-got them at target). So then you put her in panties and she will never get out of them. The first day and a half, two days will be messy and horrible but if she is truelly ready it should only take 4-5 days. Put her on the potty through out the day and praise her for sitting verbally. Then in timed intervals that you will increase through out the first two days you will ask her if her panties are dry, if they are she receives a sticker for it. I also had a sticker album that she could place them all in. Then when she does pee or poop in the potty you give her one of the prizes that you bought. Now upon starting the first day you will have to explain to her what the plan is and what is expected of her. Now you don't scold her for making a mess in her pants just remind her that she is to tell you when pee or poop has to come out ( I always ask "does pee or poop need to come out) because it goes into the toilet. Also after the first two days I ask maybe 10 times for the next few days if their panties are dry. It sort of naturally happens that you no longer have to ask them. Also if they refuse to sit on the potty I wouldn't push, because with every mistake there is an opportunity to teach. I don't put them in a diaper at night. I have experienced that the kid will hold it until nap or night time and then decide he can go then. So I just prepare myself to change the sheets a few times that first week. Kids could have accidents even after being toilet trained for awhile. I found that when they are over tired or going through a growth spurt is the most likely time they'd have an accident at night. Anyway there are pads that you can buy that hold up to 6 cups of water/urine that you can put over you mattress so it doesn't get ruined. I bought mine at bed, bath and beyond but I also know that right start or one of those kid catalogues has them. If you have and specific questions I'd be happy to answer them for you. Good luck. And congrates on baby #2.

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Hi C.,

I went through potty training hell with my daughter right around 2 1/2. Came here to ask for help and heard Moms tell me to chill out, it'll come in time and it's not up to me, it's up to her. Oh I got so ticked off I can't even tell you buttt.....as much as it pains me to say it....every single one of them were right. Now that my son is 1 year I've learned some valuable lessons about potty training which I'll share.

First, your timetable means absolutely nothing to her. She could care less about your agenda and from the outside looking in, I highly doubt you will be sucessful prior to the baby being born. You can begin now if you want but don't expect to be done or near done by the time your new one arrives. We tried everything for a year. Sticker charts, rewards, candy, outings, punishment, yelling, pleading, crying. You name it! Plain and simple she wasn't having it. Then she turned 3. Had her birthday party and saw all the other little girls using the potty. When I put her up on the baby changing station thing and then just calmly told her how she was just too big for this and look at all her friends who are using the potty and then maybe it was the next weekend I told her we had run out of diapers and that she just had to go on the potty and left her alone. Lo and behold she trained immediately and I can count on one hand how many accidents she had and that was in March.

She'll get it, start instilling the lessons now. Let her watch you, take her to buy some of her favorite character undies, keep it fun, praise, praise, praise and just accept the fact that it's unlikely it'll get done before baby #2 comes.

Good luck and congrats on your impending arrival!

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I agree she'll do it when she's ready - of course, you can help her be ready by talking about it, reading potty books, videos, letting her pick out underwear... Also, I found having a recently potty-trained child (and mine was well over 3 yrs) was more difficult than having one in diapers because they tell you about 5 seconds before they pee that they have to pee, and you may not be near a toilet (or you might be nursing a baby :)

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When I was expecting my second, my pediatrician advised me not to attempt any major changes (moving from crib to bed, potty training, etc) during the two months before and two months after the new baby's arrival. A new baby rocks a toddler's world so much, you want to limit other changes as much as possible to provide some stability. Also might be best for your sanity! Good luck!

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If I were you I would not stress out about getting this goal in before #2 arrives. My kids are 17 months apart and I did tandem diaper changing for quite some time. My daughter did not stop having accidents until she was almost 4, and my son, god bless him, just decided he was going to be potty trained a week and a half ago at 3 and 1/2. He was totally going in a diaper until then and refused to even try underwear. He would use the potty every once in a while. My advice to you is to go ahead and try but don't be surprised if your journey lasts more than 8 weeks. Who knows, you might be one of those lucky parents who's kids get it right away. Good luck!!

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My advice would be to take it way light until after the baby's born. Most children revert when the schedule change and general discontent of having a new baby comes. Start introducing it and have her sit on the potty when she wants to, and if she goes consistently, great! Just don't have high expectations for after the baby's born, she may lapse back.

My daughter is five months old and we literally just got my 3 year old son potty-trained this week...we'd been trying/introducing for almost a year.

Good luck!

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Hi C.-

I just had a baby in April and have a 2 yo myself. She turned 2 the week before the baby was born. She started training herself at 18 mos and by 2 was completely potty trained at her in-home daycare and had only occasional accidents at home. Then the baby was born and it all went out the window at home. She remains trained completely during the day at daycare but I swear she waits until she gets home and has accidents on purpose for us. She also has decided she wants to be changed on the changing table like the baby, wear diapers not pull-ups and refuses to go on the toilet for us (except the rare odd time and every other time is a kicking screaming battle). We've tried literally everything from sticker charts, to a timer set every 30 minutes to go, to praising her an obscene amount including clapping, jumping up and down and praising, to not bothering her to see if she'll do it on her own time. None of it has worked since the baby was born and I dedicated myself to it 100%.

I know all children are different but I would save yourself a lot of stress now by forcing the issue and wait until she's had some time to adjust to the new baby. Or just start slowly and work up to and expect there will be some backsliding when the baby comes. I had been warned about that and had read that it happens and it sure did. I find it more frustrating to know she can do it all day without me but has multiple accidents with us.

Good luck!
D.

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This is really perfect timing as it is summer. I trained my daughters in the summer so they could walk around the house and outside with a t-shirt and underpants so they could avoid staining shorts or pants, but still feel the discomfort of the pee when there was a mishap. When they feel that they know that they don't want it to happen again.
Encourage the idea of the big girl and big sister and how proud you are of her when she goes on the potty without soiling herself. Watch for outward signs that she may need to go, especially soon after eating and drinking. Signs may be grabbing at her private, a thoughtful look on her face, etc.
Make sure to get a mattress pad that has a vinyl bottom to collect accidents during the night. Don't use pull-ups except during the day when you HAVE to go someplace. These are truly a hinderance, especially at night. Limit the time away from the house on long trips for the first week or two (which really should be all it takes) and then make sure to ask if she needs to go prior to leaving anyplace especially if there is a long drive involved. Be sure to stop if she says she needs to go...
Also, if you don't see that she's making progress within a week or so let it go and try again later (in a month or two) some kids aren't ready and it's better to drop it than to cause undue pressure. My first wasn't ready and we just stopped and tried again later and it went really quickly when she was ready.
The worst thing you can do is stress out, 'coz she'll sense it and you'll get nowhere. Good luck!

Hi C.

I had the same situation. I would definately wait until after the baby arrives and your little girl adjusts to the situation. My daughter did much better once things settled down and she was trained in 3 days. Occasionally she has accidents, but not often. If you wait until she is ready, has interest and picks out her own undies, then it is a lot easier. I tried too hard at first and it backed fired on me. Just realize that she will probably pee on your carpet and have a few accidents at first. Good luck to you.

Jen

Hi C.! I used " Toilet Training in Less Than A Day"
by Dr. Nathan Azrin - IT REALLY WORKED! My daughter is pretty stubborn and set in her ways, so I was very scepticle. But I actually DID potty train her in 1 day! (Actually, it only took me about 6 hours). Get the book!! I have heard of kids regressing after they are potty trained once a sibling comes around, but you don't know for sure that that will happen with your daughter. Just get her trained and cross one bridge at a time :)

Good Luck!
E.

I agree with Kristy 100%. I don't think there is a way to get potty training done until THEY are ready. My son showed signs for a LONG time, but he wasn't ready at all. We'd ask, he'd say "No." Then, 4th of July weekend HE decided he wanted to go ont he potty. He's only had like 3 accidents since then. He was ready and it was easy.

Congrats on #2.

Hi C.,

Let me start by saying this is advise I've given before, so it is not new or rocket science. Potty training is all about scheduling and the pattern has to be set and kept by you so that your daughter will get it eventually. Training children is all about scheduling and being consistent.

You should put your daughter on the potty as soon as she wakes up in the morning, immediately after naps, immediately after eating each meal and/or after each major beverage intake. Elimination tends to take place in those timeframes for most of us. You may have to allow her to sit until something happens, but don't we all have times when that occurs for us??? Also, whenever you take her out, put her on the potty just before you leave and immediately upon returning.

Try these things and be patient with her. Consistency is crucial. She must understand, by the schedule you put her on that these are the times when elimination is most likely to happen. Work with her in distinguishing which type of elimination is which too. And help her to speak appropriately about them by talking to her about it when you are taking her to the potty. In time, she will get it.

Oh by the way, if you make some progress before your next little one is born, expect that she will regress some. It is quite normal in older siblings upon the birth of the new addition to the family.

Good Luck and Congrats in advance!

Hi,
sent me an email and I can reply and sent you a e-book I bought to get my 4 year old son (finally!) trained.
It's been 3 months and he goed bot 1 and 2 by himself!
Mirjam

Didn't read the other responses. I say she's ready. I trained my 18 mo boy pretty easily. Things to keep in mind: once you start, don't look back. Go nekkie (bare bottomed while at home 24/7 so she can learn what her body does). Don't use pullups. Have her clean up ALL misses (she won't do a great job but you can finish later or start, and have her finish it up). Let her pick out her undies. Don't stress (there will be good days and bad days. It's normal.) She will regress once the baby arrives - it's o.k., just keep going. Praise, praise, praise. Good luck!

C.,
Congrats on number two. If your daughter is ready then she is ready. When a new sib comes into the picture there will be regression it is one step forward two steps back sometimes. When I had my second my first was almost ready but still needed some more time so i had two in dipaers for about 3 months. Then when I had my third my second woke up one day to say she was a big girl and did not need diapers anymore she was potty trained about 8 weeks before number three was born.
So it is different for different kids. Good Luck!

There is 21 months between my daughter and son. She was trained right before he came with only a few accidents.

Hint: Get big girl panities and lose the "Pull ups"
She doesn't ever feel wet. To is a perfect age to have them trained by. You shouldn't have a problem. Let her pick out her special panties as well.

Sounds like your agenda, not hers. If she's angry or jealous because of a new sibling, that's developmentally appropriate. Frankly, it doesn't sound like you're cutting your daughter much slack.

You could try a potty boot camp approach if you must toilet train your daughter in two months. Maybe she's ready anyway. If you don't lighten up on her, however, it's going to be tense for everyone involved - and with another baby on the way, tension you don't need.

Since you are a SAHM, like me, it should only take 2 -3 days to get her trained. At least for mine at 18 mos. it was. I just tried to be really aware of what time she drank and started at 45 mins. late putting her on the potty. If she did not go right away, we would read a book or something to pass some time (around 5 mins). If nothing then we tried again in 15 mins. If she went in her diaper, then I knew I was right around the time if not well then we kept trying. Basically I was trying to figure out from time the drink entered her until she had to pee. When she did pee she got a sticker in her own sticker book (dollar store!) and we did a dance and sang a song about how she went pee pee on the potty. She got by the first day what I wanted her to do and by day 3 she was in big girl pants (let her pick them out) and soon she realized what the sensation was. Remember to try and be consistent (set timers if you need, I did) and reward and praise like crazy! There will be accidents and it is ok and remember that poop is a different ball game, but usually follows very soon. Now boys are a different story, my 2 yo son has no interest, but he will sit and pee once in a while. It really depends, but I will be able to take the time needed when his sister goes to school this fall. I will be with just him then and it is easier when you only have to think about potty training and nothing else. Yes everything else will be put on hold for those few days, but it is worth it!

As a mom of 4 children, I think you would be wasting your time trying to potty train now. Most kids want to be in diapers again when the baby comes along, in my experience they all seem to regress some around a new sibling. I would wait a few months after the baby comes and give it a try. Why stress yourself out when you need to be getting so many other things ready for the baby. Congrats on the new baby!!!

BEST money we ever spent -
www.bootycampmom.com
our daughter was trained in a day - wish i would have done it about 6 months earlier...
AWESOME amazing lady who owns it.

Our pediatrician told us not to push it. I have a 2 1/2 year old girl who's still in diapers & a 6wk old girl, so I know what you're feeling. But, a friend potty trained her then 3yr old last summer in a week by having her wear sundresses & nothing else. I believe she only had a few accidents. If you're desperate, you may want to try it. Good luck!

Hi C.
Congrats on your upcoming baby! I started potty training my little girl when she was 2 1/2. Here is one thing I learned RIGHT OFF THE BAT - no matter what method, with charts or stickers or little treats etc you use, if they are not ready, it will not work.
I did create a 'potty chart' with hello kitty decorations. I have this chart - if you want it emailed to you, I would be happy to do that - just send me a message here through the site.
Anyway, each time she went, we put a sticker in the chart. After 20 stickers, she got a goodie at the dollar store. She picked up the peeing thing right away and never had any problems with that. We had a little more issues with #2 and she just mastered that right around her 3rd birthday - June.
Just be patient - girls are supposed to be easier which is nice. I am not looking forward to training my 1 year old boy!! :) Have a good day.
M.

C.,

My daughter was about two and a half when my daughter was born. She was almost potty trained. When my second daughter was born she went back into diapers, she wanted nothing to do with going on the potty. She is now three and a half, and we are finally about trained. Something that helped us was having a prize basket that she would be able to pick out of when she went to the bathroom.

Maybe cutting short because sometimes toddlers regress when the new one arrives. But I have used and have known people to follow this book called Potty Training in a Day. Try your local library. If you follow the book it is supposed to work. I spent a week with my youngest (during spring break-I'm a teaacher) and had him trained. I do know people who have used that book and never had an accident. Good luck!

2 1/2 is pretty young to be fully potty trained. Starting at any time is great, but it doens't always mean they will take to it. I wouldn't rush yourself with the new baby coming, keep this time calm and relaxing for your family. Unless she is expressing interest in the potty, it can be very difficult and frustrating for the mom.

Might be a good idea to get started now. She may regress, but at least she will have the basics. I regret waiting. My son was 2 1/2 when my 2nd was born, he will be 3 in a couple months and, I have no time to work on potty training because the baby likes to be held all the time.

Just remember, it is better not to do it at all if you can't be consistent. It is much easier to be consistent now that you only have the one child.

We found that using a timer system worked well.
When I came home in the evenings, I would remind my son to drink his juice or choc milk – they worked better than regular milk. I was kind of pushing the liquids on him.
I then used my hubby’s watch which has a timer and set it for 10 minutes at a time.
Every time the timer went off, he had to run to the bathroom and try to pee – if it didn’t happen right away, he pulled up his pants and went back to business.
I only did this at night as I couldn’t ask my babysitter to keep up with it and it worked great.
Also – I bought him underwear a couple of sizes larger so he could pull them up/down easier.

Good Luck!

I'm a full time nanny and have potty trained with a fun chart and stickers.Kids usually get excited to add stickers to the chart after every time they go potty :)

it is not something that you can rush but if she is ready it won't take that long if you are consistent. the best advice i got was to give up the pull ups totally during the day. (this made us housebound for about one week) she will have a few accidents but after one or two my daughter didn't like being wet and learned to identify those feelings before she had to go and quickly went to the potty. we gave her a treat (one m&m) when she was successful. it was easier than i thought. best of luck!

I just potty trained my 2 and a half year old son. I did it two months after his little brother was born. I bought a little potty to bring outside and a potty from the Right Start that has a step stool and handles attached, so they can climb on and off themselves. The night before we got started we talked to him about throwing his diapers away and making in the potty. The next morning I got him naked and we spent the morning in the backyard with the potty. I rewarded him with a piece of candy eveytime he went. He had aleady been peeing on the potty,but he quickly figured out pooping on the potty. I cleared our schedule for the whole week and played at home close to the potty. He love the positive reinforcement. For nap time he wears underwear and for bed time he ears a pull up. Good Luck!!!!

Start responding to the 2 yr. old with comments like "what a big girl, mommy + and daddy are sooo proud of their big girl", etc. Get her own potty to sit next to yours. After she drinks, take her potty and you sit on your pottie and pee with her. Praise yourself and praise her as soon as she goes. A treat or small reward helps..it can be a graham cracker or playtime outside. Make sure you do grownup things with her and let her know continuously how proud you are. Girls catch on more quickly than boys.