***Just read your edit:
Also something to think about: a crying baby... CAN be real irritating, to the other sibling. They don't even have the emotional composure/maturity to just tune it out, like a Mom can. So... they will hit the end of their patience too... but they need understanding. You can tell him something like " I know, its not easy to hear baby cry...." (then hug him). When my daughter was that age, I had my baby boy. I would ALWAYS spend MORE time on her... and I would explain, simply and explicitly, that it is MOMMY'S "job" to take care of her baby brother... not her... AND that babies do cry.... but it is NOT her who is responsible AND I know it is not easy for her. Thereby, you "validate" the older child... and their feelings. I would spend a lot of time, talking about "feelings" with my eldest child and make sure I told her that she can tell me ANYTHING, happy OR "grumpy" feelings. Its okay... that I know its not easy for her either. BUT that we all love her and she is my FIRST "baby" and will always be. Doing things with the eldest is important one-on-one time.... BUT you also need to spend lots of time talking with them too... and "allowing" them to vent their feelings and just say things stream of thought. So that they know someone is "hearing" them... too. Its okay, a child will get 'jealous' sometimes. He is just not adapted to the other baby yet. And until now, it was HIS life.... not having to "share" Mommy and Daddy... AND, with a 2nd child... an eldest child's Mom & Dad "changes" too... they are not the same. So a child has to get used to that too, and how his parent's are not the same and are busier with the baby.
Teach him, that a baby cries... that is what they do, because they are 'hungry' and they don't know how to talk like him. Explain in simple terms age-appropriately, what a baby is and what they do. THAT is what I did with my daughter about her new baby brother. I would, each month, explain to her how her baby brother is changing and what he can and cannot do. I explained in simple ways so she could understand...and i let her "help" me... even just by hugging him or kissing him. I told her, this is how SHE teaches brother about "love" and about how SHE is the big sister etc.
If a child doesn't understand, what a baby is and what they do, they will get frustrated. Once I explained to my daughter about baby development, she REALLY got the big picture, and took things less personally.
"Jealousy" will take time to end or grow out of. Some kids though, will always harbor that. One of my siblings was that way... ALWAYS jealous of me since I was born. She even admitted it. But, in a normal kid, it is common because they are not used to having a sibling.
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So you have a new baby in the house?
Okay, so this is common... a kid 'regresses' at times like this. Remember HE had a new baby too. His whole life changed.
Next, just use a waterproof bed pad under him. Then clean up/changing sheets is much easier.
I have 4 of them that I use.
Next, keep in mind that "night time dryness" is NOT even attained until even 7 years old, and this is NORMAL and per Pediatricians.
It is BIOLOGICAL based. Not the child being irritating.
Next, a kid this age, does still need help going to the bathroom at night. Don't just expect him to do it by himself all the time. He is only 3.5 years old. Wet diapers at night, is normal.
Next, when I had my 2nd baby, my daughter who was that SAME age, regressed too. At home, at night and at preschool. She had accidents. NO biggie. "Regression" in a child, signals that they are having "stress" or they are UNABLE to cope with something....
scolding/disciplining will not help, but make it worse. They can't help it.
Accidents are normal and it WILL happen. It will. They are just so young. They will not be "perfect."
If a child thinks they HAVE TO BE "PERFECT" they will get an insurmountable amount of "stress" being put onto their tiny little shoulders. They cannot handle that... they do not have the maturity NOR the developmental ability, to cope with emotion based problems. Even some adults don't have that ability.
Don't put stress on him. Don't get upset if he is just laying there in his mess. "Regression" occurs when something is stressing a child... so try to use understanding... not negativity.
It will pass. But accidents may still occur.
Even Kindergarten kids have accidents. If that puts it in perspective for you. My daughter did, and so did the other kids in her class. EVEN the Teacher herself said it happens and is normal, and they are still young to have to be so "perfect."
My daughter is 7, and once in a blue moon, she will still have an accident at night, or sleep so deeply that she doesn't even know she had to use the bathroom. One time she even had a dream that she WAS on the toilet until she felt herself wet. We just laughed and we cleaned up (but it was easy because I use waterproof bed pads) and the she went back to bed.
My son, well he is 3.5 years old... and still is not 100% potty trained. Only recently was he "ready" for that. But he is still wet at night and at naps. He is still learning.
Anyway well sorry for rambling.
Just try talking with him... not making him feel bad, it WILL pass. It will.
When my daughter went through that when my 2nd child was born... she did that too. And it passed. We did NOTHING to "correct" her or discipline her. It was emotion based... and her trying to adjust to her new life with a baby around... it was stress.
