Accidents During the Night

A regression is typical.

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It sounds like she's sleeping very deeply. This happens in cycles with most children and all the time with others. I was beginning to think my son had a deep-sleep disorder, but he finally outgrew it.

Maybe she's growth spurting, or maybe she is carrying stress about the new baby that even she is not aware of. It's possible and happens all of the time, even to adults. People are always carrying around emotional burdens that they have no clue about. Any kind of stress like this could be making her sleep deeper during the night so she's less aware of the need to get up and go when she needs to.

My best piece of advice is to just let her wear pull-ups for now. Keep reassuring her that you don't blame her. Help her clean up if she needs it. Make sure you talk to her about how much you loved being pregnant with her and what a joy she was to you. Share your joy with her, make her a part of this pregnancy. I found that relating my second pregnancy back to my first helped my oldest to be on very easy mental terms about it. It was like letting my son know that his little brother wasn't going to drive thoughts of him out of my head and was in fact going to trigger more memories of him when HE was a baby. This seemed very comforting to him. Maybe it could help your daughter, even if she doesn't seem stressed about the new baby.

Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello, I would just put her in the nightime disposable pants for now. Waking to go to the bathroom is difficult for some children. I would not make a big deal out of it. That would only make the problem worse. Believe me, I had this problem when I was young. I was threatened every night with what would happen if I wet the bed. It only made things worse because then I would lay in bed worrying about it and by the time I fell asleep, I would completely relax and then guess what.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

The answer to this question depends on you...how much time do you want to spend washing bedding every day? I choose not to so we put overnight pull ups on the kids. Once in a while they throw a fit not wanting to but I know they can stay dry or have an accident any given night. I have waterproof mattress pads on both beds and sheet sets with a blanket in case they get chilly.

M., I'm adding mine to the "just use a pull-up" votes. My little sister had been out of diapers for 6 months when we moved overseas. Bam! insta-reversal. But my parents never scolded or fussed, they just noted she was having accidents and that maybe diapers would help. It took almost 9 months for her to get back to where she'd been at 2 1/2.

Children deal with change and underlying stress in many ways. A joyous pregnancy is also a big change for a little one.

Be patient and kind, and your daughter will work through this period as quickly as she can.
.

It is probably just a reaction to the stress of a new baby coming. My son was not potty trained at 2.5 but that was his age when he realized he was getting a sibling. He was excited about it but his behavior went downhill for a while and didn't improve until the baby was 6-9 months old. It is a huge adjustment for a little kid! I'd just put a nightime pull up on her and not make a big deal.

Hi. I would also stick to the pull ups at night for awhile. At the same time though you can do a positive behavior chart. I used this when my son was having accidents (mostly due to being lazy or waiting until the last minute). Make a big weekly chart. Your daughter get a sticker for every day she stays dry (even if you're using pull ups). After a certain number of stickers (may be 10 and they don't have to be in a row) she gets a treat or little present. I did this for about 2 months and it solved the problem.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

SAME thing happened to my daughter at three (she was potty trained at 2- during the day) and also regressed to pull-ups but after consulting countless people, doctors, friends, studies, I've learned that it's typical for children to have accidents at night especially if they are deep sleepers as my daughter is and to wake them or punish them is simply cruel. I wrote a posting recently about this since my daughter, now 6, is still in pull-ups at night despite being a precocious, talkative, independent girl in every way. So, I've learned it's NO BIG DEAL for them to be in pull-ups at night. I've talked to my friends with girls the same age and they ALL say that their daughters were in pull-ups until 6 or 7, some even 8 or 9! So, relax. She's young. Don't push it. She'll get our of pull-ups before she goes to college! : )

Have her wear pullups and if you notice that she is not peeing - then stop them. I consulted with a sleep expert and she told me to NOT wake them up to go to the bathroom. They either are bed-wetters or they aren't. I was stressed out about my son being able to hold his pee all night and after I talked to her, I put pullups on and didn't worry about the night. After a few months of pullups, I noticed he wasn't peeing so we are now in underwear! :) Also, no liquids a few hours before bedtime. If she really wants some, just give her very little before bedtime. As long as they are drinking throughout the day - they are fine. :) Good luck!

I don't love this method, but we wake our daughter right before we go to bed (around 11pm) to have her go potty. We carry her as needed, so she doesn't have to wake too much if she's really tired. It gets her through the night, but I'm not sure of the long term consequences!

No, she is not lazy, she is asleep. She may have normal weeks of being dry, and then a few nights of not being dry, and that may just be how her system is maturing. Pull ups are no big deal, use them and don't think another thing about it. For the most part, they will be dry in the morning. Just get her up, and follow your normal routine. Really, no big deal, unless you want to make it so...which won't help her anyway, she is asleep!

M.

Night time dryness and control, is something that is not even attained, fully, until 7 years old. Per Pediatricians.
A child, WILL have accidents. That is childhood.
It is normal. I had accidents to as a child.
ALL children do.

My daughter, was 5 years old, until she attained night time dryness. Until then, she was in night time diapers.
She is 7 now... and once in a blue moon, will have an accident. Still. We NEVER scold/punish/lecture her about it. It is INvoluntary.
She gets up, changes clothes, and back to bed. NO biggie.
I ALSO have waterproof bed pads (4 of them), and I have one under her every night... and just change them out if she has an accident.
Easy.

We do not make our girl feel bad/guilty about it. There is no reason for that. Once, she even had a dream that she WAS on the toilet... until she felt herself wet, and realized she'd had an accident. No biggie.

Your child is very young... to be absolutely dry every.single.night.all.the.time.

My son, is 3.5 years old... he still wears a diaper at night.
Its fine. He's dry sometimes and sometimes not. No biggie.
I do not have a "time-line" by which "I" expect him to be dry at night. I know, it is biological based... not him doing in on purpose.

ALSO, changes in their life, can affect them. When I was pregnant and had my 2nd child, my daughter had accidents day and night. It is a symptom of "stress" in a child. We NEVER held it against her.... just comforted her and did not make her feel 'weird' about it. She overcame it on her own... in her own time.

Your child is normal.
No need for trying to make her stop.
It makes no difference if the child is "completely" day potty trained or not. They are a child, this is how childhood is... they do have accidents. My Hubby had accidents too, even at 7 years old.

Put it this way to get some perspective: When my daughter was that age and 5 and 6 years old... I asked her Teachers about it and "accidents" and at night. THEY said, it is NORMAL as well. Kids at that age, do still have night accidents, or day accidents, and wear night time diapers. But the parents will not admit it. But they tell the Teacher. Even 1st graders have accidents. Our Pediatrician says the same thing.

Restricting drinks at night, waking them up to go pee... to me, is defeating.. and it is trying to control something, that occurs INvoluntarily... and that the child's bladder/brain connections/nerve development is not yet, fully completed yet in development.

Even if a child "can" hold it ALL darn night, because they did if before... it does NOT mean, they can do that every.single.night for their rest of their childhood. It is not perfect that way. They are a child. Every night is different. It is NOT a finite thing.

She is young. She is not lazy. She is reflecting her age. And development.

And by the way, a child will NOT get "confused" about using diapers at night but not at daytime. Both my kids NEVER had any type of "confusion" about that. Its no biggie.
And, pull-ups, at night, is pointless and useless. It leaks, is expensive and does NOT hold much. Not for night time. Night Time diapers, like Huggies, is so much better.

all the best,
Susan

hi M., Children at 3 pee at night for many reasons, and yes sometimes it is lazyness regarless if how well they do during the day. Sometimes they get chilled at night and pee. It's good though thatn you woke her up to go to the bathroom, however I don't think a parent should ever allow a child to refuse, to do what is being told or asked of them but that's a whole other topic. he may be scared to get up at night by herself, so make sure you have a night light in her room and one in the bathroom, my second son started being dry in the mornings at 17 months old, was potty trained by 19 months old, but started wetting the bed at 4 found he was afraid to get up in the new house where we had moved to. Be patient, but let her know she needs to get up and go and not pee in her bed. J.

I have heard that using homeopathic remedies help. Go to your local Whole Foods or if none in the area try VitaminShoppe.com and under homeopathic look up bed wetting. If it doesn't work then no harm as there is no side effects with homeopathy. Good luck!

It could just be a change in her body and ability to wake herself up. I would really not restrict liquids because that will not help her to wake up more easily but could dehydrate her. I always get thirsty at night, and so do my kids. It sounds like what you're doing otherwise is perfect--don't wake her up, don't make a big deal out of accidents, change her, change the bedding, and tuck her back in. I did a lot more snuggling at night with my older child when I was pregnant with our second, but he wasn't toilet trained then. She will grow out of it, but in the meantime since you need your rest, too, you might try double or triple folding a flannel sheet and having that under her and keep an extra set of pajamas out handy to make clean-up easier and calmer so you can both get back to sleep.