Potty Training Regression

It's probably something emotional that she's responding to since she didn't have problems before. Try this- tell her that, at least while you're at home, if she has to go poop or potty she has to pull down her pants and sit on the potty (make sure she has the tools to do this and can reach everything she needs to reach on her own). This will both empower her to take responsibility for herself and take some of the power struggle away from you. Then, if she has an accident, have her clean it up herself. I know moms have the hardest time with this because it can be messy, but it's important. Have her take off her panties herself, dump the poop in the toilet, put the panties and pants in the washer, and clean up any other involved messes (and wash her hands!). This should help her to take total control over the whole issue, which should cure it if it's a power struggle. Good luck!

Baby might be able to express this as an attention getter. My son used to do the same thing at that same age...only at dads. I told the man to take him to Mac Donalds, talk to him about how you want to spend a lot of time with him and for everytime he has a good day, no messy pants...they will make special plans. So, with follow through and a lot of understanding, the messy pants stopped in 2 months. thank God. there was some repair that needed to enter in and trust issues(Due to previous spanking) but now my son is 23 and doing fine:) Best wishes.

Hey P., if your daughter does not poop on herself at daycare, that tells you, she knows not to, In my daycare I am very firm about that, chances are so is your provider and that is why she only does it at home, because at home there's no coincequiences for it, every type of training takes discipline and reward, you are defenitly experiencing a power play, your daughter needs to know who is in charge and who isn't, I gaureente you that, that is astablised at her daycare. J.

Sounds like your daughter mastered potty training and is now back sliding a bit. Regression in potty training can be expected. That said, as you noted it is only happening at home and not at daycare, this could very likely be a response to something in the home. I would ask the following: do you have a new routine? new caregivers or new people in the home? Changes in the family? Changes in your relationship with her or your husband? You mentioned working part-time from home and looking to go back full-time. How do you work from home, meaning, how do you organize your day and how does that impact her? Do you work during her waking hours? How do you feel about going back to work full-time? Children are extremely intuitive and any tension you may be feeling about your upcoming transition could be felt by her, and/or she could be intuiting that her time with you will be changing - having less of you. Without knowing the particulars of your home, I suspect her regression is emotional and at her age, you can (if you haven't already) begin to help her express her emotions. You are correct in that discipline isn't helpful around potty training. Try to get to the bottom of the "why" for the regression and try positive reinforcement such as a reward calendar. There are several online where you can reward, for example, with a star on the reward calendar for every poop in the potty. Once you get to a certain amount of stars, you can reward her with a prize. The prize shouldn't be extravagent, maybe it's a "date" with you or a small toy or you fill in the blank with her help. Best of luck.
L. Montgomery
Family Coach

My youngest daughter went through this a few months ago. It was not pretty. We told her that we know she's just learning, and that accidents are okay, but if she feels the need to poop and doesn't want to use the potty, then she can ask for a diaper. The idea of going back to a diaper stopped the accidents. We also used a potty chart and gave her one sticker for pee, two for poo, and celebrated loudly every time she used the potty. When she got 10 stickers, she got to choose something to do ie park, favorite restaurant, things that would happen anyway because she'd get through ten in about 2 days. When she filled up the entire chart, we took her to Legoland. She knew that was the goal. I talked to her preschool teachers, and they said it was normal to regress - the thrill of being a big girl and the want to still be a baby. They suggested I have her help clean her underwear, but I just had her watch after she tried to grab the poo. Hopefully this is a short phase for your daughter. I know how awful it can be!