My daughter is seriously regressing in the potty training area. She has been fully potty trained for a full year now, and with in the last month she has started peeing all over her room. Three nights a week she is peeing her bed (temporarily solved the problem with a diaper), getting out of her bed during nap time and peeing on the floor, standing in front of the toilet and peeing, and I think you are getting the gist. So, I've been working really h*** o* this, and my attempts have been in vain it appears.
At night I have started not letting her have liquids an hour before bed time, and still having her go potty right before bed time. I have tried bribery (or positive reinforcement :P), punishment, taking away toys (I now have about 15 baby dolls above the fridge). It seems like you name it and I've tried it.
So, has anyone else been through this? What did you do? I should add that she is SASSY! I will ask her to do things and she says "No, I'm not going to do that" gets a timeout, and then has to do what I originally asked her, so she isn't getting away with anything.
We got into the pediatrician, not a UTI. He suggested jealousy, so I am going to work on spending more one on one time with her. Hopefully that helps :)
Sounds like sibling rivalry to me. Its very common. Now that Camden is requiring more one on one attention from you Reesie is having "control" issues for some added attention.
It's time for you to do "big girl" things with her that give her the hands on attention that she sees Camden getting while he has diaper changes.... she just wants some closeness to Mommy.
First thing I would do is take her for a physical checkup to make sure that she doesn't have a urinary tract infection or some other physical problem causing this. I also have to wonder what else is going on in your little one's life. Have there been any major changes or traumas in the family that might have affected her? Has she been put in a childcare situation or changed caregivers? The other difficult question to ask is whether there is any possibility that she has been sexually molested.
Since she has been potty trained for such a long time and this seems like a change in her normal patterns I would actually take her to the pediatrician to run a urine study to make sure she doesn't have a UTI. It occassionally happens without other symptoms except regression. I am a pediatric nurse and would suggest talking with her doctor about the sudden change. Good luck:)
I think she is trying to send you a message. Something is bothering or scaring her and she cannot cope with it verbally. You never know. It may be a movie she watched or a book she read or even any change in routines or in your house. Bottom line, this has nothing to do with muscle control but rather with emotional control. Try to comfort her and encourage her to talk to you about her feelings. But never punish her because this is her only means of venting her emotions that she knows at least. This is my modest opinion. Just keep saying it is ok and don'yt make a big deal out of it as hard as this may seem. She really needs reassurance and support. Good luck.
F.
Is she peeing through her undies? Or does she take them off? This may help you decide if it's behavioral or physical. sounds like she is only doing it during sleep? I wont try to pshyco-analize this, but maybe she wants to pee standing up for some reason. I might try to find that reason. Good luck with this messiness. :)
Hi K.,
I have another idea. Magnesium. Low cellular magnesium can cause, irritability and aggitation, it can cause bladder issues, and it also is responsible for the contraction of muscles.
I have a boy who peed his bed, almost nightly, between 4-8. One thing that I read about was that pasturized milk before sleeping causes peeing the bed. I have put that to the test, and indeed, milk before bed causes him to pee his bed! Milk has 8 parts calcium to 1 part magnesium. When too much calcium is consumed, it pulls magnesium out of the body parts in order to assimilate it. Magnesium counters calcium and plays an important role in nero/muscular contractions. Low magnesium affects mucosal tissue in bladder, lungs,throat, ears ,sinus and vagina.
Since only 1% of our bodily magnesium is found in the blood- a blood test will not truly detect a cellular magnesium deficit. Magnesium deficiency can easily occur- it is estimated 80% are deficienct and 20% have an intake less than half of the USDA, which may itself be low to begin with. I have read that magnesium deficient pregnant mums pass the deficit to their offspring. Ingesting SOY can affect magnesium levels. Soy is a leading additive in our food supply now.
urge incontinence is helped by magnesium.
Taking magnesium internally can be an issue because one, it can cause diarrhea, and two, some people don't absorb it too well in the gut. Transdermal magnesium solves these problems and is easy to administer. Everyday, put magnesium oil (found online)on the skin. Magnesium oil is simply magnesium chloride in water. You can also give epsom salt foot baths for a half hour. The other option is a drinkable product called Nature Calm, which is magnesium citrate in water. I have never used Natural Calm so I don't know if it causes the runs or not.
I have read that it takes 3-6 months to bring cellular magnesium levels up to optimum levels. You should most certainly see some progress before that though. I would think within a week or two.
Check with your doctor or do some research online as well.
http://www.bastyrcenter.org/content/view/792/
If you try it, let me know if it helps.
Gail
Hi K.,
Your daughter is saying something in this behavior, and it is not about peeing. She is telling you she is stressed about something, that she is checking and testing you. She is choosing a behavior that you really do not like, to find out if you really love her, despite the behavior.
It is hard to tell from a distance, but a simple guess can be that it is prince charming that evoke her insecurities. Jealousy does not appear when a new sibling arrives. It can come latter, when reality of the competition sinks in.
These are just some ideas and direction. One of the ways to help a child to get attention when a sibling is around is to establish "Special Time With Mom": even just 10 minutes when Mom can give her undivided attention do with the child what the child chooses. It is great to do it in the same time and place, so you both can look forward for this wonderful time together at times when you cannot give her such attention.
Wishing you the best
D. Orr
daliacoachesparents.com
Well from what you said the pee issue doesn't seem to be stressed caused. It may just her being a strong willed child showing her strength. Or she could have a medical condition or she could have a mis alighnment in her back. I have seen several documents that show children who's body parts are out of alighnment will pee the bed. It wouldn't hurt to have her checked out by a Chiropractor. A great one is in Roseville, Ca. His name is Dr. Gary C. Kelley. His daughter Shannon is in practice with him and she specializes in Children and women who are pregers whos babys are breach. She is amazing in that she has a very high sucess rate of getting the baby to turn with our any manipulation or hurtful pushing and proding on the belly.
At any rate is wouldn't hurt getting it checked out. Good luck!
Have her checked for a bladder infection. Have her checked for diabetes. My daughter who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes cant wait to go when her blood sugar is high, and gets angry, moody, mouthy, defiant, when it's low or high. The main signs of diabetes are extreme thirst, losing weight without trying and peeing way more often than usual. But the moodiness, and attitude can also be symptoms. Also there is a chance she's jealous of her baby brother. She sees you changing his diaper without complaining and you smile and coo at him, and she wants that attention too. Our son was nearly 6 when our daughter was born and as much as he accepted her and loved her, it took a year for the signs of sibling rivalry to kick in. So, even after a year, she may now be upset that he's taking your time and may just be trying to get your attention. Let's hope that's all it is. But do get her checked for diabetes.
Assuming there's nothing medically wrong with her, then it's probably competition with the new brother. Perhaps your daughter wants the "perks" that she sees her little brother getting. For example, lots of your positive attention goes to him, while she can't compete with him on the baby front w/o becoming a "baby" herself. With her current behavior, she gets lots of attention from you, even if it's not warm and loving and coddling, which is what she really wants, it's still attention.
You have to make her part of the team, showing her the perks of being the big sister. You have to be smarter than she is, rather than seeing it as something she's doing on purpose, you need to see this as a desperate attempt on her part to maintain her position of importance in the family. She could "help" you more and you could ask her her opinion about what clothes to put on the boy or when he needs a bath. Hope this helps!
Hi K.,
What a sticky wicket you are in! I would try taking your daughter to the doctor and make sure there isn't something going on like a UTI or something else. Our child care provider says that sometimes a child will take a stand on an issue like this because they feel like they have control (and actually, they do :) ) when a lot of other things in their life (like having a new little brother?) are out of their control. She suggested to me, to not make a battle over it... (if it wasn't necessary) and to just keep her in diapers and talk with her about it and when she was ready, she would let us know through actions and or words. Hope that helps, good luck!
J.
I agree that you should have her checked to be sure there isn't a medical problem. She did train quite early, tho, so she may just not have been as ready as she seemed to be and having a little, as you call it, regression. I would try to avoid the punishment or the reward type things and simply talk calmly with her about her 'accidents' (which do sound to me like 'on purpose accidents'). We all go through
some sort of stages of rebellion in our children, and sometimes we can identify a reason... other times we just get through them without a clue as to what causes them. It is possible that something regarding your son's age and what's going on with him may be making her jealous or feel like she needs more attention. Often a child will choose a negative rather than a positive way to get attention.
I noticed in your profile that you have a BA in child development. I have an AA, and often think "gee, why is it so difficult to figure these kids out? I'm supposed to know all this stuff after putting all that time and money into this education." It just proves there's no teacher quite as good as old fashioned experience.
Well, I don't really have any advice. I'm looking for the advice to follow, because my nearly 4 yo son is doing something similar. He was pretty much fully potty trained by his 3rd birthday. We rarely had any "accidents." However in the last month, OMG he has been pooping in his pants 3-4 days a week. He seems to be doing during nap time, when he is supposed to be napping. I guess for us there are a couple of things I think is happening. 1) I started working part time, so he's going to a sitter almost daily and 2) he doesn't want to nap anymore. Is there anything different in your lives?
