i am sure there are hundreds of answers on this topic, but i haven't the time to search through past reqests/responses, so please forgive me: i have 3-year old boy/girl twins and a 6-month old boy. The twins have been out of diapers during the daytime since last May. They have done remarkably well, but lately they will take turns (one day - he, another day - she) having wet-accidents in their pants. i think it's mostly an unwillingness to stop play to go potty. i have tried reminding/requesting potty time every 30-minutes/hour, i have tried potty watches so they could be in control, but they only play with the music constantly resetting the watch - so that's moot, and i've tried leaving it up to them to tell me when to go. i'm at a loss. i don't want to punish for wet pants, but i feel i need to do something to encourage dry pants as they don't seem to care if their pants are wet or not. help? i need suggestions as to what i can do/say to make them want to keep dry all day. i have tried the reward route, perhaps i should revisit that? i used to give tic tacs for potty time and it worked well, but i SO wanted to get away from the constant rewards for expected behavior, you know? i wanted them to simply see that this was the way we were supposed to behave without expecting treats for said behavior. maybe i'm jumping the gun on what to expect with relation to their age? i appreciate any of you taking the time to communicate with me on this. thank you in advance.
Hi, What they are doing sounds totally normal they are just getting too into playing.
At this age I would reward them with TV time at the end of the day if they at least made it to the bathroom everytime they needed to go pee. And if they peed their pants at the park etc., we had to leave.
Hang in there, it gets easier.
Rochelle
I'm feeling for ya! My oldest didn't even start potty training till 3 1/2. Here's a thought for you. Kids seem to respond well to short term rewards. So use lunch dinner and bedtimes as mile stones. IF they can make it to lunch time with dry pants and no accidents--oh boy--you will get 5 M&Ms (or some small,and cheep,and kind of special treat that is easy for you to obtain and have on hand) same thing for lunch then at bedtime the treat might be something like a special sticker. Maybe start a special bedtime board or a book just for this. When you fill up the board or book you can get a special treat out of a "treat bag"(from the dollar store ) Remember, they are only 3. A really cool ink bad and stamp is cool, or a temporary tatoo, or play sunglasses, a small book!
Another thought for the M&Ms (if you didn't like that idea)would be to just find something that would motavate them, perhaps they don't react to the thought of candy or chocolate, find anything they like that you don't give them regularly, maybe a small scoop of ice cream with "silly cream" (whip cream) just something that is tangable and cheep.
I agree w/ Kristi L, also, try turning on the water while you are sitting there with them. Remember, you are the Mom incharge. You, come in and say ok, let's go take a potty break every 30-1 hour.
Good Luck!
S.,
all i can say is keep being constant, it will take time, I too am potty training, I have to keep on mine every hour to go to the potty, I put underwear on them and a pullup over top so I'm not constantly washing clothes, Rewards is what I'm doing now because it seems to be the only thing to work. My child will get it only if he goes to the bathroom on his own and if he is dry all day long.
Hope that helps any.
D.
Every single thing that you mentioned that you have tried involved only the kids being responsible for themselves. Have you tried taking them potty YOURSELF? No requesting, reminding or setting timers for them to do it themselves, YOU TAKE them to the bathroom, pull down their pants and sit them down. Its really common for kids to be too busy to stop playing and go potty. Show them how little time it takes and let them know they can return to their activity that it wont go away while they potty. I think that your physical presence and hands on intervention will work.
I certainly understand the problem with constant rewards! We are working through that with chores. She only gets rewarded (allowance) for being a "good citizen" of school and home (attitude, helpfulness, motivation, etc). I used a similar method with potty training. She was late to potty train (3.5 yo) and it took awhile for the BM to get consistent...not that she would have accidents but she would get so constipated that when she finally had to go it was an all day affair of running to the bathroom with false alarms and stained undies. Throughout potty training, she was very headstrong and would refuse to go to the bathroom if it was my idea. Potty training was further complicated because she never cared if she was in wet or soiled clothes. I started punishing her for not listening to me and her timeout was on the potty. Not sure if this was a stroke of genius or a harmful idea but we didn't have to do it too often and it got the point across that she had to listen to mommy. I think there comes a point in the process when a child is old enough and firmly established with potty training that punishment for an accident (assuming they really could have prevented it!) is ok. I like the other ideas for the tv time or something like that. Those tactics didn't work for us because my girl would just tell herself she didn't want them. Good luck. Just think, you get to do it again with your little one! I consoled myself by remembering everyone gets potty trained eventually.
Do you make them change their clothes themselves? When my son has accidents like that I just have him go into the bathroom and change his clothes while I watch. He actually just started potty training a month ago so I don't know that it will work when he regresses, but I do know that it's common to have a bit of regression. I'm not opposed to a bigger reward for x amount of days dry either. Maybe if you got a calendar and told them that after 7 days dry they can get a toy at the dollar store and extend the number of days until they're back on track.
I'm not sure if you'll think this is a punishment, but I would call it a natural consequence - If you think they are doing this because they don't want to stop playing then I would tell them when they have an accident they are no longer allowed to play (whatever it was they were doing). Let them know ahead of time that you need them to stay dry or let you know when they have to go potty otherwise they will not be able to play anymore. Depending on situation, I would have the child with the accident sit on the sidelines while the other child is playing to reinforce this. Just a thought!
I have a 3yr old boy and I'm experiencing the same. I really am at a loss as to what to do. I have 2 other boys and successfully potty trained them and had no problems. I have tried 1)rewards 2)taking away TV 3)taking away toys. Nothing works he can find all kinds of ways to entertain himself.... I've resorted to sending him to potty every hour and asking frequently "are you wet?" I'm sorry I'm no help but I empathize.
K.
S.
I have three kids 6, 4, and 2. I am on my third go around with potty training. Since your kids are basically potty trained I would recommend trying something a little different. I would tell them that if they stay dry for x amount of days than they will get to do something special. Like a trip to Chuck E. Cheese or something that they really like but you don't do very often. Start out small with just a couple of days and add more as they do better. Mark the dry days on the calendar at the end of the day. Tell them what a good job they did and how soon they will have earned their special something. When they don't make it tell them you are sorry but that tomorrow is another day and they can start all over and try again. Starting out I didn't make it be consecutive days but once they get the hang of it and start doing better then I would change that to consecutive days.
Well good luck and I hope this helps.
M.
You need to figure out each kids currency and try that to motivate them to make it. But what I see.. is simply two kids that are showing you that they want YOUR attention. You have a new baby in the house and I am SURE he takes up your time. I bet if you would simply set aside time (specific special time to do what they want to do with YOU) for the twins when the baby is napping.. you will see them "remember" to make it to the potty.
good luck
I have a 3 year old boy who had a relapse when we moved. We went back to the reward system, we used a sticker page. (everytime he went potty he earned a sticker to put up and two for pooping). It worked just as well as the first time. He is back to normal now without stickers, everytime we have a rough couple of days though we use stickers. It seems to help get him back on track. I continue to give them to him until he forgets to ask me for them.
I should also note, I think this is hard for this age group because they are so involved with what they are doing at the moment they don't want to go to the potty. I battle my son often when it comes to actually going. He sometimes goes on his own but I still have to make him go every few hours if he doesn't stop to go. What helps eliminate the battle is telling him something like, "you can play cars for 2 more min and then it's time for a potty break" or "after your snack you need to go potty". If I give him a warning ahead of time he does much better and we don't have the fit over having to go.
When he had his 3 year check up I asked the pediatrician about the fact that he only goes if I remind him most of the time and she said it is perfectly normal for him at this age and that in time he will grow out of the need for being reminded to go.
Good Luck!
my daughter is doing the same things but it's getting better. when i do have to remind her to go it is not optional she has to at least try. i remind her it is because i don't wet pants like yesterday. i don't reward dry pants, as you said it is expected. i don't punish either but we do talk about why we should go before it gets too late and how mommy goes before starting a project or leaving the house, etc... it gets better.
It is so easy to forget everything when you're having fun at any age. My son's daycare had a thing where they would have regular potty breaks (every hour) with the potty training aged kids, whether they needed to go or not, they still had to try. It wasn't optional. Everyone would go at the same time, so no one was left out. Before/after naps, snacks, meals, playing on the playground, etc. They would also encourage kids to tell someone when they thought they had to go (between break times), so they would learn to get help with enough lead time to avoid a mess - a vital skill on long car trips and the next rest stop is 60 miles away and a tricky one to learn. It sounds like you leave it up to them when they want to try. I don't think they are quite ready for that choice yet. Get a kitchen timer, set it for an hour, put it somewhere high where no one can play with it. When it goes off, you take them on a potty break - no arguments, they still have to try. There was a time when I knew where every public bathroom was in the mall, in every super market, hardware store, restaurant, movie theater, you name it. Frequent potty breaks did not keep us in the house, and the family bathrooms they have in some places now are ideal. Pull ups are always an option, but you still want to try to keep them dry.
I think that is pretty common for kids that age. I have a 3 yo daughter who was doing the same thing or should we tinkle just enough to get her panties wet. It usually is Luz they r so busy they don't want ti stop what they r doing. She usually does it when she is on the computer so once I find out she did I kicke her off for the rest of the day. I also give her the big girl speech
