Need Potty Training Advice-27 Month Old Son

sounds to me like you are doing a good job I have potty trained three children, one was easy the other took work, the two did pee when they had undies on, but I just kept with it anyways, even going to public in cloths and undies, I would bring changes of cloths and explain that we have to stop and change and reminded them to go on the potty so we did not have to stop playing to change. which after awhile got annoying to them. but I just excepted it and went with it. it never happens over night and I did this for awhile until it clicked. I got the undies that have more cloth tio them for training I also would use cloth diaper which were a help in the begigning of going out in undies to help minimize leaks

all I can offer is support...it will happen...sometimes it seems like forever, but as they say, there aren't many 5 year olds in diapers :)

I was struggling with that just last year. I trained both my 4 and 2 yr old at the same time. A few things worked for us. First, I started giving my sons LOTS of control, since potty training is a control thing. They want it, they got it. Do you want to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt? Do you want to put on your underwear first or your shirt? Do you want orange juice or apple juice? Do you want to wear your jacket or just bring it with us? So even though this takes some time and effort on our part as they decide . . . you are filling up "their tank" by giving them choices all day long. When leaving the park/playground . . . say "do you want to leave right now or in 5 minutes"? Then give them the 4 minutes left, 2 minutes left, 1 minute left countdown and "time to go". If they argue, say "it was your choice to leave in 5 minutes, now lets go". So even though you cannot draw a direct connection between this and potty training, you won't believe the difference in the kids attitudes when they get some control, potty training is no longer such a control thing.

We set the kitchen timer (I actually have a small digital one that I can clip on my pocket and I can hear it where ever I am in the house. This is more to remind me (as I get side tracked and don't realize how quickly 30 minutes (or whatever period of time) goes by. Then I would not ask or demand . . . instead, I just say "Do big boys go pee-pee in their pants? Nnnnoooo. So if you need to go pee-pee, where do you go? That's right, in the potty. You are a big boy now, so if you need to go you just get up and run fast, fast, fast!" This is the only time running is allowed in the house - they love it. This is a reminder, even though you are not saying "go to the potty". You are mentioning it so they have to stop playing and focus on what you are saying. You are also inviting them to "show you" they can be a big boy and most kids love to impress us with their skills.

Since kids often like to play “teacher” I also set up a potty chart for myself. During the day I would often get their attention by saying “Mommy needs to go potty, do I go in my pants?” When they say “NNNNOOO” I would reply with, “Well then where should I go?” When they said “in the potty” I would ask them to show me where and what do I do when I am standing next to the potty (like pulling down pants, standing on step stool and sitting down). This got them really involved in the idea that potty doesn’t just come out, you get a warning feeling that should prompt them to do certain things (run, pants, sit, potty, pants, wash, reward). When I was done with the potty I would announce what a good girl I was and that I should get a sticker on my chart (and/or reward). Set the example and let them play teacher. This also prompts them to “go try” so they can get a sticker/reward too!

Don't get complacent with your praise. Sometimes instead of praising them (and stickers or other prizes) I would run around the house like a raving lunatic that just won the lottery and the boys would just die laughing at me and loved to go potty to get that reaction from me. Be enthusiastic and be consistent.

Having trained 3 children myself, 1 being a boy, I know exactly what you are going through. I can say that my boy took the longest to train and he has even gone through a couple of bed wetting phases at the ages of 6 and 7 (he is now 8 about to be 9 in June). My sister just finished trained her son and he turned 3 in September. I know she started training him early last year (so it took her almost a year to completely train him). I don't know if its a "boy" thing or what. My girls never wet the bed and didn't take long to train, especially my youngest. I can honestly say that she took 2 weeks tops to train - on the #1 and the #2.
All I can say is don't give up. It seems as though you are doing a great job and it looks as though you are doing everything you need to do.

Sounds like my son. My son is 32 months and is totally potty trained, day and night. He still wears pull-ups as "underpants" because I can't find underpants small enough to fit him but that's okay. A package of pull-ups lasts me about 2 months. As he keeps them dry, I let him wear them until they basically fall apart. Again, that is fine for me. When I initiated potty training, he was 22 months old. I trained him the way I trained my two daughters: run around naked ALL day. It sounds like you are doing everything right, just as I did. When I felt that he was totally potty trained (going by himself or telling me he had to go) I felt comfortable putting clothes on him but soon discovered that he was quite comfortable peeing in his pants instead. So, I went back to him being naked and would continue to reward him for going. Again, I introduced the clothing but I made sure to continue reminding him to go potty in the toilet or to let me know and I would reward him for keeping his clothes dry. I don't see anything else you can try. You are already doing what I would recommend. I WOULD continue, however, making him go naked. Introduce the pull-ups (or underwear) and remind him that his clothes must stay dry. I would take him to the bathroom every hour or so when he is dressed so that he understands that his clothes are not to be substitued for the toilet. Babies are smarter and more intuitive than you think. It is clicking with him but he's "forgetting" to go (being lazy, basically) and instead wetting his pants. He will get it and it will happen sooner than you think. Good luck and great job!

Hi, L.. Well, you're right. He does seem to know what to do and when to do it, but everyone has accidents some of the time.

On the other hand, sometimes very young children don't have the same ideas about cleanliness that adults do, and sometimes he just doesn't care that he made something icky on himself. He might just feel that at those times, he's just too busy to stop and run off to the potty. It's worth it to him to not have to take time out from his playing. That's just how a very small child thinks sometimes. You will have to monitor him a little more closely if this is his reason for messing up his pants.

He also might be getting a kind of reward for doing it. It sounds like he does it at times when he's not getting attention from you, and so he may be doing this in order to get negative attention, which is often more intense and longer-lasting than positive attention. He might have a guilty conscience for something else, and knowing that he will get a scolding for this might take away his guilty feeling for some other minor thing that he did -- without having to admit that he did something else wrong.

I would try making sure that he gets more attention when he's behaving well than when he's just soiled his pants. It's also possible that the times when he's fully dressed and still messing his pants, that he doesn't want to be in that situation and messing the pants gets him out of it. He might also be jealous of his younger brother, and having Mom clean him up gives him back some of that "baby comfort" feeling again, having you washing him off and changing him, proving that he can still get that kind of attention.

There could be a million reasons for him to mess his pants. My thinking is that if you take away any possible reward for him to misbehave in this way, he will eventually stop doing it because it doesn't get him what he wants. Mostly, what kids want is attention, and if he's doing it to get attention, a great way to get rid of the behavior is to just flood him with attention in other ways, positive ways, so that he will be more fulfilled and not need to get attention in a bad way.

I hope this is helpful and that his pants stay dry forever!

Peace,
Syl

Sounds like you and your son have accomplished ALOT for him still being so young! Congratulations! I'm no potty training expert, but I think that 27 months, especially for a boy, is still pretty young to be expected to be fully potty trained. I read once, that starting potty training before the age of 27 months, only increases the length of potty training. Maybe as your son matures, and gets closer to 36 months, he will become more consistent. I don't know any other methods, other than what you are aleady doing, to speed things up. Praise/reward him when he does go and I think he'll become more consistent on his own. Frustrating for you, I know...but this time will pass so quickly!

I potty trained my son at 21 months (he is almost 24 months now). I used the methods in the book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" (it took 3 days of training followed by a week of close observation). What worked for us was required my son to clean up his 'accidents'. When he doesn't tell us that he needs to go and wets himself I bring him a towel rag and tell him that he must clean up the pee-pee. I tell him mommy doesn't like to clean up pee-pee so I put my pee-pee in the potty because that's what big boys and girls do. I require him to help wipe the mess up and then require him to take off his 'wet pants' and 'wet underwear'. He then is required to carry the towel, wet pants, and wet underwear to the clothes hamper. We then wash his hands and put dry clothing on and I tell him to keep his pants nice and dry like a big boy. Then I clean and sanitize the area where he had the accident and put the clothing in the wash. I always give him lots of positive encouragement and praise when he keeps his pants dry and uses the potty. I hope this info is helpful to you. Good luck!

Hi Mama, I understand your frustration. I just potty trained my son. We started at 25 months and he was completely trained by 27 months. The first 3-4 weeks I cried thinking it was never gonna happen.l Same exact situation as yours.
I will tell you what I did. Have him sit instead of stand. Kids can be lazy and it is confusing when you sit to poop and stand to pee (just have him hold his weewee down so he doesn't spray)Second advice- only underwear no training pants so that he is wet and uncomfortable if he pees himself. Make it so he is uncomfortable. If he wets himself don't wipe him nicely with wipes, make him be showered off like an adult (water alittle cold). My son now hates to be wet or have poopy. So he avoids wetting himself and loves to see his peepee and poopy in the potty.
Best of luck!
C.

Is there any chance that there is a pattern that you haven't picked up on? In particular, I am wondering if he is getting involved in some activity and puts off going (or chooses) to continue the more fun activity rather than stopping to go use the potty. They live pretty much in the here and now. And if they are very busy in an activity, they can be very unwilling to stop to go to the bathroom. Could this be the case with your son? Maybe if you watch for those moments, and call out to him "time for a potty break".. and reassure him that his activity will still be waiting for him when he is done. This was a hurdle for my little boy. You can also be proactive. When he is about to go outside to play, make it a sort of rule/habit to try using the potty first. That's what I did. Eventually, he will figure out that if he puts it off too long, he has to stop for even LONGER to get cleaned up.

oh, one other idea. If he is wearing shorts/pants that are not all elastic waisted, that might be something to try. All elastic is easier and quicker for them to manage on their own. He might be more willing to stop an activity if he feels like he can accomplish the potty trip with relative ease and quickness.. rather than having to "deal" with snaps and zippers.
Good luck, and hang in there.

Sorry, just thought of one more thing. If you awarded stickers when he used the potty at your request, then you need to change up the reason for the reward. In that scenario, he is being rewarded for obeying you. Only award stickers (or piece of candy or whatever) when HE decides to go to the potty on his own and has a success. Get HIM looking for a reason to go potty.

Is he able to get his pants off by himself? I had the same kind of problem with my 2 year old daughter. Once she learned to get her pants off by herself and go by herself we realy turned the corner. She would go by herself and not even tell me! She is now 31 months and rarely has an accident during the day. Good luck!

i had 3 sons........they were all over 3 yrs old when they
were finally trained...........the more you keep on it the more stress it causes...........trust me He will decide when he wants to
stop going in his pants..

Oh, my heart goes out to you as I am in the same situation. AND MY SON IS 3 1/2. I tried him at 3 and it didn't work. So recently tried it again. Still not PT trained after 3-4 weeks. So we'll just keep on trying. All the best to you.

Most boys are not ready for potty training until closer to 3 yrs old, give him time and patience and when he's ready he'll go on the potty every time... I'm a sahm mom of 2 boys ages, 6 & 3. My oldest potty trained in a weeks time at 33 months, never had an accident. My youngest is 34 months and he's being stubborn, so I read his clues daily and we work on it on the days he's willing.

I would not put him in pull-ups at all. Get a plastic mattress cover and let him see how it feels to to be wet. Also when ever you go to bed get him up and make him go to the bathroom, you need to help him get up go. I remember the first time I heard my oldest son (10 now) get up and go by himself, I woke my husband up to tell him the great news!! Also remember all kids are different keep it up and he will get this. Good luck!!

is he 'just' peeing on himself? if it's 'just' pee then i would TELL him MANY TIMES during the day to go pee. I would not ASK.
my son was like this. I STILL have to tell him sometimes to go and he's 5.5!
but I MUCH rather it be pee than poop!
Thank GOODNESS once he figured out how to poop in the toilet he did not have accidents in his pants!

I'm preety sure you will get a lot of responses on this one. My son is 27 months too and he goes to day care. I was told by his teacher that it could take up to a year for them to be fully trained. However, how about instead of you waiting for him to tell you. You need to be consistant and every two hours take him. Even if he doesn't actually do anything but it will help him get in the routine of stopping what he is doing and go. Remember that at that age is difficult to keep a full memory expand.

Good Luck

Okay so mine is now potty trained finally durring hte day. She took four yrs. I started a award thing, every hour on the hour we'd run to the potty and do her thing. Then she'd get a sticker. (after 100 stickers on a poster board with the picture of the prize at the bottom, she gets the reward. She's on 130 now and doing it on her own.) I think if they see the end in sight it goes better. Mine wasn't ready at 2 or 3. So this may be the case. Just don't give in on the diapers. The naked thing didn't work for her, and the candy thing got out of hand. If we are out then I suggest to her to use the potty while we are out and she gets a special sticker for it to show. Now we have to conquer the night time ones and we are good. Good luck, hope this was helpful! Jen

Believe it or not, he is almost there. You will get these accidents once in a while, it is normal. I believe you're past the rewards stage, he already "goes." It is only a matter of time. Don't discourage, it's only a little while longer. Good luck.

Whoever is with him throughout the day needs to ask him every 15-20 minutes to go potty. Start by asking if he needs to go, and if he says no but then wets himself before the next time he is asked, then switch from asking him to just bringing him to the potty every 15-20 minutes. You may have to do this for weeks and weeks (and even months) until he does it better on his own.

Someone told me recently she set an oven timer to remember to ask her son to go, but now the timer is like a Pavlov response where he has to go every time he hears an oven timer-haha!

L., you are so close, just hang in there. I know it can be frustrating, but it sounds like he is doing great and is almost there! For me, the biggest thing that showed me they were completely potty trained was when they stayed dry consistently, through naps and night time, and went to the potty on their own upon waking up. Sounds like your little guy is almost there, just keep up the good work and know that this stage will not last much longer.

I just wanted to add that my youngest is 25 months, and is fully potty trained (yes, even nighttime and naps), so it is completely possible, you just have to be patient and give him time to finally "get it." I took the slow and gentle approach with him...never pushing it or punishing accidents, just showing him the ropes and taking small steps day by day, and not expecting much.