Potty Training Help for 3 Yr Old Boy

Have you tried the cool touch pull ups? That was what I had to use with my son. It gives him a cold feeling when he starts to pee in his pull up. My son is 3 1/2 and is now fully potty trained now. Maybe you could make a game out of going to the potty. Put up a chart and when he tells you he has to go then let him put a sticker on it and after so many times he gets a sticker get him some thing special till he gets in the swing of things.
My son was having a hard time with it but then his cousin which is 1 year older moved back from Chicago and after that it was a piece of cake. I just hope my 14 month old will be as easy to potty train.
Hope this can help you.

I know exactly what you are going through.I just got done potty trianing my 2 year old son and he did the exact same thing.I thought it was my fault because originally when i started training him i did it with him being naked,well it worked so well that he would only be potty trianed as long as he had nouthing on.The seconed i put anyhting on him like underwhare or pull-up's he would go pee in them.It was sooo frusterating because as you know it's not like we can take them outin public naked!!! The only thing that payed off was persistance,persistance,persistance.I know that is the last thing you want to hear because it seems like you have been trying at this for awhile,but i just kept taking him to the bathroom every 20 min with underwhare on and lo and behold 4 long months later now he fianally gets that he has to go pee pee in the potty even with underwhare on.Hang in there before you know it this will be a didtant memory.Good luck.Love Abby

Hi R. - as the mom of 4 boys to potty train (3 down, 1 to go!) I completely understand how frustrating it is and how it seems like it's taking forever. But, let me tell you - it sounds like your son is doing great for a 3 year old. Not sure if he's using the "big potty", but that may be an answer to your issue with the pooping. We have one of those seats you can put on top of the regular seat and we just hang it on a hook - high enough the baby can't reach. This way he'll at least start out asking for your help to put the seat on. After going through two boys who couldn't or wouldn't wipe, my third son was like yours and just did it. I wouldn't worry about it too much - what you really want is for him to be independent in this. If/when he goes to preschool the teachers will expect him to just "go" when he has to and to clean himself. This is a terrific life skill. As far as the accidents - my sons REALLY wanted to be in underwear all the time. I found that the switching back and forth (just for naps, like you) made it more confusing for them. We do have about 20 pairs ! of 2T/3T underwear - and we just switched out the squirted ones (I kept a basket of them in the bathroom and did a lot of laundry for a couple of weeks) until they got used to always going when they had to. Hope that helps - Sorry so long winded.

I wouldn't accept this advice when I was trying to potty train my son and it took me about 2 years to get him trained.... your son isn't ready. Wait for him to be ready and it will take less than a week...

Hi R.,

The incentive with praises works great. If you buy some stuff which your son likes a lot , and if you can explain to him that he will get it only if he goes to the bathroom and most important if he tells you before that. Praise him and give him the favorite food or thing he likes, when he has done the desired steps. It will take you no more than 3 days to create this new habit and you will be amazed of the power of the incentives. I have 2 girls and 1 boy and I can assure you that my advice is based on extensive experience. My son now is 11, but he was potty trained since he was 8 months. The same with my girls.
Good luck,

M.

R.,
He is only three! Take him to the bathroom often so you can help train him. If he is often emptied he won't have as many accidents. He will also learn the routine you are asking of him-closing the bathroom door afterwards- if you are showing him after every bathroom trip. He will learn. Don't worry.

From your edited to add part sounds like he knows & has bladder control, but is choosing not to go on the potty. I have a just turned 3 yr old potty trained & am busy introducing the idea to my 21 month old boy. As far as poop I found a reward always works for us, but I have learned in my house not to make the reward candy since my child's desire is to great & will try to earn the reward as many times/day as possible. I use a golden star & once 5 are earned an alone trip to the bookstore w/ the parent of their choice & one book is the reward.
As far as pee I remind over & over again about the underwear & even on outings (once I determined they were really getting it) only underwear & be ready to have accidents for a week or more depending on their personality. I also always have a potty in the car & initially had folks empty bladders everytime we arrived & left our destinations. 1st so I didn't have to take 2 under 2 into every public potty & 2nd to try & avoid using pull ups since to this day if I don't take pull ups off first thing in the morning we would pee all day in them simply for convenience & not wanting to miss a moment of playtime.

Good luck! I hope some of this helps.

You should check out www.thewomensnest.com Women's Forum I bet they could help you!

Set a timer. Every 30 mins, to hour take him to the potty. No matter where you are or what you are doing. After a while you can stretch the time out to 2 hours or so, but in the beginning you have to be consistent and take him all the time. After a few days of this he should be able to tell you he needs to go and should be accident free. When you think it's poopy time, he should have a fairly consistent schedule, take him in a give him a book to read. Encourage him to sit and wait until he has to go Don't talk about poop being gross or nasty, because that causes some children to fear doing poop in the potty.

Hi R. -
Ugh, I feel your pain! I thought my son Haden (now 4 yrs) was incredibly difficult to potty train. He learned to pee pretty early on, but the poop took forever. Every day for MONTHS I changed poopy pants, but was determined not to go back to pull-ups - my feeling was that he needed to learn not to go in his underwear, and he only wore pull-ups at night. We had a couple of hiccups, when he would start to wet himself again, too, and we'd have to go back to the beginning. Patience, patience, patience. Here's what I did:
Haden wore underwear all day. I'd sit him on the potty every 45 minutes (we stopped doing this when he got to the point he could tell us he had to pee, but as I said above, we ended up going back to this a couple of times). When we went out, I put the little plastic potty in the back of the car, and kept to my 45 minute schedule. Haden sat on the potty in parking lots a lot! He was pretty regular about pooping around the same time every day, so we'd just pay close attention to him, and reward with Hershey's Kisses - he calls them "poopy treats" to this day - gross! :) But as I said, it took FOREVER!
The good news is, I have a 2 year old daughter that is already completely potty trained (I think she wants to be like her big brother). We'll see how it goes with my youngest son (now 4 months). I'll do my own little test on whether girls are just easier to train, or it's only the first one and the younger children pick it up faster. . .

Good luck!!
D.

I have potty trained two boys. First, you stated that he knows when he has to go but then stated that if he has anything on, he goes in that. Sounds like he hasn't truly master knowing when he needs to go. I agree that if they aren't ready - it not worth the trouble because it is more work for you.
I started both boys after age three. I put them in big boy underwear after letting them pick out what they wanted at the store. Then I bascially stayed home for week. Every 20 minutes, we would go to the potty together. As they mastered that, I extended the time longer and longer but still asking if they needed to go. After a week, they had figured it. There were still accidents here and there. For naps and bed, I did use a pull up until either they remained dry or the one asked to wear big boy pants instead.

Regarding poop, I would make a HUGE deal about that. Jump up and down and praise so they wanted to tell me they pooped because of the praise (and seeing Mommy act silly).

Good Luck and remember if they do have an accident - don't get upset (I know it hard not to)

Hey, R., I am currently in a very similar position with my nearly 3 year old girl. Even my mom, who raised 7 kids, said she has never seen someone quite as stubborn about potty-training as her--girl or boy. The scenario you described sounds exactly like what is going on. (We also have a younger one, an 11 month old, who loves to terrorize the little potty chair and climb up and reach into the big toilet if the lid is up, so we have to be diligent about making sure he stays away from these areas.) Anyway, everyone gave me advice to wait until she's ready and physiologically she has been very ready for a long time and I kept holding off because of her stubbornness. Finally, we started potty-training back in December, did the whole stay-at-home-don't-go-anywhere-til-she-gets-it-only-underpants-no-diapers. I nearly went insane, but we finally had some real successes after a solid week. However since then, it is the same thing as you describe (except while she used to be dry at night since she was 18 months, she now wets everytime she sleeps. Even if she pees right before bed and doesn't drink anything for an hour before bedtime). I don't know how it works out for you guys, but potty-treats, while she loves them, are not an incentive, nor is jumping for joy when she does go (esp. poop), it may make her happy, but it does not help in getting her to go again when she needs to, without my telling her to. I finally desperately searched the internet and came across an article, which I thought was helpful. The author talked about how nowadays so many parents hold off on potty-training because of the modern notion that you shouldn't train the kids before a certain age; whereas, in our parents generation it was rare to find a two year old that was not potty-trained. However, he notes that the longer you wait to potty train kids, the more developed the kids' wills are, which could make it more difficult depending on how stubborn. I think the gist of it is that if your child is older than two and stubborn, you just have to be equally stubborn and show them that you aren't backing down. The author also talked about helping your child to have a regular poop time, which I confirmed with my doctor that it is very possible. I think my daughter's is in the afternoon, so I just watch for the obvious signs (holding herself, wiggling around, etc.) and stick her on the potty until she goes. If she cries or fusses I tell her that I will close the door. (She doesn't like that, so usually she will comply). Then when she is done,which has become shorter and shorter time spans (the first time it took 20 minutes) rather than make the big fuss that we used to make, I just smile, tell her, "good work!" and take care of cleaning her up (though she is fond of trying this by herself, if I'm not quick). I have just been diligent about staying at it and letting her know that this is just what you do, her job. I think your son and my daughter will get there (hopefully they won't be the only high school grads in diapers ;)), but they are just tougher kids to train than most. Stay at it!

I had luck with my now 6 year old by putting regular cotton training pants on him, with a pullup on over them. That way he certainly felt wet & uncomfortable, but the pullup caught most of the mess. One week of this & he was ok. Another suggestion given to me was to buy underwear with a picture of a favorite character, & a pack of plain white. Tell him that the character does not want to get wet on & if it does, will disappear. Then put both pair in the wash, & pull out only the white pair. The expression & disappointment of losing the "friend" could help, if you can stand the potential melt down

I have twin boys who are 7 now, so I completely understand your dilema. Potty training was a battle for me, but you must have patience and find exciting ways to encourage and reward him. Many of my friends have boys too and most of them agree that with boys, it happens all of a sudden. It may seem like you're not making any progress now but you will see change. Also try to learn his pattern; how long is it after meals or frequent drinking is it before he usually has an accident? Try to get him to sit on his pot or the toilet 30-45 minutes after meals and drinks to prevent accidents. Good Luck!!!

I don't believe the advice that your son is not ready. At 3 he is more than ready and I found out the first time that the longer you wait, the harder training is because they get strong willed. It sounds like you need to take your son to the bathroom and tell him to go more often. Children at this age become engrossed in activities and forget until they can't hold it anymore and once that feeling comes over them, they just can't hold it in. Even at 4 1/2 I'll catch my daughter holding herself because she got so involved she "forgot" to go potty and has to go immediately. Find out what motivates your son. It took me forever to realize that pieces of tastycakes that we called "potty treats" were the magic ticket. After a few times getting them, she wanted to voluntarily stop and go potty just to get the treat.

Good luck to you!

I wish I knew exactly what to tell you. My son is currently being potty-trained. What I did was exclusively put him in regular underwear and only put him in pullups during naps & nighttime. I started by putting him only in his shirts and underwear and remind him that he's wearing his big boy pants and I slowly started letting him wear his underwear while wearing his pants. And I just kept reminding him about his underwear. My son is 2 1/2 and for the past two weeks has remained dry during naps and nighttime. Just keep reminding him about his underwear. The pooping...well I'm still working on that one. I just have to watch for his signs that he has to poop and remind him that he is wearing (spiderman, deigo, etc) and it's not good/nice to poop in his pants. Constantly remind him that he's the big boy and not the baby like his brother who poops in his diaper. My youngest is 1.

The problem is that you are not consistent with him. Once you make the decision to potty train, you have to stick with it. Putting him in diapers is NOT potty training. You are confusing him. He sometimes has diapers on and sometimes doesn't. He doesn't know when to hold it or when to just "let it go".

If you are serious about wanting to potty train him then you have to ditch the diapers! Pull ups are the same as diapers, they are ok for nighttime use but other then that they are useless and work the same as a diaper!

Put him in "big boy" underwear and be patient with the accidents. Just try to check on him frequently and congratulate him for staying clean...don't put too much pressure on him to use the potty. After it has been awhile, give him a reminder that he needs to try to use the potty. Accidents may still happen in the beginning but just clean them up, change him and explain to him that it is ok and you will do better next time. You have to build his confidence up. Putting him in diapers just because you are leaving the house is sending him mixed signals and showing him that you don't have confidence in him so then why would he have any in himself. I know you are not deliberately sending that message but I do believe that is the message it sends.

When I potty trained my son I NEVER used pullups or diapers. If we had to go somewhere I would try to get him to go before we left the house, limit his fluid intake while we were out and I took a plastic bag, change of clothes, a towel and some wipes. He was only 2 when I trained him and he was FULLY trained in less then one week. :-)

I know that if you really commit to it, he will be trained in no time (especially at his age).

Good Luck, try to relax and make it fun :-)

Mel

Hello R.,

I am a 31 year old mother of three. My children are ages 13, 12 and 9. Two girls and one boy. I know your obstacles in the potty training phase. Well their are two things that are helpful 1) communicate with your son and ask him if he has to go potty (ask frequently) then when he does use the potty award him with incentives (a treat, or even praise) 2) Your husband is a key helper, whenever he goes to the bathroom your son should be right behind him. While your husband is using the potty, your son should use his potty at the same time. This was very helpful with my son, cause they look up to their father and mimicks what they do. Hope this helps!!