15 answers

Potty Training Help - Detroit,MI


I am going to start seriously potty training my children this weekend and need some help. I have semi-started already by putting them on the toilet periodically during the day but they never "go" while on the potty. They are ready because they are bringing me diapers saying they want to be changed after they "go" and taking off their diaper because they don't like the wetness. I have been putting them on the potty once in the morning and after nap time but, like I said, they just think it is a big toy. They even come to me and say "Potty, Mommy" but I think they have already gone in their diaper because nothing comes out. At the rate this is going they are going to continue going in their diaper and playing with the potty.

To expedite matters, I think I should start putting them in pull-ups and undies. This will help me to know when they need to get on the potty and help them to know when they need to get on the potty. My mother and sister says I should stick with diapers but, at this rate, I feel they will be 6 years old and still in diapers. It is tedious and we are no closer to our goal than when we started.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I just got done potty training my 2 1/2 year old(my third child) All I can say is if you start keep it up!! I would also reccomend water proof underwear(one step ahead) Pull-ups only for sleeping. I felt it took forever to train my second and third because I used the pull-ups too often. My first was done in 3 days!! When I finally said no more pull-ups for my second also, 3 days, and again when I finally realized I made the same mistake with my daughter, and switched to undies, 3 days!!!
Good Luck!
T. K.

More Answers

I haven't started potty training yet, but I started reading a book on it called Potty Training in One Week...by Gina Ford. There is a section there about twins and I thought it was a great suggestion to buy any/all potties, portable or the ones that sit directly on the toilet the same so that they aren't fighting over a color or print. I wouldn't have thought of that! Good luck!

hey C.
what i did when i pottty trained all five of mine and two of my friends kids is set a timer and ever 30 min put them on the potty and they will get the hang of it the other thing we did is once we went for it we went for it that mean pantys no pull up they are just like diapers but they go up and down good luck and stick with it they will get it girls girls are quicker then boys

Put them in the training underware that are thick (3 ply) cotton. It will prevent the pee from going on the floor, but they will definitely know they are wet. While they are wearing the underpants, take them and set them on the potty every half hour or so. When they pee or poop in the potty, immediately clap your hands, make a big deal of it, and take them to the kitchen for a treat. I will use 3 m&m's, 1 or 2 gummy bears, a pack of fruit snacks. They will get the picture real soon with the rewards. Don't worry about getting them into a bad habit of always getting sweets after the potty. This won't happen, as time goes on, they will get so used to going on the potty and forget about getting treats. Mine now will run to the potty, and just hurry to get back to her dolls or t.v. show. Good luck, it definitely sounds like they are ready. I use pull ups for naps and night time. When they start waking up dry, you will know they can wear underware for sleeping too!!!!

Hi C.!
I also have boy/girl twins. They are a little over 2 1/2 years old.
They have been potty trained for a little over a month now, except for wiping, which they still need help with.
I spent an entire week devoted to potty training them. We didn't go anywhere except one local mom & tot outing on the Wednesday of the week.
Before we started, my daughter was interested more in the potty than my son. Both had gone on the 'big' potty (pee and poop) but not regularly.
Sunday we took them to the store, they picked out undies, potty seats for the toilet and some 'prizes'. So we had potty seats for each toilet. We also have little potties that we had purchased before this.
We also have them in big boy & girl beds, which makes it easy for them to get in & out of during nap time or night time when they have to go.
We usually introduce things to them through books and videos. So we bought a potty training video and used Karen Katz' potty book. They watched the video to the store and home. Then they watched it for three days into the week, twice the first day and once the next two.
We went cold turkey - straight to undies. No pull ups. Not even at night.
We put the little potties in their playroom so they could go when they needed. Then we put them in their rooms at nap time and night time for the same reason. (This works really well. We love these because they are portable for car rides or overnights when visiting grandparents and because they can go on their own during nap time or night time, so we don't have to keep getting up all the time)
My son actually learned first. He would go, but would not pull his pants up. He was not interested in his 'prizes' for going: balloons & balls, which are his favorite. As soon as I introduced M&Ms as a reward, he suddenly was able to pull up his pants & go all the time. He has been going pee & poop on the potty ever since.
My daughter was another story. To our surprise, she would sit on the potty but now would not go. She got up and would pee elsewhere in the house. (very frustrating). She also was not interested in any prizes of any kind - make up, candy, you name it, which stumped us. We tried a 'potty training doll' but honestly it's a little freaky & a lot of work (it goes right away and a curious 2 year old does not always leave the diapers on) We tried to get her back in diapers thinking that she was not ready & we didn't want to force it, but she would take the diapers off & put the undies back on. I have to admit, one day I lost it and told her I was very frustrated because I didn't know what to do & just wanted her to try. So one day during a nap she got up because she had to go, started to go in one place and then made it to the potty. I went in & saw the trail and that she finished on the potty, made a HUGE deal of it (even a potty song for her) and that was it from then on out.
I read many twins blogs on potty training and honestly 95% will say one twin learns first over the other. The methods are all different, I think it's just important for you to figure out what will work for you & your child. I do have a friend that does not use little potties and she is up all night long helping them go on the toilet. I'm just going to take it in stages because I definitely need sleep. So I'll try to eliminate the little potties as a 'next step'. But they are going in public toilets and at friends houses on the big toilets so that's good. I just think it's hard for them to remember all the time when they are playing & like the convenience of the nap time/bed time option.
We had a few accidents the first two weeks (mostly at night), but haven't had any in over a month now. We did put little pads in their beds under where they slept that helped at night. We'd just pull off the top layer & they could go right to sleep on the fitted sheet underneath.
It does take a lot of energy but it is so worth it once it's done!!!
I wish you the best of luck & hope this helps....

your twins just turned 2 in february... so I doubt they are ready to train.

But pullups do not work... you need cotton panties so the kid pess and they feel the wetness.. they quickly get the concept once they have cotton panites..

I dont know if I would do both at once.. maybe start with the girl.. and then once she gets it try with the boy.

My kids told me from about 18 months that they needed a diaper.. but they didnt train that young..

Try training for a few days.. if it doesnt work..(they dont seem to be getting it..at all) give up and try again when they are older.. my daughter was trained in 2 days but she was very ready...so it was easy.
putting them on the potty once a day is nice ..but once you start training it is once an hour. every hour..

Hi C.. I have to agree with one of the mom's responses. Your kids are not too young. If they are showing and interest and you feel they are ready to start then please listen to your insticts and start them. I think most kids are trained too late and they (the children) start to control whether they go or not and it becomes a struggleby age three. Make it a positive situation. I have the book Potty Training in One Day. It is a step by step process of how to potty train your child in one weekend. I think Pull ups are good for at night if they have an accident but during the day they need to wear underware to feel what an accident feels like. Again keep it positive. i like the idea of a sticker chart for dry mornings and afternoons:) My daughter is 16 months and is already starting to point after she goes potty in her diaper. So I wills start her by the time she is 18 months:) Good luck. There is a lot of support on the internet for the one day potty training. Pick the one program that you like and go for it:)

Hi C.,

You've got people here telling you that your kids aren't ready to train. I say, YOU know your kids. They do not.

I practiced EC (elimination communication) with our daughter since was 5 months old. Yes, it is infant potty training, but it is low pressure and it is more about ME watching HER signals and not trying to get a 5 month old to tell you they have to go potty. All babies give signals when they have to go. They have an instinct to not soil themselves, we teach them to go in diapers and then expect them to unlearn it later.

That being said, I really felt at 18 months my daughter was to a point where she was ready to go full on potty training. She could take her pants off, she KNEW when she needed to go and often times would tell me she needed to go we would go to the toilet and she would actually pee. So, I ditched the diapers (except for nap and bedtime).

I will say, pull ups are evil. Yes, they save a lot of laundry, but I really think kids GET that they are just a glorified diaper. So, I only use pull ups at nap time, or if we are going to be gone for a long period of time and I think we might have issues. (but quite honestly, whenever we are out she hasn't had any accidents)

It seems like your kids are aware AFTER they go. You need to have them tune into their bodies urges BEFORE they go. A good way is to let them run naked. Or put them in a pair of undies... when you see they are going say 'You're going PEE!' They will get that body awareness.

You can also accomplish this by giving them lots of water and then taking them to the toilet every 10 minutes or so. I find with my daughter sometimes she needs help relaxing and letting it go. So, we take a small toy or book. Most often a book. Reading the book helps her relax and then she can pee. Yes, sometimes we are there for 10 minutes...but she is learning to control that muscle. The muscle that we use to go pee is always contracted...so we have to consciously release it and relax it. It takes some time for kids to get that and master it. Patience is KEY! I prefer panties because she doesn't like the feeling of the wet panties and pants. It's more difficult for her to tell with pull ups.

We also do a sticker chart. Morning and afternoon opportunity for a sticker. No accidents... she gets a sticker.

My daughter is 20.5 months old. We've been doing this since she was 18 months. Do we have accident free days? Yes. Not every day... but we do have several. I think at 2 years it will be easier for you.

Patience, persistence...those are key. Also, I know I have to take her to the potty regularly. I know approximately how often she has to go...and I take her to the potty regularly. The more she goes in the potty, the more she learns that is what we do.

I started with a little child potty chair... but soon she wanted to sit on the big toilet like mama. So, I got a seat to go on the toilet. A friend of mine bought this thing called The Potty Stool through Amazon. It's AWESOME. At 18 months of age she could climb up and put herself on the potty. She loved that. She is very independent and loved having something else she could do on her own.

Good luck. If YOU think your kids are ready, then I'm sure they are. Don't let someone else who is not their mommy tell you that you don't know your kids. Mommy instinct... it's powerful.

I think they sound a little young to actually start training. I have 3 girls. Two I trained at 2 1/2 without any pants at all. Training lasted about 3 days! Lucky me!They hadn't invented pull-ups at the time. I can't think those pull-ups really are much help as they feel just like a diaper. #3 was a little more difficult. She was 3 1/2 and afraid of the toilet.
Just because they can talk about it doesn't mean they are physically ready. My general rule was wait until they are totally dry at night. Then you know they have some control over things. Put them on the potty FIRST thing in the morning...everyone has to go first thing in the morning. Then they will have success right off the bat. When that happens, do the HOORAY for going potty in the potty dance, put pants on them (no pull-ups). They can really feel the result of not getting to the potty if they have on pants or even no pants.
Don't start too early, or you will be doing it longer and it will be more frustrating for all of you. Maybe you need two potty chairs so the morning thing happens all at once??? We all make it through this...I have never known anyone having 6 year olds in diapers! LOL ALl the best to you!

Hi C.,

I have boy/girl twins that are now 7 1/5 years old. Trust me - they won't still be in diapers! I waited until they were almost 3 to start potty training (for my own sanity). Their birthday is in the fall, so I waited until after we were done swimming at the pool with swimmy diapers in the summer. I've heard that once you take the diapers off - keep them off. It's more confusing for the kids if you go back and forth. I started with my daughter and pretty much camped out on the bathroom floor with her. I put a little bowl of M&Ms in the bathroom. Every time she used the potty successfully, she got one. It only took about 3 days to completely potty train her. You can't just randomly put them on the potty when it's convenient for you. It has to be something you are committed to doing non-stop until it's done. I waited a few weeks after she was trained to start with my son. It took him a good three weeks to be completely trained. They both wore diapers to bed each night for about 6 months. Once the diapers are dry for a week straight in the mornings, then I stopped the diapers at night. My son needed the help of the night-time diapers that got "cold" to help waike him up to go. He's a very deep sleeper. I hope this helps. Remember: If you start the kids too early, then you will just be training them for longer.

Good luck!

Instead of always buying pull-ups, consider cloth training pants. They hold a lot of messes, but they are also more like underwear and pull off and on. They also are washable, so you don't have to waste money buying pull-ups all the time. They let the child feel the wetness to help with training. Training is a process, but it sounds like they are making small improvements along the way!

if you are going to do it this weekend, i would put them in nothing all weekend. when we potty trained my nieces if they had underwear on, they thought it was a diaper. so they ran around the house with nothing on, and every hour was put on the potty to go. now, if you use underwear, they will feel wet right away, and will learn that they don't like it. I am not a fan of pull ups, because i think it delays kids learning. now if they have learned, and you are using the pull ups for nap time, or for long car rides, then they are at least covered if an accident happens, but you don't wnat the kids to learn they are protected still.

Contrary to what you may hear, I'd say most kids don't train until 3 and some are 4 before they can be trusted - especially boys or one whose parents put a lot of pressure on them. I'd continue to let them experiment but not change anything this early, except diapers of course.

Enjoy your twins. They'll grow up so quickly!

Hi C.,
Even though they are bringing you diapers when they go, it could still be a long time before they will actually potty train. My son was bringing me new diapers at 18 months and still didn't completely potty train until 3. I firmer believe if they aren't ready to not force them. It will become a power struggle to them. I would try putting underware on them and see how they do. If they have alot of accidents I would put them back in diapers or pull-ups. Then try again in a month or so. Don't try and force it. I did what you are doing right now and let my kids try and use the potty whenever they wanted. When they were ready they basically trained in a day. Once they "got it" they never had accidents day or night. Just my thought. Good luck.

I'm currently potty training my two year old son (my third child) and don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll let you know what I know and have done to potty train my kids.

At first I would sit them on the potty every 45 - 60 minutes regardless of what they say. This will get them familiar with the potty and you should be able to get something out of them. Plus, it should hopefully avoid some accidents.

If you sit them on the big potty at home or in public it is easier for them if you sit them on it backwards. This way they don't feel like they're falling in, they have the back of the seat to hold on to, and your son won't "spray" all over. :)

Another thing I've done is to get a video on potty training from the library for the kids to watch. They are kinda cheesy to us adults but truly are helpful for the kids.

I also put their potty chair right in the living room so they can sit down and relax while watching cartoons and take their time to go potty.

At night you may still want to put a diaper on them for awhile. Diapers are cheaper than pull ups so I'd go that route. And, if necessary, you can always buy those covers that go over the mattress to protect it. My oldest had accidents at night until she was about 9 years old!

Anyway, each child is different and my girls were easier than my son, but my son is also my youngest so I'm not sure if that has something to do with it too. But they'll eventually get it and won't be 6 six years when they finally do (although sometimes it feels like that!) ha ha.

Good luck!

I just got done potty training my 2 1/2 year old(my third child) All I can say is if you start keep it up!! I would also reccomend water proof underwear(one step ahead) Pull-ups only for sleeping. I felt it took forever to train my second and third because I used the pull-ups too often. My first was done in 3 days!! When I finally said no more pull-ups for my second also, 3 days, and again when I finally realized I made the same mistake with my daughter, and switched to undies, 3 days!!!
Good Luck!
T. K.

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