Potty Training Help!! - Chicago,IL

Updated on January 11, 2011
K.S. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

Hello Ladies,

I have a 2 1/2 year old girl that I am desperately trying to potty train. I started with stopping her with her milk (ie, no liquids after 730).
She is good at going pee before bath time, and wiping and even telling me she has to pee again before her diaper goes back on.

She has only pooed once, but then threw up right after?

I first started this journey about a month ago with pull ups..and it was working well, I had a chart with stickers and stamps..and it was great. At that point i was trying to conquer having her pee before poo. Either way, I would constantly ask, ask her to come with me when I would pee..and she just started going in her pull ups! Every time I would ask she said no, then I check the pull ups and there wet, or she said yes she was ready, but already went in the pull up or decided not she did not want to go and then go afterwards!

I then decided to go cold turkey, and go straight to underwear. I bought her underwear with her favorite characters, and was very particular about explaining to her to not get them wet. I also read that if the child soiled herself, or gets that "wet feeling" it will deter them from going in there pants. Again worked for a couple a days..a few hours..and then she came running to me and had peed all over herself. It;s like it never even bothered her!!

I have her back in diapers..bc I am going crazy...and I just dont know what to do...I have baby #2 on the way in April..and would like her to be out of diapers so I dont have to have 2 kids in diapers.

Can any of you ladies please suggest some things that worked for you...or even books that helped you thru the process. Any help would be greatly appreciated :)

Thank you

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T.

answers from Tucson on

I have a 2 yr old with another due in May. So i'm in the same boat as you. So far i've been just keeping her in panties and a shirt. No pants. I dont do pullups i think they are pointless. I bought some carpet cleaner for all the pees not going in the potty. We have a potty seat upstairs and downstairs. I keep her close to me and say to her about every 10 minutes "Let mommy know if you need to pee." I also watch her to notice signs of peeing. I take her to the potty every time wether she pees her panties or not. You need lots of panties! It will take a couple weeks, but i think she will get it eventually. We just have to stick with it. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

potty training will NOT work until the child is self-aware of the need to go. You cannot teach this....& it comes at all different ages with children.

You can encourage the process by being vigilant in taking her to the potty, but until she KNOWS she has to go BEFORE she releases that bladder - it's simply a process of training yourself to watch the clock!

It is so hard to be patient thru this process!

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B.H.

answers from Springfield on

You have to let it happen naturally. I know it makes you nuts....trust me I was there with my little girl. I was trying to force it on her and it just backfired on me. Just let it happen, you will both know when the time is right. This will cause you so much less stress with it. Good luck!!

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

Give it a rest! When that baby comes her whole world is going to be thrown for a spin and might regress. Having two kids in diapers is really no big deal and easier in my opinion than having to rush one to the potty while out shopping. She might not be ready. I took my cousin's advice and waited until my son was 3 before I started. I realize girls are supposed to be easier but my son did it in a few days. Naps and nighttime are still diapers but he drinks a lot of fluids.

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Get the e-book at www.3daypottytraining.com. My daughter was two months shy of 3 and she was day and night trained within a week. No pull ups or training pants ever. It's all in there- answers to common questions, how to reward, and how to handle the night training. I would also suggest waiting until the new baby is here. But if you want to get it out of the way, take a few weeks off, talk about it a lot, set up some incentives with her and pick a date to start. You're ready, so why wait?

Good luck
C.

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T.G.

answers from Rockford on

I feel for you. Been there, done that. When I was due with my second we had been casually training for a few months but in the couple weeks before the baby was born we did some serious training and he stuck with it with only a few accidents. Things didn't work out quite so neatly between #2 and #3 (though the age gap was just 20 mos) and I had two in diapers for over a year. Actually ended up doing night training with the second and third at the same time. The third got it in a few days, the second has been day trained for over 3 years and still has trouble with nights. Nights is a whole different ball game. My 3rd was about 75% trained when my youngest was born. But she regressed and I found that it didn't really matter to me as it was really hard to be constantly helping/coaxing a 2 year old to the toilet while nursing/caring for a newborn and other young kids - not to mention dealing with my own recovery. My youngest is now 2.5 and we are experiencing what you are -a couple good days followed by "I pee in my underwear and I am too busy to care." It is frustrating and I will totally admit that I am probably shooting myself in the foot by switching between diapers/pull-ups and underwear but you do what you gotta do to stay sane. And I have to say that having done potty training 3 times before, it's not worth sweating. He's starting to get it and soon enough these days will be a memory. Best wishes to you.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would go back to underwear. And she will likely have a number of 'accidents' before she is trained. Do not make her feel bad when she has an accident. Just keep calmly telling her pee and poop go in the toilet. Just remind her to go to the bathroom when she wakes up, after each meal, before bed and if you notice she hasn't gone in a while. If she is really having fun playing, she likely will not stop on her own to go to the bathroom unless you remind her. We did not do any kind of reward chart/stickers/anything else with DS (25 months at the time). More than 50% of the kids in this world are trained by 12 months (article in the NY Times a few years ago, lots of source material) so this late toilet training is a US specific thing. Also babies in this country used to be trained earlier so I wouldn't worry that she isn't ready. Now that disposables are so easy there is less parent motivation so kids are not trained. I think your motivation is absolutely reasonable. My mom had me trained at 12 months because my sister was due 1 month later and she was not going to have two in diapers :)

In the 1950, almost a 100% of children wore cloth diapers and 95% of these children were trained by the age of 18 months.

In the 1980s, about 50% of children wore cloth diapers, while the other 50% wore disposable diapers and only about 50% of the children were potty trained by the age of 18months.

Today, almost 90-95% of children wear disposable diapers and only about 10% of children are potty trained by the age of 18 months.

Today, the average age for potty training is about 30 months with the age ranging from 18-60 months (that's 5 years old).

A.S.

answers from Spokane on

She may not be ready yet. Or, she may be picking up that it's stressing you out and responding. They pick up on sooo much that we don't even realize we're putting out there. I def would not stress it right now because once the little one is here, she'll regress anyway. I had four and it happened with all three of my older children when a new baby arrived (they're all about 16 months apart, certainly not planned that way though!) and it's perfectly normal.

I would plan on working on it again this summer. She's about the age my youngest daughter decided she was ready. We only had one bathroom and it was upstairs. So I kept a potty chair downstairs for her. And since it was summer, I just let her run around in a dress with no underwear on. It was simple for her to get to her chair and she didn't have to worry about pulling anything down before she lost it. Also, if I noticed she hadn't brought me her potty to be dumped in a while, (usually about an hour or so) it didn't matter if she said she didn't have to go. I would sit her on the potty for a few minutes and she usually went. But don't make her sit there until she's gone if it's more than just a few minutes! It will just upset her and lead to more problems. As my daughter got better at recognizing the ques her body was given, we bought some underwear and started experiment with those. Be prepared to go through a lot! And be prepared for messes. That's how this works.

Right now all you've done is confused her by switching everything around so much by going cold turkey and then putting her back in diapers. Just forget it for now or you'll both be miserable. I understand where you're coming from not wanting more than one child in diapers but it's not worth her emotional health and physical well being to force her right now.

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

2 1/2 was too young for my DD. I started at 27 months, but I should have waited. I did the 3 day potty training and didn't follow it to the T, but she would have done better if I would have waited. She turned 3 in October and is wonderful about it now, but it was a long haul. Just take her cues and don't rush her because the baby is coming. That's not fair. Let her take her time.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 2.5 yo and a baby coming this week. We are potty training with underwear but it has been a drawn out process. I think he was not ready when we started a while ago, so i put him back in diapers. He is doing better now, just wearing underwear but wont poop on the potty yet. I am not pushing him because it wont work. He will be ready when he is ready. Yelling or punishing wont work either, though im not sure how they did it years ago at earlier ages. This is my 2nd child training and you just have to wait til they get it. I will have 2 in diapers for a while, but you cant force it, it will backfire. Let it happen and it will in time. I know its frustrating but i dont want to stress out my 2 y.o because of it. After all, they are still very young. I dont agree with letting it go on forever, but in my experience that hasnt happened. Just give it a little time and dotn put huge pressure on her.

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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

I have a 2.5 year old too. What seems to work well with her, is to actually let her run around bare-bottomed during the day. She will tell us when she has to pee or poo, and she will use her little potty. As soon as we would put underware on her she would wet with in minutes it seemed, that part takes a little longer to learn. If you have her fully trained before the baby arrives don't be surprised if she regresses for a while. (I have a 6 month old as well... it does happen, but don't fret, it's not long lived.) Well that's just a thought that works for us. There is a lot of good information online and in books about potty training. Somethings work for some kids and not for others.

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

probably not what you want to hear- but it doesn't sound like she's ready. when the kids are ready potty training goes quick and smoothly. don't push it-try again in a month and stick to one method--doesn't matter which one, but keep it consistent. and if she isn't trained by the time the baby arrives don't sweat it. A newly potty trained child is not an easy thing- you are constantly reminding about the potty and constantly going to the potty with them b/c it's a new experience and they want to do it all the time. might be hard to keep up with that with a newborn! good luck!

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

are you trying to potty train and night train at the same time? my kids been potty trained for a year and still n ot night trained. 2 different things ( plus they tend to wake in middle of night and you have to help them to potty,,,do you really want to be awoken in the middle of the night??) kids are going to have accidents, some of them for weeks. if you dont have the patience for that then id quit now....also if you are still training when baby comes she will most likely regress. So either do it now and expect accidents and DONT night train or wait until she is older and ready., remember its not her fault you are pregnant and want her trained. also try nothing on as they tend to realize they arent wearing a diaper when they are naked, underwear can still feel like a diaper and they can forget its undies

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

If she's fighting you at all on this, give it a rest. Now that you put her back in diapers, try again in about a month. My daughter turned 3 in October, and we started training about a week ago. Before this point, she fought me, so I backed off. We've had great success this past week. Go straight to panties, let your daughter pick them out. I made this fun by having a 'potty prize bowl'. It's been celebration week here in our house (afterall, it is a huge accomplishment!). My daughter gets a 'present' at the end of each day for staying dry. She has been doing wonderful! Wears a diaper at night only, and I'm hoping we can do away with that pretty quick. She was really not ready before this age & more Moms need to realize no matter how bad THEY want their child out of diapers, it won't happen until your child WANTS to be out of diapers. Give her credit for 'knowing' when she's ready, trust me, she'll let you know!

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Does she have a somewhat schedule? I started paying close attention because I was introducing my daughter to the potty and I noticed she'd go at half hours, like 1230, 230, 330, 530 or very close to them. From what I've heard this is very normal with your daughter sometimes they go back and forth. My mom said she would set a timer and every 30 mins would take me to use the potty and in a couple weeks I was always using it. I am waiting for my DD to be more motivated about the potty because like your daughter she is not concerned about being wet. It does suck to have two babies in diapers but if it happens it happens (I know easy for me to say lol). I try to be non-chalant about it with her because everyone told me if I push her too hard she will resist a lot or take a lot longer. How did you react to her accident? My daughter likes the elmo's potting time video, she sings the accidents happen song lol she's only 26 months though so she's still pretty young.

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