Potty Training for My Daughter

It sounds to me like your daughter is doing well for what the doctors expected. I would check with your doctor as to whether she is on track or not. As far as whether or not she would be accepted into school, the answer is a required "yes". If you have any problems, you need to get with your doctor and get a 504 plan. It is a plan for a student with special medical needs for school similar to an IEP for a child with learning needs. Any school receiving any kind of government aid is required to follow it. I would suspect that you wouldn't need to go that far, though.

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A child who simply isn't potty trained is WAY different from a child with a medical reason to have such issues. I really doubt that a school would deny your daughter based on a medical condition completely out of anyone's control. As far as helping her to go potty more, you might want to get her something that can be like a game. Having a watch that beeps every hour to remind her to go can be fun and seem very grown up to a 4-year-old. Letting her be the one to wear the watch can help to empower her, as well, and let her feel a little more control in this difficult situation. Good luck to you and your little girl :)

Hi S.,

I have no experience with all this. But it wouldn't hurt to talk to a pediatric uroligist. There may be pelvic floor exercises your daughter could learn to do to strengthen the area. Also it is normal for girls to wait too long to the bathroom and therefore leak. Maybe having the uroligist or your pediatrician talk to her about not 'holding it' would help.

R.

This is a medical issue. They have to make accomodations for her. It's the law. I would start talking with the school before the beginning of kindergarten to come up with a plan to help her integrate and be comfortable. Include the pediatrician (and possibly urologist) in this discussion. For now, you could get her something like pull-ups where she'll stay dry in class but can still go to the bathroom if she starts feeling the sensation.

Being the mother of a child with "special needs" I can definately say that since your daughter was born with a birth defect, she should be eligble for some sort of services at your school. Find the number to your local PLUK (Parents Lets Unite for Kids) and ask if they can help you with advocacy. They will help you find out what services and assistance your daughter will qualify for as well as helping you get her set up in school. They also know the rules and legal requirements, and your local public school CANNOT refuse your daughter because she has a weak bladder due to surgeries to fix a birth defect. Good Luck....and remember, your daughter has the same rights as any other kid, NEVER let your school bully you into decisions you don't feel absolutely comfortable with. NEVER!!

Hi S. - I can't imagine they would deny her access to public school if the school is aware that she has a doucmented medical problem. It sounds like this is going to be more than just a short-term problem.

Perhaps when she is at school, she could wear a big-kid pull-up until she is able to recognize her bladder cues. There are brands now that are lower cut so they look like underwear.

There is also a program that helps kids who have elimination concerns - Your daughter's urologist will know about these and perhaps other programs to help strengthen her bladder:

Dry Time Clinic at Childrens Hospital ###-###-####

PEEP Clinic - Pediatric Effective Elimination Program Clinic ###-###-#### or www.peepclinic.com

I agree that legally they can not keep your daughter out of school because of a bladder issue. Children 5 and older have a legal right to be in school. You may have to address the issue with some type of pull up or padded underwear, or sending dry clothes if she does leak so that she can change, or making sure the teacher sends her to the restroom at designated times. The school has to work with you on her condition and allow her to be in school. I would talk to her doctor about the best options for helping her stay dry for the amount of time she is in school. Then I would meet with the school administrators as soon as possible so she can be placed in the classroom that will be the most beneficial. (Some teachers are better or more patient when it comes to dealing with these type of situations.) Also realizing in most places it is only a couple of hours per day for kindergarten and then full days once she is in 1st grade.

Good Luck

Wow. It sounds like you have been through a lot with your little girl. Just wanted to let you know that my son is also four and he still needs reminders to go potty. It sounds like what your daughter is going through may be normal, especially if she is able to hold it between potty times. I wouldn't worry about Kindergarten, I'm sure you could arrange with the teacher to make sure she has set potty times at school, too- if need be. They would be understanding of your daughter's special needs, that's part of their job. Good luck!

I would be open with the teachers of the school. It's not like your daughter has any control with what's going on. She can't help having accidents. You can have her wear pull-ups. My son wasn't completely trained when he went into headstart and they were fine with it.

Hi S.,
What a lot for a child to have gone through already in this life. It's wonderful that you are so sensitive to what is happening. It could be normal at this point, most kids are potty trained by 4 but not always. I wouldn't worry about school, pull ups are great and just have an honest conversation with the teacher and principal about what her body has gone through. Schools can be very helpful if they know what is going on. For future reference always hold tight to what you know is working for your kids. If you do have a problem with a teacher not being accepting then change teachers. You will have to be your childs advocate with this, it is a embarrassing topic for a young child to talk to strangers about and one you will need to lay the ground work for her on. Hopefully she will eventually have full control of her bladder but if not teach her how to deal with it in a positive way that does not make her feel bad about herself.
Good luck,
SarahMM

if this is a documented medical condition (sounds like it is), your daughter has legal protection to allow and keep her in kindy. talk to the principal of your school and find out what paperwork you need.

A.

i have dealt with a lot of different conditions such as this. my best thought for you would be to treat it as normal potty training. give her prizes for doing it. get excited about it. that may possibly get her to give a little more attention to the feeling of needing to go. try putting her in underwear. if she does leak she may take the sign of that as a time to use the bathroom. just remember be happy with her anytime she try's. it'll encourage her to do it. if she is just leaking due to the condition rather than a full bladder that she doesn't yet grasp. you should consult your doctor. maybe they can help. good luck i hope all turns out well.