4 Year Old That Still Wears Pullups at Night!!! Help

Updated on June 28, 2008
C.H. asks from Dallas, TX
51 answers

I need help on how do I get my 4 y/o out of the pullups at night. I have tried everything...I have even tried to go cold turkey and I spend more money on water and detergent washing blankets...please help....how do I get rid of these stinky things!!! thanks!!

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So What Happened?

Oh my goodness, I was not expecting all of the great responses. Thanks so much for all of the great advise. We have decided that he will decide on his own when he is ready. I would rather put up with the pullups than to push him for something his body isn't ready for. Thanks again you guys were great. I'm relaxing about the issue. Everyone have a great holiday....

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B.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 boys ages 6 and 7. I have never asked or hinted that they need to be out of pull ups. I don't like them wearing pull ups, however I did not want to get into a battle with either of them. My youngest stopped needing them at age 5, but my 7 year old is still having trouble. I speak to his pediatrician about it and she advises me. I hope my story helps you, I just decided it would be better to let them decide. Good Luck, B.

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

Some kids are just not ready at 4. My older daughter did not stop wearing pullups until she was almost 6! What helped, eventually, was waking her up before I went to bed and taking her to the potty. She never fully awakened. It was so funny to watch her! So, anyway, if you have tried everything and it's not working, then she's likely just not ready.

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think all kids are different. My special needs son stopped wearing night time pull-ups before my typical daughter did. With my daughter we tried rewarding her if she didn't wet the bed. That didn't work. Eventually she stopped wetting. I think when thier bodies are ready they will stop.

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

C.,
You should look at the older posts on this topic.... at least once a week a posting on bedwetting can be found on mamasource.

start with the site www.bedwettingstore.com lots of tips and tools there.

Just know that many, many moms have kids that go thru this and there are many kids even older than 4 still dealing with this issue. So you're not alone being frustrated.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

Bladders mature at different rates -- and heavy sleepers are more likely to wet the bed. My daughter wore pull ups EVERY night until she was 11 and started going through puberty. Don't stress out about it. Some kid's eyes don't work right, so they wear glasses. Your son's bladder doesn't work quite "right" - so he wears pull ups. In addition to pull-up, I highly recommend putting a zippered plastic mattress cover on his mattress to eliminate the possiblity of having a wet mattress. Everything on top of the plastic can easily be washed.

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T.W.

answers from Dallas on

My 8 year old wet at night until he was 6. We went to the doctors and got the medicine, but the doc warned me of the side effects and told me to try an alarm first. We already had an alarm from the Bedwetting store (www.bedwettingstore.com) but he had been scared to use it at night. After the doctor talked to him, he used it and within a month he was dry. He has been dry now 95% of the time. It worked wonders! Good luck.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

Boys are slower in their development than girls. I also have a 4 year old boy who is still in pull-ups at night. Children who are still in pull-ups at night are probably boys or have some sort of a delay. My 4 year old boy has high functioning Autism. He just isn't ready yet to give up his pull-ups. I heard that it has something to do with their brains - they need to be mentally ready to give up Pull-Ups (that's why all of your efforts have failed - your son just isn't mentally ready yet). Age 4 is not so bad. Worry about this if your child is 7 years old and still in Pull-Ups at night - not 4 years old.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

My pediatrician said to wait it out. My husband was convinced it was laziness and we tried waking our son up in the middle of the night to pee but that didn't always do it. He went through a phase of dry and lately it's been wet every morning. The doc said the bladder doesn't keep up with the body, especially in boys, but eventually, it will work itself out. It could be a while though! J.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

don't sweat the small stuff. continue to let him wear a pull up, and leave the issue alone for a while - like several months. this is VERY common, and i'm sure it's frustrating for you, but don't make it an issue for him. do the normal no liquids after 6:30ish, make him pee RIGHT before going to bed, etc. talk to his pedi at the next visit, but it would be best to bring his daddy(or some other adult) along so daddy can take him out of the room while you "visit" with the doctor about his bedwetting, don't embarass him, he is old enough to "feel bad". beyond that, just accept that it may be this way for awhile and try not to stress about it - you are not alone in this.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

My advice is let her be. Your constant stress adds to hers. I didn't stop wetting the bed until 9. I have had 7 children. Only one had problems beyond 5 but my niece who is 7 still has accidents. When she comes over here to spend the night I put her in goodnites so she is not embarassed the next morning. They will mature at their own rates. Just don't push it.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

Are you judging your 4 year old by the standard set by your 11 year old? Or the standard of a friend or relative? This may not be appropriate. My five year old just gave up her pull-ups. I don't believe this is "delayed". I've heard 6 years old is not cause for concern. Has your pediatrician told you that this is abnormal? If you do not have a reliable source telling you that your child is not developing properly, I would assume it is normal and stop stressing. Pushing the child may just cause anxiety issues and further delay.

Good luck!

J.L.

answers from Dallas on

He may still be a little young, but I bought the alarm and bed pads from www.bedwettingstore.com
It broke my oldest son when he was 5 and now my next son is wearing it. It clips to their underwear and the alarm part pins to their shirt at the shoulder. At the first sign of wettness, it sets the alarm off to wake them. It took 1/2 the summer for my first one and we had to stop for a while with my second son, but I am going to start again tonight. I know he he will be done by the time school starts again. The bed pads make it so you only have to change the pad, not the whole bed. Before the alarm, I tried the medication and it didn't work because they said my son was too young but I didn't want to wait til he was 8 for the meds to work.
Good luck. I feel your pain. I still have one son to go after the middle one and Goodnights are expensive!!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

She is obviously not ready for underware at night, so just give her more time and control. It is normal for kids to be in diapers at night until elementary school my pedi says.

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A.F.

answers from Dallas on

well he may actually have a weak bladder.. make sure you cut off all liquids at least one hour before bed but actually 2-3 is better..and no juice or water... milk only.. but i know when i was a small child i had to be put on some sort of medication for a short time and it helped me grow out of it and strengthened my bladder.. not sure the medicine name though, sorry! they could even be keeping a bladder or urinary tract infection, not all kids or adults show the same symptoms as the typical! good luck! manda

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U.A.

answers from Dallas on

i know of several kids, age 4 and older who wear pull-ups at night (and most of them are girs, it's not just boys). they are totally normal and wonderful kids and their parents don't think it's a problem or a "delay" of any kind. all kids are different. you'll have to wake yourself and the child up at least 2 times a night if you want to avoid it.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

My son got a 'yummy' for going dry. After two straight dry weeks, we switched to underwear. He still has accidents sometimes, but not more than twice a month. He still gets yummies (usually a box of raisins).

S.

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

C.,
I guess I am curious as to why it is a problem to have him where pull ups at night? Is it bothering him or do you not like the expense? My son wore pull ups until he was 5, but only at night, as otherwise he seemed to have accidents. My daughter on the other hand (his twin) seldom had accidents at night and never wore pull-ups. He still wet the bed occasionally until he was 8. He is a heavier sleeper and I think it took him longer to wake up and by then...too late. I also think a lot of it has to do with bladder development. If he still needs pull ups after age 5, I would seek the advice of a Dr. to be sure nothing is wrong, but even then some children bedwet well into their preteens. If you choose to go without pullups, then it is important that you are encouraging even when he wets the bed. My husband would get mad and yell at Zach until his brother corrected him about it and reminded him that he too used to wet the bed. You may do some research on bedwetting online and see tha tit is familial...
Hope this helps!

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C.R.

answers from Charlotte on

My nephew has had great results with Hyland's Bedwetting Tablets.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

We had the same issue. My daughter refused to wear pullups. We even started to wake her up to go potty in the middle of the night. She still fought us. We were tired of waking up in the middle of the night to change her whole bedding. We finally bought the malem ultra from http://www.bedwettingstore.com. It vibrates and an alarm sounds. She's been wearing it for 3 months now and the alarm has only sounded twice. Practice with him on how to turn off the alarm. That's what scared her the most was not being able to make it stop. My husband didnt' think the alarm would work. It did. It does wake them up.

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R.R.

answers from Seattle on

I can tell you what we did with my 4 year old. At night, she said she did not want to wear pull ups anymore because they were for babies. So, my husband and I would get up twice a night (11 pm and 2 am) and take her to the potty. Eventually, we started just getting up one time (midnight) to take her. We also really limit beverages after dinner. If she is thirsty, I just give her one or two sips of water or let her drink from the sink using her hands. This has worked. We've only had a couple of accidents, and I think that was because we forgot to get her up a couple of times. I feel confident that we will be able to stop getting her up in the very near future.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

If he is not ready there is nothing you can do. That is not a abnormal problem for a 4yo boy, in fact many would not even consider it a problem. What I do is figure out when at night he goes, wake him and take him potty at those times.

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S.B.

answers from Abilene on

discuss with your pedi some kids take longer than others some have harder sleeping patterns and dont wake up not unusual though , if night is the only problem try limiting drinks before bedtime also sometimes is sign of bladder infection talk to doc he probly has best advice godbless

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

C. , I know it's frustrating but you could try setting your alarm & getting her up at least twice during the night to go to the bathroom. It worked for one of mine & she was almost 5.
Hang in there.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

When my oldest son was about that age, he was a bed wetter, too. After we reached the end of our ropes, we took him to see his pediatrician, who said that it could be a milk allergy. Once we took him off dairy products, no more soggy sheets!

suziwollman

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V.S.

answers from Dallas on

This is going to sound crazy, but it changed our lives. My six year old was wetting the bed again after a long time going dry. He was so frustrated and nothing we tried worked. The doctor said he'd "grow out of it." Then I had a friend tell me that she was told to quit giving her son milk after 6pm. He had wet the bed every night until he was twelve. The doc that told her said that in some children, milk irritates the bladder lining. The child may not have any milk allergies at all, but if you quit milk after 6pm, they quit having accidents.

We had nothing to lose, so we tried it. Since then we have had ONE accident. It was like flipping a switch. Our son now has water with dinner and as much water as he wants in the evening...and no more accidents! Hope this works for some of you guys as well.

V. S

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

I was quite a bit older when I stopped wetting the bed, too. Believe me, I did not want to, but there was nothing that helped. Back then there were not even pull-ups, so it was extra terrible. My son (8) has the same issue. We have tried waking him up at night, but like another mom said, it is like trying to drag a bag of rocks and takes forever to wake him. One doctor mentioned medicine. Two others said the alarm is the way to go.

Good luck! I hope your son is able to stay dry soon! Just know that lots of boys aren't even potty trained in the day until they are 4!

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M.V.

answers from Abilene on

My husband is a physician and I'm a social worker. We have done research on this and have dealt with this many times over in our professions. It is actually normal for a child to not be potty-trained at night time up until the age of 7. You can try the other suggestions and may be a good idea but showing your child frustration and/or disappointment can make it worse. I've suggested to several friends to put underwear on their child and then the pullup. This gives the child the feeling of being wet without you having to wash all the bedding every morning. Many of them have had great success with this; however, some have not as their child falls into a deep sleep pattern and just cannot wake up to that urgency. It will happen. Just try to be patient. Best wishes!

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

Both my 5 and 6 year old wear pullups at night. I'm currently transitioning my 6 year old b/c if he goes before he goes to bed (800pm) and then when I go to bed (1130pm), he's dry all night. My 5 year old the same thing.

I know some people that did the cold turkey and it worked "for them" but not for my kids. They'll stop when they are ready.

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

My 14 year old wet his bed until right before his 10th birthday. I went thru everything trying to help him. Nothing worked- the alarm was a big waste of money- he slept right thru. It finally just happened on it's own. My 7 year old is going thru this too. I am not stressing this time over it. My daughter was just fine- potty trained at night before 3. Don't worry, it will happen on it's own.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 8 and still wears them at night. He is such a deep sleeper that nothing wakes him up at night. I tried that waking him during the wee hours of the morning and it was like carrying a 65 pound sack of rocks around to the bathroom. He hates wearing them but it is less stressful on both of us if he does until he catches up with things. Both sides of the family have bedwetters and he is ADHD, which I understand can also cause issues with bedwetting.

I would not stress over it. It is very common and you will appreciate getting your sleep as well during the night and less laundry.

J.

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

Place a waterproof pad on the bed(on top of the sheet) to protect the sheets, I still have a couple of pads from the crib days and they are very useful. My almost 4 yr. old and 5 year old both have pullups at night and it's less stressful for me and they don't wake up in the middle of the night miserable. I will begin doing as another person suggested and that is, waking the 5 year old in the wee hours to go to the bathroom and letting his bladder adjust to the schedule. Most mornings, he's dry and she's barely wet.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

My 5year old still wears pull-ups at night and my brother wet the bed until he was 12. I have decided not to stress about it and just wait it out. It takes some boys a lot longer to master this skill and putting up with the pull-ups is easier than trying to force the issue. :)

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

This is really not unususal. My now 7 year old didn't stop having night issues until almost 7. He sleeps really really hard and doesn't even realized he had wet the bed. Also we had worse times when he had a growth spurt and the inside hadn't caught up with the outside.

If its a matter of the smell use something with baking soda. Have you tried the alarm pads? They might help. My friend used plastic shower liners between the layers of bottom sheets so that all she had to do was strip the top sheet. Good luck!

C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I would not worry about it and just let him do it when he's ready. I really tried to not set any kind of a dead line for my son to be potty trained. That away the pressure is not a factor for you or him. Trust me, he'll get it in time. The only thing that I really focused on was always keeping it a positive thing.
Hang in there and in time it will take care of its self.
C.

Y.I.

answers from Dallas on

I would not expect him to stay dry until he is around 5. Then If he wasn't staying dry ask a doctor.
L.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I just got my 3.5yo trained and I'll tell you what I did with him. I really think each child is different in this regard, so you kind of have to experiment with them. Mine made it through the night for the first time last night without wetting the bed. He is usually asleep by 8pm. We cut off liquids about 6:30 or so and have him pee every half hour after that before bed (try to get as much out as possible- he always holds some in when he pees, so we have to have him go multiple times). You have to remember to have him do this because his body won't be telling him to go, necessarily, you know? I then wake him about 1.5 hours after falling asleep to let the bladder fill the rest and have him pee and put him back in bed. I tried going 2 hours and it was too long for him, that's why I said experiment. I know that he still has pee in his bladder in the morning because he'll pee when he wakes up, therefore I know he's able to hold some.

Hopefully our good streak will hold, but I have the overlay pad (bought it online) over the bottom sheet just in case. I have an extra for the change, if needed. I bought the kind that tucks in under the mattress because he moves a lot. I also figured out that tucking in his top sheet (which is all he uses with this hot weather, but it can be done with a blanket too) under the mattress on both sides of the bed and making it taut helps to keep it off of him where he might pee on it. Keeps me from having to change any sheets (just his underwear and the overlay).

I don't know for how long I'll have to keep this up, but I know he can hold some liquid in his bladder for like 9 hours, so that's pretty good. It's nice to be out of diapers/pull-ups.

Hope this helps.

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J.O.

answers from Dallas on

Sometimes bedwetting is a genetic thing. Sometimes it is a medical problem. Sometimes, when a child doesn't drink ENOUGH, their body won't pee much during the day, especially if they have to stop watching TV or playing a game, so when they are asleep, they don't have control over the muscles and they relax and wet the bed. You mentioned "stinky", if your child was drinking enough water throughout the day, their urine would not be as strong. Try for the summer to keep water available where you can see how much he is drinking, encourage him to drink water with meals and snacks and you should be able to see him going to the bathroom more often during the day and if he does have an accident at night, yes, you will have laundry, but you shouldn't have the smell.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

If I understood correct, he wets the bed. I had a friend that said anytime her child ate any dairy product of an evening, her child wet the bed.Ice cream, cottagecheese, etc. YOu may try that, and of courses the limit on liquids of an evening also. Somekids bladders are just small and of course if they are asleep they don't know they need to go. Hope this helps.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

Gosh, that seems so young for you to be frustrated already. I think I was 25 before I stopped wetting the bed. Okay, maybe just 10, but it sure felt like 25 years!

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I can say that not having drinks late at night does help. But, my daughter was 12 when she finally quit wetting the bed. I took her to the dr. , a urologist, etc. Nothing was wrong with her, she just has a small bladder. So, that may be all it is.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

Moms, I want you to consider this story.

One day my son was trying to get his --almost trained-- nearly 4 yr old to use the potty before they left. He reminded him that it would take a while to get home. The boy's response was," It's alright, Daddy. I have pull-ups on".

I have reached the age where I have to get up to 'potty' several times a night, creaking and groaning. I often think of the convenience of pull-ups and can see why the kids won't let them go. They don't feel any discomfort therefore suffer no consequences. So I think the pull-ups---just maybe---teach them that there are ways around doing the responsible thing and to make excuses for their actions.

I know some kids do have small bladders etc. but I truly believe that parents should insist on them staying dry all night as soon as possible. You will know when they are ready. Think of it as one little step in character training. And don't buy into the popular "when he's ready". Will you let him decide "when he is ready" to get out of bed to go to school?

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

Try cutting him off from all liquids a few hours before bed.

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hey C. -
I can relate to the struggle to get out of the Pull-Ups. My 4 year-old was in them until about a month before his 4th birthday. He's my 4th kid, so I wasn't as rigorous with his potty training as I had been with the others, but it was getting crazy! So, I prayed about what was holding him back from making the leap to wearing underpants all the time - and I felt like I was supposed to ask him if he was afraid of soiling his pants again. Sure enough, that was it with him. He had woken up in dry diapers or pull-ups for a long time, but had continual accidents during the daytime. So, when he told me that he really was afraid of ruining the nice underwear, I knew that I just needed to talk to him about that it happens, but trying is the most important part. I also realized mid-conversation with him that it would be cheaper to buy two whole packages of underwear every week than to keep buying those crazy pull-ups! Well, when I told him that, he just felt so empowered I guess, that he never had an accident again and suddenly became a "big boy". Hope that encourages you - not that it is the same for your son, but to ask him what the holdup is and help him get past it.
You can do it!!!!!
Blessings, S.
(SAHM of 4, ages 14/10/8/4 - full-time work, just no paycheck with it!) ;)

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Boys are much slower than girls and even my 6 yr old still sleeps in the larger pull ups called Goodnights. I have talked to our pedi and there is medication but he said he usually waits till age 8. It could be a bladder control issue, sleeping deep etc. We do no liquids after 6pm but still maybe once a week he wakes up wet. I know they are pricey but it really is not his fault. Maybe he needs more time and as long as he is good during the day in underwear I would give him more time to train at night. Good luck. Oh and there is my 3 yr old who has been 100% trained day and night and will wake up to potty so who knows.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

I really wouldn't sweat this at all - just keep him in the pull-ups at night until he's more ready. There are MANY school-aged kids who still require pull-ups at night. You'd be surprised at how many - especially boys.

Meanwhile, you might try some habit changing to help prepare him for not wetting at night - send him to the bathroom right before bed and cut off fluids at least an hour before that so he can really empty his bladder that last trip. First thing in the morning, send him to the potty.

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

My eldest daughter was in pull-ups at night until she was nearly 5. To start getting her out of them we made sure she pottied before bed; then would take her again before we went to sleep and once more in the early-morning hours. Eventually she was able to wake herself to go when she needed to.

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W.D.

answers from Dallas on

hi C., i had the same problem. my four year old jsut wasn't interested in getting up in the middle of the night. i put 2 to 3 pairs of underware on him. i made sure he went to the bathroom before bed and i stopped giving him liquids about an hour before bedtime. this was hard because he use to go to bed with water in a sippy cup and his stuffed doggie-he's had many baths and surgeries. i didn't want to get up in the middle of the night with him so i sent him to bed early and before i went to bed i got him up again and took him to the bathroom. put a plastic sheet on the bed and when he wets the bed he'll eventually get tired of sleeping in pee. i know how frustrating it is good luck. W. d

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N.H.

answers from Dallas on

My duaghter is going on 8 and she still has to wear them. We did have a uroligist doctor visit to make sure everything was ok. We did find out that her bladder was normal size and functioning properly but...we did find out that her bm's were not quite regular and that b/c of that it was applying added pressure to her bladder. Making it harder for her to hold it and make it thru the night. Also my daughter is a very heavy sleeper, always has been. We can move her all around the house she won't wake up, so waking up to to potty is just impossible. I would talk to your pedi doctor and be thankful that we have pull ups. My daughter has started some medication and now there are only a few mornings where she wakes up wet. Since she is older i am very careful about sleepovers b/c it is embarrassing. We have a routine down and she only wears pjs with pants or shorts so her friends won't see. Your son is still young and her body is still changing alot. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried the boxer sleep pants you can get now. I know it's still kind of a pull up, but they are a little big "bigger boy" pants. Maybe try transitioning with those. If he likes these new ones you could buy him some boxer briefs. Try not giving him anything to drink before bed and if he falls asleep wake him up enough to make him pee before you leave him for the night. We went through this with my 6 year old son. He was still in pull ups at 4 too. We made a big deal of big boy underwear, and we still make sure to wake him up to pee if he falls asleep before we know he has gone. Hope some of this helps.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Been there, done that. My son did not stop wearing them at night until he was almost 5. We just kept talking about it and asking if he wanted to wear his underwear. We even bought some new underware when he decided to stop wearing the pull up. I think they just have to be ready. But it is no fun for us. Good luck!!!

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N.K.

answers from Dallas on

It's not clear from your post if he's purposefully resisting or just not making it to the potty.

Have you tried using underwear and putting a training potty next to his bed (with a thick towel under it)? Make sure he doesn't have water in the bedroom. Put a cup of water on the bathroom counter, and tell him that the rule is, if he gets up to get a drink, he needs to try to potty at the same time.

Hope these help.

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