Potty Training Dilemma

this was the same battle I have fought for a whole year. My daughter was the same way and I tried every trick in the book. I even tried bribes early on and they did not work. She has recently got into Hannah Montana-so I use them for bribes. I let her pick out the prize-toy, panties,cd,etc. and tell her when she goes #2 in the potty she can have it. I put it on the top of the fridge, so she can see it and keep it in her head. You just have to find the thing that he wants more than anything and let him "earn" it.

Bribery!
I bought my son the die cast Cars (~$3/each). I gave him the first (Lighting McQueen)and he had to earn the rest. I had them all lined up on the mantel - he could see, but not touch. After he went potty he could pick one to open. It took a week to earn the first, and it was not everyday that he got one. After an accident we cried that it was so sad, no car today. You can try stickers or a candy, but my son needed something that was stronger than the fear.

My daughter did this too, not fun. I gave her Miralx in her milk for 2 days. It takes about 24 hrs for thst stuff to kick in, then when I knew she had loose stoll but was still refusing to go, I gave her a glycerin suppository. She got very upset and cried b/c it was so uncomfortable. So I put her on the potty after the suppository and told her that is she would just go poo poo we would go get ice cream afterwards. She immedatley went poo poo and has every day since=)

Hi A.,
It took both of my kids another month after mastering pee pee in the potty to get the pooping in the potty down. If you have a training potty, have him sit on that....they are used to pooping with their feet firmly planted on the ground, so sitting on the big potty to poop can be a strange thing for them.

Also, what worked for us....reward him with what he likes the most. For my son, it was Cars movie cars. I would buy a couple of cars at a time & hang them from the kitchen cabinet so that he could see them. When he made a poop in the potty, he got to choose a car to have. I spent a small fortune on cars, but he was fully potty trained within a month.

Good luck....hang in there....it just takes time & persistance, but when they get it down, it is a wonderful freedom to have!

A....I think you are the greatest Mom EVER!!! I am so proud of you...you are just a natural!!! Don't worry about getting stressed...everybody has those days and weeks! Just always know I am here to listen or to talk!!!

I love you so much!

Your Mom!!! :)

There are lots of reasons kids don't want to poop on the toilet--fear, control,etc. If he is holding it until he gets a diaper on, don't sweat it--he's essentially potty trained. Keep him in underwear, then tell him to let you know when he needs to poop so you can get him a diaper. Or you could just get him one after meals, when most kids poop.
I'd have him go into the bathroom to poop--more convenient to clean up, etc. Then ask him to sit on his potty chair with the diaper on. Small steps.
If this goes on for awhile, have him start being more responsible for the diaper--dumping it into the potty, folding it up, taking it out to the trash, etc. Pretty soon he'll realize that it's a lot more convenient to go on the potty.
Whatever you do, act like it's no big deal to you one way or the other.....

That is perfectly normal at the beginning of potty training. Both of my daughters did the same thing for a while. Most of my friends say that they too had the same problem. I also babysat all during college and most of those children did the same thing. I think it is developmental. My youngest daughter would hold it for a week. When I saw her holding it in I would ask her if she could go on the toilet. She would resist at first, so I told her that it is cleaner and won't feel yucky like it does in a diaper. She would ask for a pull-up to go number 2. I think it took a month. After she did it in the toilet the first time she never had another accident.

I have boy/girl twins, ages 2 yrs. 8 mos. old. The day I decided to potty train them "for real", I bribed them with a day at Chucky E. Cheese's. By 8am, they had both t-t'd in the potty & my son poo-poo'd in his little potty BY HISSELF while I took a shower at 10am!!!!!

I was very nervous going into this b/c of all the horror stories of potty training. USE BIG BRIBES THAT HE WOULD WANT TO DO! This worked for me & they were basically trained the first day.

My son did the same thing. He would ask for a pull up, poop, and go back to underwear. I didn't make a big deal and he eventually went in the potty. I did start with the training potty lined with a bag. He needed the security of having his feet on the floor. After a week he switched to the big potty. The fears are very real for them even though thay have a had time expressing them.

I just went through this with my son 3.3 y/o. He did exactly what you are describing. It is not fun. He did this for over a month. This may sound crazy,but I finally relized he squatted down when he would go in his pull-up,so I had him try squatting up over the potty. He has been going in the potty ever since!!! Although, he does still squat over the toilet...I will take it! Whatever works.

I think it must be very common for boys to have this aversion. We had quite a time with our first one so when his little brother was ready we had Superman call him. I have a friend with a big booming voice and when we had a successful "number 2" trip Superman would congratulate him.
I can't remember if we called Superman or if he heard about it and called my son.(for the sake of believability)
He will get it no matter what you decide. It just takes a little consistency and calm on your part. Prayer helps a lot.

About the time of day he used to go, put him on the pot and read him a little story,or let him look at some books, and make it a pleasant experience, and he may (accidently go poop) while sitting there. Then if he does, say what a big boy, and maybe reward him with raisens or a choclate chip etc. so that he can see it is no big deal, and may tell you next time. This worked with my son.

My youngest son was the same way. I discussed it with my dr who said that potty training is for the parents convenience, not the kids, and that he would go when he was ready. I quit worrying about it and quit making him sit on the toilet and by 4 my son was finally going poop in the toilet of his own accord. My son later told me that he was afraid of falling in - which he had never expressed before - but that he was tired of having messy pants. At any rate, I would worry more about him becoming constipated from holding it than from going in the toilet.

Hi, A.. It's not just with the boys. My daughter was the same way... she was "pee-pee trained" but would refuse to go poop on the potty. I asked her pediatrician about it, and he said it was completely normal and not to worry. My daughter would never poop in her panties. She would simply ask us for a diaper because she had to go poop. We tried the motivation charts, the rewards with little gifts, etc., but nothing would motivate her to poop anywhere but in her diaper. We allowed her to poop in the diaper, so she wouldn't hold her poop and get "backed up". :) I will tell you that she was "pee-pee trained" about 6 months before she went poop on the potty, but once she did and got over whatever it was in her mind that was keeping her from doing it, she's been doing it ever since. She was so proud of herself. We never forced her to sit on the potty until she pooped nor did we ever deny her a diaper when she asked for one. Allowing her to do it when she was ready and using the diapers until she was ready worked for us, and it kept it from being a negative experience for her. Good luck!

My daughter did the same thing. For some reason the whole poopy in the toilet really scared her. So i left pullups where she could get them herself. She would run and change and then come tell me. In the mean time i continued to talk to her and we woudl flush some of her pull up poopy. Soon she would try a little and not long after she was on schedule. I just relaxed and let her take the lead on this one. A month a week whatever won't matter at all when she is 16. Good luck!

My recommendation is to wait. Three year old boys take longer to train than girls.. and I would wait on training him until he shows more signs. I believe that beginninig too soon just causes problems for everyone.

We bought a potty chair for my son, when my husband went in to do his "business", my son went too - whether he had to go or not. They would read magazines while they were in there or do whatever men do while on the pot. =0)
When he (my son)finally did his "business" in his potty, we made such a big deal out of it. He was just as excited.

We used this method on both boys and both were potty trained by the age of 2.

A., I completely understand. I am potty training my daughter and have potty trained my son two years ago. That is always a tough hurdle for them. What I did was keep them seated for a little longer first thing in the morning. I would do that as often as I could throughout the day. In the diet (because they have not pooped) I would just provide them with as much fruits and vegetables as possible, along with a lot of water to help move it out. I avoided bread products as they make it more difficult for them to pass. Eventually they feel the urgency and end up going. You do that to them a couple of times, they realize it's not that bad and it becomes routine. :)

Hope this helps. :)

L. G

My son was really into matchbox cars, so we bought about 20 (for $20 - so worth more than that). He knew they were there - up in our closet. Each time he went poopy on the potty he could pick one out - very motivating because there was an instant reward. It worked so well!
I know someone who had her son sit on the potty at the same time each day - with a timer set for 10 minutes. They read books in the bathroom. It trained his body to go at the same time each day - helped him to be regular.

My grandson was the same way.

He absolutely loves the Matchbox cars so we bought a big sack of them and told him he would get one for every time he pooped in the potty.

He did not budge at the very first but with some encouragement he came around and loved getting to pick out which car he could have for each occasion.

My son did the exact same thing!!! I started potty training him right after he turned 3...he will be 4 in July. He will still hold it until he absolutely has to go. But he goes when he needs to, so I don't worry about it much until he doesn't go for 5 days! Then I do all kinds of fruit, fruit juice, raisins, etc. For some reason, this seems to be normal for boys. He is fine, don't worry about it! When he does have to go, he will. He did have a few accidents in his pull up that we put him at night, usually in the am before he got us up.

Hope this helps!

My son will be 3 on June 29th - he has been pee peeing for quite a few months. We have started the true potty training a couple of times but he would start getting mad - so I backed off. Just within the last couple of weeks we have really concentrated on the pee part. When I felt he really had a handle on that - we started with the poop. I knew it was time because he started asking me if he had a diaper on - telling me he needed to poo poo.

Yesterday when we had nothing going on - we had naked day - where he is literally naked most of the day with the exception of his nap. :-) He did great with the pee pee. When he asked me if he had his pull up on, I told him no and to sit on the potty. He wasn't too thrilled at first, but I enticed him to sit on the potty. It was about 2 hours until he actually pooped - but he did it. I told him how great it was too poop on the potty - that it makes a snake. He thought that was cool. :-) I am hoping that today goes just as well. I figure that getting him to do it for the first time is the hard part - so hopefully he will go again today.
I have no problems with using bribery - he ate popcorn - favorite crackers - anything to entice him to sit there and be comfy. We are about to buy him a playset - so I pulled them up on the computer while he was sitting there and looked at them with him. After working on it so long - he was excited about going. Oh, put something under his feet so he has something to push down on. I used his step stool. When I put it there - I talked about how his friends did that - which made it more exciting as well.
Good luck!!!

A., I'm a grandma raising a 3 yr. old gd. My very first child, a girl, back in the day, started the habit of withholding #2, and I have to tell you it developed into a serious problem. I would recommend taking your son to the pediatrician. The ped told me that I was to put her back in diapers, never expressing anything about wanting her to use the potty. He prescribed Dulcolax suppositories every morning, and a stool softener at night. He told me she WOULD go with these measures, and she did. It was another 6 mo. before we tried the potty again. In the meantime, I was not to say anything about it, good or bad, no praise, no scolding, and no facial expressions!!! When she told the baby sitter "I don't think my mommy WANTS me to use the potty,", the dr. said he thought it was time to try again. I was to say that it would be ok for her to go on the potty. I let it go on too long before going to the ped. She went to her regular GP, but he didn't know enough about it. The ped said that children who withhold bms can start doing it again at any time, and to watch carefully to make sure it didn't happen.

My daughter is now 34 years old and has no problems in this area! In fact, after the initial 6 mo. of going back in diapers, she did not have any more trouble with this. It took the visit to the ped to get it all going again.

Don't rush him on the pooping, many boys dont poop on the potty until they are about 4 or close to it.

Just keep putting him on the potty at regular intervals during the day and he will get it...

Tell him when he feels the poo poo coming to go get on the potty. Also, when he goes in his pants. take the poopy diaper and shake the poop off the diaper into the toilette and say "BY POO POO" when you flush it and then he will get the idea that the poop goes there and its not scary...A

Also, let him watch you poop and say stuff like "mommy's going poo poo" and "daddy made a big stinky poo poo in the potty" then he will feel more comfortable. kids often have issues about going to the bathroom but dont know how to express it or dont even realize its an issue because they dont know how to talk about stuff until they see you do it...

hope that helps.

My son was a week away from turning 3 and would sit on the potty when he felt poo-poo was coming, but then it wouldn't come. I'd put his diaper back on and it would come! It was a just a "thing." The day before he turned 3, Grandma visited from Arizona, and had a squirt gun to give him - - but only when he made poo-poo in the potty. That first day, I gave him "naked time" out on our back patio with his sand-box and wading-pool. Grandma and I sat on the porch swing and talked and watched him play - - until he said he had to go! We ran in to the potty when he felt it coming - - NOTHING! We came back outside. It was coming! We ran back to the potty - - NOTHING! We came back outside. Next time, it was coming, I didn't think it really was, so I said, "Oh, just squat over there and put the poo-poo in your yellow sand-bucket." IT CAME. We called his dad and celebrated, but dad was doubtful and said, "What if he goes to college carrying a yellow, sand-bucket under his arm?!!"

The next day, my son was calling from the potty, "OH, Grandma! Can I have my squirt gun now?!" He had the biggest grin on his little face when Grandma acted all surprised and happy that he had put poo-poo in the potty.

I waited 15 years to be able to do the punchline to this story. When my son left for college, I handed him a large industrial-sized yellow, sand-bucket with a list of the top ten uses for it at college!!!!

A.,
Please don't worry about it, he will do the do when he is ready.

My daughter did the same thing. In fact she had a lot of accidents with poo poo. It took a good month longer than with just pee. I think he will be fine. I started giving my daughter suckers everytime she did it in the potty and then she would do it and ask for her sucker. After a couple of weeks like that, I stopped giving her suckers and now she does fine. She started training at the end of December and now she is almost potty trained at night too.