I have a three year old (just turned on January 30th). He does fine with going potty at home, however nto at day care. He's at day care five days a week for hours. They refuse to help us. I try to explain to them that's it not healthy for him to be going back and forth from underwear to diapers everyday, but they don't care. They say, "We are waiting for him to go on his own." Well, unless you teach them that they have to go they won't! When I tell them that go goes just fine at home they tell me they will start monitering him. They ask him if he has to go and that's that. They don't tell him to go or anything. When I go to pick him up I make sure he goes before we leave, and I have no problem getting him to go there. One of the teachers jsut ask, "How come he does it for you and not us?"
What do I do? My son is three and still not potty trained. I want to but Brandon in preschool in July but I can't until he is potty trained. How do I make them help me on this? I can't change his daycare, he goes on base and we are transferring in 4 months. He'll change then, but that's when I want to put him in pre-school. And I hate to change his day care now and then change it again in two months.
I've tried telling them I was going to start sending him in "big boy underwear". You have to have a "potty conference" with the director after the providers have observed him for two weeks and agree that he's ready. They don't even like me to send him in pull ups.
He goes to the day care on base. They won't let me stop bringing diapers until he's fully potty trained. I told them one day that I almost had that morning. I was told I couldn't. They will let me know when he's ready. I'm not the only one having this problem. Out of 12 kids in his class only three or four are p.t. at school. The rest are at home but not day care. They tell me they can't make him. They ask a couple of times a day if he has to go. When he tells them no that's it. I told them they have my permission to make him sit down, but they won't do it.
Mrs. Carolyn N,
I appreciate your response, but since my son isn't the only child that is having this problem it is obviousily the day care's fault. They have responsibility of my son for 8 to 9 hours a day, five days a week. They need to help me, that's their job. I was told in October that they expected him to be completely trained by Christmas. Now, in February, I hear, "Hopefully by the time you have your baby." I'm due in May! I had him home with me almost all of week before last, and some of this week. He was doing GREAT! After just two days back at day care, he is back sliding soo bad I had to change his pull-up b/c it was completely full twice in one day. Their job is to help me and to provide stability and support for my son. They aren't doing that, and that's the problem.
Thank you everyone for you help. I'm going to talk to the director on Monday about it. I'll let everyone know what she tells me.
I have the same issue with my 3 year old (4 next month). I finally got "kicked out" of his preschool because of it. I wish I had some good advice, but I could use some too!
Perhaps you could send him to an inhome daycare, or another mom who stays home could watch him? Sounds like lazy daycare to me.
It sound like the daycare needs to be more on top of it with potty needs! I work at a preschool in Vista, and we make sure that if we know kids who don't go "on their own" we make them. Just bring lots of extra changedso f clothes to school. Let your little guy pick out the kind of undies he wants, so that when he has an accident he'll care that Batman, or whoever, got pee or poopies on him. Make it fun for him. Have a potty sticker chart. Every day that he doesn't have an accident at school he earns a sticker. After 5 stickers, you can reward him with Chuck E Cheese or something he likes. For every day he has an accident, take a sticker off. Just meke sure to to tell his daycare providers, especially the director, what you are doing, so there is follow through on their part too. This is pne of those times in his life that teachers need to work together with you for consistency. Hope this is a little helpful. Let me know how it goes. Good Luck! :)
Listen A.,
You wouldn't like it if someone from outside the military started telling you how to do your job, would you? Think about it, the day care is doing you huge favor and your son too by allowing him to come to school. He will soon grow out of this potty problem all on his own, and you need to stop trying to force the school staff and the child. Let them work it out when he is there, and you and your son work it out when you are together. Of course he goes to the potty when you get there, he is more comfortable with you. He has probably been waiting for you to come so you could take him to the bathroom. These children have a huge brain, and they use it, they just don't tell us everything with words.
In four months! that is a long time in a almost potty trained child's life. He will be ready. Relax, enjoy this time and he will respond lots better.
I taught preschool for many years - and potty trained my own, just believe me, you are making a big deal out of something that will solve itself. Save yourself for the bigggg problems of life, and they will come along on their own.
For Heaven's Sake leave him in day care, he loves it. Think! friends, friends, friends, friends are very important to us in all stages of our lives.
Sorry about being so mean, Sincerely, C. N
I feel for you. I know how hard it was when My daughter was potty training and I had a daycare that helped me. I unfortunately don't have much advice for you, except that Maggie didn't start doing really good until she was wearing her big girl panties. She realized very quickly once she was in them she would get very wet if she had an accident and she didn't like that feeling. Her daycare agreed with me, infact it was their idea to just start having her wear them even though she was still having accidents. I would have a talk with the director of the daycare. They should help you with this! Good luck!
It sounds like your daycare is not very kid friendly. How is a kid supposed to know they have to go potty if they wear a diaper all day? Thats just not going to work. My son is 28 months and been potty trained for 5 weeks now and he was going to a home daycare when we first started. I have stopped using it since due to not needing it anymore, but they allowed him to come in underwear and said if he couldn't make it thorugh the day then they would use pullups but just having the consistency of underwear everyday I think is what made him use the potty no matter where he was. Can you look into a home daycare for a few months until you switch? Good luck!
I don't understand why they don't just take him to the bathroom every so often. My grandson's day care did require that he wear pull ups until he mostly went in the toilet. And so he wore pull ups at home too. My daughter bought the kind that let him feel the discomfort of wet. And she then continued to take him to the bathroom, if he didn't go on his own, as if she were potty training him.
I also don't understand why they won't use pull ups. Do they provide the diapers? Would they use pull ups if you brought them?
If calm, reasonable, non-confrontive conversation doesn't work I don't think that you can force them to change.
You could consider if there are reasons that he doesn't use the toilet at daycare other than they don't take him. Is daycare stressful for him? If so is there something else you could change to help relieve his stress?
How well do they handle other situations? Are there enough workers for the number of children they have? Are the toilets conveniently located and easy to use? Do they provide a consistent routine? My grandson is in a Head Start preschool and they line the kids up and take them to the bathroom every day at the same time.
Could you spend several hours with him and teach him how to use their toilets within their routine.
A more positive thought. In 4 months he will be older and since he's potty trained at home you can honestly tell them he's trained. And it will be a different situation which may be easier for him. The staff may also be more understanding and willing to work with you if he does have accidents. In the meantime having him in diapers at school and big boy pants at home can be explained to him without expressing frustration with the school and he may be able to do that without so much confusion that he doesn't remain potty trained. In this situation it is important for him to not pick up on emotion about the situation. If he knows you don't like the way the school is doing this he will have a more difficult time adapting and be less likely to ever use the toilet at school.
I wish you luck and a calmness that will help all of you.
Do you provide the diapers for him at daycare? If you do then take in some underwear for him and ask for all the diapers back. Also, make sure you send him with a couple extra pairs of pants for accidents.
Then they have no choice but to make sure he goes potty. Also, since he wears underwear at home and probably doesn't like when he feels wet, he will go up to them and tell them he has to go potty.
Good luck :)
The first thing to realize is that the daycare has the right idea, if brandon is not telling you that he is ready then he really isnt to force a child to be potty trained is harder and not worth the pain and agony, I am the mother of 5, wonderful kids, two were potty trained before they were two, that was their own will and volition, one was nearly 4, that was harder on me but ok, he really wasnt ready and one was about two and a half. Katey is 2 yrs 4 months and has down syndrome so I am not pushing it but she doesnt want to wear her pampers and wants panties so it may be time to introduce the potty, who knows I may get lucky.
I know your frustration and I can also sympathize with you, if you are sending him to a daycare that is extremely full, they may be overwhelmed, they should honor your wishes and tell him at least 4 times a day, honey its time to potty. how hard can that be, if they are, then maybe he is not really ready and does it at home for you because he wants to please you, because he loves you and doesnt want to disappoint you. Children are smarter then we think.
If you are looking for great day care in the oceanside area. Together we grow is great!!! small class sizes and lots of adults. Its located on the corner of mission avenue and el camino real, right by the police station.
good luck
R.
Hello,
Regarding your situation, to be honest I can't believe that the daycare provider will not help you potty train your son. All it takes is to remind your son and take him every hour on the hour. Daycare providers are suppose to be there to help out the families. I think that it is wonderful that your son is ready.
As a daycare provider myself, I know that I have the children in my care longer then the parents and that the children need consistancy in there little lives. They need stability as well. You are completely right when you stated that you can't keep on going back and forth from diapers to big boy underwear.
I understand that you don't want to place him in a different daycare setting because you are transferring in 4 months, but you need to look at the over all picture....if you are able to find a daycare provider that will indeed work with you on potty training, that will benefit your son in the long run and he will be ready for Pre-School.
Good luck
What day care are you using? I thought I was having problems with getting my sitter to help train my son. I was having a lot of success at home but none at her house,two weeks before he turned three she told me he had to be fully trained. I nicely told her he was at home. To get him to use the potty at her house, I told him he had to tell his sitter when he had to go and he only used the pull-ups at nap time.
It works, he now tells everyone he has to go.
If you are providing the diapers stop bringing them. your daycare will have to use the training paints.
Good luck
I have worked in Childcare for over 14 years and your providers do not have any idea what they are doing. When I had my 2 year old room and a child started showing an interest (or if they were on the older side)then we would take them potty every 1/2 hour. As they started going we would ask every 1/2 hour. I never asked for pull- ups (too expensive and useless). We did diapers until child was somewhat consistent and familair with my routine. (Usually a couple weeks, sometimes a couple months from the point we started, then we would move to underwear and lots of extra changes. Yes it made more work for me, but it was about the child not me. The best advantage for your child is for the providers and yourself to be on the same page. It's really sad they are so inexperianced and lazy. I'm sorry I have no real advice for you...I'm not sure where you live or where you are heading, but most "pre-schools" do not require a child to be potty trained anymore. Especially if you go in sayiong he's potty trained. If he has a handful of accidents at school they will probably think he's slightly regressing due to the change and step up staying on top of him and they will have him under control in no time. it's what we do to make our days go easier. We (the non-lazy and those that like what we do)want all the kids in our care to succeed. Good luck! Please feel free to ask me anything if you have more childcare questions!!
Sounds like you need a better daycare lol
It sounds like he's got it mostly down, but maybe it will help to have reconfirming day with him. I highly recommend the doll method. (Potty Scotty) My son trained in 1 day with it. It worked great! I was even trained with the same method back in '78 hehe Everyone I've spoken to had great results as well. Best of Luck to You! :)
http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Boy-Potty-Training-Doll-Potty-Sco...
Find a new daycare. They obviously do not care about your son or you. Do you really want them being responsible for your son?
Have you spoken to the director of your center? When a parent has a specific request for their child it is up to the care PROVIDER to respond accordingly with the parents request. Is your child in a class with other potty training kids? When I was potty training my daughter (4yrs next month) the center she was at at the time encouraged me to encourage her to try to go more at home. It was frustrating for me because she's my first and only and I'm a single mom who was going to school and working at the same time. I got had her completely potty trained before she was there by (and this seems very harsh but it worked for us...) telling her she wouldn't have her birthday if she didn't go potty for me at home.
Hello,
My daughter just turned three on Jan 29th. When I signed her up for Preschool she was going potty at home with few minor accidents. Her Preschool said accidents are normal and to just leave a lot of spare clothing for the first few weeks. For the first week she had a lot of accidents in her big girl undies, and fewer the next and by the third she didn't have any. This was her fourth week and she hasn't had a problem yet. I think its natural for kids to have a few accidents, thats how they learn. Your son will be able to regulate him self if your daycare will let him try. Ask them to please keep him out of diapers, and ask that they have him sit on the potty every hour or so. Thats what I did with my daughter. She some times wakes up at night to go now. Oh and another thing I did was use the pull-ups and not call them diapers, have the Daycare not use "diaper" because then he'll think its acceptable to potty in them. Most kids need to be taught, and wont ask to go right of the bat. Daycare just might not want to do the extra work. Hopefully you can get them to work with you. It will be so helpful if they do.
To be honest it sounds like you need to change day care providers. I know its hard to think of that because I am sure your child has made friends there but if the facility is not willing to help you to help your son to become potty trained they are not the place for your child. I have never had a day care facility refuse to help a child to go to the bathroom. This is obsurd. I hope this helps you.
